Hi all. I haven't been on for a few days but have had to deal with a very stressful situation. Yesterday my computer was hacked. It is my own fault I know. They conned me by saying they were from my internet provider and there was a problem with my connection. Like a dummy I logged on to my computer and they were able to access it by remote. They were able to steal one of my credit cards (thank God I only have two and use them on a limited basis) and access my PayPal account. They tried to access my bank account but I have a special account that has limited access and you have to go through hoops to log in or change the password. The person I spoke with got really nasty when I told them I didn't want them in my computer and basically held my computer hostage. He tried to get me to go toBestuy and pick up a "package" which I later found out contained gaming cards. Luckily I was able to disconnect from the internet and call BestBuy and Apple and stop him befor ehe did too much damage. I am so upset and mad, not only at him but at me for being so stupid. I worked on computers as far back as 1976 and I know better! These people are such professional con men and are really nasty and rude. Everytime I tried to stop the process he told me to shut up and stop being nasty to him. Needless to say I cussed him out good. I realize I am lucky, all this cost me was half of my day time wise to correct all that was done. I am just having a hard time calming down and forgiving myself. Anyway please send me some light if you can I would appreciate it. And thanks for letting me vent.
I’m so sorry this happened to you! And yes, I’m sending you light. The IT issues are crazy; even as a librarian, I’ve opened phishing spam links, too.
These are professionals; this isn’t just some kid in a garage hacking. These people spend their days and nights scamming people. They will meet their karma. Imagine that’s how they spend the time on Earth? How utterly sad.
@yogagirl, I've missed your wonderful posts, and am so sorry that you were faced with this. I am happy that you were able to reconcile everything.
Please don't beat yourself up over this. This kind of thing could happen to anyone. Pacosurfer is right, these people are pros at spending their days and nights scamming people. Can you imagine what good they could do if they channeled all of their smarts and energy in a different direction? It is very sad, and they will meet their karma.
I'm sending you a big hug and lots of love.
@deetoo and @Pacosurfer thankyou for the llight and kind thoughts. I just went on Yahoo News and the first story was the top four telephone scams! I wish I would have read that yesterday! I have just registerd with the no call site for both of my phones. They also gave some very good advise on what to look for and how to handle the situation. I am glad I have caller ID at least I know now which calls not to answer! Peace and Love to all.
Glad you caught on before it was too late @yogagirl !
I could use a little light and healing today too.
I am visiting family out of town for a joyful event, and have been living with/helping my brother and his family and helping them out in many ways with the arrival of their new daughter. I go home on Sunday, but I've barely made it through my visit without racing back to the airport.
My brother has some OCD, my SIL has major depression (and is on meds and is breast feeding - don't get me started). I came to help take presssure off them with their older kid, and to buffer between them and SIL's crazy (really, not using that word lightly) family. I don't mind helping, but they're giving me too many tasks to do along handyman lines. I came to cook, clean and play.
And here I find myself having a major anxiety attack, first one in years. It's not their fault, but long story short, I am always surrounded by people with significant mental illness. I'm watching it being passed on to this newborn girl already. Their behaviors are similar to what I grew up with, even so I find myself overwhelmed and sad. These are people who are good people, but should probably not have had kids given their issues. They're trying, but it won't be enough. This morning their behaviors triggered me. I'm trying to take deep breaths and maybe meditate, but it's not working.
Send some light to me and some ENlightenment to this little family...
Thanks.
I am sending you light and love; it seems that they are definitely taking advantage of you. They may need a lot of help but that doesn’t mean you have to be the one to always give the help. In fact, if it’s affecting you to a point that you are having panic attacks, it is not healthy for you.
Hang in the @Laura F. we are here for you. You will get through it. All you can do is what you can do. There are times and situations that we just can't help. I know I grew up with a crazy family too. It put a major stress on my life and it's hard not to look back and say If Only. Try not to let it distroy your peace of mind. I will light a candle for you and send you some light today.
I know. And it's not a constant situation. I volunteered to step up at this time because NONE of the grandparents are willing or able, and I knew they'd need help. It will NOT ever happen again. Two weeks out of my life, and I'm done. It just saddens me so much to see the cycle of mental illness continue to the extent it is. I had hoped to kind of put them on a better path... No good deed goes unpunished I guess.
You can still pray for them and send them love and light from afar; this has been a lifelong lesson for me as well: learning to help people without hurting me, or allowing others’ issues to cause me pain.
@laura-f, I can relate to crazy family dynamics. It looks like many in this community can. I'm sorry that the situation has caused you such anxiety. I understand how powerless you must feel, and how much this hurts you. Do you have a good connection with their older kid? I'm wondering whether you could do something with him/her for an hour or so, away from the rest of the family. But as yogagirl stated, there are times and situations that we just can't help.
More importantly, please give yourself breathing space, even if that means leaving the house for a while -- even repeatedly. Your peace of mind is more important than anything or anyone.
I'm sending you and your family love and healing light.
@deetoo - thank you so much.
Yes, I took the older sibling on a lovely outing last Sunday - we went to a big museum, had ice cream, a grand old time. He's such a good kid, and I feel sorry for him because I can kind of see where he may end up psycho-emotionally as an adult. He'll be smart and kind, but probably not happy.
I get overhwhelmed because my mother, father, stepmother, all 3 of my brothers and my daughter all suffer from functional mental illnesses. My husband could use some therapy, but neither of us is so severe as to be considered mentally ill to the point where our behavior affects others internally.
Two more sleeps and I can go home...
PS - thanks to all, I can feel the love and I am feeling much better than I did 12 hours ago.
Love and Namasté
@yogagirl, I just noticed your post. Damn. That nearly happened to me too a few weeks ago. And, like you, I knew better but somehow they just caught me in a distracted moment and I believed them. I wouldn't let them on my computer because no one gets to come on my computer for any reason, but I actually believed they were the real deal until they started instructing me to take out gift cards from Target. Gift cards! From Target no less! Has any credit card company or bank ever needed you to take out gift cards to correct a hacking problem? Please don't blame yourself for being a little trusting. It''s a good quality. Sending you love and healing from this ordeal.
Aloha Ernie, I'm sending you light and the knowledge that joy is right behind all your stress.
Hi Laura, geesh. Sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It’s painful to witness family dysfunction so clearly and yet be unable to cure it. Plus, it’s even more painful for an empath having that experience. Remember that each one of them has his/her own life journey and experiences. You may do more good than you ever know. Hope you get some rest and feel restored. May the love you’ve shared with this family linger and may your influence remain a force for healing and stability. You are a light worker after all. Much love to you.
When I read about your excursion with your nephew, it made me smile. It got me thinking about how, as Bluebelle stated, you may do more good than you ever know. I’m speaking from personal history. I too grew up in a tumultuous household. I never knew from day to day what to expect, and was a bundle of jagged nerves – very shy, frightened, hypervigilant, and frustrated that I felt powerless to change our family situation. But just when everything would feel hopeless, we’d get a call that Aunt P was coming for her yearly visit from out of town.
P. was my mother’s cousin, but we called her “Aunt.” She was also my godmother. Her visits always excited my sister and me -- my mom too, in fact. Aunt P. drove this big, champagne-colored Cadillac -- badly, I might add -- and dressed like a glamorous movie star. Her manner of speech reminded me of a 1940’s actress. She never completed high school, but was extremely intelligent. She was a voracious reader and spent each day of her life learning a new word from the dictionary. She was proud of her Polish heritage, and loved and fiercely defended her Catholic Church. (Even though, in her younger years, I’d heard a scandalous story that she had once dated a priest!) She lived for a period of time in the south, and was ahead of her time challenging racial bias.
In spite of her outward appearance, I learned much later that Aunt P. didn’t have a charmed life. Far from it. She just made it look easy. She was very different from my immediate family – so inclusive, seemingly unafraid, grateful, joyful. She showed me how life could be different – how I could recognize my gifts, be creative, choose another path. But what really stayed with me was her unconditional love. I didn’t need to earn her affection. She would send me the most beautiful letters – how proud she was of me, how much she loved me. I could feel her loving kindness leaping off the pages. She offered me some of the emotional stability that I craved. That meant more to me than she would ever know. I’m just sorry that I never took the time to tell her.
I saw Aunt P. once, sometimes twice a year, and would receive an occasional letter. My home life didn’t change, but I could sometimes view myself and my life through a different lens. She wasn’t a daily constant in my life, and yet, those moments I spent with her gave me tremendous hope. They stayed with me for the rest of my life.
So I guess my point is … you never know. You have no control over how this plays out, but you just might be that stable force in an unstable family dynamic. You can’t fix or save your family, but you can show them another way. By being your kind, wise, loving self. By honoring your boundaries. By being you. That’s all you can do. And that’s enough.
@deetoo - what a great story! It reads like a 1940s movie, too! You should write it down, with lots of detail.
Even though everyone in the family is a broken toy to one extent or another, I did luck out with wonderful grandmothers and aunts. I am trying to channel them as I am here.
Tomorrow I go home, and as hard as it's been, I know I'm leaving everything here better than I found it, even in tiny ways. At the least I planted some seeds with my brother and SIL which they were receptive to. So yes, there's hope. And the bonus is that I get to experience more gratitude for being back home with my own family. Well, that and the large glass of wine my hubby has promised to get me to upon my arrival...
Much love and peace to you all here. The Force is strong with all of you and your "vibes" helped so much.
❤️ ? ❤️ ? ❤️ ? ? ? ?