Sage advice - do less, stress less ... opt for homemade gifts. I make cards to gift recipient s special I know they love, or cookies or cake or pies I know they love, or other special things that I know enjoy. Of course having cataracts and a smaller circle .... and being a senior limits where and when I go... not necessarily a bad thing!
Dannyboy,
Can we do it all? Maybe.
Can we do it all well? Nope. Not a change.
I am stressed just thinking about all you normally did for the holidays.
Glad you are re-evaluating your precious time together and making a healthy change. May this be a great year for new family traditions.
And as for tires, yeah, those are a need. I would not want tires for Christmas or my birthday from my husband unless there wasn't really an option.
You don't have to wow her. Just observe what she likes or talks about. Perhaps give and "experience" together (concert, museum, overnight, day trip...)
May I also suggest going to a kitchen store together and see where she lingers. Does she like art and crafts, take her to some local shops and again notice what she likes.. Same with a body/skin care store. I often like things but have a hard time getting them for myself. I would LOVE it if someone in my family noticed what intrigued me and then gave that as a gift. It shows they are trying to connect with me and are observant.
It is a bit romantic too in a way. Especially with a nice thoughtful note.
Does that help?
@lovendures Great suggestions though I’m the chef and maid - she’s the home improver. Perhaps a new socket wrench :-P.
the gift thing is always so off for me because I’d love the extra $800 someone buying me tires would have saved me (I literally asked for my mom for them as my Christmas and birthday present my second year of teaching 20 years ago and she loved doing it because I’m hard to shop for)
my top gift of choice is “presence” over presents. My second gift of choice is a need I haven’t been able to fill on my own. The last of all possible things I want is more stuff. I’ve been like this most of my adult life. This is also why I hate gift giving 🤣
That makes perfect sense. I saw a physicians assistant tonight who qsked what I was doing for my cold. The cold that has me coughing for hours. But wants x rays. Didn't bother to actually look in my throat till I asked,
I became quietly angry..This is not a cold and I felt disrespected. I am not attention seeking,, I am sick.A fellow patient stopped to say she had heard me coughing and hoped I would feel better. A complete stranger cared more than this medical professional.
.Another holiday where my health problems keep me grounded. How many times does this have to keep happening?
@ghandigirl To be fair, medical people are traumatized by covid, but they can forget that their patients need them to also be seen as human beings that truly need them to do their job, if they can.
@dannyboy I applaud your thinking. I started really paring everything down during Covid. We had to. During that time the separation was hard but it also brought such clarity to me. If it doesn’t bring me peace or joy and if it’s not a good use of my time I will say no thank you. People sometimes think I don’t like them, I’m being difficult etc but it’s not done with any ill intent. Getting to a certain age also brings the important things into focus too. Happy thanksgiving to everyone. It’s been a very difficult year for my family. More reason to seek the light and peace. May you all experience joy in the simplest things. We are blessed.
@tgraf66 I just had arthroscopic surgery on my knee. I'm almost a month out from the surgery and today had my first physical therapy appointment. It sounds like your surgeon has prepped you well for what to expect post-op. I want to offer you a few hints since I'm still in it.
You will need someone to stay with you after surgery. You are going to be in pain. You will need someone to fill your ice packs, provide food for you and help you move around.
It's difficult if you're an active person to rest and heal, but you must. It's a great time to catch up on your favorite shows and binge watch some new ones!
I wish you all the best and the most intense healing energy. Mentally prepare yourself for being out of commission for a while. I wish I had done that!
@lowtide I appreciate the advice. I'll definitely take it to heart...or shoulder, as the case may be. I live with my mom, so having someone here will not be an issue, and despite her age, taking care of others is what she lives for, so she will be in her element. ;-) I'm not a very active person; In fact, I'm pretty dang lazy at the best of times, so this will just give me good excuse to sit around and do what I enjoy doing most, which is a whole lot of nothing much. 🤣 Thank you for the good wishes, and I will keep everyone updated as things progress.
I knew when I wrote about kitchen items that it seems wrong, almost sexist. hahaha
Should have followed my intuition. Maybe a trip to HomeDepot instead. hahahah
@lovendures 🤣 I settled on a $100 gift certificate to her hair salon. They do other things too so if she wants to pay for her hair and use some of the spa services with the gift certificate she can. I absolutely abhor shopping this time of year so I try to make sure I’ve gotten it all done before Black Friday so I don’t have to worry about going into stores for anything other than groceries (and Aldi doesn’t get grocery/department store kind of traffic)