@dannyboy My husband and I stopped buying holiday gifts for each other a long time ago. He's impossible to buy for. We decide on something we want, or want to do, together and that is our gift to each other. It probably sounds terrible, but I stopped "doing" Christmas when my children left home. All the money spent, forced jollity because it was a certain time of year, was and is such a turnoff for me. And my husband feels the same way, thankfully. I work the Christmas holidays so my young coworkers can be with their families. I don't mind a bit and they are so grateful! So I guess it works out.
I'm not a Grinch, but a content non participant.
@lowtide I’m so with you! I’m not super religious but I feel like the meaning of the season is now tied completely to “things” and “stuff”
update: after only doing one thanksgiving we came home and put up our tree. I’m more relaxed than I’ve ever been this time of year. Tonight we venture out to Boones training and then come home and won’t even leave pajamas tomorrow. What a great Thanksgiving this has been!
The power of No.
Also the power of Yes. Visited lonely relatives for small feast today. First venture out of my home or work in weeks.
Tired but happy and thankful.
@lowtide @dannyboy @Ghandigirl We took the same tactic this year. We stayed home quietly for Thanksgiving, had people two nights later, which for me, helped with the anxiety I feel about making it a big deal Thanksgiving. We just had a nice dinner together. For Christmas it will be low key again. And my husband and I love giving each other tickets to events and/or gift certificates to restaurants for when we want to go out. This change helps us focus on enjoying the people not the performance and the stuff aspect of the holiday.
@jeanne-mayell I love everything about this! 💖
@lovendures I don't have much money, but I buy Christmas for my daughter (her husband came home- fingers crossed). Also starting in March, I buy a couple or so toys a month for the next Christmas. Staring in December, I take a couple of toys each day to the free table at the local laundry mat. I know they have Toys for Tots, angel trees, and church lists, but people fall through the cracks. I spend $5 to $15 a toy. It makes me feel in the mood. Music doesn't do it.
How we spend our holidays says so much about our culture. Taking back these holidays from doing the bidding of the commercial world to having a shared relaxed loving experience, and, yes, yes, yes, @lovendures, in our pjs all day (ha ha) is how I want to spend time with my loved ones.
I don't want to make the focus of the holiday a big pile of store bought stuff that we open and open and open all morning. All that stuff kind of depresses me, to be honest. I used to always feel that Thanksgiving was my favorite holiday because there were no presents. But then there became a frenzy of loading the dinner table with a ton of perfect, expensive gourmet treats, outdoing ourselves making it a Martha Stewart perfect dinner. Maybe that wasn't your holiday, but I picked up on that frenzy in the collective and in the supermarkets, and it made me anxious that I too had to do all that, and I had to let it go or skip the holiday.
I too did a scaled-back Thanksgiving meal. I've always been the one to cook it, for years now, and it had turned into such a burden. This year I cooked a meal that our family might eat on a weeknight, except we had a fancier dessert (chocolate mousse) and brought out the nice tablecloth, china, serving ware, candles, and music. It was festive without, as Jeanne mentioned, turning into an exhausting effort to create a gourmet dining experience. I don't think I'm going back to the old way at this point. :)
That is one of the advantages of having Christmas in the middle of summer, everyone is on holidays, it’s hot so who wants hot food, it’s platters of cold prawns and oysters, slices of leg ham and salads or a BBQ, followed by Pavlova and for those so inclined Christmas pudding with brandy custard. The kids can play in the pool if you have one, go to the beach for a swim first or cricket in the backyard, although these days they are probably on computers etc.
For a hot Christmas meal we hold “Christmas in July” at restaurants so we can do it twice. This year I went with a group up to the Blue Mountains so it was cold outside but cosy inside for our Xmas dinner in the Grand Ballroom of the hotel we stayed at.
We might have it worked out down under.
Regards to all
Matildagirl