It must be discouraging and frustrating to have not seen any benefits from the treatment. On the upside, there are other treatments available and it doesn't sound like any damage was done, no bridges burned.
My go-to medical institution is the Mayo clinic. I like them because they are research based and pay their physicians salaries which means that potential income to the physician is never a consideration regarding which treatment modalities are chosen. (An issue in the US)
I do not understand the medical world in the UK, but consider looking up "CSF leaks, Mayo clinic" online and see what other options are available that might be less dependent on blood clotting factors. There is one they are calling "new" that you might want to check out. I don't know how easy other treatments will be to access for you, but my gut says hope is warranted.
Sending love and light.
When I was reading your comment I kept thinking of how much alignment there is with how the collective is weathering an interminable pandemic. We all want a quantum leap forward, but we're being asked to trust the waiting and not knowing (at least that's what I'm getting when I'm meditating on my own situation). I bet you've been made aware of this, but you're not alone now, nor will you continue to be alone when success arrives. I feel compelled to direct you to Lynne McTaggart's intention experiment ( https://lynnemctaggart.com/intention-experiments/intentions-of-the-week/) You should write in, you'd make a really good focus for intentioned healing imo.
The alternative treatment that exists is fibrin glue patches.
I have had correspondence over email with a leading expert at Duke University Hospital in the US about this, but we just don't have doctors treating people with those here in the UK.
The university hospital I am currently at in the UK is one of the few places in Europe that is doing large volume blood patching. There is supporting studies which show that using larger volumes of blood has a better success rate in the absence of fibrin glue patching.
There are other ways to treat it surgically, but it requires more invasive tests such as a CT myelography and this is too risky to do in my case because there is a strong chance they can create a secondary leak because they have to penetrate the thecal sac to inject contrast into the spine.
I also follow https://clinicaltrials.gov/ all the time for the latest treatment trials and there is nothing new in the UK.
I also use a lot of useful information from the two csf leak foundations:
US: https://spinalcsfleak.org/
@coyote there has already been a lot of waiting and delays to my treatment, not just in a diagnosis which has taken 12 years but also because of the pandemic. I am glad in some ways I got the blood patch done when I did in November, because there is no chance for that now in the UK due to increasing hospitalisations from the Omicron variant.
I will certainly take a look at that link you sent me. I have used prayer intentions before through Chistian websites when I was just starting out on my journey.
Sending much love to you @allyn. I live in a very R area and know how you feel -- but.
When I look to the future with my mind, I see as you see. Nothing but trouble ahead.
But when I look with my heart -- I feel the better times coming. It is not logical, especially based on current observations.
But it is through the heart that we must go.
Sending you lots of love and strength to endure these trying times.
Gosh, I wish I had a magic wand to wave over you to solve this physical issue. Yes, the glue patch was what I hoped could be available to you. Will send healing waves your way....
Thanks everyone for keeping me in your thoughts. @ana I'm assuming the surgery is in the morning, but I won't know the precise time until the day before the surgery.
I want to thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement over the last few hours. You are indeed light warriors, and I pray the areas you live at are blessed.
I am afraid I am still pessimistic about the future. No, I won't stop fighting, and I hope that the country can ultimately turn a corner, but please realize that I have lived for four decades now. I have seen the evolution of Republicans firsthand. First, they are the Reagans, the so-called "compassionate conservatives" who deplored the loss of life from abortion but were supposedly "sympathetic" to women. Then came the Bush Republicans, hard on crime and big on patriotism. And now finally we are at the McConnell/Trump/Tea Party Republicans over the last decade. The ones who openly engage in cruelty, lies, deceit, and brutality. The ones who mock women's pain while hold their guns close.
That is why I am so down. The courts are not working (at least, not fast enough). Our government is not working (because too many people, including Manchin, is power-hungry and corrupt). Our media isn't working (Fox News). Our churches are not working (in many ways they are the root of the evil that has festered in this country.)
I am so tired of seeing these people pull off masks from others and cough in their faces. I am tired of seeing people pose with guns and attack students who are trying to get laws passed to protect them in the classroom. I am sick of these rich people making money while the rest of us struggle on and then listen to them talk about more tax breaks and fiscal responsibility.
More than anything in this world, I want them to STOP.
And that is the reason why I am so depressed right now.
Many years ago, my sister, who has diabetes, was bullied and teased by another sister, who made fun of her for several years. Appeals to her conscious didn't work. Neither did lectures from school officials when she got caught in the act.
Then, justice. This same student got diabetes. And then a year after she was diagnosed, she had a low blood sugar reaction and almost died.
Can you guess who saved her? Yes, my sister, who is a much better person than I could ever be. She recognized the symptoms and told the teachers what to do to save her until the ambulance arrived.
She forgave this person. I still can't. It is easier to forgive someone when they hurt you, but not when they hurt those you love.
And that is my problem. I don't think these Republicans can be saved anymore unless they themselves go through the same pain they inflict on others. Would these Republicans pose with guns if their children were victims in school shootings? Would these Republicans be so encouraging of violence if some of their members were terrorized? Remember, Republicans briefly preached peace after they were targeted by that shooter at their baseball game, but the lesson was quickly set aside, which is not surprising since it was one shooter and only one time. But to have people issue threats over and over again, threatening their safety and family? Would they be so casual over it?
Can you understand why I am so sick at heart right now? I don't want Republicans to go through the pain they put us through, but at the same time I don't see how they can change unless they do. But that means that violence will engulf this nation and leave wounds that may never heal, while in the meantime my little corner of the world will continue to spiral in poverty and crime, with nothing getting done. Even now, Tennessee is number 4 in Covid-19 deaths, and all these people can harp on about is that the government can't "stick" them and they are "owning the libs."
How sad that things have gotten to this point.
I was made aware of Lynne's Intentions experiment just a few weeks ago by another forum member. Lynne is an American living in the UK, which may be relevant to what the psychic saw about news from the US.
Also, I dreamt about you and your dilemma last night; i don't know what you look like, so my brain just attached a random face from the crowd to you. We were walking outdoors and I told you that you might benefit from "going to Reading." Then several acquaintances of both mine and yours gathered around us. A man I know in waking life piped up and said to you "You should go to Reading." Maybe there's research going on at the University of Reading in England that is relevant to you? Or maybe you have a personal connection to Reading?
There's more. Next all of us were indoors and sitting in chairs and couches roughly arranged in a circle. A young British man sitting with me on a couch turned to me and said "Tell me about your connection to Norfolk." I know Norfolk is a county in England, but I've never been to the UK, so I told him about how i've been to Norfolk, Virginia, on a few brief occasions. He didn't interrupt me or look at me strangely, so I figured I was satisfying his inquiry. One thing I'm thinking of now is that Norfolk has several naval installments and research hospitals. Weirdly, the US Department of Defense funds research into rare medical disorders; I was once enrolled in a drug trial that was funded by the DoD.
Maybe this dream means something to you. It's a bit random, but I'd want to know if a forum member dreamed about me.
Thank you for sharing your dream. Wow, what an amazing dream.
You got a few hits there, definitely.
In Norfolk England there is a place that my surname is from. I have quite an unusual surname and it is from a village there.
The first thought I got from the word 'reading' was for me to go have another reading. I have been thinking lately about having another reading but from someone else because I didn't really feel the energy of the psychic I normally use was in a good place last time. He has said things to other family members which were confused and wrong with them also. Which is a shame because his previous readings over the years for my family were great.
If it doesn't mean that, the only other thing is it could mean something about my dad's eye and he requiring a new ophthalmology test, which I'm sure he will have soon anyway - he has a follow up appointment at the hospital on the 29th.
As far as I am aware, there is no new research or treatment being done in any of the hospitals at the place called Reading.
As for the great news and information from the US, apologies I should have been clearer in my previous post, as that info and news was from the report I received back from the neuroradiologist in Houston in the US that went over all my scans.
Interestingly, you should also know however that the neuroradiologist from Houston that went over all my scans and found all those findings that gave me a diagnosis was Chief and Medical Director of Magnetic Resonance Imaging at the U.S. Army San Antonio Military Medical Center.
It is weird how things turn out sometimes.
I did also see something about you before @coyote but it wasn't a dream. It was more an image of an actual coyote that kept appearing in my head several weeks ago just before you posted your difficulties concerning your treatment. I didn't really understand it at the time until you posted about that. I think spirit was alerting me about your situation and because a lot of what you talk about personally really has resonated with me
I am afraid I am still pessimistic about the future. No, I won't stop fighting, and I hope that the country can ultimately turn a corner, but please realize that I have lived for four decades now.
Dear allyn, I know your frustration. But letting it get the better of you will eat you alive and erode your ability to carry the banner of "the positive".
Perhaps altering your perspective might help. I take the long view. Four decades is not much in the greater scheme of things. I've been around just over six decades and that's nothing. Humans have been on the planet for tens of thousands of years, or even more depending on how you define "human". I believe what MLK said, "the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
I have seen HUGE positive changes in my "mayfly" lifespan. A lot of crap has happened too, but in general, I believe that moral standards have made significant strides. Forty-some years ago I was in college-- a woman in a "man's" field. I was underestimated and condescended to by many. But in my field today, the gender ratio of the newly graduates is about 50-50. When I was a child, I went to a segragated elementary school. But schools were in the process of desegragation and it was quite eye-opening to go to junior high and learn that there were many perfectly nice, intelligent people who happened to be black. And gay people??? They were barely thought of since they were mostly "closeted". Not until the 80's or 90's did it begin to be normalized, at least in the areas I lived.
And if you go back farther in time, differences are more drastic. Slavery used to be legal in many states and even many of opponents of slavery believed that although Black folks should be treated kindly, they were still inferior to white people. Women were not allowed to vote and their rights were limited. Children were property, not humans with rights of their own. If you owned an animal, it was your right to beat it if you felt like it. If you had a wife, it was your right to beat *her*. If you were poor, good luck--- go to the poorhouse or debtor's prison or die in the gutter because there was no public welfare system. Illiteracy was common, if not the norm. Child mortality was rampant. The average lifespan was much shorter than today. I could go on. But that's the gist of it.
The crap that is being perpetrated today by certain factions is certainly a step backwards. Or, an *attempt* at a step backwards. But IMO it's a *blip* on the radar scan of human history. I think the progress goes something like 3 steps forward, two steps back. There's always going to be pushback. You mentioned (effing) R. Rayguns a couple times. I was just barely old enough to vote in that election and god, was I horrified at the results. I get it. Pushback has been intense since then. But we have had some decent leaders in the last 40 years and we are slowly slogging our way in the right direction overall.
As individuals all we can do is take our tiny fraction of the load and carry it, with faith that if enough people pitch in, the arc will indeed bend towards justice.