@deetoo - thank you so much.
Yes, I took the older sibling on a lovely outing last Sunday - we went to a big museum, had ice cream, a grand old time. He's such a good kid, and I feel sorry for him because I can kind of see where he may end up psycho-emotionally as an adult. He'll be smart and kind, but probably not happy.
I get overhwhelmed because my mother, father, stepmother, all 3 of my brothers and my daughter all suffer from functional mental illnesses. My husband could use some therapy, but neither of us is so severe as to be considered mentally ill to the point where our behavior affects others internally.
Two more sleeps and I can go home...
PS - thanks to all, I can feel the love and I am feeling much better than I did 12 hours ago.
Love and Namasté
Sending you one last puff of good energy to add to the others, Laura. You do so much for us and for all of those you help, which goes way beyond just your family. I hope you can go home and really rest. You are one of those angels on earth.
@yogagirl, I just noticed your post. Damn. That nearly happened to me too a few weeks ago. And, like you, I knew better but somehow they just caught me in a distracted moment and I believed them. I wouldn't let them on my computer because no one gets to come on my computer for any reason, but I actually believed they were the real deal until they started instructing me to take out gift cards from Target. Gift cards! From Target no less! Has any credit card company or bank ever needed you to take out gift cards to correct a hacking problem? Please don't blame yourself for being a little trusting. It''s a good quality. Sending you love and healing from this ordeal.
Aloha Ernie, I'm sending you light and the knowledge that joy is right behind all your stress.
Hi Laura, geesh. Sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It’s painful to witness family dysfunction so clearly and yet be unable to cure it. Plus, it’s even more painful for an empath having that experience. Remember that each one of them has his/her own life journey and experiences. You may do more good than you ever know. Hope you get some rest and feel restored. May the love you’ve shared with this family linger and may your influence remain a force for healing and stability. You are a light worker after all. Much love to you.
When I read about your excursion with your nephew, it made me smile. It got me thinking about how, as Bluebelle stated, you may do more good than you ever know. I’m speaking from personal history. I too grew up in a tumultuous household. I never knew from day to day what to expect, and was a bundle of jagged nerves – very shy, frightened, hypervigilant, and frustrated that I felt powerless to change our family situation. But just when everything would feel hopeless, we’d get a call that Aunt P was coming for her yearly visit from out of town.
P. was my mother’s cousin, but we called her “Aunt.” She was also my godmother. Her visits always excited my sister and me -- my mom too, in fact. Aunt P. drove this big, champagne-colored Cadillac -- badly, I might add -- and dressed like a glamorous movie star. Her manner of speech reminded me of a 1940’s actress. She never completed high school, but was extremely intelligent. She was a voracious reader and spent each day of her life learning a new word from the dictionary. She was proud of her Polish heritage, and loved and fiercely defended her Catholic Church. (Even though, in her younger years, I’d heard a scandalous story that she had once dated a priest!) She lived for a period of time in the south, and was ahead of her time challenging racial bias.
In spite of her outward appearance, I learned much later that Aunt P. didn’t have a charmed life. Far from it. She just made it look easy. She was very different from my immediate family – so inclusive, seemingly unafraid, grateful, joyful. She showed me how life could be different – how I could recognize my gifts, be creative, choose another path. But what really stayed with me was her unconditional love. I didn’t need to earn her affection. She would send me the most beautiful letters – how proud she was of me, how much she loved me. I could feel her loving kindness leaping off the pages. She offered me some of the emotional stability that I craved. That meant more to me than she would ever know. I’m just sorry that I never took the time to tell her.
I saw Aunt P. once, sometimes twice a year, and would receive an occasional letter. My home life didn’t change, but I could sometimes view myself and my life through a different lens. She wasn’t a daily constant in my life, and yet, those moments I spent with her gave me tremendous hope. They stayed with me for the rest of my life.
So I guess my point is … you never know. You have no control over how this plays out, but you just might be that stable force in an unstable family dynamic. You can’t fix or save your family, but you can show them another way. By being your kind, wise, loving self. By honoring your boundaries. By being you. That’s all you can do. And that’s enough.
@deetoo - what a great story! It reads like a 1940s movie, too! You should write it down, with lots of detail.
Even though everyone in the family is a broken toy to one extent or another, I did luck out with wonderful grandmothers and aunts. I am trying to channel them as I am here.
Tomorrow I go home, and as hard as it's been, I know I'm leaving everything here better than I found it, even in tiny ways. At the least I planted some seeds with my brother and SIL which they were receptive to. So yes, there's hope. And the bonus is that I get to experience more gratitude for being back home with my own family. Well, that and the large glass of wine my hubby has promised to get me to upon my arrival...
Much love and peace to you all here. The Force is strong with all of you and your "vibes" helped so much.
❤️ ? ❤️ ? ❤️ ? ? ? ?