If you need support, understanding, and love, let us know here.

@laura-f

I started sneezing and coughing in January. The pandemic hadn't reached us yet so I thought it was that "winter cold" that hit a number of us with the verging on being asthma kind of virus. Never got to that stage but has yet to go away. 

I has severe allergies develop in the 80s. Miserable ceaseless hayfever and over sensitivity to any and all antihistamines unavailable back then (or even now) turned me into a zombie who never slept just hallucinated.

Got in under control while having long term 3x/week acupuncture for being unable to walk from chronic pain and that eased but the allergies I'd never mentioned totally disappeared!   

Realized they were back. And i am apparently allergic to our newest cat we took in after he was abandoned. Long bushy thick fur! He'd started sleeping by me and it was that lovely fur!

But the pandemic had hit before I put it all together. Hard to think during allergy attacks!

I was checking in on my self daily...do i have the big virus or not? Oooh those naughty monkey minds that eat around the edges of logical thinking. The old horse or zebra hoof beats are always there in the subconscious! 

Still sneezing but now i only worry about running out of Kleenex and having more laundry to do from too many places i might have to wipe with rags ?

Hang in there. You are not alone in #crazytown ?

@lovendures

I just now was able to see and absorb your note about James (I took a weekend off of technology). My heart and healing light are being sent to James and your family!  I will meditate and send as much love and light today as I can. 

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ? ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

@ghandigirl and @laynara

I will send love and healing light to your mom and Laynara's Fiance too! I intend on sending extra healing light to them on Wednesday during the meditation too. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ? ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

I know it's a big ask and I'm sorry if it's distressing, but I need guidance after that George Pell case, as it opens up my old wounds to the point that I stop believing everything all together. This is more or less made me lose all the motivation and energy for life, to the point I don't even care if I die from covid at all.

My life has been driven by wanting to become some sort of knight who fights under the name of justice. Namely being a barrister. The problem is though that I've been hurt by the injustice several times in my life. Not only I was not given the closure I need it, but people faunted in front of me that they got away with their ill gotten gains. I cannot talk about the details as it's too trumatic for me to retell it. Again, this made me feel lost again, I'm not sure I ever get out of this tunnel.

Will there be a way for me to believe in justice again? I also fear after this, people would want to hurt the good judges in Victoria, replacing with people who are nothing but a bunch of crooks in fancy robes. Will they be alright too?

I'm sorry about this.

@goldstone

I am so sorry the George Pell case has brought up such deep emotions for you, especially at this time. 

When trust has been broken repeated, it can be difficult to feel safe and secure, even deeply loved.

Think of this time right now as a revealing of how deep the darkness is in our society.  But remember, the light is there and it is helping in the revealing.  We can't have the change we want until we are truly aware of how deep the dark rivers flow.   

Light is there.  There are more light workers than the opposite.  Have hope that the highest and greatest good will ultimately happen.

May I suggest spending 10 minutes on Jeanne's guided meditation today or as soon as you have time.  I think it may be very helpful for you right now.  

Holding you in love and kindness Goldstone.

@Goldstone I’m so sorry to hear that the injustice that was done by releasing Cardinal Pell and overturning his conviction is having such a negative effect on you. I imagine it is like being traumatized again. Know that I will be thinking of you and sending you light. The world definitely doesn’t always make sense right now. However, I believe that Pell will pay a karmic debt for his bad deeds. Please take care of yourself and take a break from the news. 

@lovendures, thank you for the update on James.  I am glad to hear that some of his stats have stabilized.  I will continue to pray for James' healing, and he and his family will be in my meditation tonight.

Last night Rachel Maddow interviewed David Lat, the attorney who founded the website Above the Law.  Lat was very sick with the coronavirus and on a ventilator for about a week.  He is now recovering and was discharged from the hospital on April 2nd.   I tried to find Rachel's interview online, but can't find it anywhere.  Here is a link to another interview with Lat on April 1st when he was still in the hospital.

https://www.law.com/newyorklawjournal/2020/04/01/how-grateful-david-lat-eyeing-hospital-discharge-is-contributing-to-covid-19-research/

Hello

I am new here but I found myself on this website (as I often do when the world is going crazy) and I found this forum.

I hope it’s not too much to ask since I don’t know all of you, but I need some positive vibes for my cat Bubble. He is 8 years old and he has had bouts of anxiety twice now since we moved to FL 8 months ago. His anxiety manifests in physical ways like not being able to pee and having blood in his stool from pushing too hard. sorry for the TMI

Bubble is my ‘son’. Even tho we have 5 cats, this animal is my moon and sun. We can almost speak to each other. When he gets this anxiety, it’s like our communication cord is broken and I can’t reach him. It’s scary, and I don’t know what to do. He has been taken to the vet numerous times to make sure there is nothing medically wrong, and we have treated whatever we *think the problem is, but I know it’s something else and I can’t hear him when he gets like this. I reassure him and love him, but my own anxiety comes thru and I think that makes it more confusing for him. 

Sorry for the loooong post...every time he gets this way, I think I’m going to lose him

@serakat

I am sure your vet checked the urine for diabetes but just in case wanted to reach out. My MaineCoon cat had diabetes. Before diagnosis she would look at me and cry when going in litter box . Vet checked for that and we gave her shots insulin. She lived for many years after. I am not a vet but I know animals very well. Sending light to you and kitty.

THIS POST IS FOR ANYONE SUFFERING FROM TRAUMA

Here is what I have come to know: Life Isn't Fair.

I am not being glib. A major portion of my stress is feeling like I have been unfairly served. I tend to think and say things like, "I didn't/don't deserve this." 

Which is true. No one deserves negative things. And sometimes things do work out in a way that aligns for the greater good. At my most cynical I feel like it's just an isolated happy accident, and it won't last.

I too have thought that exiting now from covid might at least still the outrage, anger, hurt, and confusion that I feel. That I think everyone on this forum feels. It would force me into Peace or something. But maybe it wouldn't. Maybe at the end, we are meant to look back and reflect on what we loved, who we loved, and most especially, how we loved. And loved ourselves first and foremost. Something few seem to know how to do and I want to learn how tomaster self love and forgiveness before I go. 

Here is what i have come to believe, especially in these dark days that feel like they have a number for some of us: EVEN IF LIFE IS UNFAIR AND JUST SUCKS 

I can still be happy. I can still choose in each new moment to focus on this moment and meet it with joy. 

And the thought that is driving me to this higher place of reverence for my life, for my self and for this world is that if this is my very last day here, will it be a day filled with joy, love, laughter, and healing or will it be a day of continued self denigration and regret over past events? These experiences in our pasts  are now just shadows and don't need us to grant them anymore power to hurt us, as they already do tend to make us ache residually on anniversary dates, and with memories of fairer times.

And those residual memories hold that pain, frozen. I ruminate on the past and it incapacitates me, and worse, lowers my immune system's ability to heal and protect me. I begin to feel that hopelessness again and emotionally I go backwards in time and it is raw and unforgiving and keeps me up at night.

So for me, my choice is to choose peace and joy. I thrive on looking to underline, and seek out the silver linings. And when life isn't fair and it reminds you of every single time it just wasn't fair and you had no control, and your old wounds feel fresh and stifling, remember then you are a precioius soul and you are here for a reason. 

A yoga teacher I knew said it best, "Every breath is a privilege." Keep the Faith. We all move beckwards in memory. I was taught to say out loud, "That is over." Those three words hold a lot of power. 

I am happy to hear of all the positive developments with James' condition.

I am sending out a white light with a pink overwash for his lungs. I am getting a peaceful feeling associated with his name. 

@ghandigirl

ruminating is the hardest thing to let go of; it also is the proverbial cliff that turns out to be a step.  

When I was going through a particularly vile personal situation, someone observed I think fast, and that I needed to slow down and enjoy the time and space where I was.  It was said much more eloquently and in a way that got through to me.  I did then work on that, and I remember one day when everything did slow down around me, and I enjoyed the beauty of what was around me. In a real way, I came to understand to the fullest both the literal and deeper meanings of slowing down to smell the roses.   After that moment, I have found it more natural to not ruminate on many things at a personal level, and some of the topics that have come out lately for people I can relate to, and once upon a time, seeing them would be like ripping off a scab.  Not now.   

I know people that ruminated their entire life on something, and I see it as a life lost.  

I also know all too well things related to Pell, for example, can have an ugly habit of popping up like an unwanted guest without any reason even when there is every reason to think things have been reconciled. 

All I know for sure is these events, no matter how hurtful are not what makes our whole, they are a part of who we are though, part of our fabric. 

I sense for me a weight lifting on my shoulders as I think of you, and it's a peaceful feeling.    

@serakat

Definitely get that cat to a vet asap. I think you've got things flipped a bit - he probably is getting anxious because he doesn't feel well. Blood in stools and straining is not normal. He may need a change in diet and either medicine or supplements.  I'm not a vet, but I know you can give cats small doses of Vitamin C (<50mg), it can help them with these kinds of issues. It sounds to me like your cat has crystals in their bladder and/or kidney. Look into it. I have a cat who I went around in circles with many vets before getting her a diagnosis at the age of 11 of esonophilic granuloma - essentially severe allergies causing autoimmune disease. Happy to keep a good thought for you both, but I think you need more science on this one, you may want to look for a vet specialist - try Internal Medicine first. Sometimes regular vets miss something a specialist can hone in on.

@jackofhearts

Wow.

Posted by: @jackofhearts

ruminating is the hardest thing to let go of; it also is the proverbial cliff that turns out to be a step.  

Thank you for this. 

Posted by: @jackofhearts

I sense for me a weight lifting on my shoulders as I think of you, and it's a peaceful feeling.    

Thanks for this too Jack. 

I am having a terrible time of it. The social distancing is awful. And last night my partner got so angry with me after she hugged a neighbor, a guy about 23, who is not taking this virus seriously. He came over to give Harriet a hug for her birthday. I was flabbergasted that she went up to him for that hug! He has said he doesn’t care if he gets it or dies or causes family members to die. He has a major chip on his shoulder and makes very bad choices that have gotten him in trouble. 
I insisted a Harriet take a shower and wash her clothes. I was burning up inside wondering why she did that when it meant we need to be kept more distant, esp since I’m going on 69 and take an immunosuppressant. 
she seemed furious at me and it wasn’t till later Tharp she wrote she feels ashamed to be alive and that I won’t forgive her. But she never apologized. I talked very nicely to her and how this social distancing has been awful. She put on a mask and I sat with her watching tv, but she went to bed early, saying she was too depressed. 
we sleep in separate rooms cuz of the dogs and snoring. But she left the house early with her flutes and laptop. 
she won’t answer my phone calls or text messages. I have major abandonment fears and she’s been gone without a word for many hours. I’ve been cleaning house but my stomach is tighter and I’m getting more anxious by the moment. I don’t know why she would have hugged the guy. I don’t understand why she’d feel ashamed but make things worse by disappearing without any contact. 
if anyone sees a good outcome from this today, will you please let me know. I already was dying inside. Now this has put me into so much pain. 
Anita

@laura-f

Oh no worries-he’s been to the vet twice in two weeks

He had a urinary blockage last July and he’s been on special food ever since. We did a urinalysis last week, stool check this week (blood is now gone) and we just did bloodwork today and should know something tomorrow.

I was just wondering if perhaps I am giving him this nervous energy and not helping him get better :(

Dont worry!! He is under vet supervision!!!

@serakat glad to read that he is under a vet's care. One of the reasons cats get this blockage is due to anxiety. You have four other cats - do they all have their own space, things to climb, etc.? I know that can be a big issue.  Good luck and please keep us posted.

@anita

I am sorry for your fear and pain.

This crisis is proving to be a  testing ground for relationships. 

I wish you peace.  I know it's hard.