If you need support, understanding, and love, let us know here.

CC21, I am so very sorry for your loss.  I am relieved your mother's passing was peaceful but know it is still very painful for you.  May your find comfort and peace.

Pacosurfer, I am sorry to hear about your dog.  I truly believe our dogs know how we feel about them.  She knew.  

CC21, I am so sorry for your lost.  There are no words to express how sorry I am.

I don't know how appropriate this is, this has never happened before, but I feel compelled to tell you that she is still among you right now, and she's smiling.  She loves you all very much. 

You have all my sympathy.  My thoughts, love and prayers are with you and your family.

Pacosurfer, I so understand what you are going through.  I had a golden retreiver named Lady Faye. I got her when I was at my lowest and she left when I was finally able to handle things on my own.  She knew all my secrets, she was an amazing, amazing dog.  We get attached to our pets, as much as they are to us.

You have all my sympathy. 

Loveendures, deetoo, Bright Opal, and Laura F. -- thank you so much for your support and love.

And Bright Opal - I am so happy to read that you were compelled to share about my mom still being with us and smiling. That really helped my heart :)

Sending love to you all as you go through your individual struggles. We are all here for each other.

Pacosurfer,

I am so sorry for your loss. 

The loving bond we share with our dog is truly something wondrous.  It is so clear how much you loved and cherished her.  She knew that.

I am in need of support and healing / loving energy / protection / understanding for a pregnancy loss. I am heartbroken. My fertility doctor is even at a bit at a loss as we went through a tremendous amount to become pregnant and this baby was known to be genetically healthy. ?? I was also told it was my last chance for my own child. Thank God we have a daughter who’s almost 3. Her light and love is helping me tremendously. I am able to be strong for her but my heart is broken. I also lost my father a few years ago. We were very close, and I miss him dearly. If not okay to post, please delete. Thank you 

Dearest Shanrip, we welcome you to our community with open arms.  Sending angels to sit with you and surround you during this heartbreak.  

Years ago while at a retreat I saw an angel floating above a woman who I didn’t know. Eventually I got closer to her and she told me she had lost a child in utero when she was a few months pregnant.  It had been four years. I realized that the little angel  had stayed with her all those years, protecting and caring, connecting her with the heavens.  

Shanrip, I am so sorry for your loss. My family too went through fertility treatment to conceive our eldest child. The process is full of hope and anxiety and lots of physical hurdles. I am sorry for the pregnancy loss. It is a heartbreak. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending you love and renewed gratitude for your 3 year old daughter-may her light buoy your soul. <3

CC21, Sending you love and light as you grieve for your mother.  Bright Opal's message I'm sure was a reassuring one. I believe love never dies and it is with us always. I am sure your Mother's love will be with you always as will your love for her. 

Pacosurfer, Our pets are family. Sending you love as you mourn your dogs crossing over the rainbow bridge.

Love to you both!

Shawn

Shanrip,

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby.  I'm sending you prayers of healing, comfort, strength and peace during this difficult time.

Pacosurfer, I am sending my love to you and your family at this difficult time. I see your loss, and I know  from losing a beloved dog years back how you're never prepared for how hard it is.

You wrote that you feared she didn't know how loved she was.  I threw a card to read your puppy and it said she felt she was a beloved member of the family.  She knew she was loved, that she belonged in the group, and she loved you back.  They feel what we feel. 

When my dog died, I couldn't bear the pain.  I just hadn't expected to hurt that much.  It helped to make a  memorial for her in our backyard, with smooth stones and a flowers.   I'd go out there when I was feeling the worst and one day a deer was there. When I approached, the deer didn't run away but just stared at me.  I felt my dog's spirit saying goodbye.

Be gentle with yourself during this time, dear friend.   We hold you with our love.

Such beautiful,  beautiful, heartfelt messages pouring out of everyone's hearts now. 

Shanrip, many here have felt your unbelievable and heartbreaking loss and if we haven't personally experienced it, then others we love dearly have.

It is a profound loss in so many deep and painful ways and we are all so touched to have you join us now and share your story with us.

Please know how deeply you have touched us all and how truly much we reach out beyond time and space to wrap you and your family up with love and whatever comfort our caring can provide .

Bless you and your family and much precious love to your beautiful daughter on earth and the little angel that was not to be but will forever and ever be a part of all of you and your hearts.

Never doubt that little one is with and loved forever as one heart with your father. Never to be alone, never to be forgotten but a part of all that is and forever will be.

???

Shanrip,

I'm sending you so much love and prayers. I hear the pain you're in.

Thank you, Jeanne.

I know she is waiting for me on the other side, along with my other doggy.

Thank you Michele, Anita, deetoo, Jeanne, and Bright Opal for your thoughts last week (if there's anyone else I missed, thank you too). My surgery went exceptionally well. Despite initially thinking he would only be able to remove 60-80% of the tumor, my surgeon was able to remove all of it in the span of 5 hours without any nerve damage to my eye. The amount of time I spent in the hospital - 33 hours - was also the record lowest amount of time I've ever been hospitalized for an operation. The early discharge was due in part to my surgeon's enlightened opinion that once patients are mobile and in a stable condition, they are better off recovering from the comfort of home. My only complaint right now is that it feels like a portion of my left face was injected with novocaine (in reality an effect of the surgical incision), and I'm still waiting for sensation to return.

deetoo: You're correct about my age; I'm in my mid-20s. I guess because I've been living with symptoms of NF2 my entire life, I've learned to integrate my disease with my sense of self (it also helps that I'm a writer, and writing is free therapy). The period from 2014 to 2017, after I went deaf in my left ear, was a particularly turbulent chapter in my life and culminated in major depression and suicidal ideation. Yet that whole experience, especially the darkness of depression, helped me acknowledge how my authenticity as a person cannot be untangled from my health trials. I'd love it if I didn't have to undergo surgery every other year; if all of my hearing was restored; and if I didn't walk with a limp. My intuition tells me these are all possibilities later in life. But I'll be a much more mature, interesting, and helpful person if I commit myself to the effortful task of holistic healing as opposed to waiting around for the medical establishment to produce some magic chemo drug. I emphasized that trait of helpfulness because I want my insights into healing to benefit the human collective as we navigate so many existential crises. So I guess I'm trying to say that integration has imbued me with a sense of purpose that transcends my particular disease.

Shanrip: Welcome to the community. I'll be sending healing medicine your way.

Oh Coyote, I was thinking about you today and wanting to write to you but now here you are telling all of us such good news.  Sending positive healing energy to your post operative body   

And yes, yes, yes — your body-mind trials at such a young age have deepened you and hone your already natural gift of healing others.  

Shanrip, I am so very sorry for your loss and how much your soul must be hurting.  May you feel the love being sent to you from all those who have read your post.

Coyote, I am so happy to hear the positive news of your recent surgery.  You have such a wonderfully positive outlook that I am sure it will help you heal.  May you continue to make positive milestones.

Coyote,

I’ve been thinking about you and am happy to hear that your surgery was so successful.  Thank you for giving so much of yourself to this community.    You are profoundly wise, loving, and a true healer.

I am sending healing light your way.

This is the evolutionary compassion that we all so needed on this site. You can feel hearts not only opening but see the heart light energies streaming out to connect us as a true circle of love.

It raises up each of us who reads here and all of us as a group.

If you go back in our archives and read about our pain at losing our own beloved family members or our so loved pets that were loved every bit as much as we could ever love a child and then for some of us a grandchild. How we grieved for lost pets, lost children and how we've wept, longer for one more day with them, you'll know you're not alone.

Love to Pacosurfer, CC21 and all I've sent messages to before. Love and healing for your pain, your losses, your intense grief. Love into and for your pain.

Love to Coyote for one more foray into surgery and for doing better than ever as the miracles of love and connection continue to grow in his own wonderously talented d gifted no matter how often painful, life.

We love all of you, those who've been here for over 2 to 2 1/2 years in this format and any who still pop in who helped Jeanne as she valiantly struggled to learn as fast as she could to create the first incarnation 3 ÷ years ago and all of us who heard a multitude of clarion calls as we've grown and learned and joined others in other communities over the almost 3 decades of getting computers, learning the bizarre language of dos and using AOL and Yahoo discs and horrible phone lines access and dot matrix perforated edges printer paper.

All of connecting with so many groups and tribes and people all over the world. Knowing our gifts, learning to manage and live with them watching our mentors and friends die along the way not knowing how to live with almost unbearable empathic pain or advanced healing energy gifts and pain of transfer and healing of so much deep pain and anger and hatred in so many hearts.

And now we're here and we're still trying, learning, growing and getting better and better. Working through pain and depression, and illness, and diseases, and treatments, and surgeries.

Learning to let go of our shadows, the alter selves filled with judgment, and anger, and hatred, and finger pointing and name calling which is the projection of a world of fear filled/hate filled people's who refuse to raise themselves up into the light of awareness.

We are doing it here as are different focus groups of light all over the world. We are not alone, no one is alone. Angelic , higher consciousness energies from the past,present and future are joining us. Feel the love, go into the blessed peace then fill yourself up with it and allow yourself its love and healing. But most of all, share it.

Share it with everyone else. Even those you consider unlovable. Even those in power. Negativity feeds on anger, feeds on hatred, feeds on bringing us to the low road wherever feels so good (for a minute until that finger is pointing back at us).

Take the high road, the very highest road. Be love personified in human form today and everyday.

This is the beginning of evolutionary consciousness. It starts with support, then compassion and empathy.

Wow, Michele.  Thank you for summing it all up.  We are joined in our compassion and during a time of collective trauma over what is happening to our governments and our earth.