Here is a perspective worth reading that connects the roots of white supremacy and Trumpism with collective trauma, a trauma that it may help to understand if we are to heal our divide.
The author Meghan McNiff starts this conversation which I'd like to explore in this thread.
Seriously How did he get so many votes? by Meghan McNiff
@lovendures @bluebelle @michele-b @ghandigirl @coyote @deetoo @vestralux @yogagirl @brightopal
Last Saturday's SNL also got me thinking about the trauma of Trumpers when the host comedian Dave Chapelle talked about the people who are reeling right now because their candidate lost the election, the way we were all reeling four years ago.
Chapelle's monologue is worth listening to a few times because it is so jarring and yet provocative. Like McNiff's piece, (the article that prompted this thread), Chapelle is walking a road we may need to travel if we are to heal our country. He spoke about rising drug addiction among whites, about white men's life expectancy dropping in this country for the first time. Then he turned the focus on blacks the collective trauma and he said he had a plan called, "The Kindness Conspiracy". Do something nice for a black person, just because they are black. And you gotta make sure they don't deserve it. The same way all those years black lives were destroyed even though they didn't deserve it. So The next time you see a black dude standing on the corner selling crack, destroying his community, buy him an icecream."
Good morning, I rewatched Chapelle’s Monologue again this morning. Hypocrisy is a common theme for obvious reasons. Of course, when I say this I have to remind myself that the reason we’re in this hot mess of a broken society is bc half the country does not accept the fact that racism is at the core of our division. It’s a hard, ugly, painful truth. And, it’s an exhausting reality.
The farmers, who are Dave’s neighbors, complained about hearing a black man say the “N word” in his own cornfield to raise $$$ for the town, yet these Ohio farmers may use the derogatory word frequently. The fact that white men take care of themselves first before helping others is also what we come to expect. We’ve been told that this patriarchal stance is a product of gender inequality and, while misogyny is a real and important factor, doesn’t racism also feed the gender imbalance in our country? A forceful independent white woman is viewed to be as dangerous as a strong black man—threatening and to be rendered inconsequential.
I’m not being dramatic when I say I’m sick to death of racists and having this same discussion over and over again. It feels like shouting down into a well. My masters is in Multicultural & Humanistic Ed and, thus, we studied all of society’s “isms.” I taught at a diverse (and at the time an at-risk district) high school (ELA) in the mid-Hudson Valley in NY and I implemented, of course, racial injustice plus all of the “isms” into my curriculum. Many students’ eyes were opened to the experiences of others via the literature that was introduced. However, any shared experiences of racism were not discussed easily in class. The students of color are either too embarrassed, ashamed, or sick and tired of discussing what they feel will not change. Some students opened up about their painful experiences with racism or poverty in their journal writing or in personal essays sometimes. Many students did not. I learned quickly that their stories are not necessarily mine to tell.
Which brings us full circle to basic human kindness and empathy. In connection to the McNiff piece, I’m forced to confront fully my emotional separation w my racist parents. They refuse to believe they’re racist and they’re both fervent Trump & Republican supporters. My son is in a relationship w a black woman for probably nearly a decade so their hypocrisy cuts like a knife. My parents haven’t called or texted any of their 4 children since Trump lost. Believe me, that is telling of our Great Divide. I can feel their bitter anger. They’re the lone T supporters in our immediate family
Im going to take Meghan McNiff’s advice and take some mental time away from my racist parents, love them from a distance as we live 5hrs away, and keep moving forward, doing the right thing—protesting peacefully, donating, writing postcards, and living as an example of kindness and generosity to all people. Because I definitely do not want to become my angry, bitter, privileged parents. I do appreciate their life’s trauma which obviously feeds their negativity but it’s very difficult for me to excuse their behavior for any reason.
A very interesting article appeared in today's NYT called "History has Begun: The Birth of a New America" which posits that the 2016 and 2020 elections were not so much about the "Left" or "Right" but between "Truth vs. Fiction"... and how so much of America seems to prefer the purely fictional narrative of an ex-Reality TV Show star to painful reality. Makes me speculate about the inner pain level of great swathes of America and how they eagerly embrace a clearly untrue narrative (i.e., "The end of Covid is just around the Corner").
I am beginning to think that Trumpism contains the burgeoning seeds of a future "Virtual Reality Syndrome" for the masses -- where the common man so prefers a fictional, artificial, rosy reality to "real reality" in a desperate flight from life, truth and pain ... and perhaps their own sense of helplessness.
If anyone has read "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley, this phenomena is akin to their all-purpose drug "Soma" which the population habitually ingests to relieve them from all pain and personal responsibility. Trump has offered us his version of "Soma" and 70 million U.S. citizens eagerly seized it. What does this say about us sociologically and psychologically? We'd better figure this out fast before the next Presidential election!!
Please read below article -- I found it fascinating. Helps to begin to explain how nearly half of America voluntarily chose a mentally ill, inept, lying, orange-faced clown extortionist fascist -- they liked his stories and he kept them entertained!! Personally, I think this particular phenomena is worth several doctoral papers in Poli Sci and Clinical Psychology....it's a great (and desperately relevant) area for research...
@earthangel. thank you for your words - you have deepened this discussion. Summoning anyone with Trump-supporting relatives (@share) or co-workers (@Natalie) and probably nearly everyone here in one way or another to read McNiff's piece and listen to Chapelle. But especially McNiff's article .
McNiff: Some people can't handle being forced to change their old fears. They have trauma, which is pain so devastating that the person can't integrate it into their psyche.
Her article makes sense to me when I think about Trump supporters who I know well enough to see their trauma.
So what do I do with this understanding?
Well, first of all, it opens my heart to these folks and that is good for my heart.
Second it gives me a way to accept them without condoning their views. On Monday and Wednesday nights, I lead a loving-kindness meditation for anyone who will come. The key intention we make for ourselves and others is: "May I accept myself (and them) just the way I am (they are)."
Accepting someone is not condoning their actions. It is giving myself (and others) space to exist. It is extending understanding.
It is hard for me personally to do this because of my own trauma, both direct and inherited. Trauma is unresolved pain and fear that cause us to regress to the way we were when the terrible things happened to us, so we can continue to protect ourselves. I have to be reminded over and over again, often after I've had a strong negative reaction, that it is not the person I need to push away. It is the feeling.
@jeanne-mayell Thank you for this reminder. I chose my mother as the oppositional person in my life to send love and healing to during last night’s meditation. And, yes, your healing affirmation of acceptance was felt deeply by me. My mother’s trauma which became my trauma definitely created the push-back-and-run-far-away reaction that I’ve tried to remedy during the last few years. I’ve spent my life hiding from her emotional abandonment by cordoning off others. Time to end that tail-chasing.
I’m going to call them now and be my friendly self. What good does more division and separation provide? None.
Thank you for the reminder, inspiration, and encouragement. Enjoy this beautiful rainy day ?
Great thread - thanks for starting it Jeanne!
The NYT has an aritcle today (or maybe yesterday) that is a thought experiment:
What would you say if you saw this happen in another country?
Masha Gessen and Ece Temulkan in their writings have been encouraging Americans to engage with this thought. It's a counter to the "It can't happen here" argument.
In the last 20-30 years, this kind of strong arm approach to election results happened in: Mexico, Zimbabwe, Brazil, Venezuela, Iran, Russia, Ukraine and more. In all cases it resulted in permanent damage to the electoral process in that country.
In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the disease. Trumpism, like all forms of fascism, is a cancer.
@laura-f It is like a cancer because it spreads and can destroy the Collective. It spreads because it legitimizes the denial of truth for traumatize people who find the truth too painful for them to even try to accept. When I see it as the result of trauma, it awakens my compassion for them which is how we can start to heal.
The Kindness Conspiracy". Do something nice for a black person, just because they are black. And you gotta make sure they don't deserve it. The same way all those years black lives were destroyed even though they didn't deserve it. So The next time you see a black dude standing on the corner selling crack, destroying his community, buy him an icecream."
Now that is radical. I will have to think about that. On one hand it seems very wrong to do a good turn to someone who is destroying their community, but on the other hand, it isn't my place to judge the person.
@ana My take on what Dave Chapelle is saying here is that if we look at how people (of all colors but in this instance people of color) are marginalized and literally driven towards hopelessness and segregation, then we’ll see how their plight is deserving of empathy and kindness. I see the corner crack addict/dealer as no different than a white collar criminal who strips people of their well-being.
John Ehrlichman revealed that Nixon’s “War on Drugs, was a political tool to suppress blacks and anti-war activists by “associating hippies w marijuana and blacks w heroin, and then criminalizing both heavily... We could arrest their leaders, raid their homes, break up their meetings, and vilify them night after night in the evening news. Did we know we were lying about the drugs? Of course we did.”
Hence, many people of color were marginalized, criminalized, and succumbed to the vicious life cycle of self-destruction. It’s a lot easier for a white male to be forgiven and accepted into the workforce and white society. Racists only need one reason—true or false—not to keep a door open for a black man.
It is radical. Acts of radical grace are the personification of Christ (or the Divine) in our world. Maybe that dude is destroying his community because he is angry and knows of no other way to effect change. He is without hope. Acts of loving-kindness can interrupt that thought process and instill a seed of hope. Especially when it comes from someone who represents the root cause of all his problems.
Acts of loving-kindness can interrupt that thought process and instill a seed of hope.
Yes, I agree with that.
Just as a thought exercise, what if we take the radical approach a bit farther? Say there is a white-collar, one-percenter criminal ripping people off- and he or she happens to be black. Would it be more difficult to buy that person a theoretical ice cream cone than the drug dealer? If so, why? If not, why not?
(I am not trying to argue any point here I just think it is instructive to explore our views in our own minds--- it helps with insight. )
@ana A good question and I only can answer via my teaching/life experience that the white guy, regardless of crime and punishment, most often receives preferential treatment, as highlighted during our country’s past and recent gross injustices.
Personally, I feel they both should be given an ice cream cone as acts of genuine kindness
@earthangel I think you mis-read my scenario: In the situation I described, the criminal, white-collar one-percenter would *also* be black.
Given Dave Chappelle's criteria, he gets an ice cream cone too, just because he is black.
And I agree that any act of kindness, shown to anyone, regardless of circumstances, can help to change their hearts.
But what I meant to say was how would we *feel* about giving the ice cream cone to the upper class black criminal vs. the lower-class black criminal? And why would we feel the way we do? I was exploring that in my mind for myself and wondered what others felt.
@ana I understood your point and I still feel/believe that regardless of class, people of color face harsher discrimination and treatment.
Honestly, I’d feel less sorry for either white collar criminal. Chapelle’s plea is to give a down-and-out black man a break and I don’t know what he’d say to white collar crimes committed by people of color. They do occur. Greed knows no boundaries.
I don’t think that scenario would feel different for me. What would feel different for me, and what I would struggle with, would be to give an ice cream cone to anyone who has anything to do with Donald Trump, or with Donald Trump himself. That example of radical grace would be the longest stretch I could make, it would have to be the Jesus in me doing it. I certainly couldn’t do it in my flawed humanity, it would be grace beyond my own abilities.
Well, the way my emotions led me was at first read of Chapelle's idea that one should do something nice for a black person just because they are black-- even if (or even because) they are doing bad things-- struck me as "That would feel very wrong". However upon intellectualizing it (sometimes I have to do that to get ahead of my imperfect human emotions), I can see how it could soften the person's armor and help heal their heart--- and anyway like I said before it's not really my place to judge them or even judge whether they NEED their armor softened and their heart healed.
Then I thought about the scenario of what if it was a wealthy, but corrupt black person. Again, my first impulse was, "NOPE, that I'd rather do a kindness to a guy scratching his way through life even if he was doing it by dealing drugs". But again intellectualizing it-- it seems to me like that would miss the point. The wealthy black person -- even if he/she was BORN wealthy, has doubtless experienced setbacks because of their skin color. So maybe it would benefit the collective energy for them also to experience random acts of kindness.
But then if you carry it further: Everyone, regardless of race or status, has trauma to heal. So maybe everyone ought to get at least a metaphorical ice cream cone, aka random act of kindness. It is not as though the supply is limited. Thoughts??
@ana it’s a challenging complex issue that is overwhelming at times, probably all of the time, bc we’re forced to consider others motivations, experiences, etc. Sometimes, we don’t feel like expending the effort and it’s understandable. I still hold prejudices that I have to check. And while I recognize, as you point out, that we all have trauma to heal, I’m human and always don’t give the benefit of the doubt. And, as we’re feeling abused by T and Co., it’s easy to want to deny some people an ice cream cone.