Forum Confessional Booth ?

@stargazer i just love you, and the idea of this thread cracks me up! Now i gotta go do something real bad, so that i can confess it.

ps- the Impossible burger is meatless, and it tastes just like a Whopper- you know, ... bland.   (I gave up red meat 30 years ago for the same reasons as you.)

Posted by: @unk-p

...it tastes just like a Whopper- you know, ... bland.

Bland??? A Whopper, bland???  Blasphemy!  ?

@unk-p

Thank you Unk ?

I hope the god of mirth blesses us all with a little more humor right about now... 

I must confess that I can't get into holidays this year, but I did order the Cinnamon Gift Box from our favorite spice purveyor. Maybe I'll get into baking lotsa cookies ....

As for that burger thing ..I tried the Beyond brand (?) bad!! But haven't tried the 'Impossible' yet. Make like Don Quixote ...

Hey, you don't have to do anything really bad to visit the Confessional Booth, like step on baby praying mantis' or pick up your kitty cat by the tail ... just smile ?

Posted by: @stargazer

like step on baby praying mantis

I have something to confess. When I was 11 years old, my extended family rented a house on the NC Outer Banks. The day we moved in, there was a really unusual, large butterfly sitting motionless on the the side of the house in the pool area. It was mostly brown, but had white, yellow, and black spots on its wings; I bet it was endemic only to the Outer Banks. I reached down to stroke it and was surprised to find out that butterfly wings are actually soft and silky. I pinched it, I guess to check the thickness, and the butterfly reflexively started flapping its wings. Unfortunately, because I was pinching it, one of its wings ripped. After that, it just flopped on the ground, and I'm assuming it died soon after.

I still feel bad about that butterfly ? .

@stargazer

I can guarantee that horsemeat isn't in hamburgers. First, my wife is a food scientist(the one responsible for all those chemicals you can't pronounce on the ingredient label) and she has done work with many fast food chains. Secondly, horsemeat is an extreme delicacy in several countries. Put bluntly, it's way too expensive to let get mixed up in cheap hamburger. Plus, there is specific licensing you need to produce horsemeat in the US and no cattle farm is going to pay for that license and no licensee is going to waste their time producing beef when horsemeat makes so much more money. 

Now for my confession.

I stay up well after everyone has gone to bed for the sole purpose of being left the hell alone for a couple hours. With a wife, an 8 year old, and twin 2 year olds and all the drama of fostering and keeping those 4 sane during covid I need it to keep myself sane. My wife thinks its because of my back hurting that I'm up late and I have never corrected her because if she finds out the real reason she's going to stop allowing me to do it and nag me to death to go to bed at a reasonable hour. 

@coyote

Aww ... it's sad ?... I had a similar experience as a six year old, and have never forgotten it either....

I'm sure you have been forgiven, Coyote, but if you are still wincing over it, try planting a buddleia bush or other butterfly attracting plant, and bless the memory ?

@mas1581

Please don't get me started on the horse slaughter for 'human consumption' issue right here, my friend.

I am a long time and very concerned advocate for anti-horse slaughter, in our country and others such as Mexico, Japan, Canada, France, etc ...

It's a terrible, terrible issue that has, (and still does) ,caused me untold grief, dollars , blood sweat and tears, for a very long time ... so I'll do an update on that sometime...

It sounds like your 'guilty pleasure' of a little solitude and me-time is well deserved Mas ... give yourself a pat on the back and say three Hail Spirits ?

@mas1581 - 100% the same.  Only, I only do it on weekends (Friday and Saturday nights, though with work from home being the norm right now I often stay up weeknights too since my commute is nonexistent.)

Only difference is my wife knows it has nothing to do with back pain.  She is a "The television must be on for background noise at all times" person and I can't handle that, so this is my time away from everyone to enjoy the quiet.

I'll play the confession game.  There are other things that probably should be mentioned, but I'll go for absolution from my current crime.

There are Work from Home days when I am the model of productivity.  And then there are days like today where I'm really just responding to emails as they come in and not doing much else.  

But my two biggest WFH sins -- I am wearing the same pair of sweatpants (I've washed them guys) since the new WFH mandate began, despite our employer strongly requesting we get dressed as normal.  I call it the professional mullet:  "Regular work shirt on top, sweat pants on the bottom." in the professional world's twist on "Business up top, party in the back" 

The second - Zoom meetings have increased, but the number of Zoom meetings that could have been emails have also increased.  I have recorded a video background of me sitting attentively in my living room, complete with occasional nods (but mostly emotionless face) and the random "drink from my coffee" - In the bad Zoom meetings I log in and start this video background then walk away and do important stuff.

I'm terrible and must be stopped.

@dannyboy

My wife calls an oversized Hoodie and pajama pants my "work uniform" since most of my business(when it was still profitable) is all phone and computer work and she's notorious for a designer sweater over a t-shirt with yoga pants since WFH started for her. 

As far as the prerecorded zoom, that's BRILLIANT! I've gotta give her that idea since she just tilts the screen too far up so she can eat and play candy crush during zoom meetings without anyone knowing. 

@mas1581 I recommend waiting about 5 minutes into the meeting for the obligatory introductions to take place.  I pretend I'm having camera issues until then.  There's nothing quite like the whole "Crap, they want me to say hello" and miraculous instant "costume change" :P.  And make sure the cat doesn't come to investigate otherwise they get to peer behind the green curtain and see the wizard ?.

@coyote. Does it help to know that most butterflies only live 7 to 10 days? That is such a little kid trauma.  When I was that age, we were spending the summer in Florida and my 8 year old little girl dream was to catch a chameleon.   I thought they were the cutest things and every time I saw one on the ground, I'd lunge for it, but they'd escape quickly into the bushes. One day I entered the outdoor shower attached to our house and there in the shower on the concrete floor was a chameleon with nowhere to hide from me.  I dropped to the floor and grabbed him by the tail.  But his tail, to my horror, snapped right off and he escaped, leaving the disembodied tail wriggling in my hand. I dropped the tail in horror and ran from the shower screaming. Okay, so I didn't kill the guy because it turns out that their tails grow back.

  I was very angry one night.  So angry, i couldn't sleep.  I knew i had to find a way to express it, to get it off my chest.  Remembering that i had a large amount of black paint, i took it out to the intersection by my house.  The normally busy street was deserted, not a car in sight.  Using enormous block letters, the three words i painted filled the entire intersection.

  The next day when i went out to examine my work, a city truck pulled up. I innocently asked the lone worker what was up.  He said he received a complaint about obscene graffiti painted in the street.  He looked at it, and then told me that the only thing the boss had given him for the job was one half-empty can of black spray paint, and we both rolled our eyes.

  When i came back later, i saw how he fixed it:  he had simply changed my letter "F" to the letter "B".  The message in the street now read 

                                    "BUCK THE WORLD"

  Oh, and this didn't happen when i was just some punky teenager.  It was in 2016.  November.

@unk-p

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Posted by: @dannyboy

random "drink from my coffee" 

My Zoom confession is that if it's after noon and I know it's going to be a boring meeting, there's wine in the coffee cup. 

@unk-p

Best......story......ever

My wife and I just had a funeral for plastic wrap. No joke. We really did.

When we were still dating, we went to a huge restaurant supply store to pick up a few things. Halfway thru the store she decided we needed plastic wrap and insisted we buy it there. The only wrap they had was commercial size-same width but 5000' in length. This crazy woman bought a mile of plastic wrap. 

Fast forward to today-10 1/2 years later. She comes running out of the kitchen yelling "we did it! Its gone!" I had no clue what she was talking about until she showed me the empty roll from that plastic wrap. Took over a decade but we used it all. She then insisted we had to ha e a funeral for it since it lasted longer than anything we have bought as a couple. Lol

@lowtide

My sentiments exactly ... 

?????

Is it a sin to laugh so hard that you fall off your chair and keep on laughing 'til your tummy hurts and you can't stand up?

I just love you all ???