Anyone else feeling stuck?

@mayo377 Feeling stuck sucks. I can attest to that.  But it helps to know that it is an in-between state. By the way, thanks for opening this thread and welcome to the forum!  The first thing that needs to happen to get unstuck is something you've already done which is to realize you are stuck. When you realize you are stuck, the next thing is not to judge it but listen to it. Now you are getting somewhere. 

Now I'm not trying to make light of it, but the reason I know that so many people are stuck these days is the huge response people had to that boat that got stuck in the Suez Canal.  There were hundreds of people tweeting that they felt just like that boat. 

Once you realize and make friends with being stuck, something begins to shift inside you.  Your psyche begins to make adjustments and a plan. 

I am especially glad you opened this thread rather than just post in the I need help thread because, as you seem to intimate by asking people to join in,  the whole collective is in varying stages of stuckness.

I had a vision a few weeks ago, that lingered my mind for a few days, of the collective in a big log jam on a river. The log jam was more than logs too. It was  mess of stuff, all the junk we sell and buy, and people's outmoded expectations, from future careers to the American dream.  

I could see in my vision that clean fresh water was flowing downstream towards the log jam and when that water got enough momentum it would expand and the force of it would break the log jam and we'd start moving forward. 

Stuckness comes when we outgrow the structures we live in, like a crab whose shell has become too small for it. The world our civilization has built, especially in America, is now too small for our expanding, evolving psyches. Trumpism was the last gasp of that world, and now we are in between two worlds. It's going to affect everything we do, and yes, a lot of people are stuck.  For now. 

@mayo377, I wish for you and for all who are feeling stuck, that fresh clean energy begins to flow through you and you begin to move forward. But remember that stuckness is just an in between state and it helps to breathe into it.

@jeanne-mayell @mayo377

It is a strange time.   Many of us spent a lot of energy the past four years working to counteract iT, then last year came COVID, another urgent obstacle to worry about and focus on.   Now the first thing is basically gone, and the second (COVID) appears to be on the way out.  In a way it seems time has been suspended --- to me somehow even more than last spring.  Last spring we had lots of urgent things to occupy our energies.   Now, not so much.  Something new -- even good!--will come, but it is not formed yet enough for us to spend our energies looking forward to it.   So we may feel "stuck". 

There's kind of a space around things that may prompt people to look around for a new challenge to engage their minds and energies.   The mind likes something to chew on, to play with, and if it does not have it, it may attract or create a situation where there's a "problem" to "solve".   

.... more in next post....

@mayo377 @jeanne-mayell

continued...

The last few evenings I have been re-reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" and I would like to share some ideas pertinent to the "stuckness".     Tolle is a Zen-type teacher who emphasizes the importance of experiencing the "now", de-identifying with the ego, and recognizing that we are more than our *thinking* minds.   I am coming to the belief that these current months represent an opportunity to take a little breather-- to sit with things as they are and *see* them as they are and be more present and conscious.     We do not need to create or attract problems in order to engage with the universe.     Here are a couple of quotes from Tolle:

"There are many people who are always waiting for the next thing to react against, to feel annoyed or disturbed about--- and it never takes long before they find it.  ... Through reacting against this or that they assert and strengthen their feeling of self.  "

"You want peace.  There is no one who does not want peace.  Yet there is something else in you that wants the drama, wants the conflict.  You may not be able to feel it at this moment.  You may have to wait for a situation or even just a thought that triggers a reaction...Can you then feel the enormous surge of force moving through you , the fear, perhaps being masked by anger or hostility? ... Can you be aware of your mind racing to defend its position, justify, attack,  blame?...  Can you feel that there is something in you that...needs the drama in order to assert its identity as the victorious character within that theatrical production?  " 

And as Jeanne said, "Once you realize and make friends with being stuck, something begins to shift inside you.  Your psyche begins to make adjustments and a plan."   This means sitting with the situation as it is-- really seeing it and becoming present, and thereby becoming more in harmony with the universe. 

(I am hardly a Zen-master, but over years as I have tried to put some of these ideas into practice they have helped me quite a lot.)

I feel that I am stuck in emotions that are two years old and even much older. When my longtime situation ended, so many things changed, and for the better, yet a part of me is lost. The grief and sadness keeps coming up for healing, but I am still stuck in guilt, mostly for moving on.

I don't want to come to the end of my life regretting how sad it has been. I play at happiness, yet it eludes me. Relationships with some loved ones continue to just, hurt.

The grief is unavoidable and can be all encompassing.

@mayo377 @jeanne-mayell @iridium @ghandigirl

This thread resonates with me so much. I think we're all so tired from the last few years and with that tiredness come a lot of grief. The last few years have been insane, on a macro and micro level. I've seen it in the world, in my own life, and in the lives of others. I've wondered what in the collective energy has been going on because there's been so much chaos.

For some who've read my previous posts, I work as an Immigration lawyer. The past four years have been hell, obviously mostly for my clients but for me too, having to see the cruel-masquerading-as-policy that was implemented by 45. On a more direct level, I work at a non-profit that strives to do a lot of good, but can be a chaotic place to work in. In the past 2+ years I have someone close to me behave in a way that felt like a huge betrayal, and start ugly rumors about me that just astounded me. I've often felt like WTF IS GOING ON??? More recently things have started to improve considerable (thank you Biden!) but now I'm left with this feeling, much like you, @mayo377, of not knowing how to move forward. So much has changed, so much has been lost, the world is so different in such a short period of time that I think we're all a bit shellshocked.

What I've tried to do is whatever I can right now to make things better. Even something as small as having a healthy breakfast, taking a walk, cleaning out a closet, getting myself organized. Can I try to lose a couple of pounds, color my hair, clean my house? What I can I do this minute/day/week to make my life better, or make better the lives of others. I do this with the hope that while I work to do positive things in the the metaphorical 5 feet ahead of me, the road will start to clear and I'll see a new path forward. That's how I'm coping right now.

@mayo377, welcome, and I echo Jeanne's thanks to you for starting this thread. I am sorry about your dental problems. I could write a manifesto on dental stuff gone wrong. I will send you light and I hope your problems resolve soon.

@ghandigirl, it brave to put bad relationships in the rearview mirror. Sometimes the relationships we do keep, sometimes out of necessity, hurt. I wish you peace as you work through yours.

Happy Easter everyone! I don't really practice any formal religion, but I love the concept of the resurrection. We can all begin again. What a beautiful thing. Cheers!

As I read these posts, I think about the moon and the tides and the Ever Given, and how it relates to our feelings and despair and stuck-ness. We all try different activities and mental exercises to dig ourselves out of our ditch. Our friends the tugboats come along and shift us a bit more. They help but there is more and greater that is out of our control that is aiding our forward movement, however slowly. Think of how ultimately it was the moon and the rising tide that moved that great ship out of its jam; our universe at work in our favor and for our good.

Posted by: @lynnventura

@mayo377 @jeanne-mayell @iridium @ghandigirl

 I do this with the hope that while I work to do positive things in the the metaphorical 5 feet ahead of me, the road will start to clear and I'll see a new path forward. That's how I'm coping right now.

Yes!  As an incarnate human, it is actually not really feasible to live every microsecond only in the moment .    But I don't think that's what the Zen teachers expect.   Looking mainly at the "metaphorical 5 feet ahead" (while also appreciating the moment)  is, I think, a good way to go especially when you are stuck.   

@mayo377 @jeanne-mayell @ana @ghandigirl @lynnventura

Oh, I soooo relate to this thread! So glad you brought it up, @mayo377.  I love all of the comments and thoughts and advice here. I, too, have felt "stuck" in my personal life for the last few years. Waiting for things to resolve, taking steps to help that, but never quite coming over the hump and getting any momentum towards a solution. We are still in some holding patterns for a few situations and I think, as some of you noted, that it just feels more intense lately. COVID, the shift to the Biden admin, etc. -- just more waiting on all fronts, it seems. @jeanne-mayell knows I am a patient person, but man...my patience is wearing thin! I'm glad to not be alone in the feeling. Hoping that, as Lynn mentioned above, we move into this season of spring/renewal/resurrection we can start feeling the momentum building towards progress, release, climbing up towards new things. Love to you all - we can do this!

@mayo377 welcome! Great topic. I feel your frustrations while reading your posts. I would really like to give you a big hug. ❤️ As already seen by the number of ppl who responded, many ppl know the feeling, although I see you have a few extra helpings of anxiety on your plate. I hope your cat will feel a little better soon. Financial worry combined with the care for your pets is a feeling of despair I wouldn't wish on anyone. Sending your strength and good vibes to get that push into positivity with your furry friend as a first step.

Of course the feelings of frustration from the last 4 years + the evil doings by certain politicians, which hasn't stopped, are felt by everyone with a heart and it weighs down on the collective. It doesn't help for sure.

However, I also read that you're not happy with your personal situation. That is something a lot of ppl recognize as well. Being stuck in a certain way of life. It's what you've known, kind of safe, and change is always frightening. It is possible though. It's your life, your path and you're the one in charge. Take control. You can influence more than you think. Yes, certain decisions are hard (different house, jobs, practical details like finances etc.) but there is a solution for almost everything.

Therefore, I strongly wish for you to have a happy dream. One that will give you a big boost of energy and motivation to walk down the path that is best for you and yours.

In general for all, as a Bi-Polar I have always struggled with despair and frustration due to depressions. Because of it I adopted a 'fight and do' strategy: stay active and keep changing/learn. Downside is that I am always looking for new challenges without a year of rest, but the upside is that I attract/fight for the things that I need and always have something to work towards.

To explain better, this is kind of a nature/pagan way to look at things, but in the 90s a book called 'The Secret' became a best-seller and basically used those ideas. If you're interested in inspirational documentaries, there is one about that 'Secret', which might help. It's on Netflix. I'll post a trailer below. It's not as black and white as this documentary makes it out to be though, but... making a list of what you're grateful for in life and reading it every day is a very good start to bring some light back into your world.

Peace. ❤️ 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=san61qTwWsU

@mayo377

Thank you for this thread. Seeing that word, stuck, and allowing myself to acknowledge the degree of my feeling stuck, has been very helpful.

Yesterday I made a conscious decision to be happy. No matter what certain people do or think, or say, or don't, I am deciding to embrace my future. I am deciding to let go of the guilt, let go of the disappointment. I am certain that I will have spiritual amnesia again at some point, and pick it back up, as we do, but I pray and set the intention to recognize and course correct even faster. 

After all, we are doing this dance here for just a blink in eternity. All i can do is allow myself to feel the joy being offered, while forgiving and moving past the grace denied, and the awkward disequilibrium of trying to figure out challenging people. I am giving up, I am giving it over to G-d and the Angels and asking them to remove the weightiness, and the deep sadness. To guide me in understanding and growing in compassion. They say the hardest apology to accept is the one you never receive. But there is love still and maybe angels will sit with me when I feel stuck again.

Posted by: @moonbeam

To explain better, this is kind of a nature/pagan way to look at things, but in the 90s a book called 'The Secret' became a best-seller and basically used those ideas. If you're interested in inspirational documentaries, there is one about that 'Secret', which might help.

I read "The Secret" a while back---   I think there is a part of the manifestation process that it misses or at least doesn't sufficiently emphasize.  I've seen people almost literally drive themselves nuts wondering why praying and praying and visualizing and visualizing -- one family member has been doing this for YEARS--  with no results.  Still stuck.  Dead-ended into a brick wall.  And in the case of this family member, I know exactly why. 

What some people miss is that first, the "manifestor" needs to be in a certain harmony with the universe.  Only then will their desires and wishes line up with the cosmic flow, so to speak.   This leads into the Zen philosophy of accepting what *is*  and coming to peace with it.  (Eckhart Tolle gives an example of saying for instance, you don't have to like changing a flat tire in the middle of the night in the rain, but you can peacefully accept the necessity instead of cursing and grumping and letting it ruin the rest of your evening.) 

Once you are at peace with the universe,  things can begin to fall into place and what you *want* starts to line up with what you really *need*.

If my family member got what they think they want-- they would not be able to manage it. A scaled-back version coupled with a reality check and the acceptance of the necessity of hard work would be more realistic, but this person will not budge.  So they sit--- stuck , unhappy, and frustrated with God.  It's tragic. 

100% feel this thread.  Professionally and in my volunteer exploits I've been feeling like I've been spinning my wheels for well over a year now, but it's really come to a head in the last few weeks.  I thought it was just me (and the cliche of a mid-life crisis since -- I'm at the age where every sitcom dad buys that expensive sports car before having a valuable hug and learn moment with his family.)  

@ana oh yes I agree, which is why I said it isn't that black and white. It shouldn't be praying though. It literally is focusing on a goal and trying to make it happen by doing stuff about it. Just sitting and hoping isn't enough;-)

I am a strong believer in positive thoughts. Something Jeanne also practices with her circle for example. If you combine that with actively trying to change the aspect of your life you're not happy about you can get things done most of the time. Believe -> goal/motivation/dream -> do/action. Good vibrations as always. ❤️ 

Posted by: @moonbeam

@ana  It shouldn't be praying though. It literally is focusing on a goal and trying to make it happen by doing stuff about it. Just sitting and hoping isn't enough;-)

Yes, true, one needs to take action as well---  but what I wanted to point out was that it's  not just the thinking, or even the action, but that the intent needs to be in right alignment with the universe.   I've found myself working hard towards goals and getting nowhere until I take a step back and accept a situation--- almost inevitably something new or better comes along.  

@ana, true but the universe has a habit of pushing you in the right direction. From 'bad' situations a way can open to something good and such. I think we're talking about the same thing, but just using different words;-)

I'm so glad I popped in today ... so glad to see I'm not alone in whatever this feeling is right now. The past few weeks have been horrible - stress, sadness, anger, fatigue, horror, you name it. I'm in the Minneapolis area, so what is happening here has about push me too far. For the past four years, I've learned that Minnesota Nice really only goes so far, and the boundary starts at nativism and racism. I'll read a news article about the Chauvin trial or poor Daunte Wright, and the comments literally break my heart. Then I see on local groups similar comments, and I think ... this is what my neighbors are? This is how they think and what they believe?

They present so ... I mean ... okay: they present "typical" - white, small-town, Christian, bless-your-heart/I'll-pray-for-you garbage, then they leave a comment filled with hate and racism and zero self-awareness. It's been too much. I've never wanted to move away so badly in my life.

All of this has just sat on me for weeks. Thank goodness the fascist goldfish is gone, because I couldn't take that, too. Can't even look at his face if it pops up. But the hate and the racism ... it's breaking me down.

I even told my husband last week that there must be something big and heavy in the universe, because I literally couldn't rest or find peace anywhere.

So it's not just me, eh? Thank you all for being here.

@saibh

I am so sorry Saibh.  No, it is not just you. I am sure the energy where you live is quit heavy right now as well. I wish lites like you mentioned would turn off their comment sections, the do more harm than good.  I feel they are far more people who are caring and have or at least are in the process of opening their eyes.  I don't think they want to comment however.  I know I don't want to open myself up for attack.  Even the comments on the Nextdoor site for my area can get really mean.  Why does someone need to get angry at a person who is positing about their lost dog.  Good grief!  How is yelling at her for forgetting to close the gate going to help?

You need to hang out here more  often so you can feel supported and know there are other like minded and helpful people in the world.  That you are not alone.

Welcome back. ? 

I can concur with a lot of what has been said about this feeling of being stuck.

From January to now I have felt as though no progress has been made or going to be made with my life. Everything blocked and completely stuck. Many times I have been questioning my path, my decisions, all because of the lack of progress. This has been both good and bad because I can evaluate areas that need work and others that should be left alone. Many ups and downs.

Currently, health wise, it is definitely a stuck feeling. I did a tarot reading a month ago and I got the hanged man card as the card/energy going against me - which someone said here could be interpreted as being stuck and this has definitely been the case.

@saibh  I usually do not post as so many times feel like my comments are off during this time of transistion.  Your post hit me in the heart as I too live in Minnesota but farther North....am a transplant for 3 decades.  It just has been so difficult these past 10 years wanting to move but my husband is now in mid stages of Alzheimers and his only caretaker.  Have reteated into a state of disassociation from the clannish and mean behaviors around me.  Finding joy in the simple things keeps me sane from not fitting in. Blessings to you all. Is there something in the water here?