@Cindy popped in yesterday after a long hiatus and wrote a post to remember. She captured what we are all about here--navigating heart break. Thank you, Cindy.
"@bluebelle , I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties. I'll keep you in my prayers, and have asked angels to help you out. I do not practice my arts as often as I should, but I do know that when I'm not creating, I can still close my eyes and hold beautiful visions of what I wish to create and how to create them. I know you'll maintain this ability no matter what comes your way, whether it is temporary while being treated or otherwise. We always want to create for others, but sometimes, some of our best work is in astral form or in our imaginations, and that is a gift to ourselves. Loss of any kind or any magnitude is difficult to navigate, but remember, it is navigable. You will handle whatever comes your way with grace.
I'm wishing everyone a Happy New Year. It was a long year for me, with plenty of ups and downs. I like the messages noted above, reinforcing that we should still do good, and take care of ourselves. I'm trying to keep that in mind, yet the call to help others can be strong, even when it's going to take a toll. @journeywithme2, @lovendures, I was thinkng of you two as I read these messages. You two still look after others even when things are hard on you personally.
I have the same situation coming up. I got an email two days ago from American Airlines personnel. They've been asked by the families of last year's crash to invite me to DC to speak at the private first anniversary services for the families. It's a hard decision. I know the wounds that will be opened by doing so, but my heart tells me it is the right thing to do. AA will pay for flights and hotel, and I can bring someone. I've asked my youngest if they'd like to go. Much to my surprise, they said yes, they'd be honored. It will be their first time in such a situation, but I'm proud that they'd go to help others, yet I'm worried as a mother as this will be the first time they'll be in such a situation where I cannot shield them from the reality and pain that will be there. Sigh. Parenthood is forever. I'm stuck right now on what to say, or how to approach this, but I'll give myself plenty of down time this month to figure it out. I know I'll get guidance from above, and when it starts to show itself, I believe I'll accept the invitation.
The same goes for all of you who are here helping others. Don't believe that you can't help heal others (looking at you @matildagirl). Just because we don't know Reiki or other healing arts, all we need to help in healing others is the will to do so. Prayers, research, or just a lending ear to others can be just what the doctor ordered. We all have our roles, and they aren't always the lead. Supporting cast and crew are just as necessary. This is a group effort, where all are welcome and appreciated.
I took my hands off a hurtful situation over the holidays, and the kids called it Stonewalling. I called it wise. I knew if I stated what was bothering me it would hurt them, so I practiced kindness, and said it was my issue to deal with. Those above handled the situation, and plans that were made were changed mid-stream via car issues mid trip. Those who were afraid to do something new or different were surprised at the easing of their fears. The best outcome for all prevailed, and all that was needed was kindness and putting things in the hands of the higher realms. This is what I saw being relayed in the above messages as well. Do what you can when you can, don't be afraid to say no when something is too taxing, but know your love, light and goodwill will still permeate the present and will be recognized.
Last year on New Year's morning, I had a dream that children and family were going to dominate my year. I even saw the Christmas tree in my livingroom (I haven't put up a tree since the yougest moved out west over a decade ago). This mornings dreams were full of putting to rest or exposing of the old (like misogyny and other dark energies). There was also lots of clean up going on. Those of us who could were cleaning up after others, just because we could and we were able to see what should/could be. We just got on with our care and maintenance. Here's hoping that is the case, that there's less distruction and more clean up and restitution this coming year."
--Posted here: https://jeannemayell.com/community/postid/77190/
@Bluebelle's post to @Lynn and to anyone feeling despair at this time:
@lynn When you reach the depths of despair, when you can’t foresee any recovery from oppression, when you feel helpless watching innocent people suffer, this is the time to go within. Close your eyes, go deep into your soul and sit in silence. Imagine a tiny spark in your inner vision and breathe it into a flame. Within that flame, imagine the future you want for these immigrants and imagine the U.S. as the country that welcomes them and appreciates them. There is power in visioning. We can not create a new America without imagining it first and fanning the flames of change. That is the beginning of power, the beginning of transformation. We all have that positive energy within us.
I know you have worked with immigrants for years and poured your heart into your work supporting these beautiful people. There are better days ahead. Hold on to that, because we need you and people like you to make a different outcome.
Thank you for everything you do, my friend. Sending you love and inner peace.
https://jeannemayell.com/community/postid/77281/
Found in <Resistance. Let us count the ways>
Also, @journeywithme2's response to how we need to stop burning fossil fuels:
@jeanne-mayell. Total electric here. I have the Heatpump HVAC that does heat/air that was installed when they flipped this house in the Spring of 23 that we bought in Nov of 23.
I have the new induction range that does indeed boil water very quickly "rapid boil". That being said? I cook a lot of meals with my Instant Pot, Use my Toaster oven and air fryer..especially during the warmer days as they are very efficient and use way less KwH than the range ( the oven especially!!) I do enjoy the range in the winter time and make good use by meal planning to best use it and enjoy the extra warmth it throws out as well ask the goodies I bake in it.
I keep my thermostat set at 68 during the cooler months ...
I learned the most effective use of the heat pump by the set it and forget of the thermostat to avoid activating the stage 1 and stage 2 (auxiliary heat).. I thought turning it down to 66 at night would lower my bill.. wrong!!! I learned this by getting "daily usage reports" and saw the big difference when that stage 2 auxiliary heat has to kick in to get back up to 68. Effective usage relies on you learning the system you have and making it work for you. Spring up until mid June...
I am able to keep my bill lower by getting up in the cool of the am's and using the whole house attic fans to cool the attic and the house by drawing in the cool morning air through the windows... then turning it off and keeping the windows closed and most days ? The A/C doesn't have to kick in until say around 4pm or so to be comfortable inside. during high usage summertime rates I utilize the late off peak demand hours for things like laundry and the dishwasher.
I noticed a big improvement in usage too when I recalled all the windows and such for this winter!!! Never underestimate caulking and adding insulation!!!My vehicle is an old Honda CRV (2006) that is maintained well and runs like a top even at 216,000 miles (thank you my auto mechanic son!!!) I drive very little any more..no public places I want to go to much around here its so red and hateful right now.
I am in no position to buy a newer electric vehicle but think they are great!
My electric bill would be even lower if Ga.Power and the Public Service Commission weren't making behind the scenes deals to raise rates so high to build out the infrastructure for all the data centers Kemp and GQP are so busy trying to get rich off of here. I am so proud we were able to defeat the one they wanted to build in our area!!! We fought long and hard for that!!!!
I guess what I am trying to say? Is don't get overwhelmed..make the changes for more efficient power usage, cleaner power usage where you can... every little bit helps!!!! I have gone from previous bills of 300-450 ish ... to 89- 145 ish now!!! being aware and changing what we can...helps!!!
https://www.jeannemayell.com/community/postid77277
MY NDE by Jack (Coyote) posted in 2019. We were blessed to have Coyote with us for a while. Every post was a gem, especially this one. Coyote passed 6 years after his NDE, on May 15, 2022 after a difficult surgery at the young age of 27. He had a profound impact on this community with wisdom way beyond his years.
I've mentioned on this forum that I had an NDE (near death experience), but I've never shared the details or put down the experience in writing. Part of my NDE involved seeing a very hopeful vision of my personal future (and perhaps the collective future), and now that decidedly positive changes have started to act upon my life, spirit has been telling me to share my experience as a way of guaranteeing those positive developments for both myself and others. This community seems like the most natural place to do that. So here goes (this is a long one).
Some necessary background. In 2014 I began experiencing pronounced difficulties as a result of neurofibromatosis type II (NF2). The big issue was brain surgery which resulted in sudden hearing loss in my left ear, but I was also increasingly contending with disequilibrium (poor balance) and muscle atrophy in parts of my body. I had begun my undergraduate studies in fall of 2013 at a small university in a beautiful rural setting, both of which I fell in love with, and all of these challenges were a huge blow to how I had previously imagined my life unfolding. I persisted at my university, but I closed myself off from meaningful friendship. And without being aware of it, I began employing various temporary measures to ward off depression, including taking a semester off from college to volunteer on small organic farms throughout New England.
In October 2016 I finally exhausted these measures and fell into a deep depression, but I didn't tell anyone. Four months later I almost tried to kill myself, after which I spent 18 days in the hospital undergoing psychiatric care. Over the next two months, which I spent at home with my parents In Connecticut, I was feeling better, but I was still in the "aura" of depression. Then, on Easter Sunday, I had a grand mal seizure. It turned out the seizure was an aftereffect of a brain surgery I underwent the previous December. I spent 1 night in the hospital after the seizure and was back exercising at the gym within a few days.
Here's the NDE proper. Two weeks after the seizure, I went to bed and started feeling a sharp pain at the back of my chest whenever I inhaled. As the pain increased, a voice seemed to be telling me to get out of bed, get dressed, and wake up my parents, because something important was about to happen. In fact, I didn't seem to be in complete control of my own movements as I roused myself; it was like I was being guided. It was after midnight, but the moment I turned on the lights in the hallway, my mom came out my parents bedroom because she sensed something was up (mother's intuition). As i stood in the hallway and told her about the pain, I became increasingly panicked and suddenly passed out. When I regained consciousness after about 30 seconds, my dad had already called an ambulance and I didn't have the strength to get off the floor. My vision was also different. The overhead lights seemed otherworldly in a way, and I could see what looked like sparks and electrical currents in the air. Meanwhile, the spiritual presence that spoke to me when the pain in my chest first started was a lot more powerful. I could also anticipate each new moment. I was able to sense the arrival of the EMTs before they announced themselves, and I could read the profound distress racing through my parents' minds.
When the EMTs did finally come through the front door and started walking up the stairs, the sparks and electrical currents in the air coalesced into what I can only describe as a rotating pattern at the edge of my line of sight. And then I received a vision: I saw myself crouched alone in an agricultural field at the edge of a forest under golden sunlight. I looked much more robust and physically substantial, and I was decked out in rugged outdoors gear. It was almost like all of the damage NF2 had done to my body had been reversed. The field I was working in looked biodynamic and was planted with a diversity of trees, bushes, and crops. I was joyous and completely at ease; I was tending to all of those plants and they were tending my health in return. There was a strong association between the vision and the 30s number range, meaning the vision I was seeing was of me in my 30s or that the vision was from the 2030s (either way, I turn 35 in 2030). Spirit seemed to be telling me that despite all of the challenges and despair I had been through, this vision would be my future if I persisted.
I never left my body or lost consciousness, so this vision was superimposed on what was going on around me. The EMTs loaded me onto a special chair they used to carry me down the stairs, and I even cracked a joke so that my parents would be less concerned (the spiritual presence told me to make a joke for my parents' benefit, and my dad at least cracked up). By the time we were outside and I was loaded onto a stretcher and into the amblance, the vision of me in the field was gone, but the peace and joy of that vision was still very much present. I knew everything would be fine, and that's when the rotating electricity at the edge of my vision started to impart knowledge of its own. I understood that the rotating energy field was a glimpse of the spiral nature of the universe. Everything in the universe is coordinated and works in cyclical patterns. While things will renew and return to origins in the course of those cycles, the universe is always advancing towards a new destination, "spiraling" to new experiences and discoveries for discovery's sake. And there are nested cycles within larger cycles, and cycles within those cycles, like a Mandelbrot set. Even the turbulence of my life at that point and the turbulence and ugliness of the world were purposefully building up towards a more beautiful whole with implications that went well beyond humanity or planet Earth. I understood all of this with each passing moment in the back of the ambulance on the way to the hospital as if I were hooked up to an IV of knowledge, and I could only keep on repeating "oh, wow!" over and over in my mind.
I could also feel my depression melting away. Having seen my potential future and being gifted with so much spiritual knowledge, I had no desire to die at all, and I could feel the cells in my body begin to mobilize for healing. It then occurred to me; what if I didn't want to live? I realized that the universe was giving me a choice, and that If I really wanted to, I could shift my energy in the opposite direction and I would die right there in the ambulance, and that would be fine. The universe had alternate plans in that event. But I never considered it. I still didn't know why I was in pain, nor did the EMTs, but I decided then and there that I would do whatever it took to get better.
After they ran a few tests on me in the hospital, we were finally able to figure out that I had an advanced case of pneumonia and that I must have aspirated on saliva when I had my seizure two weeks earlier. At first they wanted to operate on my lungs, but I absolutely refused, and I even got out of bed and stormed out of the ward in my hospital gown just to make the point that I was not so sick that I needed surgery (the same spirit guides who led me through my NDE told me I needed to make a scene in order to demonstrate my vitality). So after two days they discharged me with an infusion kit and a port in my arm so that I could administer antibiotic fluids myself from home. After three weeks of diligently administering antibiotics every 6 hours, I was free of pneumonia. But what I really want to write about is the first full day I was home from the hospital, which was May 1st (May Day). It was magical. It was sunny with ice blue skies, but the moon was visible, and the temperature was perfectly poised so that I barely registered any sense of temperature at all. I felt like I had grown several inches, and it seemed like a veil had been removed from my eyes, all of the colors were so much brighter and acute. As I walked around outside, I felt all of my spiritual helpers congratulating me for navigating the gauntlet.
It's been exactly 30 months to the day since my NDE, and the universe keeps sending me energy so that I'm moving forward. Through the profound kindness and understanding of my professors, it pushed me to complete my undergrad honors thesis when I wanted to give up and just be done with college. Through a series of dreams this past summer, it pushed me to submit the application for the job I currently have, and if not for those dreams I wouldn't be living in a new state surrounded by new people (which is exactly what I need). One of the more out-of-the-blue transformational experiences I've had in the past 2 and half years occurred last fall, when I was completing my studies in upstate New York. Through the campus chaplain, with whom I had been visiting regularly, I found out that there was a trained shaman who lived just down the road and performed soul capture ceremonies informed by Native American cosmology. She did a soul capture for me, and that's how I found out that my totem animal is coyote. That eventuality led me to the "Coyote Trilogy" of books by the doctor and healer Lewis Mehl-Madrona. One of the centerpieces of Mehl-Madrona's "coyote medicine" is the power of storytelling, and that's why I've been up past midnight writing this novel of a post. When we share our stories with open-minded individuals, we validate those stories and make them come true. So telling this story of my health struggles and my NDE validate those experiences while also making the future I saw in my NDE vision more possible. On one level, what I saw is personal; being free of the depredations of NF2. At the same time, though, I saw a healthier Earth and a more mindful, cooperative way of living with our environment that benefits the health of both the planet and the human collective. That's what we all want.
@cc21 @bluebelle @vestralux @deetoo @lovendures @seaholly @journeywithme2 @Isabelle
@jeanne-mayell Several months ago, I noticed that I had the bookmark to his journal (J. Coyote Beyond the Edges) in my files, still. But when I clicked on it, I found the journal had been deleted. Does anyone know if it still exists in some form we can access? I'd like to read it again but I understand if his family wishes for privacy.
Also I wonder what Coyote is doing and thinking in the other dimension! I am sure he is a higher being and doing some kind of positive work up there.
@jeanne-mayell that was one thing he (coyote) and I (crow) shared between us. Our NDE's and what we saw. We are all connected across the Ethers (Akasha) We are not lost, we are exactly where we are supposed to be... when we are supposed to be. It is in the every day living that we lose sight of what we know to Be. Hard to stand with one foot in each world. The time approaches we will : Re-member.
@jeanne-mayell Several months ago, I noticed that I had the bookmark to his journal (J. Coyote Beyond the Edges) in my files, still. But when I clicked on it, I found the journal had been deleted. Does anyone know if it still exists in some form we can access? I'd like to read it again but I understand if his family wishes for privacy.
Also I wonder what Coyote is doing and thinking in the other dimension! I am sure he is a higher being and doing some kind of positive work up there.
I will reach out to his parents and ask if they would allow us to share his writings here, with attribution. But I think they will likely say no in case they decide to publish his work. They might be willing to enable his website to be resurrected. Will let you know.
Here is a poem he wrote: Remnants
Remnants by Coyote (Jack)
Pequot sat cross-legged along these banks once
Against the glacier-dropped boulders and current-washed stone,
Grinding whelks and wampum
In the shade of chestnut branches
Or so I’ve read.
The stream still flows,
Bearing its load of silt and clay
To the Atlantic.
Flip over any stone, and you might just find
A flint arrowhead—or a beer can.
I plan, one day, to follow these banks.
Past houses and fence posts, to an ocean
Rising a half a centimeter every year.
I will wash my bare feet in the tide and wonder
How I too, will be remembered.