After a few days of deep thinking, and a tough love session with my therapist, I can see that i was not functioning well and doing a lot of different kinds of negative thinking.
I have decided that I would rather identify as Resilient then as Depressed. I would rather let go and move on than hold on and hurt.
My wonderful boyfriend is a source of joy and his enthusiasm for life is infectious. I am choosing to stay in the moment with him, and this ups my chances for happiness. My little cat has become a wonderful support companion and I am tuning in to her affection more now, with less distress and tears, allowing me to really absorb her caring closeness. She actually licked my face yesterday like a dog would. She knows I need love.
I am even more accutely aware that no one is promised tomorrow. If I am unlucky and get the virus and it proves fatal, I want my last day to be one in which I laughed, and loved, and felt good about myself. I want to feel better evey day from now on. I want this for myself because I deserve it. I have given so much away and I must be proactive and self protective. I must limit my interactions for now with my ex and daughter, even if only to help myself feel better, feel less stressed, feel less pain.
I thank everyone for their good thoughts. I am hopeful again that I will continue to grow in Grace and Strength. I am remembering how Blessed I really am. And I am sending my daughter love, whenever I think of her I just think LOVE and try to let the rest of it go.
I am certain I will stumble again. Depression and Anxiety, PTSD, and bipolar disorder challenge me to rise above, I may fall but I will try mightily to get back up quicker.
Love to all.
<3 Ghandigirl
You are an incredibly beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing your sweet wisdom and kind self with us all! ?
Trigger warning: sexual assault.
So I'm writing to ask for your prayers and positive energy for my niece and my sister who've been going through a really rough time. My niece was raped shortly after her 16th birthday last spring. She showed great strength and courage by being willing to file a police report and it worked out that the perpetrator got a pretty strong penalty (many years of probation), although we can't say there was true justice. My niece has been getting counseling; my sister is also getting counseling, and this is especially a spiritual crisis for her because she is coming face-to-face with her limitations in keeping her child safe. The path of healing from trauma like this is long and rough; my niece has resorted to self harm and even made a (feeble) suicide attempt a couple weeks ago.
Thinking about some of the amazing stories on this forum, and those of you who have more contact and awareness of spirit guides, and of my own brushes with death when younger--moments when I certainly felt afterward that I was being protected, I've encouraged my sister to try to "let go and let god" a little bit. She's feeling so responsible for things she can't control, and struggling with helplessness. She is a nurse, a deeply loving soul who very much wants to heal others and take their pain away, and seeing her daughter suffer like this is the worst and most difficult thing she's ever gone through.
So any loving thoughts and prayers and energy you might spare to send toward both of them, would be deeply appreciated by me (and them, even though they wouldn't know). Thank you! ❤️
I'm visualizing a whirlwind of light engulfing them both, pulling out and dissolving away the pain and the grief and replacing it with warmth, peacefulness and Love.
I will pray and ask my angels to wrap your niece and sister with the white healing light of love. My heart goes out to them both, but of course I want to even hug your poor niece so hard she feels all love and no pain. ?
❤️ ?
I need support and understanding. I am having issues with other support groups in my area and in last residence. As well as medical community, neighbors, and family. If you have any insights and strength, please send it. I also need to know who I can trust.
Asking God to send AA Raphael and AA Michael to heal and shield them - seeing them enveloped in the White Light and Purple and Green ribbons of Healing Light twirling all around them. Holding space for them as they work through this together. Much Light, Love and Healing Energy sending.