Hurray, hurray,hurray.
I'm a light worker (or else I wouldn't be on this forum), as we all are...but as long as I keep showing up, I will get better.
Not super dopey or even super mopey. You're one of our own kind. ?
You just made my day. Seriously.
I have to remind myself on a continual basis that it's ok for me to admit when I'm feeling down or depressed or "remote" from people. We are all human beings who need love and kindness. Being a light worker and giving of oneself one day, but the next day needing help is ok for all of us.
Seeing the brilliant lights of people on this site sometimes has me in awe. I admire you for what you wrote and ultimately did by "showing up". It's more than many people have done and kudos and love to you!
“I want to stay here more." And I didn't necessarily mean the event, but on Earth.
At least I showed up. I need to keep showing up. @pacosurfer
You made me think of all of the beautiful, exhilarating experiences I have left in my life, and they are open to me because, yes, I am the author of my own novel, constantly seeking my heart's desires. @coyote
[T]he only thing that kept me from jumping off the GWB in my younger days was the traffic on the Cross Bronx. @laura-f
From "If you need support, understanding ..." thread ...
I have discovered I am an introvert that needs people a lot. Without a certain amount of connection with others, I get painfully depressed. @Anita
@pacosurfer, thank you for opening this topic and for your courageous post. And to all of you brave, wise, and wonderful souls – thank you for sharing so much of your personal journeys in these forum pages.
In my own life, I’ve discovered that human connection is really important. For a few decades I considered myself a "failed extrovert." I know ... sounds nutty. I couldn't reconcile my strong need for human connection with my introversion, so I turned it against myself. The fact is, I didn't want to be who I suspected I really was. I always felt like didn’t belong; like I was from another planet. So I tried to fit in but … too much work! Eventually I stopped showing up for life, which wasn’t good for me or anyone. I got some help, regrouped and let my quirky light shine through, little by little. My sense of self became stronger, even as I became saddled with chronic health problems. But there was some hidden grace in stripping myself down to the bare essentials. And that sense of self has gotten even better with my advancing age. (Translation: I believe I am genuinely kinder, while not giving a rats ass about speaking my mind.) I’ve even learned to embrace my inner crazy … where you can sometimes find hidden nuggets of wisdom.
I just returned from a week’s vacation at the beautiful NC beaches. No matter what happens in the course of my day, life goes on. Being by the magnificent ocean brings me home to that knowledge. Lots of time for self-reflection. Shortly after I arrived home a friend emailed me a Youtube clip of the song, “Crazy” by Gnarls Barkley. There was no real purpose behind her emailing it to me, but it seems to be what I needed to hear at that moment. I’ve always loved the song and had forgotten about it. I don’t know the original meaning behind the lyrics, but that’s the beauty of art – it’s an emotional response and open to interpretation. To me the song speaks to the largess of my inner world, and how it often doesn’t fit within our crazy society … but then again, maybe it does. There is the larger, universal knowledge – but also the knowledge we acquire on our individual paths. I know that most of you can relate to this feeling. So we should take what we know to be true and live our life as a deliberate, creative act. And hopefully, have some fun doing it! Through that process, we may uncover how powerful and extraordinary we are.
I’ve attached two versions of “Crazy”: the original with printed lyrics; and a slower, more recent live performance:
Today during my break, I saw a few individuals looking at me, and I know they were questioning whether I was a man or woman. I heard some comment they made about my hair being really short.
And I kept thinking, "Keep Showing Up." That's all I have to do.
It could be they meant no harm, but it's something I am always fearful of, particularly when using the restroom. What scares me the most of going out is using the restroom. I have a vagina. I always had one. I am using the restroom that is made for me. And it's so hard for me to keep showing up, even just by having to pee. I worry about going to a ball game, where there may be more "unkind" people. At least I work at a hospital and a college, where I feel pretty safe. But it still scares me. I just want to pee. I don't want to hurt anyone.
Yet this is something that I have to worry about. But I will keep showing up. While I don't belong to this planet, I'm here. So I have a right to be here, even at my weight or my appearance. I have a right to keep walking on a sidewalk without having to get out of the way of someone coming towards my direction. I have a right to take up space. I deserve to be here. I need to keep showing up. Even if someone makes a remark, or looks at me like I'm a weirdo.
I think that's all I have to do in my entire life. Just keep showing up.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You give me courage and determination in continuing on my journey. I'm having a really louzy day and by telling me all the things that you do, through huge difficulties, it helps me, motivates me. So thank you for the smile today...
@pacosurfer, your post really touched my heart. What a powerful presence of spirit. Thank you for showing up! You've helped me more than you know.
...something I am always fearful of, particularly when using the restroom. What scares me the most of going out is using the restroom.
...
I just want to pee. I don't want to hurt anyone.
I think we really only need two bathrooms: one for people who wash their hands, and one for people who don't!
peace & love to you
"I think we really only need two bathrooms: one for people who wash their hands, and one for people who don't!"
I laughed so hard but then I thought.. wait a minute! I need a further addendum for bathroom identifications.
One for people who wash their hands and hit the toilet and one who don't wash their hands and miss the toilet!
I hate wet toilet seats and slip and slide t.p. laden floors ?