[Closed] Support Wanted - Reach out here

Jeanne, I appreciate that so much!

Anita

❤️????

Anita - my husband of 25+ years travels a lot for business. My daughter has grown up and moved away. There are times when I am by myself for 2-3 weeks at a time. We have 2 cats + 2 dogs, which helps. I socialize as I can, but I empathize completely with your feelings. It may come across as cliche`, but my grandmother always counseled me to "keep busy" when feeling blue or isolated. I have found volunteer work to be very helpful, especially registering people to vote. Another cliche`, but worth bearing in  mind, is that those of us with these issues need to get out of our own heads on a regular basis. Perhaps there is a creative outlet that would serve: knitting or crafts, music or singing, dance, acting, painting, learning a new language. Just taking a beginner class in something new is also helpful.  Keep us posted on how you do while hubby's away, ok?

Anita,  I have thinking about your post all day.  Loneliness is such a hard experience and I’ve appreciated reading all the kind responses.  Like Laura, there was a time in my life when I was alone for long stretches when my husband traveled for work.  Keeping busy really helped and volunteering at a hospital really helped me to put my worries and stresses in perspective.  Plus, I think there’s such satisfaction to be found in helping other people.  It really takes you out of yourself when you’re thinking about helping someone else.  I remember visiting a patient who had lived in the hospital for years after being abandoned by his family.  I saw him many, many times and he always had a smile on his face.  Always.  He could not move from the neck down.  He couldn’t do anything for himself, but he always greeted everyone with a smile and loving kindness emanated from him.  We all have gifts to share and I know you will find a way to share your gifts.

So we have been preparing for my son's surgery coming and it's hectic but we have been spending time with him and giving him the love he needs and deserves. What I'm worried about is the coming diseases everyone is talking about, I hope and pray nothing bad comes to my family anytime soon with everything going on. Right now it feels like baby steps to something great for my family to grow together. I wanna see this handsome little boy become a respectful, passionate adult who loves his community and planet. Thanks for all the support from all of you!

Thanks for the ideas. I have thought about volunteering. What I’ve wanted to do m really do, involves physical work, but even so I can’t right now because of back problems. I have several appts a week for body, mind, and soul. And now a newer puppy because of the loneliness keeps me home when not elsewhere.....until she stops biting wires, etc. And the problem seems to be worse in the evening and night. I’ve filled in a lot of time, I’ve just never done  anything like this. 14 days. Most I’ve done is 3.

Anita

Take each day as it comes, Anita.  Please let us know how it’s going.  Peace to you.

Laynara, thanks for the update!  Take care and let yourself be filled with peace and love.

Thanks so much! I will have another support group!

Anita

Anita, just know a lot of us have been where you are. We all share common concerns and anxieties and are learning or have learned how to work with and move through them. It's such a good sign that you're willing and able to do the work and learn new coping techniques.  Hugs to you and that little trouble making rascal of a puppy ?

Laynara, we're all surrounding you, your family and most of all that darling little precious son with love, care, and healing. Blessings to you all. ?

Anita - Thought of one more activity that might help. Focus on dog training with the new pup, and consider working on one of several tracks: Emotional Support Animal, Service Animal, Agility Competition. Both of my dogs are ESAs, and while it's not required that they be specifically trained, I recommend to everyone that they do so, because untrained ESAs make situations difficult for everyone else, and then rules get changed as a result.

Laynara - I'm getting the feeling all will be well. Holding you and yours in light.

Hi all! Following along, as usual, and wanted to update and ask you all for continued support as well as share an interesting thing that happened earlier this week.

Background: I have posted before on this thread about the difficult school year we had last year with our daughters (ages 9 and 11) for various reasons. We struggled with our parenting and did purse some counseling and mindfulness, which helped. We ended the school year on a better note and learned much about our own behavior/response to stress with the kids, etc. Hoping to take those lessons with us moving forward! Our girls go back to school next week, so I wanted to post to ask for any support, light, love that you can send our way that we can proceed in a more positive way this year and retain the lessons we have learned.

As for the interesting thing that happened earlier this week - I have always had a thing about dragonflies. I love seeing them and find them to be very special. I have researched their meaning a bit and know that they are a symbol of "change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life." 

So, my husband and I have been going for a walk in the evening when he gets home from work. This past Tuesday (the 21st, which happens to be a meaningful number for me - my bday is Sept. 21, our house number begins with 21 - long story about how we got this house...), I had been in the driveway pulling in our garbage bins when my husband got home. I paused to say hi as he got out of the car and as we were standing in the driveway, this beautiful, large, green dragonfly whizzed by. I was excited, as usual, when I spot them. But this one stopped and hovered directly in front of my face for a good 2 seconds and then went and hovered directly in front of my husband's face for a good 2 seconds. Then is buzzed around and out of sight. I was tickled and thought that was very cool. 

We proceeded on our walk and do a loop through the neighborhood. As we came around one stretch a couple of blocks from home, my husband noticed a big, green dragonfly on the sidewalk. It didn't seem to be able to fly, but no visible issues with the wings, etc. It was a windy day and we didn't want it to get squished, so we moved it to the grass, off of the sidewalk. I really wanted to take it home, but we had another loop to do. I figured if it was there when we got back, I would take it home. We came back around about 10 minutes later and it was still there, so we carefully gathered it up on a piece of bark and got it home. It was still alive, but could not fly. I took a ton of photos (I am an artist and was thrilled to see one up close, the colors, the details, the gorgeous stained-glass-like wings.) I finally left it on one of the cone flowers in our garden, thinking if it survived it could fly away, and if not, it would at least be sheltered a bit. It actually made it through the night and was still alive the next day. I gave it some water and moved it to a different spot in the garden. I went out for a while, and when I got back later in the day, it had finally died and was on its back in the garden. I kept it and want to preserve it (possibly in resin) - interestingly, it died in the most perfect position - wings spread, abdomen stretched out (not curled up.)

Anyway, long story to just say that I think it was a gift to me/us. Maybe it got our attention before the walk to say, hey, I am near the end - look for me later! Who knows, but I thought you all might find it interesting and/or have some insight for me. Either way, I see it as a beautiful gift and reminder to embrace change and transition. Hoping to hold that thought close as we proceed into a new school year.

P.S. Laynara - always thinking good thoughts for you and your son! And Anita - all the best to you as well as you adjust to your time by yourself. This group is an amazing one that I draw strength and grounding and focus from daily.

Sending you love & light! Sounds like you are already moving in the right direction ❤️

I'm asking all who read on here to send love, light, strength, focus and patience to the young man in this story from my life.

Trying to make a long story short and not sound egocentric.
I worked as a Speech Pathologist for over 20 years. I left the field in disgust in 2013 or so, to become a Chef instead. I loved it, but it was physically very demanding, and now I am on permanent disability (getting my SS money back before the gubmint eliminates it). I love studying languages and communication (makes sense). I had been studying Japanese, but the curricula here are not geared for adults, so I stopped. I decided it would be good to learn French, as it might be helpful in my immigration rights activism.

I signed up for French 101 at our local CC. On the first day, we had to get up and greet classmates in French. The third person I approached signed to me "I am deaf." So I wrote in his notebook "I'm a speech pathologist, don't know ASL but I think I can help."
He told me he is profoundly deaf, no hearing aids, no residual hearing. He does not speak. I was able to determine that his English language skills are excellent. Also found out that the professor has some ASL (is married to an interpreter, I think). He also told me that the office of student accessibility has denied ** illegally ** proper accommodations for the French class (he does not have the resources to sue). So the professor and I put our heads together and talked the deaf student into sticking with the class (he was feeling overwhelmed and like he might have to drop). I was able to develop an unofficial IEP (individual education plan). It involves me doing a lot of transcribing on my laptop and relaying of questions, modifying homework and exams, and facilitating access to class materials at no cost. The student agreed to the plan.

He is a good kid - wants to be a fashion designer and wants to study fashion in Paris. He works as a dishwasher at a fancy restaurant. The professor and I want so much for him to succeed! We are both worried, however, that he may drop the class - Aug 31 midnight is the deadline to drop - he says he's feeling overwhelmed, I'm telling him - dude, this is an easy way to earn 5 units! Just show up and we'll get you through, this professor will pass you!
Why am I sharing this? Because it reminds me WHY I went into speech pathology in the first place. It's exciting and rewarding and I love it. I'm grateful that being on disability gives me the time and money to pursue personal interests, and in this case it was fate that brought this student, professor, and myself together. It points to how messed up our healthcare and education systems are, and how many of us who go into helping professions end up burned out and angry as a result. I'm saying that when you know what your passion is, pursue it, outside the usual paths if need be. I'm also saying that anything any of us can do to lift others up, in any form, we need to do. Peace.

A wonderful story, Laura, bless you and all whose lives you touch. Bless the young man, the teacher and all whose lives they touch.

Normajean, we hear you, feel your heart,  understand your fears and join you as you meditate and head forward on your path as you journey with all of us, day by day, step by step.

You are never alone.

NormaJean, I see angels sitting around you in a circle giving you love and support.  It is so good that you reached out.  

Laura F— it warms my heart to read your story, how you are helping this man. And  we are all sending love and success to you and him and the professor.  You are doing the best work.  Wow. 

Quick update on my story:  the deadline to "drop" the class was Friday at midnight. The professor emailed me at 8am Saturday to say that our deaf friend is sticking with the class for the rest of the semester!! I reached out to the student (let's call him "H") via text. We met at a local cafe` to start homework that is due. Long story short, he ended up coming to my house for dinner that night. It turned out to be a madcap kind of evening, with people coming and going, etc. I'm glad I tend to cook too much food, because we ended up needing all of it! H is such a great young man, I was glad that he felt comfortable enough to fall asleep on the sofa while I cooked (with my chiweenie dog curled up on his chest, no less! - she is a bit slutty lol), and we had a lovely 4 way dinner conversation by using an iPad to write messages. I found out a lot of new info about H,  and we found we have a lot in common for people in two completely different generations. He's very interested in reiki, astrology, tarot, spirituality in general. He is a Leo, I am a Scorpio and his mother is a Scorpio. I have many Leo friends, and tend to get along best with Leos and Tauruses.  So now here's the funny part, before I share it, remember how my and H's interest in French is fairly new. I follow FreeWill Astrology, which is a fun horoscope site written by Rob Brezny. I love his horoscopes because they are so positive and proactive (which for my fellow Scorpios, so refreshing, am I right?).  Here is my horoscope for the current week, again full attribution and thanks to Mr.Brezny: (emphasis mine)

"If a man treats a life artistically, his brain is his heart," wrote Oscar Wilde. I'll translate that into a more complete version: "If a person of any gender treats life artistically, their brain is their heart." This truth will be especially applicable for you in the coming weeks. You'll be wise to treat your life artistically. You'll thrive by using your heart as your brain. So I advise you to wield your intelligence with love. Understand that your most incisive insights will come when you're feeling empathy and seeking intimacy. As you crystallize clear visions about the future, make sure they are generously suffused with ideas about how you and your people can enhance your joie de vivre.

LMAO !!  H has a great sense of humor, we both got a kick out of this, and I love it when The Universe has a sense of humor too.

Normajean - thanks for your post. You're not alone in the thoughts you're having. If you poke around on here, you will find many positive visions and messages, which may help.  I've gone into panic mode a few times over the last few years, and one of the other members here (RunestoneOne), very wisely advised me to re-organize my emergency supplies. Doing so doesn't prevent emergencies, but it helped me to focus on fears and worries and channel those into a proactive action. I'm not saying to re-organize supplies, necessarily, just saying try to latch on to ONE thing you can control in your life/environment, it really helps.