@cindy I hope your dad continues to feel your love and care. I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Please take care of yourself and in the meantime we will send you love and healing light. Sending you prayers for a complete healing. Peace friend. ☮️❤️
@deetoo thank you for attaching that article. I really needed it today. Yesterday I severed ties with my dad and told my mom I’m dis-owning him. The utter disappointment I have for him are beyond words and my emotions were deeply shattered yesterday. Story short, my dad is a die hard Republican and my mom hates T because of his lack of empathy and the hatred spewing from his mouth. Growing up in an immigrant family I suffered from continuous patriarchal domination with daily verbal and physical. My mom was a target of domestic abuse and this have caused my sisters and I a lot mental instability and suffering. I thought my dad changed and I forgave him for all the physical pain he’ve caused me growing up. I was ok being the guinea pig so that my dad learn from his mistakes and not hit my younger sisters. This past few weeks my mom have complained that my dad’s old ways have found it’s way back and he disrespected her freedom and again abusing her verbally and threaten to abuse her physically. Yesterday I mustered up the courage to call him and spoke to him calmly about their situation and asked him to please be choose his words and actions carefully since she’s older now and he could put her in serious pain. I didn’t raise my voice; I calmly asked him how he’s doing and requested that he treat my mom with respect. Immediately I can hear his tone and he was in the defense and started to use words that were so piecing. In Vietnamese we don’t usually say you and me since we have different pronouns, for example I would always refer to my dad as dad and myself as daughter. So yesterday while speaking to my dad he failed to refer me as his daughter instead he used the slang term for you and I and it brought back all my amped up painful emotions from childhood. I’m the first born in the family and I was so afraid of my dad since he had such a bad temper that anything I do will cause his temper tantrums. His tone yesterday took me back to that place of being afraid and constantly holding back tears and hiding the scars from the physical abuse. I thought I came to terms with this but his tone yesterday brought me back to these nightmare years. I was crying non stop last night and decided to text him in Vietnamese:
Dear @share,
I'm glad to hear that the Pavlovitz article provided some support and comfort for you. I so wish you were here with me now … I would give you a long, comforting hug – in this moment, social distancing be damned! You are such a beautiful, loving, wise and gifted young woman. And such courage! I can only imagine the pain you are feeling, and yet … I smile through the sadness, as I see a team of angels surrounding you.
Will you be joining us at tonight’s meditation? I hope you can. If not, you will be in my meditation and prayers tonight and every night.
Since I can’t be there in person, I’m sending you the next best thing – a big, virtual hug – and lots of love.
Deetoo
@Deetoo and @moonbeam thank you for your kind and comforting words. I have board meeting at the same time tonight therefore I will not make it to tonight’s meditation and will strive to join the Wednesday night one. I hope one day my dad will wake up and come to his senses but perhaps I’m being too positive.
share the love and light
@share I’m so sorry about the heartache from having deal with a difficult parent, especially in an Asian family where the father is deemed the head, whose opinions can’t be questioned. The Trump years have exposed the fault lines in the US, within communities and within families. In such a case, it’s only with time and the positive change in society brought about by decisions of an inspired leader that bridges can then be built. We can’t convince our handful of Trump friends and we don’t intend to. We decided to let them grieve, like we did in 2016, unless they resort to violence. I am sorry your mom is caught in between. It would break my heart if I were in a similar situation so I just want to say I hear you.
Pikake
We are all sitting with you in your pain. The way your father has treated you and your mother is devastating, such unkindness from someone who should adore you both. There is no knowing why people are the way they are, and make the horrible choices they sometimes do. It’s so disappointing when it’s a family member. Don’t allow him the opportunity to hurt you any more than he already has. Thinking of you and sending prayers and peace to you.
Oh sweetheart I am so sorry.
You are very brave and I am proud of you for standing up for yourself, your sisters, and your mother.
Walking away is smart, and necessary. Do it for yourself Share. You deserve to feel respected and safe. I wish I could go back in time and give your child self a very big , long, healing hug.
Child abuse is the scourge of this World.
I wish you peace and I wish that the shadow of the past ceases to block out the sun, which is shining on you.
Yoiu are such a sweet person and I am again reminded that everyone has a story, and some are nightmares.
You will heal Share. You will.
I am Sharing the Love and Light. I am here for you always.
Dear Share,
You should never have had to carry the weight, scars , burden, hurt and responsibility thrust upon you by your father. Never.
Yes, you are very brave. Very brave. Being brave doesn't mean you are free from traumatic physical and emotional injury however. The wounds you worked on healing were opened again and they are raw and fresh. I am heartbroken for the little girl who faced a real life monster every day, one who should have showered her with love and joy. I am also so proud of the caring and beautiful woman she has become.
You tried to give him an opportunity to change. He has chosen not to do so. It is his burden to carry.
Do you still have siblings living at home? If so, does your mom feel she needs to stay because of them? Perhaps you can establish a code word/sentence to notify you if the situation turns dangerous.
Thank you for sharing this event with us Share. I will keep you in my prayers and send you comforting love and light.
Everyone here has sent so much love and said so many loving things that I know you know how much we all love and treasure you in all ways here.
So I will send loving and caring energies in the highest vibration today and every day on Wednesdays and Mondays Mediations and in my prayers and meditations each and every day. My candle burns bright for you always always always.
May you truly come to realize how uniquely valued you are and the negative emotions of a harmful individual with deeply damaged physical, mental, and emotional energies himself cannot touch the beautifully radiant essence of who you, the daughter and child of the divine universe truly are and ever will be.
This is your true essence. Let the harm of the not dad energies be blocked by the loving protection of good and kind and caring angels of love and light forever and may you let allvover energies pass through you without harm and regret as you seek always to be the best and highest pure you, pure loving you daughter of goodness/god/goddess/divine energies of true nature and pure love.
This broken heart can and will heal and the energetic barbs and poison pain arrow will be pull out. It will.
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@share sometimes our family can bring us the most joy and the most hurt. I’m sending you a huge hug and asking for peace and love to soothe your pain. We are here for you. It hurts but also takes courage to advocate for yourself and your mom. Take some time to calm yourself and know that we are with you. ❤️
I am so proud of you for standing up to your father. I see your heart is broken, and I want to cradle your beautiful heart, but you are a heart warrior and the heart that breaks, breaks open, becomes stronger, and leads the world.
The heart that breaks open can contain the whole universe.” ― Joanna Macy
When you came to my class, your light shown so brightly. You are all goodness, and I felt so honored and fortunate that you had joined us.
@share I am sorry for this constant pain that contradicts your goodness and light. Thich Nhat Hanh and others helped me to recognize the broken child within my parents and helped to lessen my suffering in feeling abandoned emotionally. I suppose I’ve become the parent in some respects, trying to teach my parents about unconditional love and compassion. They also become insulted and tell me to be quiet and mind my business.
May your courageous heart know that the love it sends out will be reciprocated in abundance from the Universe. ?
Dear Share, I am so deeply sorry for your suffering and wish I could bind your wounds and heal your heart. In my experience, it can take a traumatic experience to create new pathways for yourself. May this time of emotional pain be a turning point in your life. May this turn into a time of strengthening and resolve as you put aside the torments of the past and move forward into emotional and spiritual wholeness. This turning is possible from this moment on.
I know what it’s like to be disappointed by a father in the past and now I know what it’s like to have family members embracing the cult of our fascist president. My family is divided, too. There are slings and arrows directed my way and while I choose not to respond, it’s terribly sad and disappointing.
You will find a way to communicate with your mother and monitor that situation. Please know that I am lifting you up and sending you protection, strength, and peace of mind. May you be blessed with a fullness of life and spirit that surpasses your suffering in great magnitude. You are going to get through this and you are going to be okay.
Much love to you.
I can only echo all of the beautiful and strong encouragements of so many here ... if Spirit is calling you to leave family members for your protection please know that it is for your highest good and as heartbreaking as it is, hold your head up high and move forward.
It's really not our job to try to enlighten those whose eyes are so blinded, however heavy the 'responsibility of caring' may feel. We are protected in the Light, always, and aligning with Spirit will heal those wounds.
Take heart, dear Share ...
You are beloved ?
Dearest Share, reading your post just now made me want to hug you so much. The pain you endured from someone you love, and should show you the most love in this world, but instead inflicts such pain is something I can not only imagine but identify with. I am with you in spirit and my heart holds you. I am sending you and your mother - and yes -- even your father loving light. My hope is if we send him as much love, light and peace as possible he will be kinder with your mother too. I look forward to seeing you at the meditation tomorrow (Wednesday) so I can envelope you even more in loving kindness. My prayers are with you.
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@pikake @lowtide @ghandigirl @lovendures @michele @FeBbby23 @jeannemayell @earthangel @bluebelle @stargazer @TriciaCt