This is my second day in a row not needing a rescue inhaler and/or a nebulizer treatment. Asthma has been chronic for months. Lifestyle and diet changes have turned the tide I believe.
To be able to breathe is something I have often taken for granted. I feel my lungs healing. I also feel the continued discomfort in them, but I am grateful for being only a whisp of a wheeze away from truly recovering.
Thanks to all for well wishes. I can't count my chickens though, two days is a good start. May it last.
Good morning friends! Oh I long for the day when I can be here and interacting with all of you more again. Perhaps it’ll come during my recovery. Either way, know that I’m thinking of you all and sending as much light as I can to you, as you have sent to me through this journey.
It’s April. It’s #DonateLife month. I am (as of today, Saturday morning) 5 days to pre-op, and 16 days to transplant. I’m now cleaning my body out. Tomorrow is the last day of my multivitamins which have helped me stay nourished as I battled for weight loss and strength. I stopped my edibles (how my primary care physician and I got my anxiety under control) a week ago. This has made sleep a bit of a roller coaster as I’m a very light sleeper and dreams have subsequently returned. I had one this past week where I was at a convention with my wife and children for some reason and a tornado hit and we were separated. I kept trying to call her to find out where she was. Finally I found her heading into the bathroom. She was unconcerned about the tornado she just had to pee. (I can’t remember where the twins were!) It was a little unsettling. Last night I dreamed we were on the island from Lost and she was very much wanting to sleep. I told her not to because she snores and “The Others” might find us. Woke up with my heart pounding on that one. 😂. Such weird things. I guess I haven’t missed dreaming these past few years.
I’m posting, both on my Instagram and Twitter accounts a small thing about the journey each day. It’s helping me reflect and spread the word about donation. As I keep saying, you don’t have to do anything quite as crazy as me - ticking the box on your drivers license is enough. I’ve decided that rather than trying to lose any more weight now my goal is to just maintain. I haven’t done my early morning workouts for the last two weeks - during spring break because I got the cold that’s been going around, and this week because I just felt like I could use the extra sleep. I’m doing some form of exercise daily, but not in the early morning hours. Sleep seems preferable.
This morning I woke up with a tune in my head I came to recognize was from Hercules, a very underrated gem from Disney’s late 90s renaissance that I believe they’re working on adapting for the stage right now. I look forward to seeing it when the touring company comes to the theater we buy season tickets to each year. It’s “Go the Distance” and after the brief cartoony intro, it’s available here: https://youtu.be/zgnHF2CwrPs?si=q-cB7492owH4md8L . I don’t know why it’s hitting me with the feels today, but it’s hitting me with the feels today and I’m crying a bit while I type this.
Perhaps it’s because I’m closing books left and right right now. The organization I’m president of is going to get turned over to my vice-president next Sunday evening right after our board meeting. The finality of that, even though it’s just until I resurface in May (my term ends June 30 officially) seems important. I had to step into an aspect of leadership that isn’t fun this past week to rescue our annual conference which will take place while I’m out of range. Having built that event and rebuilt this org it’s hard but I’m getting them on a good path to coast without me for a time, even if the current chairs will probably assemble voodoo dolls of me.
The other major book I’m closing for now is work. While I’m finalizing obligations for this school year, I scheduled nearly 30 emails this week to pump out while I’m gone to keep some of the things that won’t be done while I’m out of communications range going. Several trainings with substitutes swapping in for me - but they don’t have access to my contacts so I’m writing emails trying to think of things I usually don’t need to think of until the day of. It’s taxing work and I’ve been exhausted coming home every day this week. A friend with a sense of humor very similar to mine who is running one of those trainings said “It’s good that you’re starting every one of those with: “This e-mail was scheduled in early April” but for the one I’m running, since it’s the day of your surgery, could you consider saying “Hello from heaven! I’m talking with Jesus right now and he wants you all to know Critical Race Theory is totally a thing up here.” And I don’t know if I’ve ever laughed as hard as I did at that. Of course I will not write that but… funny. Okay, now I’m not crying at my keyboard, I’m laughing again.
(Thankfully things with my boss are going well at the moment though I’m still considering putting in for another position on campus if it opens like I think it might.)
I want you all to know that I love you all. A weird thing to say to a group of people I’ve never met in real life, but it’s truth. You’ve helped me see hope and beauty and compassion over the past 7 years in a way I absolutely needed then, now, and soon. You’ve made me a better human by being such good humans yourselves. Okay now I’m crying at my keyboard again.
What I’m feeling right now isn’t terror or fear. I knew when he told us about this four years ago it would be me. My even being a match for K was 1 in a million odds. I surmounted that. Most people who have to lose the weight don’t do it. I did. The universe has cleared every hurdle from my path over the course of the last year to make this thing happen and there’s a comfort and solace that comes from that realization. I feel (And many of you have seen!) that things will be a smashing success for both K and myself. I know it’ll be okay because I’ve won the metaphorical lottery every day since August 19th last year when I was tentatively approved into the program. I won it with every pound lost. I won it with every burpee that got easier. I won it with every person who didn’t tick that box on their drivers license who heard my story and did. I won it every time I saw K with his wife and children - putting some pep back into his step that was notably absent. But there’s a lot of emotional residues surfacing for me right now and it’s normal and I’m going to sit with it and feel it. As I told the twins - The writers don’t give characters the plot lines I’ve had this year if they’re planning on writing the character off next season. They laughed at the analogy and seemed to take it for what it is.
The day before the surgery @Jeanne-Mayell is going to be put into a text thread I’m calling “My Virtual Waiting Room” with my wife and about 10-15 others. She’ll have updates as soon as I’m out of surgery and I’ve asked her to share those updates here for those of you who are looking for that news as soon as she is able.
Thank you doesn’t seem adequate enough for all you’ve all done for me.
All my love, all my light,
DannyBoy
@dannyboy Thank you for the wonderful and moving update on your journey! And thank you for keeping us in the loop. I know I and all of us here will be thinking of you and keeping you in fantastic light, love, and support throughout surgery and recovery. I love the analogy you gave your twins. :) You are one amazing human!
@dannyboy I've been smacking my hands for days, making sure I didn't write to you as I wanted to. I knew you were a ball of nerves, and you wanted/needed support. I didn't want to step on your toes, start a countdown, or do anything but send good thoughts, prayers and light whenever I thought of you (often in the last week).
You are right, you've got this. It is a one in a million shot, and you nailed it. You are showing us all that what we feel and see, no matter how remote in possibility, are still realities we can reach. You are giving not just the gift of life, but the gift of soul and love. The latter two are actually more important-keep that in your mind and heart. When K passes decades from now, he won't take your body parts with him, but he'll take the memories of your kindness, your love and soul with him to the next plane. It will still matter even when his body is gone.
I carry burdens of things I've done, which I've done not because they were easy, but because I felt they were the right thing to do. I've recently been wrestling with some of those things that haunt me. But I finally came to the realization that the quote 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions' has a certain connotation here. I personally don't believe in Hades (which I was just talking about Hercules the Museical the other day-I'm taking a Disney cruise this summer and the ship has replaced the musical with a Tangled musical), but I realized that when I move on to the next plane, that if I hadn't done what I'd done, for eternity I'd carry the burden of knowing 'what I could have accomplished, and didn't; the numbers of people I could have helped, but didn't' would be my Karma-my Hades. So for now, I'm satisfied that in this life, I'm carrying the repercussions of what I did for others, so I won't have regrets in the afterlife for eternity. You knew you had to do this, and so did your angels and guides. That's why you're where you are at-approved, fit, and about to save a life.
All I can say is that I saw a 'tornado' surrounding you as I read what you wrote. Yes, there's a storm you'll go thru, but as your wife showed in the dream-it's going to amount to nothing but optics. You'll come thru with flying colors. Let the nasty neighbors (or boss) ride her bike past your earthly window and turn into the broom rider. That's her journey. Yours is to return home safe and sound after a somewhat surreal, sometimes scary, other times beautiful, trip over the rainbow.
We'll all be with you on this journey.
@dannyboy ahhh dear sweet soul and friend ... prime example of a human "being" rather than a human "doing ... there is so much Agape surrounding you... you do know you agreed to this prior to incarnation yes? So many "synchronicities" and obstacles removed from your path reveals your Path. What an amazing ,Gifted man you are. The world sorely needs you and you are source inspiring so many. Back in 1978 I had a surgery and remarked to my Gyn that I had watched Coma the night before and taken "organ donor" off my drivers license... but actually did not. Since dying and coming back experience in 1974 I had committed to organ donation based on what I retained of that experience. I am grateful to you and others here for the shining courage and compassion and support we all give to each other!! Hugs Bro!!! You've definitely got this!!! When the anxiety hits take several "box breaths" and tell yourself ... This is the Highest Good for all Concerned" and... TRUST that.
@dannyboy wishing you the very best of for everything you’re doing. What an amazing human. Here’s to success and an easy recovery for everyone. Thank you for sharing this. Blessings and peace always.
Ask your medical folks if LEMON BALM tea is OK for you to drink. I just discovered it and it (or a reliable supplement) might help sleep and anxiety.
https://botanicalinstitute.org/lemon-balm/
Have asked Archangel Raphael if he would please oversee the operation and send his Host to you and K and all your loved ones. There will be Angels abounding now, during, and after surgery.
❤️
I sense there is a lot of spiritual hurt and pain among us resulting from religion. I want to lift up this community for healing from the damage done to our psyches and our souls by well-meaning and not-well-meaning religious figures, doctrines, dogmas that have shaped our lives.
Creator is love and in Creator there is no darkness. I think it's the only thing we need to know to gauge if something is good or bad, right or wrong.
May we be free and transformed!
@impassionate @cc21 @journeyWithMe2 @lowtide @FEBby23 @tybin @freya
Thank you for the kind words. They were things I needed to hear particularly on Saturday. A friend shared with me a post from an intuitive she follows about the eclipse and how it affects us both in the lead up and aftermath and some of what she said resonated with how I was feeling that morning. I ended up spending a chunk of the day outside in my yard working with my new electric power tools. I used the new battery operated lawn tractor we took a small loan out for to mulch the leaves we did nothign with last fall. I used the new battery blower (250 MPH winds!) to move everythign out of the ruts and corners. I used the new string trimmer to catch the sides of things, and then I mulched the garden to prepare it to plant. Post surgery I won’t be able to lift for a long while so that part seemed essential. Spending several hours in the sun was what I needed.
@tesseract. Preop is this thurssday and that will top my list with the dietician and pharmacists. I’m guessing tea is absolutely fine but they made me stop my probiotic (😫I swear that’s what’s been keeping me healthy all these years!) so anything goes.
@cindy Thank you for the kind words as well but never smack your hands away from writing me if you feel the need (And Jeanne can share with you my email address if you really want it!) I have a countdown clock ticking away and I chose to fill it each day with a post on social that is both reflective and designed to help move me to the next phase of my life here post transplant. Please let me know in particular if you enjoy your Disney cruise because we’re taking our third trip for Thanksgiving 2025 (we’re on a 3 year plan with our trips to the mouse!) and we’re thinking we might mix the next one up.
All, particularly anyone I missed tagging - thank you. What a roller coaster :-)
I'll add here for anyone needing a pick me up themselves - ALSO Saturday evening we had Boone's last Canine Good Citizenship class and it ended with their "graduation" - we tried to get a picture of him and his class all looking at the camera at once. That went about as well as one would think it would. Here's my favorite of the bloopers. Notice how Boone is literally on the Red Lab, and his tail makes the Red Lab look like he's wearing a floofy hat. The Bernese (the black dog) would not stop turning around, and the corgie was just fit to be tied that she was even having to do this thing.
Please let me know in particular if you enjoy your Disney cruise because we’re taking our third trip for Thanksgiving 2025 (we’re on a 3 year plan with our trips to the mouse!) and we’re thinking we might mix the next one up.
I've not been on this particular ship since 2007. This will be my 8th Disney Cruise. I started cruising when my youngest was little. I knew they could fly after Monica's accident, but the thought of flying over water used to make them panic. So, to get them to see the world, I started cruising with the mouse. It made even more sense as a single mom. If something happened to me, there would be lots of adults around to look after the youngest. When they took the Magic (ship I'll be on this go round) to Europe for the first time, as a repeat cruiser, I got advance notice. Youngest was 17 by then and really wanted to do it, so we got them on their first plane over the ocean to catch the ship out of Barcelona.
When they grew up and moved out on their own, my cruising stopped. However, after a particularly bad day at work five years ago, my friend and work partner Trish said she needed a break, would I consider taking a cruise with her? I jumped at the chance. We figured her hubby wouldn't go-they have no kids, and he didn't seem like a Disney fan. Surprisingly, he joined and was a bigger kid than the rest of us. We told another friend, Suzy, who had just returned two weeks prior from her family's first Disney cruise. She was ready to go back out for more fun. So now, we have our cruise group, me, my two girlfriends, their hubbies and three kids. We had our 4th cruise together planned, but Covid hit. Then, being a military family, Suzy's hubby was stationed in Japan. No cruises for the last 3 years. Two weeks ago, my phone was chiming at 5:30 am. Suzy's hubby had gotten his stateside orders, and in the middle of her international move to the west coast, she wanted to get in a cruise-from the east coast. We had a cruise planned by the time I went to work with Trish, who had to call home and tell her hubby the news-we're cruising in 2.5 months, adjust your schedule. We're already throwing around ideas for next year's destination. LOL Disney is a little more expensive than other lines, but it's like the parks-the attention to detail is always there.
I also got to our local theater yesterday for a wonderfully done production of Beauty and the Beast. It was Monica's favorite Disney movie before she passed. It was the first Disney story where the female lead was smart, strong and independent. Made me smile, and yes @dannyboy, I thought of you and sent good thoughts as I was waiting for the curtain to rise.
@dannyboy, I see you down the road giving an inspiring talk, maybe a TedX or even a TED, to an audience about your giving experience. Your talk takes the action you made to so many levels we need inspiration to do in this world. You rise and rise and rise, my friend. Thank you for letting us be on this journey with you. We are sending you healing for the best journey of your life. We are sending Kevin healing for the best journey of his life.
Anyone else feeling kinda clobbered by post eclipse joy into sudden doldrums? Good grief.
This too shall pass and I’m sorry I didn’t have the usual positivity and gumption to join our Intuitive class last night. We got back late from my husband’s oncology appt where we got the usual good-but-not-good-enough news. I always think handling these regular visits (the Dr reminded us it’s been since 2010) won’t affect me so much after all this time. Then I get home and realize my jaw and neck hurt from teeth clenching. The tension blossoms and fades each time but somehow I still think I’ll be impervious. HA!
I offer up a gift of healing to All of us during these tough transformational times. Going to use this beautiful bright sunny but cool day for a small dose of self-pity, -care, and a good cleansing cry. Then I’m going to climb back on my wild horse and let the wind carry my real and perceived troubles away. Giddyup! See you on Zoom soon.
p.s. I’ve never ridden a horse but love the imagery. Lol