@smacgoldstein84 So wonderful to hear that. Thank you for saying that. This is a special community.
I don't know if this affected anyone else, but there was a period of time today where I felt some things so very deeply.
As I let go of the bitterness and the anger, I came to realize what they were so zealously shielding and protecting me from, and why they have hung around for so long. Because as I felt them leaving me, I realized they were blocking The Grief.
The Grief of having had to let go of a home, a pet, a family, a neighborhood. A place and time I had expected would continue until I died.
And now I live in an alternate reality. And I am Happy.
But then The Grief. It was hard to withstand for a bit there. I didn't know who to tell so I told no one. When it hit like a tsunami, I allowed myself a good cry and went to visit with my cats who were unusually comforting, both of them, even the standoffish one. And then I told my cats because they can keep a secret. ;)
And tonight, when my body began to ache, I realized that Grief and Overexertion have come out to tell me again, not to drown myself out, to stay focused and present and grateful. To not crowd my day with so much multitasking that I can't think or feel.
Love can be transformed from a nuclear family to a family of adults who still hold love and who are learning to forgive.
Love can come as a surprise in a lifelong friend who becomes a lifelong partner.
And even with the regrets, I still find joy in every day. It's not the trajectory I had imagined for myself or wanted. But it's a beautiful life and I am glad that I am in it.
@ghandigirl Perhaps you are picking up on the fact that many people are feeling things more deeply these days. We need to be compassionate with ourselves right now, as we navigate these waters. Sending angels to all of you who need them to remain calm, open, and grateful for our lives. Sending angels to the people of Ukraine too and so many others. I see a beautiful arc angel on the edge of the earth watching over you and all of us right now. She is like a mother who loves her children and is encouraging them to endure what it takes to grow.
Prayers for my friend Antonia who is facing a difficult and what her surgeons say is a challenging surgery for them on October 24 to save her from advanced ovarian cancer. I wonder if people could send her big burst of healing energy. She is a beautiful and courageous woman, a leader, who gives so much to her community. She is a gardner too who loves plants. She is funny and a great and kind friend in my community. Sending an angel to Antonia, to be by her side everyday, and to be in the operating room on October 24th. Also sending an angel to her mother who has been a rock but is 87 years old and struggles to get through this.
A while back I was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, the first chemo treatment were a bust and damn near killed me, but for the last 2 months I have been on a new treatment plan of immunotherapy and a chemo that I seem to tolerate well. My CEA # have gone from 50 down to 8, but have started to creep back up to 10. I do not fear death, I know a lot of people on the other side of this vail, both family and friends.. But a worry for my sister mtgal99 who lives with me. We have taken this journey through life together, and I cannot imagine doing this without her. I have been hesitant to ask for your help, but as time moves on, I sincerely ask for prayers for my sister who I fear I will leave all alone all to soon.. I love her as much as anyone can love another person, and we have shared many lives together. We will meet again, of this I am quite certain. So my prayer for her is to make this next transition as graceful as possible, and if it's possible, this loving community can keep her in your prayers so she won't be quite so lonely. Thank you all from the bottom of my sole.. until we meet again..
@deborah-carey You post is very moving. You are a beautiful generous soul. Sending angels to both you and your sister to continue your blessed journeys forward. I feel your home is a holy home and you both have shared such love as few know. All will be well, I feel, for both of you.
I will gladly send you and your sister both prayers and healing energy. Love to you both, dear lady.
@debora-carey. I see loving, healing divine energy streaming toward you and your sister mtgal99… and an image of angels joining hands and surrounding you both.
@jeanne-mayell am seeing Antonia and her mom surrounded by angels, and a beautiful white and golden light flowing down from above emanating from an angel above them. Sending them both peace and healing.