Laura, I am saddened to hear this. You are having one of "those" days where family dysfunction (combined with external worldly dysfunction) just drains and crushes your spirit, eats away at your soul. It might help to just cry it all out, in a nice warm salt bath. Maybe you need a few days alone, to escape all this bad energy and just recharge. With me, solitude and retreat give me back my positive energy. I need alone time after high stress periods or I will go bust. As for your daughter I was the same way my freshman year. I wanted out of college, I felt so isolated and so alone there, even in a auditorium full of college students, and even with a few friends (that I felt didn't really know me). But going to work for a few years did miracles in motivating me into going back to college and getting that degree (low pay tends to do that). Maybe your daughter just simply isn't ready or she's not feeling well enough. It must be so much harder with mental illness, it might be overwhelming her. But she will find her way, even if her way is all about learning the hard way. None of this is your fault, and never will be, perhaps you feel guilt that you shouldn't have to feel. My ex-husband has schizophrenia, for years I felt guilt for having to walk away, but he refused medication at the time and I could no longer help him. You have your path to follow, and your daughter has hers. Sending big spiritual hugs and positive thoughts to you, and your daughter.
Thanks for the support, you all are lovely and it always helps to know others are "out there".
I do find walking my dog ~by myself~ in nature helps alot.
I get massages when possible, but I'm not a bath soak kinda gal. #SelfCare
I agree she's not ready for college, but she refuses to consider other options...
And at this moment I am typing this from a local hospital ER. My daughter had been complaining of "back pain" for a few days, I kept asking her to go to the doctor, and thanks to her oppositionality, she kept refusing. Yesterday she woke up looking awful and said "Take me to the urgent care." So I did. And now we know she let things go so far that she is septic - she has a kidney infection that has spread through her blood and is attacking her heart. So here we sit, worried and watching as she gets pumped full of 3 different antibiotics and gallons of saline. How did this happen? Again, oppositionality. We live in a warm, dry climate (sorry Cyclone Bomb victims). When encouraged to drink water she rolls her eyes and walks away. So no wonder. It's saddening to see the mental issues cause such a physical catastrophe, but rest assured I feel no guilt on this one. And thanks to our local flu epidemic, there are no beds to move her to, so I'm just sitting in a chair all night til hubby returns for morning shift.
So today's Moral of the Day is: DRINK WATER!! Whether it's 75 or 0 degrees!!!
Big hugs back to all of you - thanks again.
Laura, i'm so sorry to hear that! I'm sending you and your daughter love and prayers. The help for mental health issues is lousy and the stigma around it doesn't help at all. My son has adhd and is super defiant at times, by the time I go to bed (which can be early because I'm exhausted) he is often still high energy. He is still just a child but after we moved he was so heartbroken, he descended into violence, running away, trying to hurt me with a bunk bed ladder... you name it. He has settled now and is happy and things go well but I'm still exhausted from it. I too come from a family with lots of mental health issues and my mental health and energy levels have been in the gutter last year. I found out that my sons has a mthfr gene mutation, he doesn't have an enzyme that turns folate into methylfolate, thus low folate levels, thus many many health problems. I bought some cheaply over the counter and, boy, I am a different human being. I know now i can make it. the depression is gone, i feel healthy... they suspect that up to 30% of the population have this gene mutation and now I believe that a lot of health issues that run in families are linked to it. Anyways... I leave that here for you in case you want to research it.
I understand your worry about your daughter that's bordering on resignation. She must make these choices for herself, there is nothing you can do for her other than what you are already doing, loving her, reminding her to take care of her health, etc. But make yourself first priority. Find out all the things that make you feel good and "selfishly" go for them #RadicalSelfCare Cut the toxic people out of your life unapologetically. You have so much to give, Laura. guard yourself well.
Love and healing to you and your girl ❤️
Tee- thank you so much for your kind words.
I'm well familiar with the MTHFR gene (I carry one copy of the mutation), and I have a lot of health issues. It's like I inherited 90% of bad, chronic stuff from both sides. I laugh about it sometimes because I and my friends refer to it as the M*THF***R gene. I know it played a big role in my infertility, which is why my daughter is adopted. It will be interesting to see if she has that mutation, too. I really went out of my way NOT to reproduce biologically once I realized what was happening. Yet and still I ended up with the same cluster of stuff as if I did. I guess you really can't escape fate.
Thanks to all for healing thoughts - turns out my daughter has contracted a Superbug (E Coli) and will be in the hospital for several days. I can say, as mom, that to me she looks slightly better today.
Hey guys, lately I feel like my depression is getting worse all I can think about is mine and my son's futures in this world and it scares me to death. I want to watch my boy grow up. My anxiety sky rockets thinking about how the possibility of billions dying do to the climate and diseases. And I'm planning on starting college, but I don't know if it'll be worth it in the long run. Im lost and confused.
Laynara, Sorry to hear about your depression. That is something that I have struggled with off and on much .of my life.
As bleak as some of these predictions are, I would point out that they unfold over a number of decades and, from the perspective of the individual, they will unfold rather slowly. In other words, we will be able to cope and deal with things as they come.
While the prospect of a declining population sounds pretty scary, a small change in birth rates can dramatically change population numbers in just a few decades. One only has to look at what happened to Russia after the collapse of the Soviet Union when their population plunged for the first twenty years or so. There weren't any plagues or starvation, there was mostly just a plunging birthrate.
I have really enjoyed reading books by Eckhart Tolle and these books have really helped me with accepting my life as it comes to me. (And has broken the cycle of self doubt.) Years ago I also read a book (that I can't remember the name of) that discussed the planning our souls did in preparation for each particular life. The bottom line always was that we wanted to be here, in this body, doing whatever we are doing, with an eye to accomplishing some specific aspect of our soul's development. That realization has also helped me accept the life that I am living and the challenges I have faced and continue to face. As Eckhart Tolle said in one of his books, "How do we know that whatever is happening to us is what is supposed to be happening? Because it is happening."
Dear Laynara, I hear you. It can be overwhelming--a blessing and a curse to know bits and pieces of what may be around the corner. But some of what we've collectively seen is quite amazingly hopeful. Take a look at what Jeanne has written at the end of the 2018 summary of predictions titled, farther into the future. Something shifts and a new awareness/way of doing things is ushered in. It's likely no accident that you found this site. My humble opinion? Follow your dreams and passions, go to college if that's what you want to do, develop the skills that interest you, plant your seeds and let them germinate. We will all need you and your son when the time is right.
Heyya, Laynara:
I, too, am familiar with that black dog that haunts the night. These days it can be an effort of will to grit one's teeth and soldier on.
What has helped me is talking about it. I applaud your reaching out. You are NOT alone.
Another thing that helps is a moratorium on conventional news consumption. Remember, the job of all conventional news outlets is to sell eyeballs to advertisers. The more dramatic the story, the more eyeballs are glued to it, the more revenue they generate. This system couldn't be better designed to whip our nervous systems to a frenzy. Overstimulus can result in a nervous system crash--depression. Limiting exposure to that kind of manipulation helps.
Remember, Leynara, that there are people all over the world working to make things better. And you are not alone.
Warm Regards, -R1-
Laynara, One other thing. Before I retired one of my jobs was to manage college reimbursement for US employees of a multi-national corp. Going back to college is great but be careful - especially of "for profit" schools. Avoid any school that wants you to take out a student loan payable to the school up front. You are liable for the full amount of the loan and can never get out from under the debt. I have seen many, many horror stories about this practice.
You are NOT alone.
Remember, the job of all conventional news outlets is to sell eyeballs to advertisers.... Limiting exposure to that kind of manipulation helps.
Third, look for evidence of things getting better. ..There are lots and lots and LOTS of unsung heroes making a difference.
Remember, Leynara, that there are people all over the world working to make things better. And you are not alone.
Warm Regards, -R1-
Absolutely! I think this is good advice. We have to remember that what we see from whatever news outlet is never the 'whole' picture - that's not to say that all news is incorrect, it's not, but there is so much that goes on that we do not know about, do not see, that doesn't get reported. And good works being done is often some of what we don't see because good news doesn't get ratings. That also makes it hard to see the light that does exist in the world. Yes, times are bad for a lot of people in a lot of place, but there is also a lot of good being done by people who care.
I think the book Paul is referring to is Michael Newton's Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives. Although I don't buy the hierarchical nature of soul light Newton presents and would have asked different questions of his clients, his case studies completely transformed the way I think about life. Other really good ones are by Brian Weiss--Many Lives, Many Masters and one of my favorite true love stories ever, Only Love is Real. I agree with Paul that the content of these kinds of reads makes life seem so much more meaningful and purposeful. I do agree with the authors that we are born to a time and place and make connections with others because we chose to do so for a specific reason. There's just way too much serendipity and love in the world for it to be otherwise.
Laynara, moms make the best college students. Know that your instructors will love you, and there are all kinds of programs designed for and financial supports available to moms attending college. If you call up any local college or university, they will be eager to get you enrolled and go out of their way to do so, because enrollments are declining as the numbers of Boomer baby Millennials are declining; they simply want any money they can get. At the same time, many college and university environments have people who truly love connecting with students and will love all over you. Listen to the way doors open and close and go through the one that makes you feel good.
Hello everyone,
I just joined the forum, but I've been coming to eavesdrop for about a year. I know it sound like I'm a creep lol
I decided to join because I need help getting through, coping and trying to make sense of all of the awful things going on around me. Some background about me. I live in California and I'm a DACA recipient in the age of Trump. I got to say, I AM SCARED, wow! I don't think I have ever wrote that before, I don't say it out loud either. There are days like today when pessimism gets the best of me and I think that a DACA deal will not be reached, and my mind drifts to dark places. The only thing keeping me afloat is my son, my beautiful 3 year old. My future is uncertain, but it is the future of my son that worries me most. The lives of thousands of people are in the balance, and I learn daily from headlines of what potentially could be my future; it's all so exhausting.
For the longest time I've had dreams, dreams that would come true. I never made anything of it, it was part of my life. Then Trump came to the picture, and I was trying to find answers, but nothing relevant would come to me, and that's how I stumbled upon this wonderful place.
Thank you all for your wisdom, and for the hope you bring to not only to me, but this community.
PS. sorry for stalking your site Jeanne.
Welcome Aang!
I am so very glad you found us. There is nothing more beautiful or powerful than the love and and presence of a child in our life. They open our eyes, our hearts, and our love for one another in a whole new way! They change how we look at life, our world, and our hopes and fears suddenly take on a whole new meaning.
We all want a better world for ouselves, our children and our children's children. And together we will find our way through the challenges of this time in history.
Thank you so much for joining us!!!
Michele in Salem, Oregon
Thank you so much for the warm welcome. "we will find our way through the challenges of this time in history." That is exactly what I so much yearn for, to find a way, to find answers.
I can only pray to the good Spirit for something good to happen soon.
Thank you for your wisdom.
Aang, as I read your second post, I heard the words, “be at peace.” Those words are meant for you. You are not alone. There is tremendous love and energy surrounding the DACA community and that love and light is coming to you from all kindred spirits in this country who care deeply that you should be protected. Be at peace.
Aang, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It must be torturous for you. It infuriates me that this administration, which blindly operates on fear and willful ignorance, has created so much unnecessary grief, pain, fear for DACA recipients. Ripping families apart. I still have trouble wrapping my head around this xenophobic, sociopathic agenda to end DACA. It almost feels like they're doing this just to please Trump's xenophobic base -- I don't know the logic or the reasoning behind it. Yet I do have hope for you, we all have hope for you. The comforting part to me is that you are in California and I'd say that's probably the best state to be in -- CA has proactively stood up for its DACA recipients by suing the Trump administration, so there's a start. CA thinks you and your son are worth fighting for --- because you are. You are a human being first, before anything else, and a mother whose son needs her--- and to me that is all that matters, not whether you have the right papers. We are all here to support you. We feel so helpless and useless that we can't do more to stand up for you, except for protesting on social media and hoping that Congress might listen to our opinions. Sending loving vibes and positive thoughts your way --- please keep up the hope and stay strong for your precious son!
Yes, California is safer than other conservative states, it still feels like we are not safe anywhere. Believe it or not, there is a proposition to split California and make a New California because conservatives do not agree with most of our policies. This reminds me of a Prediction I read here: "...California will become as close to an independent country as it can without seceding."
I continue to fight to keep my head above the water, to stay afloat.
Thank you, for standing up for us, for fighting with us, but most of all, for seen us as human beings.
Going to ask for RV support here. Have been asked to 'look into' the future regarding investments. What is safe? What is going to crash?
What I've gotten so far is that large banks will be relieved of regulation, hyperinflate without it, and when the collapse comes, will use 'clawbacks' of investor funds to make up their deficit. So--no large bank investments.
Also, many organizations and countries are divesting from carbon companies (oil, gas, coal). This will cause the value of those stocks to plummet. So not there, either. US Treasury Bonds don't 'feel right' -- all I get are images of DC as Rome after its invasion by the Vandals.
The positive hints I've gotten are: speculate a small amount on the Chinese Bourse (wtf is a bourse?) and watch Norway. Also something fuzzily positive on small community banks.
If anyone would like to look into sound investment strategies via sniffing timelines and RV, I'd appreciate the help.
Warm Regards, all. -R1-
Hello everyone,
I was was wondering if the Predictions under Jan. 2018 were done on the Jan.22 reading, or is it from a previous reading? This one in particular: "Children crying, Noooo! It’s about the forsaking of DACA and children who will be sent back to old country, and adults who came here as children being sent back. (Jeanne) Children crying. (Kathryn) DACA protests. (Bin)"
I don't wish this to be inappropriate, I would like to ask if anyone has seen anything regarding us DACA recipients. We really appreciate everyone who can help us out looking into what the future has for us. We continue to fight, but we are loosing protection every day and living in uncertainty is the worst feeling there is. Thank you very much for all you guys do.