@dannyboy Thank you for your beautiful post. I love reading about how you’re approaching next week and all your preparation. Responsible people do responsible things. And I love your compassion for your dance partner/friend, for your coworkers and your beloved family.
Two things come to mind: you will get all your arrangements sorted out and secondly, all will be well for you and your wife’s cousin. Everything will be okay. (It feels outrageous of me to be so wildly confident and reassuring, but buddy, this is what I’m getting. I’m just passing on what I’m picking up.) I will send you peace of mind and strength in the days ahead and will send healing next week. Rock on.
A postscript to my Revolving Rooftop Lounge Post and my post above if you will.
The person who shot our story was a former student. I knew them by a different name and gender, but after the interview was over they introduced themselves again as the name and gender she was transitioning to and I instantly grabbed them and gave them the biggest hug of my life - and I've hugged. I've hugged hard. I hugged her because I know the community she came from and this is a thing that - at very best - they're only passively tolerant of. But I hugged her to welcome her to a community of people who will not "just tolerate" her, but will love her and support her and welcome her for who she is both inside and out and while I think she expected me to be supportive, I'm not sure she expected what she got from me instead.
I made a new friend today. She's incredible.
I just want to tell you how much you are appreciated and loved. By me, by our community and apparently the rest of the world who has gotten a chance to know you.
You have taken us on your incredible journey and we are all the better for it. And for knowing you in the small way we have been blessed in knowing you here in our community.
Godspeed my friend! You are definitely that stone thrown into the pond with all the beautiful ripples you're creating.
We just checked into hospital housing. We took a long meandering road down here including some retail therapy at the outlet malls north of Flint.
I wanted to share my last two social posts - this one from today. I’ll share tomorrow’s tomorrows. You know my ask for healing and emotional support. I heart you all. This was my post today. (Photo from 1979 - my dad reading to me as a baby.)
#DonateLife transplant tomorrow!
When Kevin told us four years ago he’d need a liver, the universe told me seconds later he’d get it and it would be mine. I’ve never known anything with more certainty in my life. This is a scary procedure and not without its risks, but that certainty from the universe has carried over into today, Transplant-eve, which is a very significant day for another major reason: It was on the 21st day of May, twenty one years ago that I lost my father.
It was a Monday. I was slated to graduate college with my teaching degree that Saturday. I got the call during my last day of student teaching, a day I subsequently abandoned to get home. We buried him that Thursday. I finished my practicum on Friday. I graduated on Saturday. I get all my OCD tendencies from him - that’s undeniable. But too many people in this world write other people off without knowing their true story. Whether it’s a person who complains about the laziness of the homeless when they see them on the streets without seeking to understand the why, or those who see someone in distress who choose to walk by.
We all have our conscious or unconscious biases. He exemplified strength and determination. He got frustrated easily but still saw the good in people. It’s easy to complain about the state of the world today and do nothing to put some good out there. This man taught me you often have to put that good out there yourself if you want to see it come back.
This thing I’m doing tomorrow is me trying to do just that - put the good I want to see out into the world in the hopes I’ll see more of it. But I’m also not nearly as nervous as I should be. The universe cleared this path for me, and with the procedure proper taking place the day after the anniversary of the day he passed away, I know he’s going to be there joining all the prayers and energy you’ve been sending my way these past few weeks. I feel fine about tomorrow because too many things that shouldn’t have fallen into place fell into place to make this happen.
I’m nearing the end of this journey and it’s important to underscore what I took from this guy. Don’t like the state of the world right now? You have two options. That’s it. You can complain in complacency and accept the bad you see as status quo, or rise in compassion and empathy and shape the world as you want to see it. I know which of these paths I’m trying to be on.
What a wonderful message to share!
The date (not a coincidence) is certainly a beautiful message to you. Without a doubt, your father (and many others) will be watching over you. I sense his love for you and I'm hearing the words " my sweet boy!" I'm also hearing you are "a gift".
I see a vision of block walls/buildings being knocked down from this loving act. Poof! You will shatter hardened hearts and teach people to think in new evolved ways. I believe this message is from Spirit.
P.S. I don't often pick up what departed loved ones say, but I do believe this to be accurate.
Transplant Day. At this exact moment, as I wait for the procedure to begin, I think of less scary times and keep these humans - my tribe, my pack, my heart in my thoughts. I’m sure some of you have wondered why they haven’t featured prominently in these posts before - the reason is because I saved this post for today. When I told Shannon 4 years ago that I would be the one to give Kevin my liver, Shannon in particular rolled her eyes and told me “Blood relatives first hon.” Maybe we all thought that would come to pass, but it couldn’t. And the twins of course were only 9 so it didn’t register. When the time finally came for me to step up to the plate last year, we sat down and talked about it as a family. Everyone was instantly on board. We made sure E and L understood what this meant, what this could mean, and what it would mean for the foreseeable future. I don’t know how I got so lucky in that these are not your typical 13-year-old girls - their caring, compassion, empathy, and wisdom have always been beyond their years. It’s been a beacon to me. They were happy I could do this thing for another human. They were stoic through two days of testing (it helped that it backed up to the P!nk concert last summer) and have celebrated every success in my health journey getting to this point.
This is the strangest path to walk and they walked it with me every step, encouraging me. Cheering me. Giving me endurance through setbacks. I’m going to be okay because these humans are here for me. I love them with all that I am. I am so grateful to be able to do this thing for another human. I’m so grateful to provide a shining example of the kinds of compassion and empathy for the struggles and journeys of other people that is often so clearly lacking in this world. I’m so grateful to them. Telling this story this month has been therapeutic.
I hope you have learned something about organ donation, and how living donation may not be a path everyone WILL choose to take - but that it is a path you CAN choose to take. Someone told me at the start of this journey they thought I was a superhero. I’m not. It’s easy to make a choice like this one when you know the person. I am not sure I could have done this for a stranger. But the point is, you can’t do any of this on your own (Cue Lazlo Bane Scrubs Theme here) and you’re not a superhero if you possess a power everyone possesses. Every one of you can be an organ donor - living or deceased.
But more importantly, and the other reason I wrote all these posts is that everyone can choose to be a good human, to do good things, to do good works, to put aside their biases and judgment and try to see the best in the world and the people who live here. I fail at this often. I don’t stop trying. See you on the other side of this journey! Thank you for reading these posts all month. I heart you all. Put the good you want to see into the world. Even if you don’t want to. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if it’s too hard. Think of ripple effects in a pond. Go out of your way to be kind. Today. Tomorrow. Every day. Be good humans.
-DannyBoy
Thank you for sharing all these times and the emotions, thoughts,efforts that went in to it. You truly walk your talk. You and yours also help remind of us of the good and the love that is present in our world.
Have been and will continue holding you and yours in my prayers and sending much Light,Love and Healing Energy for the Highest Good of all concerned. "see you " when you come to the other side of this epic Journey.
@lovendures I just want to say thank you first for checking in- gratitude for that loving kindness…
it was an emotionally exhausting mtg- I had some colleagues who I was truly touched by how well they understood my daughter. her classroom teacher was overwhelmed and defensive- but there are two separate issues- his classroom management which is secondary but connected and the safety and security of my child. We updated her 504 and I hope, I think we have a good plan going forward- she’s off to middle school in a few months and we are looking at alternatives to the inner city public schools bc they’re too chaotic for her- as a public school teacher i never thought that would be an option but this kid needs something different- she’s extremely sensitive to noise and chaos and she carries a lot. Internal family systems and talking to her ‘parts’ has helped me a lot- but she feels like her anger and fear keep her safe bc they have in past situations- but we’re working on it!
@elaineg I am sending prayers for healing for Lady G. May her immune system strengthen and overcome the illness, and may she be relieved of the worry and stress that accompanies it. Blessings and peace to you for caring and bringing this to our attention. ❤️
@Dannyboy's liver donor story:
FYI @Dannyboy is a regular and beloved blogger on this forum. Months ago, he agreed to donate a portion of his liver to his wife's cousin. He was the only family member with a compatible blood type, even though he is not a blood relative.
His wife's cousin, Kevin, has a childhood liver disease that has a fatal diagnosis, unless he can receive a liver. The transplant surgery involves a donor who donates about a third of his liver to a recipient. Both the donor and the recipient's new liver grow back into a full liver.
Both Dannyboy and Kevin are married with young children. Dannyboy, who lost his own father as a child, decided to become a donor, saying he wanted to see his wife's cousin's children grow up with their father.
He was told he could be a donor, provided he lost 50 pounds and got into good shape. He proceeded to rise every morning before work and do a remarkable workout, changed his diet, and lost ALL of the weight and more. He basically rebuilt his body and lost the excess fat in his liver in order to qualify. It's a highly techical operation, that involved the donor team creating a 3-D model of his liver.
Here is some general info on how liver transplant surgeries go:
The actual donor operation takes six to eight hours. The recipient and donor are in separate operating rooms at the same time, and a team of surgeons performs each surgery simultaneously. An incision in the shape of a hockey stick is made in the upper right abdomen of the donor. Approximately one-third to two-thirds of the liver is removed, depending on anatomy and what is needed for the recipient. The gallbladder is also removed as part of the surgery. Care is taken to ensure that there is sufficient liver remaining for normal liver function in the donor.
Immediately following surgery, the donor is taken to a post-operative recovery room for observation and is then transferred to a surgical ICU overnight. If the recovery is proceeding as expected, the donor is then transferred to the transplant floor. Activity and diet are resumed very soon after that, and the donor remains in the hospital for approximately five days.
After leaving the hospital, donors are encouraged to slowly resume normal activity. Most donors return to work six to eight weeks after surgery, depending on the nature of their job. Donors will have several follow-up visits after the surgery ensure that the healing process is successful and a full recovery is achieved.
We will keep you informed on his progress here and in the Circle of Light thread.
@dannyboy May you both be surrounded by angels today. You and your wife’s cousin are very much on my heart and mind and I am sending you love and protection.
@dannyboy Thank you for your incredible posts about your journey. As you stated, big or small, the light we share through our actions creates more light in the world. Reminded me of this great graphic I saw over the weekend.
We will all be sending light today and in the coming days as this amazing journey continues. Take good care and much love to you, Kevin and your families!
Best wishes @dannyboy for a very non eventful recovery!!!
May Kevin's new liver grow and thrive, allowing him to lead a long and happy life!!!
Thank you for being a donor.
A shout out to NMDP, formerly known as Be the Match , a marrow donor organization. Another way people can be a living donor for those with blood cancers.
My husband had a bone marrow transplant back in 2017, and Be the Match found him a donor in Poland. Being predominantly one ethnicity helps. Our sons were a no go. Greg's sister was a good match, but the docs were not happy about her age and the fact she gave birth in the past. 😏
That same donor was still available last year to help Greg once again for a "booster" of sorts, but Greg passed before they could do the procedure. 💔
So thank you to the guy in Poland, who could help a guy in Ohio.
Dannyboy's wife just texted me: Dannyboy is out of surgery he did great. They had minimal bleeding and he never needed a blood transfusion. They have one drain placed to support the bile duct. Team is working to wake him up and then I can see him. He should not need to go to the ICU. They are still dissecting Kevin’s liver so he will be another 4+ hours