First, big love to nurses! ❤️
I wish I could offer you more depth, interpretation-wise, but I'm only getting back into tarot. But I want to echo Stargazer about that Sun card--I also think it signals that you will feel very clear about your decision when the time is right. There obviously is some confusion and emotional conflict now, but you will make the right call. If there is no rush, maybe wait for the clouds to disperse a bit. Best wishes!
50 years. I am now 57. And I got tot tell you , my life looks very different and I set my own hours and do my own thing. Highly recommend at any age.
The older I get the more I have a deep knowing that I create my circumstances through my beliefs. I attracted the kind of work best suited to me. It took a series of not great situations . Sometimes knowing what you DON'T want is even more useful in attracting what you DO want..
and don't "should" all over yourself. Just let it flow. I get a calm feeling thinking of the heron very close to my home. I get a calm settled feeling when I connect to your energy. You are on the right path, I think.
Think, in the scheme of the ages of the earth, we are infants. :)
Thank you for your validation. I felt torn when I received messages asking for help. Part of me really wants to help my coworkers and patients but I feel like caving and giving up my weekend would just make it more convenient for administration. Making it easy for them to short staff us as a matter of course is not what I want to do. I want them to restore our staffing ratios and enabling them to keep them as they are is like crossing a picket line. I will go when I have no choice but not before. More nurses will quit. I have received some discounts on my tuition because of where I work. My classes don't start until July. Any time after they start, I can look for work elsewhere. But this corona thing has basically stopped the hiring and orientation processes at the hospitals. The people who work in HR are all working from home. As a matter of fact the majority of our HR (benefits etc.) are being "centralized" into another state so many of those people are being laid off. But we are reopening slowly. The thing is, in this environment, my dept is currently overstaffed and I feel I am at risk for being involuntarily transferred. Like they are going to tell me if I refuse, there is no job for me. The worst that can happen is that I will be backcharged the money for my last class--about $1500 (and of course, be out of a job). That is where I feel that Moon card/3 of Swords. I just know that even though I am an experienced nurse, there is no way I can keep track of and juggle 9-10 patients.
I never felt like I had much luck with Tarot. But you all inspired me to pull out my Rider-Waite deck, which hasn't seen the light of day in years.
My main concern is that I do not feel like I am living up to my potential, but I do not know how to get un-stuck. I have a comfortable life but for a long time I've known I should be doing more. I just don't know what, or by what outlet. I keep waiting for some opportunity to manifest itself but it does not.
So I asked the Tarot what I ought to be focusing on for the next six months in order to fulfill my highest and best purpose. I got:
1) Five of Cups (I think that is self explanatory for the basis of the question: Time and energy have been wasted (the spilled goblets). There is disappointment, but there are still opportunities (the remaining full goblets) )
2) Ace of Swords REVERSED. ( I had to look up the meaning of that card-- most interps say it means a person is not speaking up or communicating properly. I can see that in my present. )
3)Ace of Cups. (Nice card to get if it represents the future! The usual interp is that creativity and intuition come to the forefront. )
I then asked for clarification : What should I best focus on to get to the "Ace of Cups" state?
Answer : Page of Swords, REVERSED (I had to look that one up, too. One interp was "You have lots of energy and curiosity, but right now it’s not really directed at anything. With no outlet, it seems like you can’t quite make up your mind about what it is you actually want to do for your future." That is a great description of the "now" but does not really help me--I already know that. )
Any comments?
Thank you for your encouragement.
I totally understand your conflict, I turn 55 this summer. Part of me was desiring to try intensive care but at the same time, I wonder if that is too great a challenge at my age. It is harder for me to learn things on the fly like I used to. I tend to need a bit more time to digest things now and competing stressors (the curse of "multi-tasking) are corrosive to both my memory and intuition. Like you, I have some things I feel I need to finish and I also think I need to get the financial parts of my life tied up (like pay off some debt and get some renovations completed at my home--all need $$).
It seems that things get really negative before a big change, and it's the Universe's way of helping us to proceed through transformation to grow into that place where we are happy and fulfilled.
Your multi-tasking (wow) is awesome, though all the political entanglements with the corporate infrastructure of the hospital is appearing to drain you .... and causing you much stress as you are weighing all your options too.
I am just wondering where is your time for you in all of this? Sometimes we just have to rely on Spirit and tune into our Intution to find balance within, you know, let it flow from within, completely let go and sit with it.... the answers come in much more clearly I've found.
This Sun card as your future focus is good to meditate on, and consider what is blocking your happiness and abundance from manifesting ....
I see it as sort of like this ... if one is in a miserable relationship that is causing alot of stress,and you are feeling stuck like a catch-22, the really good relationship that you know you deserve can't manifest because you are l filled up with the bad one and can't let go ...
Letting go seems to be the key.... Spirit always fills the void and leads us toward us our happiness (even tho we dig in our heels and get dragged there sometimes, like me lols)
I really see something new and gratifying coming in for you... hope it's a smooth transition Rowsella ...you deserve it ?
@ghandigirl what you're saying resonates and is so true.
We can change our own course. If you're not happy, change your life. Not many people do out of fear or the obstacles, but we can always do so;-)
How cool that the Ace of Cups came up for you ... this is my favorite card of all, and I would say that it represents your highest aspiration as spiritually and on the physical plane ... complete fulfillment. Not a bad thing to aspire to!
With the 5 of Cups indicating that you are leaving the past behind, but not without some disillusion, and the Swords coming into play reversed, you are really transitioning toward that fulfillment.
It seems contrary, but sometimes we must find a way to cut the cords that are binding our wings and the courage to step out of our fears to go forward on the journey toward that happiness.(Ace & Page of Swords reversed).
There may be some anger issues from the past that have caused you depression and anxiety? And a feeling of not being prepared to accept that Cup that's being offered from Spirit....
Stay open and be kind to yourself... it's good to visualize what that Cup may hold for you as you go through those doors and reach for those stars.....
With love ?
Woo, you got it right off-- my therapist would give you a high-five.: I have a lot of repressed anger stemming from a childhood of not being heard and expecting to have my "head bit off" if I expressed an opinion. The repressed anger leads to frustration which leads to anxiety and depression. I have been working on all these things most of my life (first on my own, then later with therapy etc.) Still, I have a ways to go and I really wish a door would open up with a voice saying, "Here's your thing, go do it."
Thanks SO much for your interpretation.