I have a confession. I don't think I want to "do Christmas" anymore. It's too much work for the reward. I have to keep my mother and sister from each other's throats the whole time. Holidays are when I am on prime Libra Duty trying to mediate and please everyone's taste in food, gifts, etc.. I'm sick of it. ?
Awww. Don’t feel bad!! It’s OK. I gave up “doing Christmas” years ago, when my children left home. I don’t put up a tree, wrap gifts or do anything special. I think I sent four Christmas cards this year, to my dearest friends who send them to me.
I came to resent the pressure to spend a bunch of money at a certain time of the year, buying things for people who didn’t need more things, putting up a bunch of decorations and all of a sudden having to act like I was “in the Christmas spirit” because TV was telling me to, or my peers were doing it.
Not to mention all the food preparation. ?
I hope I don’t sound like a total grinch. My husband feels the same way. I always work the Christmas holidays so that a younger colleague with children can enjoy Christmas morning with them.
And the $$ that would be spent on nonsense can go to something worthwhile. Like feeding the hungry in the community.
@lowtide Thanks for the encouragement. Your kids are gone, but I have a child who has one foot in the house, one foot out. He's in college but he comes home a lot. He's a great kid, a beautiful person and probably the best thing I've ever done. I think I would abdicate Family Christmas Host Duty if it were not for him. He'd be really bummed out if we didn't have a traditional Christmas. So I need to find ways to compromise.
I decided today that my sister will only get cash in the future. No presents, because she always has some issue with them even when it's exactly what she asked for. She is high-functioning autistic and almost impossible to please no matter how hard I try; no matter how hard I work to understand and accomodate her differences. The worst thing about holidays is mediating between this autistic, stubborn Taurus sister and my hypercritical, controlling Scorpio mother. OMG ? . I tell you, one time I had them both in the car and had to literally pull over to make them stop sniping at each other. It's absolutely insane-- these are two intelligent adults.
My mom always finds something to criticize about the food or gifts. Nothing is ever *quite* good enough for her. I am slowly learning not to sweat that. Her problem, not mine.
And there's the food prep, as you mentioned. I am fortunate that my mother is a very good cook and still physically and mentally able to share the duties. I can follow a recipe just fine, but I don't enjoy cooking. Maybe next year I'll order stuff from the deli for my part.
What I am thankful for is this week between Christmas and New Years, when I don't have to work because my employer shuts down for the week, and my nuclear family is home. ?
I have a confession! Today I was driving down the road when this van pulls in front of me and it is covered with GQP stickers, including t**** won. What really made me angry was the “Let’s go Brandon”. So, as I passed him and knowing it was inappropriate, and not very nice and possibly put me on the fast track to hell, I flipped him the bird anyway.
@jeanne-mayell A retired librarian going on 70. That was the first time I ever flipped the bird to a stranger. My bad!
- @deetoo yes. Me too. @lenor good for you. Frankly I’m a bit tired of listening to all the crap of the one sided craziness. From vaccines to the JFK jr thing is coming back to be the vp for TFG I feel we’ve really tipped into full cult crazy now. I don’t even care anymore to try to understand the other point of view. I know that sounds horrible but I’m way overdone. It’s self care for me.