Forum Confessional Booth ?

@stargazer

Not a sin at all, however if you wet or poop yourself while laughing and don't tell us, that is a sin.

@mas1581

Hahaha ... ?

Hey Mas ... see that's what Ima talkin' about. You have been around too many toddlers, and need a vaycay! (For grownups.)

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@stargazer

You have no idea. Our daughter is 8 now and over the last 4 years, we(me being the work from home/stay at home parent) have had 7 others. The worst was winter 2018-19. We had our then 6 year old, a 13 month old, twin 7 month olds, and the twins' 8 year old sister who I swear is truly evil. My wife started working late all of a sudden at that time and miraculously stopped when the 8 year old went to another home. 

She seriously scared us. We caught her standing over her 7 month old brother with a pillow saying "I want him to stop crying NOW!" with eyes like Charles Manson. Scared the hell out of us. We ended up putting in a request to move her for the safety of the other 4 kids at that point and for the 3 weeks it took we hid all the knives and scissors in the house amd would sleep in shifts so she didn't do anything while we were both sleeping. 

@Unk-p, ? ? ?!!   I especially loved the "It was 2016. November" punchline.

Do you have your wonderful life stories recorded somewhere?  Your beautifully sensitive insights, and your lovably wicked wit?  There's a book in you, I just know it.  

Okay so the burger thing.

I was taken  off the meds that were making me sick. The newest doc thought I was becoming anemic. He told to me to have a burger for dinner.

I have not had a burger in 10 years. I sent my boyfriend, who is a butcher, out to find me the most delicious burger in the universe. and he did. I was only able to eat a bite or two but I ate that burger for a full week.

During my last reading my father came through and showed a burger, and the message was, "Slow down! Stop stress eating. Watch the junk food " Besides that burger I crave sugar every single day...like my dad did. ;) I felt slightly guilty, but I tell you what, it was the most delicious advice from a doctor, EVER!

@dannyboy

"I'm terrible and it must be stopped."

I laughed so hard at this. I turn off my video entirely for my first  of many students of the day so I can lounge around in bed in my pajamas for a few more hours...

oh no! I must be terrible too and I MUST BE STOPPED!!! hahahahah

wow, thanks @deetoo!  i am still laughing about @mas1581 's mile-long Saran Wrap funeral. Ha!  This whole thread is a gas, @stargazer ! 

Yea @stargazer. This was a fabulous idea. There really was no place to just be lighthearted and silly for no reason because there is always some negative topic underlying in any conversation on here. I love that this is becoming a thread where we can act like fools and have fun with it.

Four years ago, I was a guest at a family's house, and my hosts had several PostSecret coffee table books. For those of you who don't know, PostSecret is a project that was started by a guy in the Washington, D.C., area in 2004. People send him postcards on which they've written their personal secrets, and he publishes them online or in book compilations. Some of the secrets are sad. Some are mysterious. Some are inspirational. Some are just plain funny. The world needs more laughter, so I figured I'd share the funniest secrets I still remember:

• "There's an ice cream shop next to my post office. Sometimes, I send mail just so I can have a milkshake, and I don't bring ANYTHING back for the kids. In fact, sending this postcard is a good excuse to try their new flavor."
• "I hate working as a janitor for arrogant rich people, so i clean their keyboards with a toilet brush."
• "MY FAMILY'S SECRET INGREDIENT IS ALMOND EXTRACT!"
• "When I was little, I thought lasagna was made from elephant ears."
• "When friends send me emails, I wait several days to respond so that they'll think I have better things to do."

I came across some pretty hilarious raunchy secrets too, but I'm refraining from posting them here.

My wife strikes again. Last night she was too lazy to go find her phone so she signed into her email on our daughter's iPad because it was right there. This morning, my daughter goes "hey mommy, Nordstrom sent you something and its a really cute dress. It will be here Friday. I just saw the email I'm not in the app."

She forgot to sign out of it and my daughter got the push notification for it and read it. That was one of her Xmas presents and now my wife has to explain that one away on the 25th because our daughter still believes in Santa. Hahahaha ?‍♂️

@unk-p

I must confess ...I am very disappointed and a little bit mad at Bobby Dylan right now! He has purportedly sold out finally & completely his 600 song repertoire for gahmillions... yes, all songs and all rights.

Does this mean what I think it does? He is 79 (?) now... 

Nothing should surprise us anymore ... wish Tom Petty was still around ?

@stargazer i really don't know what to think about that. I tried to read about it but just ended up going down the rabbit hole, listening to great covers of Dylan songs by other artists.  Maybe i will post some of them tonight in the lounge or in the music thread?

ps- i hear you about Tom Petty.  I got to see him and Dylan when they toured together, on my 21st bday

@unk-p

It's possibly Dylan's latest identity crisis lols, or maybe just senility? Una-believable...

Can't wait to hear all of the classics in the elevator now courtesy of ' Muzak' ?

@mas1581

Looks like it will be a present from you guys and not Santa...hahaha.

@lovendures isn't it funny how @mas1581 is like "I have a confession- you won't believe what my wife did..."  heheh

@unk-p

I already made my confession. Now I'm just telling funny stories of the comedy that is my life

@mas1581 don't ever stop ?

@mas1581

You should have your own YT channel Mas ?

Just beware of writing the same equation on the wall with a crayon over n over n over.........

@stargazer

Our kids' pediatrician said my wife and I should start a YouTube channel because we are so entertaining. I just don't want fans otherwise I would. 

Who was it, again, that said I was too serious and needed to joke more? ?

Posted by: @mas1581

She seriously scared us. We caught her standing over her 7 month old brother with a pillow saying "I want him to stop crying NOW!" with eyes like Charles Manson. Scared the hell out of us.

When my daughter was under the age of two, could not speak so much, she sat bolt right up in bed one night and in a clear, concise, adult voice stated "I'm not having his baby" and then went right back to sleep.  I think it scarred me for life, she's now in her twenties, and it's been an adventure, but I am like, no pressure there's no obligation for grandchildren. Even writing this, the hair on my neck is standing on end and someone is walking on my grave - probably my grandchild!