[Closed] Prayers and/or Energetic Healing Needed Part 3

@lowtide  So heartbreaking for all 😢 Prayers for the Highest Good for all concerned and may all draw comfort and be able to speak of him and share memories as celebrate his life and grieve together.

Perhaps, having dealt with this brilliant life, the takeaways of knowledge and living with autism and depression? Your brother and family can do outreach helping others with what they have learned as they lived with it. When we take our pain and transform it to helping others facing the same challenges we have lived through we get the gift of healing ourselves and getting back more than we gave.

All of you will be in my thoughts and my prayers as you all go through this great loss.

🙏🏻❤️💚💜🙌💜💚❤️🙏🏻

@lowtide I am so sorry for your and your family's loss of your beloved nephew. I feel the pain of it in my heart and wish I could take it from your brother, to lighten his heavy load. That is a lot to bear. 

Would you all be able to get away to somewhere as a family? I'm thinking a place in nature, preferably with physical activity that gets you out of your mind and into your body. The therapeutic benefits of being in nature have been proven again and again. 

Does your brother have a daily structure of interacting with people outside the family? Is he able to see a therapist to help craft a routine, even the most basic one? I worry about when people who have been through such devastating events have too much time on their own, alone.

I wish I understood why life can bring us such great shocks. 

Sending you love and healing prayers.

@lowtide, I am so, so sorry. There is nothing in this world that is more difficult than losing a child. I could go on and on over what it takes to deal with such a loss. First, for all of you who will be supporting them, listen to them, no matter how hard it is. We sometimes go off the deep end, and sometimes we're in denial, but having someone to listen without judgement helps. Each parent will grieve in their own way, which may be different from the other. Each will have a timeline that is different as well. In my case, having so many other parents around who had also lost children who were dealing with the same issues, was eye-opening. We all reacted in so many differing ways. No way is right or wrong, as we're each individual, unique. One parent may need to talk, while the other finds it excruciating to do so. This may make it difficult for one to talk to or support the other. This is where friends and family come in. Be the ear and the shoulder for each, in the way that they seem to need. There are groups for bereaved parents like Compassionate Friends, which some find helpful. Know that this isn't something they'll ever get over. It is something that with time, trial and error, they'll learn to deal with. There is no way around it-they have to go through it. My ex thought that he could escape it by work. When that didn't work, he turned to drinking nightly to cope. It took him 24 years to get sober. It is painful, hard work, but you can't out run it or hide from it, much as some try. Realize that just like their world changed forever the day they became parents, their world has again taken a drastic step into another direction. Their lives can go on, be happy, and normal (whatever that is), but it will always be different. How long it takes for them to get there is variable from person to person. There is life before and life after losing a child. While they are on this journey, there will be waves of grief. They may think they've got a handle on it, only to have something, often something small and trivial to others, upset the whole apple cart. This is normal. They are not alone. It will help them to know others have survived such loss. The first year is the hardest. There is a first for everything-first holidays, first birthdays, first anniversaries. It will take them time to figure out what works for them on such occasions. One of the things that helped me the most was to imagine what I would tell Monica if I had passed and she was left behind. I knew what I'd want for her, so I knew what she'd want for me. It's hard to take the advice you'd give your child from heaven, but that's what they'd want us to do. They want for us what the same things we would want for them. If there is something I can do to help, please ask. 

@jeanne-mayell, as others here were talking of Coyote recently, I felt from him that his mother was doing ok. Not spectacular, but as well as could be expected. Do you hear from his parents to know how they are doing? 

Tomorrow my dear friend Antonia, is having a difficult and dangerous surgery.  Tomorrow may decide her future.  Please pray with me for her.  Please send healing for her. She has ovarian cancer and it's third stage.  The surgery is six hours long - -three hours to search and remove whatever must be removed from her body to save her, and three hours in which a second surgeon comes in to put her  back together and sew her up.  

She is a kind and strong person who heads our community garden.  She loves nature and plants and is kind to everyone but also tough.  But this summer has been the most difficult and painful of her life. 

I am seeing her in surgery with angels attending every minute, directing the surgeons' throughout, infusing her body with healing strength. I am seeing the operating room filled with angelic light and Antonia recovering fully. 

@jeanne-mayell I'll be praying for both of you.  Please keep us posted of anything we can do to help. 🙏🙏🙏💕

@jeanne-mayell May healing angels guide the surgeons tomorrow and may they hold Antonia, you and all who love her in the days to come.

@journeywithme2 I agree with you that helping others who share a similar experience is so healing. I hope and pray they will be able to take that path. Thank you for your kind response. I appreciate you.

@gbs You and I think along the same lines. He has recently developed several friendships that I hope will be comforting to him. He couldn't do things he would have enjoyed because he didn't want to be too far away from his son. Now I think he is going to transfer that into not being able to be far from his wife. He does enjoy nature and walks and thank goodness they have a lovely pup to care for and love on - and walk regularly. And they are all in therapy, thank goodness.

Thank you for your thoughts. You are very kind.

@cindy Such wisdom. Thank you for every word. I take it all to heart. God bless you and Monica. I will share these to things with my brother as he becomes able to hear them.  You are a true blessing to others, Cindy.

@lowtide, I somehow just now saw your post about your brother's family's tragic loss. I am holding them all and also you, dear beautiful friend, in healing light.

@Cindy's loving advice is so deep and good.  Thank you, Cindy for your words.  They may help many. 

My thoughts to you, low tide, are about the experience of losing a loved one to suicide.

I lost my first husband that way, and while the pain was beyond anything I could have ever imagined, I learned over time that the pain of a parent was so much more to bear. The pain of a sibling also may be as rough as a parent.  I hope his sister gets the help she needs and doesn't suffer through this alone and far from home. 

First they must deal with losing their child, the one they had devoted their lives to protecting. Then they must deal with losing their child to a death that was caused by someone, and not an accident.

The name they give this form of death is a misnomer because it is likened to a murder. The medical profession needs to find a different name because it gives the wrong impression and does an injustice to the victim and his family. That aspect is also just so difficult for survivors to cope with at a time in which they are already reeling from so much.

Death by suicide has been misunderstood throughout history as something a person knowingly does to him or herself. That attitude is as incorrect as the ancient attitude that mentally ill people were possessed by evil spirits.

Suicide death comes from a mental illness, an affliction. It is the illness that ended his life.  It was death by means of suicide.  We should never say that a person killed himself, and never let others say that. We should say instead that he died by suicide. It more accurately reflects what happened.  

Also, I learned back then that for every person who dies by suicide, an average of five people are deeply afflicted. That was 40 years ago that I learned that. Today, I imagine the number of afflicted survivors of suicide has been found to be larger.

I am picturing all of you surrounded by angels, loving and listening and helping you all to heal.  And I pray for this boy's spirit, that he finds peace at last.  

@jeanne-mayell Thank you, Jeanne. You are right, it is death by means of suicide. It happened because of mental illness and deep depression. It is helpful for me to type those words. I hope my brother and his wife will one day be able to internalize that and know it was not their fault.  Thank you for helping me.

@lowtide, after seeing Jeanne's post, there is something more my gut says I have to add. I, too, have lost family (a nephew-26) to suicide. For those of us spiritually inclined, we can sometimes get a read on folks who have left. Everyone seems to think that those who left by suicide are wracked with guilt, or from a religious perspective, they aren't going to heaven, etc. I haven't found this to be true-though I'm sure there are those who have regret. In the case of my nephew, he came through rather quickly with his dark sense of humor. He literally made me laugh out loud. I won't get into that right now, maybe some later time when things aren't so fresh. But he let both me and my younger sister (he was the son of our oldest sister) know he was in a better place. He struggled with addiction from early teens. He felt lighter and more at peace than he did here. Likewise, I was taking my son as a teen to a friend's funeral after her suicide. I wasn't going to allow him to deal with it alone. On the way there (and I never met her in life) I found myself telling my son that it was actually an accident. Her crisis moment had passed, and she slipped trying to get down. I had no clue until I said that to him how she had succumbed. My son looked at me in a dumbfounded way, but he then understood. I don't know how your brother and his family will take such things, but knowing your sensitivity, don't be surprised at feelings you may get from your nephew. 

The other thing that I feel compelled to tell you is this: don't be surprised if in their grief, your brother or sister-in-law make a statement like they wish they could die. This does not necessarily mean they too are suicidal. Let me explain. I wished this all the time. I prayed to often God for him to take me. We had psychiatric specialists come in to talk with the crash parents-at least those who were up to attending. These professionals not only specialized in grief, but in public tragedy, which has many more layers of issues to deal with. The one doctor was curled up in her chair and asked the group if any of us wanted to die. I was honest, and said yes, daily. I didn't care what the other parents thought of it, I was looking for honest answers, as was the doctor. I saw her sort of grin. She looked at the other doctors on the panel and told them that in her earlier years, she would have put a suicide watch on me if I were her patient, but she could plainly see now that was wrong. She had dealt with the loss of a son, and it changed her perspective. I could see she was trying to educate the others on the panel, so it came as no surprise when she asked me if I would do anything to harm myself. I said no. Again she had a slight grin, the other doctors looked perplexed, and she told the doctors to listen to what I had to say. She asked me why I wanted to die.  My goal wasn't to die, nor would I have done anything to harm myself. It was just in my grief, it was the only way I could figure that I'd see Monica again. She then told the other doctors that she too often wished to die, but had never entertained the thought of harming herself. She realized this would always change how she dealt with bereaved parents. Ask enough questions, and you'll figure out what the statement really means. I want to take my own life, vs I hurt so badly I want to go and see my child. There's a world of difference. Don't hesitate to be concerned if you hear such things, and make sure (or enlist the help of a professional) you know what their intentions are before you are overtaken with fear of the domino effect. 

@lowtide 

Hello lowtide,

I had a close suicide in my life but not a child--so tough.

I wonder if a life coach who specializes in grief and loss could be helpful. I know there are wonderful therapists out there but coaches have the goal of moving clients through emotions/situations while some therapists seem to let clients spin around in them. I do not know if your brother could afford coaching; fees range widely but if you would like some direction in finding one, Jeanne could give you my contact info and I could help.

Another idea, depending on how your brother thinks and using your judgment regarding timing, would be to give him the book, Life After Life by Raymond Moody, MD. It is a short and simple read and it would be hard to finish it without feeling that one's loved one went to a better place. You might want to read it first to consider if you think it might be helpful.

Cindy's post is full of profound observations.

sending soothing, loving energy....

@jeanne-mayell  Asking that Creator bless and use the drs hands as Divine instrument to bring healing through surgery. To bless the hands of the anesthesiologist  and surgery tech teams. To bless all hands that touch Antonia to be healing,loving hands. Bless the recovery team and post op staff care. May this be a skillful " pruning away the dead,injured parts of the plant so the health and growth of the plant is restored"Asking Creator to send Aa Raphael to attend and oversee Antonia's care. 🙏🏻💚💜💚🙏🏻

@lowtide I am so very sorry for the loss of your nephew. There is much wisdom in the other posts to you here. I am keeping you and your brother's family in my thoughts for loving support and space for grief. And especially your nephew for peace. 

@elaineg I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. I can feel your pain.  I will keep you in my prayers and ask for peace and healing come quickly.  We are here for you.  None of us are alone even if we feel that way at times.  Peace dear one. May angels wrap you in love and protection.

My Friends

 Please join me in sending light and healing to our dear friend Mark. Energetically I feel heaviness around my heart. He is a lightning strike survivor and that has affected his heart. He has some other health issues. Mark is part of a large friend group that my boyfriend and I a part of. He met Mark in the neighborhood and at school. Mark is his best friend. My boyfriend and I met in first grade, and I met Mark in second grade.

Mark is beloved by anyone who has ever met him. A Big heart, A Big smile. 

 I am feeling a lot of impressions right now. Seeing all colors, seeing Heaven. I do that sometimes. I believe that I have called my family guides to intercede. They tell me the way is not opened, not as of yet. 

 I also ask for light for our whole friend group, many of whom we have been connected to for over fifty years.  Especially my boyfriend. He has endured more loss than is even imaginable in his life. We need Mark, We can't spare him. 

@ghandigirl I will send prayers and light to Mark and for those who love him.  You describe him as a beautiful person and I could feel that.  May he receive complete healing.   Sending you peace and love.

@ghandigirl Sending up the prayers and sending y'all the Love,Light and Healing Energy!!

Hi Community, I want to thank you for your prayers for my friend Antonia.  She had her surgery and has emerged all in one piece, which had been a concern. She even sat up and wrote to me this morning that she was feeling okay and looking forward to taking some walks soon.  That is a great sign.  There is still a ways to go, but I am certain your prayers were a huge help in getting her this far. 

@mhb @unk-p @journeywithme2 @lovendures @bluebelle  @lowtide @cc21 @deetoo