Moving some posts over to here because of a conversation on the topic of how we can respond to public figures we do not like, so that we don't get drawn down into the pit of negativity. Please weigh in! My goal is not to shame each other. I have made so many mistakes if going low when they go low, so I welcome ideas on this topic. Going high when they go low does not mean becoming soft or not standing up to injustice, prejudice, or negativity. To me, it means focusing on the words and behaviors I don't like rather than generalizing my disgust, if you want to call it that, to their looks, their accent, their state or country, or anything larger than the very words and actions of the offensive person. That's my view. What is yours?
@deetoo oh believe me Ms Crossfit "wrestles in the mud" a lot...there is an old Southern saying " Don't wrestle with pigs, you'll just get muddy and the pigs like it" She is notorious for multiple affairs and her Crossfit craziness as well as other attention grabbing behaviors. That is what it is all about with her.. the attention and the notoriety.
@journeywithme2. She is actively and intentionally working to be Trump Part II.
Well, as DUMP has a big horses Patute and Q-Anon Barbie (MTG) has a horses face it may just come to be. And if things don't quite work out for her in that endeavor, she could run in the Preakness next year! Always something to look forward to with crackpot Margie.
@mickiemac now that made me laugh and feel nauseous at the same time! No small feat. ??
How far will outrageous, disgusting behavior take you? I hope it takes her back to Milledgeville, Georgia and soon.
Dear beautiful gentle people: I'd like to weigh in on recent references we've made about Marjorie Taylor Greene (MTG) and other people we don't like. -- too many to name over the last few years. I too can't stand what she says. Her utterances and actions make my blood boil.
But when we make references to her physical appearance, my cringe meter goes up, and I want to stop and think about all the things I've said or posted about people whose statements and policies I don't like, and take myself to a higher place.
I've been guilty of saying and posting awful things about people. And I want to stop that.
The problem is that when I am repulsed by their behavior, I also feel repulsed by their looks. I don't even like the state they live in or the part of the country they come from. Or the faith they embrace. I start generalizing, stereotyping, and in some ways, I'm as low as I think they are. Now I'm not saying that is what happened today in this thread, not at all. But it got me thinking about all the thoughts and words I've expressed as recent as this week about people whose politics I consider to be horrid.
So to go high, I want to confine my displeasure to what they say and do, not how they look or where they live. I am even trying not to assume I know what motivates them. How do I know what they really feel inside that makes them say things abhorrent to me.
I am asking that we do our best to go high, no matter how low they go. That we do our best to confine our disgust to what they say and what they do, rather than their appearance, their state or region or country, or even their very selves. Nor to assume they are evil, when we don't even know their inner lives.
Any thoughts will be appreciated!
P.S. please do not feel I am judging any of you here, any more than I have judged myself. Because no one here has posted anything I haven't thought or said myself. I just want to go higher, and I hope you will come along with me.
@jeanne-mayell. I appreciate your thoughts and know I have written things about the former guy in the heat of the moment that were not from my higher self. Today, I find myself aggravated by the former guy’s sycophants and followers. It’s gotten to the point where I, too, blame regions of the country for blindly believing the big lie, for racism and for voter suppression. However, if we attack these people on a personal level or make derogatory comments, that damages our own spirits. That hinders us from achieving the higher vibration of loving kindness. We have a choice in how we respond to these people who are damaging our country and my intuition says we have more power against them by holding ourselves to a higher standard.
@lowtide, regarding your comment that you saw a Native American warrior in MTG's countenance, I'm willing to remove it as you have requested, but it doesn't seem offensive at all. I thought you were intuiting something from looking at her face, not denigrating her appearance. I thought you were seeing a strength in her - a warrior. Still, if you say the word, I will delete it.
As for anyone feeling shamed by my comment, I deeply apologize and did not mean to do that. As I wrote, I am trying to rise every day in how I respond to adversaries. I have learned from people here and elsewhere who model it, and I hope we can rise together.
Since I happen to live in one of the states that has a state legislature trying to undo the state presidential election, has put "ninjas" uncharge of finding bamboo on ballots and some ridiculous politicians who think they are above the law, I appreciate the fact that you are trying to go higher with the energy you both (and others) are sending out in our direction.
It is difficult to live here some days without being exasperated. We have 2 democratic Senators. (Well, 1.5 since Sinema is one and she really marches to the beat of her own drummer and in her own reality, she is more of an independent really.) I have yet to be represent by a reputable congressional leader in the 27 years I have lived here either.
What we and other states like us probably need more of is positive energy being thrown our way. We are in need of enlightenment for all, strong voting rights legislation, social justice, good school systems and proper educational funding, more empathy towards all people, accountability, and balance.
This is not to say I am not appalled by the actions of many in my state. I do feel some of our residents are reachable, it just will take time. I believe that we are headed in a more positive direction. We will eventually get there, we are just wading through a bunch of icky darkness to get to the light. It sucks!
PS. Going high does not mean thinking everything is A-OK and being blind to reality. Things can be called out for what they are, just in a way which is more caring and more removed from fear, hate and drama.
P.S.S. I recently had a friend from another state ask me what I am going to do about Sinema. I am still trying to figure out what to do about my neighbors who still have Trump flags in their yards. Sigh. I might write Sinema a letter in the near future. I just don't know what I will say, YET. Probably a hand written letter to start with and beginning with some things I feel she is doing well for what it is worth.
For what it is worth, I also didn't see anything disparaging with what you wrote. I saw it similarly to what Jeanne said.
MTG does have power (and strength) and does not use her gifts wisely. In my opinion, she uses them for her own purpose instead of for the higher and greater good.
Have been exhausted since 2016. 15 minutes of the news and social media reduce me to single syllable words. So I flipped the channel a couple of weeks ago and binged The Great British Baking Show. After a week of observing creativity, camaraderie and kindness, my joy and enthusiasm had returned. I think I’m done allowing anything to deplete that joy. I’m getting a visual of the final scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The Grinch has taken everything from everyone, yet the town was happily gathered around the Christmas Tree holding hands and singing. Perhaps these individual vibrations of joy will begin raising the vibration of the collective.
We have to resist becoming that which we dislike/despise/detest, because that's what bad actors want for their adversaries -- to have them debase themselves. But "going high" can be really hard. And when people behave in an ugly manner it's hard not to conflate their appearance with their behavior when rendering criticism. Even pretty people appear ugly when they behave that way.
For whatever it's worth, plenty of power brokers give me the creeps, or a general sense of dread. MTG isn't one of them. I see her as a pitiful figure. If anyone in her family loved her they'd stage an intervention. How sad to have lived as many years as she has and learned so little. She feels like a nobody and that feeling has made her render herself a nobody. When I'm feeling the most centered I feel sorry for her, but I mostly don't pay her too much attention. She's the girl who didn't have any friends and didn't get any attention. Now she has it, but in all the wrong ways. Her moment in the sun won't last long.
We can try to have compassion for her, but also for ourselves, when we fall short of our own standards. This forum is the best place, especially for the latter.
@theungamer -- Gilmore Girls repeats do the trick for me, but I may check out the Great British Baking Show.
A peaceful Monday to all. xoxo
Intrigued by the "go high" discussions. I am a Texan, through and through. Lived 50 of my 53 years in the Lone Star State (a couple of years as a kid, and approaching two years since expatriating to North Carolina). So, I pay attention to the doings in my old stomping grounds.
Three decades of insanity in state politics (following more than a century of same, leading up to a brief shining light under Ann Richards) have left me more than capable of slinging mud with the best of 'em. It's part of why I left -- slinging mud doesn't do much more than give you an endorphin rush, and leave you with muddy hands.
Interesting, though, that I landed in the state where Trump gives his first major speech in months, and practically begs the other side to start slinging mud again. Je refuse, M. Grincheuse Pantalon, Je refuse.
I have the capacity to be incredibly snarky, sarcastic, and foul-mouthed when I get frustrated. It can shock people-- like a harmless little guinea pig unexpectedly morphing into a raging cartoon Tasmanian Devil.
About 30 years ago I had some experiences where I got the "cosmic" message that I needed to temper that. And later when I had a child, I dialed it back even more so as not to set a bad example. Every day, I try to see things from all sides and to see the spirit underlying the so-called "bad" person. I try to break the cycle of pain, frustration and anger. It can be incredibly difficult. But I think-- no, I KNOW-- this is the only way to elevate the consciousness of the human race. One person, by one person by another, a little bit of kindness can spread and multiply. Kind of like a virus. ? But a good one.
...slinging mud doesn't do much more than give you an endorphin rush, and leave you with muddy hands.--@walden-ponderer
We have to resist becoming that which we dislike/despise/detest, because that's what bad actors want for their adversaries -- to have them debase themselves.@lynnventura
... "going high" can be really hard. And when people behave in an ugly manner it's hard not to conflate their appearance with their behavior when rendering criticism. Even pretty people appear ugly when they behave that way.@lynnventura
We can try to have compassion for her, but also for ourselves, when we fall short of our own standards. @lynnventura
I’m getting a visual of the final scene in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. The Grinch has taken everything from everyone, yet the town was happily gathered around the Christmas Tree holding hands and singing. Perhaps these individual vibrations of joy will begin raising the vibration of the collective. - @theungamer
Going high does not mean thinking everything is A-OK and being blind to reality. Things can be called out for what they are, just in a way which is more caring and more removed from fear, hate and drama. @lovendures
if we attack these people on a personal level or make derogatory comments, that damages our own spirits. That hinders us from achieving the higher vibration of loving kindness. We have a choice in how we respond to these people who are damaging our country and my intuition says we have more power against them by holding ourselves to a higher standard. -- @bluebelle
@ana @jeanne-mayell @deetoo @baba @bluebelle. This is a very meaningful discussion for me. I relate personally to Iridium's work on her snarkiness. (Me too.) I've wrestled with how to handle what we've all seen from MTG to Trump to friends who drool all over him. After the election, I cut way back on watching and reading the news for the sake of my spirit, but I still see enough. I, too, watch something silly or light in late evening so I don't take it to bed. But, I grapple with how to hold someone accountable without "judgement." My two standbys are to pray that they see the light and find the courage to do the right thing, AND to ask that their power to do harm or to do evil is bound. I had a meditation vision once and saw Trump bound to a telephone pole at the edge of a farm (field). His hands were tied behind him. He wore his white golf shirt and red Maga cap. He looked around, but there was absolutely no one in sight. This discussion made me remember that and I'm wondering if it showed his current isolation. Anyway, I'm torn between trying to find compassion for the FACT that he's mentally ill and according to Psychiatrist Dodes, he truly believes his own lies and delusions. And, the fact that he's caused so much damage to our country including the CoVid deaths of 400,000 (according to experts). The reports of his glee as Capitol Police Officers were beaten and the terrorists cried for Pence to be hung. All I know is, I do want him brought to justice along with the people who enabled him even though they knew he was mentally unbalanced. Anyway, that's my basic question: how do we confront destructive people and, yet, have compassion if they are ill or deluded?
@jeanne-mayell, I really welcome this topic of discussion and appreciate everyone’s contributions to it. A lot of food for thought. We’re all works in progress, aren’t we?
I can relate to so much that has been shared here. With everything that’s been happening politically, I’ve been mad as a hornet lately. @ana, I’m right there with you with the snarky, sarcastic, foul mouth. I usually reserve such outbursts for my husband and a few friends to hear, but occasionally I’ve unleashed some of it on my physical therapist’s table. (Body work can sometimes bring that out in me.) I didn’t expect that everyone would join hands and sing in rosy-eyed unity after the 45th's departure, but what we’re experiencing now with the racism, voter suppression and lack of accountability for the January 6 insurrection, coming from those people in higher office who know better, is a nightmare. I am angry, and in my darkest moments, I am frightened for where we might be headed.
I do understand that people are really angry and repulsed by some of those currently in power, especially if they spend their time lying, dehumanizing others and endangering lives. So it's that feeling "they're fair game." But if we respond in kind, we become the dehumanizers. The moment we make that choice, it blocks the light. And we could use all the light we can get.
I do consider myself fortunate because I have the luxury of living in a very blue county of a light blue state. When I read posts by those of you who live in the middle of T**** country, I am astounded by your resilience, patience, wisdom, and humor. I don’t know how I’d feel, or how I’d behave, if I were in your shoes. So for me it might be a little easier at times to take the high road because, for the most part, I live in a cocoon of like-minded people. But there are occasions when I’ve had my moments – by comments made by a relative, or surprise encounters with some people who cross my path. When such exchanges occur, there’s sometimes a tightening in my chest with an internal smirk or eyeroll and a flushed face – and then my wall of resistance comes crashing down around me. I don’t see them, I don’t hear them, and I don’t want to be around them. I figure that since I’m a senior and I’m already exhausted for health reasons, trying to engage in conversation with someone who has bought into the lies and who holds such opposing, and in my opinion, dangerous views of our world is not worth my time and effort.
But then, what do I with that? Are they really not worth my time and effort? I say that I want to live in a world that is inclusive, so shouldn’t that include them? We’re all connected, aren’t we? And how do we make that connection?
There are no easy answers. This is hard stuff. We make some of it up as we go along. A few days ago I read a post from @barry under The Great Turning… thread. He shared a personal experience of facing someone with appalling and nonsensical political views, and what was revealed to Barry when he kept his heart opened:
Then something funny happened. Out of the blue, he opened up and began telling me how much he missed his mother, what a good woman she had been, and how his alcoholic father had inflicted so much damage on his family and his childhood. He also told me he didn’t really have any friends and he considered me a friend. It didn’t change his politics but it opened a door, planted a seed. Transmuted some of his darkness into light. I think that’s part of what we have to do.
* * *
Helping them won’t necessarily change them like we would like, but it changes the balance of light within them. It gives them a piece of light they didn't have. That spark might even start the process of opening their hearts. The turning isn't an event that will happen, it’s something we will create. We have to keep creating it.
* * *
All we can do is the best we are able with what we have. When you wish you had someone who stood up for you and didn't, wanting to be heard, those are promises of what I see in the great turning. (and a big part of what motivates me personally as well - I want to be that person I didn't have when I needed it most.)
As @ana wisely stated,
“a little bit of kindness can spread and multiply. Kind of like a virus. ? But a good one.”