If you're looking for more such stories, consider reading Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Callanan and Patricia Kelley.
In it, hospice nurses share their observations of their patients' end of life. Nearly every single one saw family members (and some even the place beyond the veil) in the time preceding their passing. This was true regardless of age (i.e., not limited to elderly/dementia patients), reason for passing (i.e., not related to illnesses originating in the brain), and medication (ie, not the result of, say, morphine).
A fascinating - and comforting - read.
I just wanted to add that I was in the room when my mom finally passed. It was a little after midnight on an Easter Sunday. A few minutes after she'd passed I called my brother to let him know. He told me (years later) that after he hung up the phone with me he sat up in bed. All the lights were off, and out of the corner of his eye he saw a small light. It darted over right in front of him, and then disappeared. When he told me the story he said he knew it was our mom, stopping by to say goodbye. This is from someone who doesn't believe in an afterlife, or anything extra-worldly, but he "knew" the light was our mom.
There wasn't a lot left to be said between my mom and me, but I think she knew she needed one last minute with my brother, so she made her way a thousand miles to his bedroom to say one final so-long.
@sistermoon Thanks for the book reference - I have been fascinated by stories like this all my life.
And thank you all for sharing your experiences of your loved ones at the end. Because of my fascination with these last goodbyes, I was disappointed that I didn't have something like that when my Mom passed away (in 2019.) But thinking of it, I am convinced I had a meaningful experience the day before she died. I live about 4 hours away, so I wasn't able to be there regularly through her illness (she had cancer that was discovered that March and she only lasted about 6 weeks, dying in May.) So I was rather stressed the whole time, but the day before she died, it was a beautiful day here and I was rested and relaxed (so much so that I noted it to myself and was trying to savor it.)
I felt like baking and was making some cookies. We have some nice, large windows looking over our backyard from the kitchen and I love watching for birds. Well, I spotted two, beautiful scarlet tanagers that day. They stopped in the little pond area and stayed for a few minutes. I had only seen a scarlet tanager once before (they migrate through, so we don't see them often) and so I took note. It felt very sacred to me, and I was convinced, after the fact, that it was my Mom (and my Dad, who had passed 15 years earlier) stopped by to say goodbye. I haven't seen a tanager since.
My father passed the week I was slated to graduate from college. I had been home the weekend before and had a terrible cold, but the hospice nurse had told me if I wore a mask I could go in and sit with him. My father was always super active and the fact that he'd been bedridden for three months was weighing on him. I was able to get him into a hug and a standing position which he was extremely grateful for. I was able to say my goodbyes, not knowing it would be the next day that he passed, but knowing it would be "soon"
I was doing my last few days of student teaching at the time and had to return to my college town to teach my final lessons for observation. I was prepping for my first hour when I was suddenly overwhelmed with a bit of a chill and a feeling like something was leaving me. I assumed it was the cold because I'd been up and down for days. And 15 minutes into my first hour class (my mentor teacher was running errands) my old Nokia cell phone rang, I went to the hall and took the call, learned my father had passed, and went back into the classroom. The kids knew he was ill and they all did their best with me for the remainder of that hour. I finished the lesson, found my mentor and left.
I know what the chill and feeling of leaving was in hindsight, but oh was I so happy I'd had a chance to say my goodbyes the day before. My brother, who was always the more sensible and practical sibling, didn't want to see his dad in that state and missed his opportunity, a life moment he still regrets to this day.
It's also a testament to kids in general that they knew what I wasn't saying and did their best for me for the remainder of that class. The same thing happened 10 years later when I got the call that my wife was headed to the hospital to give birth to our twins - I had to wait for sub coverage and the kids too over my classroom for me while I sat silent and stone faced at my desk trying to piece together how much my life was going to change in a few hours :-)
I believe @Jeanne-Mayell also saw my father during our reading together this past spring. Oh how I want to have another reading! Perhaps once my musical is over and I get paid for that, I'll section some off for another reading.
Thank you for letting me "resurrect" this thread (pun slightly intended) These stories fill me with hope and wonder! Light and love to you all!
I posted this in another thread over a year ago, but I feel it's appropriate to share here.
Our sweet dog, Gracie passed away 3 years ago. Gracie was a mixed rescue pooch, about 3 years old (we think) when we adopted her, with very little known about her history. My strong sense was that she was neglected, most likely abused, and dumped by the side of the road. She was discovered with a litter of pups when they were all picked up by a NC pound. A rescue group took the pups but unbelievably, left Gracie at the pound to be euthanized. Thankfully another group came to Gracie’s rescue and transported her to Virginia. When we adopted Gracie, she was living with her foster mom, Lee, for about 6 weeks.
Gracie was initially stand-offish and depressed when she came to live with us. She found shelter in her crate, but joined us on the sofa and for walks. She slowly began “talking.” Trust was slowly developing. At that time Gracie enjoyed going outside, but only when we accompanied her. I think Gracie was afraid she would be abandoned again.
About two months after Gracie was with us, she began acting strangely. She suddenly wanted to remain outside, only coming into the house to eat. We even had to coax Gracie to come in at bedtime. When she began her odd behavior, we thought Gracie had run away because at first we couldn’t locate her. We discovered Gracie inside a hole she had dug for herself, in a small, isolated wooded area of our backyard. Each time we let her out she would return to that hole. After about 4 days of her perplexing behavior, we decided to call our vet and see what he thought was going on. Before we had a chance to contact him, we received a call from Crystal, the director of the rescue group from where we had adopted Gracie. Crystal told us that Lee, Gracie’s foster mom, had passed away in her sleep from an aneurysm. It was quite shocking, especially since Lee was only 23 years old. I then asked, “when did Lee die?” Crystal responded, “Monday morning.” It immediately occurred to us that Monday was the first day Gracie had begun her odd behavior. Our dear, sweet Gracie knew what had happened to Lee, her first real human mom and probably the first person who had ever consistently shown Gracie kindness and pure love. Gracie was in mourning.
Once we understood the situation, we stopped worrying and let Gracie be. After about a day or so, she rejoined our family. Over time she loved going outside for walks, to chase squirrels or protect her turf, but she also loved spending equal time with us, inside our home. We also made yearly trips to the beach, where Gracie loved to surf fish with us. And over the next 11 years, she blossomed. Gracie passed away from cancer and we buried her ashes with a stone marker under her favorite, huge sycamore tree, where she spent hours patrolling for squirrels. It comforts me to think that Lee was there to greet Gracie when she passed on. And Gracie will be there, waiting to greet us, when our time comes.
@deetoo I have tears in my eyes after reading your beautiful story. How lucky you and your family were to have Gracie, and how lucky she was to have all of you.
More about our canine companion, Gracie. As I mentioned in my earlier post, Gracie passed away 3 years ago. I felt her spirit the moment that her body left this earth.
After we left the vet’s office and arrived at our empty house, and I saw Gracie's ratty comforter by our front door, I immediately felt goosebumps. Her spirit energy was so strong that it actually made me dizzy. Over the next week she would follow me around the house from room to room, walking closely behind me (she had some herder in her). Gracie’s presence gradually weakened over that next week, until she was gone. I laughed and told my husband, “Gracie left because she couldn't find any treats!” That dog had a two-track mind -- squirrel chasing and food.
Funny story: during this period when we were mourning and I still felt her presence, if I began sobbing from the loss, Gracie would disappear. In her human form, Gracie was no Lassie. I've often said that if I were Timmy and had fallen down the well, I'd still be down there. She was not a dog to comfort you when you cried and, in fact, would leave the room. So whenever I cried over Gracie's passing and her spirit suddenly disappeared on me, I remembered that – she was being true to herself! I’d laugh out loud, and when I felt lighter, Gracie’s spirit would return, as if to say “okay, glad that’s over with!” After about a week Gracie must have crossed rainbow bridge, because I no longer felt her around. That made me sad, but our little girl had to move on.
Many months later, I blurted out to my husband, “Gracie has reincarnated.” I felt her physical presence on this earth. I prayed that she was happy and well cared for.
The entire experience was a surprise, especially since this was the first time I lived with a furry companion. I am grateful for the blessing.
More about our canine companion, Grace. As I mentioned in my earlier post, Gracie passed away 3 years ago. I felt her spirit the moment that her body left this earth.
After we left the vet’s office and arrived at our empty house, and I saw Gracie's ratty comforter by our front door, I immediately felt goosebumps. Her spirit energy was so strong that it actually made me dizzy. Over the next week she would follow me around the house from room to room, walking closely behind me (she had some herder in her). Gracie’s presence gradually weakened over that next week, until she was gone...
Dear Deetoo, thank you for sharing your deep feelings about losing Gracie. I see how much you both loved her, and felt her loss, especially as you saw her little ragged doggie bed. I had a similar experience when our little Bichon Sandy passed. The extent of our grief caught us by surprise. It was just unbearable. We dug a grave and put up a stone at the very back of our yard. Afterwards I went back to the grave filled with so much grief, and just a few feet away was a deer. Oh I know that deer can just stand and stare at you, but we hadn't seen a deer behind out house in a few years. This one just stood and stared at me longer than any other ever had. Somehow my connection to this animal opened my connection to my departed dog. As the deer stared at me, I knew Sandy was saying goodbye to me.
Posted by @jeanne-mayell,
Afterwards I went back to the grave filled with so much grief, and just a few feet away was a deer ... This one just stood and stared at me longer than any other ever had. Somehow my connection to this animal opened my connection to my departed dog. As the deer stared at me, I knew Sandy was saying goodbye to me.
@jeanne-mayell, what a beautiful story. This gave me goosebumps! Dear Sandy's sweet, yet powerful farewell. Thank you for sharing.
I’ve had a couple of after life experiences recently but this was my favorite: I took my half brother who is also adopted back to meet our birth father and other half brother in September. his other adopted sister went with us. On the second to last day, I expressed a desire to go to the cemetery to pay our respects to our biological grandparents. Our brother who lives in Massachusetts thought he knew where the grandparents were buried but we couldn’t find the tombstone. We left Peter’s other sister in the car and it was turned off. We spread out after awhile and I called our cousin on the phone to come help. I said, “Well we can’t find you. Thanks for the Dna” my other bio brother Garry was south of me and he asked for a sign. Right about then, the Car started blasting Steely Dan’s “Hey Nineteen” song. Peter’s sister came bolting out of the car shouting “time to go!” I thought she was just cranky and had turned the radio on, but nope. So my cousin pulls up and shows us the tombstone is right behind the other side of the car!!
Everyone else was freaked out our grandmother chose to come forward in that way, but I thought it was super cool. She appeared twice to our father when she passed, so I know it was her