This thread grew out of a large response to @baba’s vision about how our animals absorb our emotions. For some, this was painful and to think about. They love their pets and if the owners themselves are struggling emotionally, it is doubly painful to think that their pain might be transferred to their precious ones. For others, the thought that their pets are actively healing them is comforting.
This is what I got during today’s meditation:
Our pets take on and have been taking on our emotional burdens during the pandemic.
At the start of 2020 my siblings and I had ten pet cats among us--- Five of those cats died during the year and only two of the five were old. It's very sad to think that our stress may have contributed. ?
@ana I don’t think I see it so much as a negative thing but as something that they do out of love and because they can.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your cats. As a fellow cat owner, I know how upsetting that is.
@ana I don’t think I see it so much as a negative thing but as something that they do out of love and because they can.
I'm sure that is so... nevertheless it's guilt-inducing to think that if we could just cope a little better perhaps we would spare our animals some suffering as well.
Our pets take on and have been taking on our emotional burdens during the pandemi
This makes so much sense Baba. A number of people have felt our dog is a "healing" dog. I see him helping with emotional healing in our family though others actually see him helping heal our physical health as well. He always brings joy to others but he seems to give in may unexpected ways as well, especially with unconditional love. Animals are wonderful with expressing unconditional love.
@baba Your post brought back a wonderful memory for me. Early in the pandemic, my husband and I made the decision to self-quarantine. This happened the month after the first Covid patients were discovered in Washington State and several people had already died. We were coping pretty well, had stocked up on essential supplies and were settling into a new routine of living in isolation. In the afternoon, I would often lie on the sofa reading and listening to music. My dog Benny started a new habit, too, climbing on top of me and settling in for a nap with his face inches away from mine. From feet to neck, I was completely covered with doodle. He would gaze into my eyes before falling asleep. My dog understood that our lives were changing and that it was deeply unsettling. As laid back and chill as we thought we were, our dog knew better and offered comfort.
Our pets take on and have been taking on our emotional burdens during the pandemic.
Posted by @ana
I'm sure that is so... nevertheless it's guilt-inducing to think that if we could just cope a little better perhaps we would spare our animals some suffering as well.
@ana I feel for you in having this reaction. You must love your animals so much that thinking that your own pain hurts them just hurts so much.
Being your pet must be such a comfort because you care about them that much, even if you also carry so much yourself.
Both our pets and our children absorb our emotional burdens because they are dependent upon us and it's natural for them to be affected by our worries.
When I realized years back how my children were affected by my own state of mind, I vowed to take better care of myself, for their sakes. I grew up with a stressed out mother and older siblings, and I was always trying to make them all feel better. I took it all on from an early age.
Under hypnosis once, I went back to the womb and discovered that I needed to get out as quickly as possible because my mother was depressed and I wanted to take care of her. After the session,I called my mother who told me that I came a week early! Upon asking, she also admitted how depressed she was at the time because my father was away for two months and she was lonely without him.
I didn't care about my well being, just theirs, because I felt that my well being was dependent upon theirs. When you are young and dependent upon someone, and naturally empathic, as I was, and as pets are and many children, taking on your caregivers' stress is natural.
@ana, dear sweet ana, I don't think you are supposed to "cope" better in order to spare your pets your own burdens. It's about taking the best care that we can of ourselves, even when we want to work harder to take care of another. It's a win win to let all the burdens we can just drop away and put ourselves first.
And if we still carry a lot of stress, then it can't be helped. Our animals know we love them. And love is their greatest need.
I feel our furry family members come to teach us about unconditional love as well as how to give and receive love freely and without strings attached. My son is home sick today after getting a mild case of viral/food poisoning/dietary indiscretion... and when he came out of the bathroom after worshipping the porcelain queen 4 of the cats gathered around him to rub against him and purr at him pulling off " illness" ..and he was finally able to go to bed and go to sleep after being up all night. Exchanges of Love and Healing Energy is a real thing. Science has actually proven the the vibrational levels of purrs correspond with Healing Energy vibration levels. I will see if I can find the article I read on that some months back and share it. To me? It illustrates the Connectedness between all loving Sentient beings and the ability of Love and Energy to Heal.
@Journeywithme2 What a lovely thing for the cats to do for your son! I also believe that their purring is healing. After my first Covid shot, I was so exhausted that all I could do was lay on the sofa. My cat, who is not a lap cat by any stretch of the imagination, saw me laying down and curled up against me and purred for a whole hour until I felt good enough to move again. He generally only does things like that if I am really not feeling good and that has only happened a few times in the more than 10 years that he has been part of our family. What a gift that was!
@baba There are many research reports out there. Here is just one: https://medium.com/chilled-cat/the-healing-power-of-your-cats-purr-bbdb6b2642ca
Other known health benefits of having pets in your life: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5800290/
and yes... we have a very loving clowder here ? ❤️
and.. all of my dogs have been very loving and Healing as well! In my case? It has been a lifelong mutual admiration society and Healing and Love between us. As a child I was always "dragging home" any stray or in need animal wild or domestic that I found. I healed them, they healed me... I could not have survived my childhood had I not had their furry love and support.
My dog Toby was such a comfort to me. He continues to watch over me. I never thought I would have another animal who I loved as much as my Toby. I have been doubly blessed.
I have two cats and I love them both, but my Cleo is imbued with the same spirit as Toby. Every night during my forum time she lays on my shoulder, chest, and feet purring and cuddling. I have never seen or even heard of such an affectionate cat. During the day she is snuggly and often sits on me or right next to me. She is petite and sometimes I don't realize she is there.
Sometimes she is the only reason I can feel happy, or that this new life of mine is good.
I grew up in the city of a large metropolitan area and never had any pets growing up. My mother always felt my sister and I would be irresponsible and believed she would be the one who would end up having to care for the animal (which is probably true!) To tell you the truth, my lack of exposure to life's furry creatures made me a bit uncomfortable being around them. Other than spending some limited time with a few of my friends' dogs and cats, I never had a pet of my own until my first husband and I purchased a pair of zebra finches. Are you familiar with them? They're playful, noisy, and adorable.
There reached a point early on in my marriage when my husband at the time and I were having marital problems. I was terrified of him, so even though there wasn't any fighting between us, the environment was oppressive and stressful for me. We kept the finches in this huge cage, so they would have lots of room to move around. The birds would spend their time playing, swinging, and singing their squeaky tunes. Because the tension in our home was so palpable, over time the birds stopped singing and playing; instead, they became unusually quiet, with an air of sadness. Eventually one began attacking the other on a daily basis by pulling out her feathers -- one always being the aggressor, the other always moving away in fear. It was painful to watch, and I felt so helpless. Although I never admitted it at the time, it was a clear reflection of what was occurring in our home. Seeing that affected me in two ways: (1) the finches needed to be in an environment filled with peace and love; and (2) I needed to get the hell out of that marriage. We found a new home for the finches with a lovely family, and I eventually left that marriage. I don't know that I would have recognized the danger I was in until I painfully witnessed it through the finches' behaviors. I believe those sweet birds saved my life.
I never had another animal companion until 25 years later. I eventually remarried and 15 years ago my husband and I adopted a very sweet dog, Gracie. I've posted a few stories about her on this forum community site. Gracie passed on 3 years ago. When she was struggling with cancer, my husband and I were trying to decide when would be the right time to let her go. Gracie was so stoic and although we gave her the best palliative care, in retrospect we now feel she was probably in much more pain than we realized at the time. When we were discussing with our vet the best time to let her go, he remarked "our pets live for us." I got goosebumps when I heard him say that. It's really true, isn't it?
We are responsible for our animal companions when they are in our care, and as @jeanne-mayell insightfully pointed out, they "absorb our emotional burdens because they are dependent upon us and it's natural for them to be affected by our worries." But we are imperfect beings; we can only do the best we can. When we truly love them, our animal companions know it. I once saw a tee shirt that said "Be the person your dog thinks you are." I love that. For me that means treating myself with respect and kindness -- and to try and do the very best I can, one day at a time.
Posted by @jeanne-mayell:
And if we still carry a lot of stress, then it can't be helped. Our animals know we love them. And love is their greatest need.
This is a wonderful and insightful post! Thank you!
@deetoo Thank you for telling us your story. I will never forget it. I'm going to go hug my dog now.
@deetoo Yes... yes...yes....We have been blessed to have these wonderful companions and learn from them... in the moment ... one day at a time.
Have you ever noticed how happy our furry companions are to see us come back in the door? Whether we just went to the mail box and came back? or took a longer excursion?
They know how to welcome and celebrate the presence of loved ones for sure.
@journeywithme2, what always tickled me was Gracie knew when my husband would be coming home. I'm not talking about a routine arrival, like returning from work at a particular time. If my husband ran an errand or had a gig (he's a musician), Gracie would sense he was on his way home, even an hour before he entered the driveway. Because my husband would always enter from the basement, Gracie would hop off the sofa and wait for him by the landing, peering intensely down the stairs leading up from the basement. Amazing.
@deetoo Yes! I love that! Proof of our connections! I had one of my beloveds reincarnate and return to me. It's really amazing.
@journeywithme2, that's such a gift! It's been 3 years since we lost Gracie to cancer. We plan to adopt again this year, and my wish is that she returns to us. If that doesn't happen, then I pray that Gracie is healthy, happy and well cared for.
@barbarmar22, I love the names Mozart and Duke Ellington! I'm sorry they've moved on, but I know the love and precious memories remain with you. How wonderful that they visit your dreams.