@coyote Sending you light and love that you will find peace while this gets sorted out. So sorry you are going through this.
@coyote I’m very sorry that you are dealing with this I will lift you up in prayer that the very best outcome present itself and that you receive peace and healing.
@coyote Such a delicate situation for you. No wonder you couldn't sleep. I am in such admiration of your talents and spirit.
I am sending light and clarity to you and your medical team and your family for the best possible path for healing for you. Is there someone on your medical team whom you most feel aligned with, who can sit with you and hear all your considerations and help you with your decision?
There's my therapist. I see her tomorrow and talking with her will probably help me sort through my emotions. My oncologist is at least open to continue the Avastin and put off surgery, which is a relief since she is the gatekeeper for authorizing the infusions. I usually resonate with my neurologist (who I've been seeing since 2006). I have to send him separate emails to explain my reasoning, since I didn't have time to go through all of my thoughts yesterday.
Your intelligence, clarity, powerful communication skills, and rigorously supportive, varied community are all assets that will guide you through this. You are a very strong young man, loved by many people and ancestral spirits.
@coyote You’re already forming a plan that creates an opening for the healing work to come…billy mike is just so right- you are surrounded with love and not alone.
Sending continued light and blessings to you and all who are working on your behalf.
Sending supportive energy waves through the ether.
Please ignore the following if it isn't helpful...
I have been in the uncomfortable position of having to decide on surgery without feeling grounded. In retrospect, I could have been helped by a surgeon that fully explained why the previous surgery was unsuccessful and what the next steps should be. Unbelievably, I didn't get that. Instead, the information presented to me was truncated, omitting extremely important information which would have altered my choice.
So, when Marigold wisely suggests having someone to talk to, both the therapist and the neurologist could help, especially since you trust them, but it sounds like more information regarding the surgery could also be useful. Maybe you already have it but just in case..You say that the tumor is on your right inner ear but it sounds like you dread total deafness. Have the doctors made it clear what hearing loss could occur by removing this tumor? Only right ear or complete? Can they estimate the likelihood of each outcome? (I do not expect answers, I just want you to have them.) Is there more information to be had regarding the risk of bleeding problems with Avastin?
I don't know where you are but topnotch specialists all around the country consult (without charge) on difficult cases and now they can do it remotely. Anyway, you get my point, I want you to have the maximum information on which to base your decision.
I will envision a guide, human and/or non-human, who can help you navigate this challenging path. I will envision calm, clear place in which you make the best decision/s for your health and well-being. And of course, I will picture a happy outcome.
Good vibrations coming your way...❤️
@coyote You have shared your warrior's journey with us for several years. I feel your courage and your pain and frustration. I hope you feel us enfolding you in our love and lifting you up. I especially resonate with @Raincloud's message to you, which I would read a few times. Important as @Marigold has wisely suggested, to speak to your therapist so you learn where you are in all of this. But I too have delayed or foregone treatments because I was not comfortable with the procedures only to discover later that my discomfort was because I didn't have the best information. Had I had better information, I would have benefited from going forward. I also resonate with Raincloud making sure you have sought out the very top surgeons for their advice.
I am sending angels and their human counterparts to surround you and guide you in this process and keep you safe and help you to thrive throughout this passage of your life.
@coyote My impulse is to say to wait on the surgery. But I am neither a physician nor a skilled psychic reader. You are your own best reader. You and your angels. I think... take a walk in nature- on the beach if possible-- and sit with them.
What I know for sure is that you have plenty of important "stuff" to do on the planet and things are unfolding as they need to.
@coyote, have you considered having your therapist talk directly to your doctors? Speaking dr. to dr. might alleviate the truncation & allow you to get a greater insight into all the options to get more grounded & to allow a more informed choice. I'll be sending light your way.
I'm also not really in tune myself right now. I've noted in the past that I get dreams of impending ill fates for family. I've recently seen my mother (she's passed) waiting to escort dad, & my sister leaping from a non-survivable height. She was diagnosed with a terminal ailment 6.5 years ago. Average lifespan after diagnosis is 3-5 years. Today she was admitted to the hospital with diverticulosis. I feel this is the high place I saw in my dreams a few weeks ago. I feel she & dad will leave in very close proximity to each other. Dad has been slipping noticably on nearly a daily basis lately. Both have incurable ailments, so even without the dreams I could see this coming. A few prayers for the highest & easiest outcome for each would be appreciated.
I'm not into astrology, but somehow this Saturday's eclipse keeps coming to mind for each of us.