Thank you so much! I will start doing this every day. It's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when they keep putting more trains in. I never dreamed this could happen in America. This meditation will help me.
Circle of Light starting in 15 minutes: half an hour self healing, filling with light and healing our world. Monday & Friday at 10 am eastern time and Wednesday at 7 pm Eastern time. All are welcome. No charge, drop in any time.
Link is https://us02web.zoom.us/j/772885013
I am starting the low FODMAP diet. I already avoid most of the trigger foods. I am hoping this further streamlined clean eating will give me something I haven't had maybe ever, a good gut biome.
I am also working on making better choices in general. And healing my broken arm. And my broken heart.
This requires a commitment to stay in the present moment.Thoughts of the past sadden me, worries about the future unsettle me and are creating imbalance and illness.
I hope to rise above all of this.
It's not an easy thing to do. It will be easier, but right now it is exhausting.
Ghandigirl, sending lots of supportive thoughts and wishes your way! Thank you everyone for your healing and supportive thoughts, especially journeywithme 2, lowtide, lovendures and ghandigirl for your comforting words and support. Some things have gotten better-my cat starting eating again and doing better! She is following me around and brings nothing but joy with her. Nothing changed on housing yet although we are still desperately looking. On myself, my health stayed a mess. I have a doctor who is hardly ever available and always sends you to urgent care or er cause she is always booked several months in advance. In our area, the closest urgent care won't take my insurance even though their pharmacy fills my prescriptions (the wonders of insurance and living in rural areas). Anyway, I was finally able to get into an urgent care a couple cities away (everywhere is short staffed right now or limiting who they see). They were able to help but then the medicine caused complications now so I'm still unable to do much-having trouble with one leg and support. I am very aware how much of an inconvenience me being this sick is to everyone right now. I tend to do the stuff at home/for friends that is made up of lots of little details and care so when I'm not up to stuff well it just doesn't get done. It's stupid isn't it that when you feel really ill/bad that is when you feel your lowest (worth wise as well). It almost feels like you should feel guilty for being ill. I am so tired...so very exhausted right now and all I truly feel like is how clearly I am just a bother to everyone else and very very alone. It's been made clear to me not to show upset, worry or anything or that upsets everyone else. Anyway, I would appreciate it you could keep sending some healing thoughts and energy my way. Wishing good thoughts to everyone and hoping you are supported and loved.
@luminous, you wrote to us about a troubling energy that was scaring and hurting you. A number of us responded, sending healing energies. I cannot find your post for some reason, nor can I find people's responses but we have had some glitches since the forum application was updated, and our developer is away until next week. So perhaps we can recover them when her returns.
In the meantime, I wanted to tell you that one post to you was not okay. It was harsh and not appropriate for our forum. We try not to do "harsh" here. I notice you have not posted since then. We care about you. We hope you are okay. Please don't let one harsh post get to you. It was reported to me a few days later, and I deleted it.
In the meantime, I am sending all the healing I can to light up your home and your heart. We care about you, dear friend.
I am so sorry that others around you have caused you to feel badly about being unwell. Please know that you matter and you are supported here.
It is not your fault. I hope you are feeling a little better today.
Hurt my back and my arms hurt. My back is always an issue and have had a lot of disc injuries. Praying it's not a disc. I am unfortunately, in a lot of pain.
I am very frustrated in the moment. I have alot of things in the aor right now because of my broken arm.
I'm not going to even apologize or let myself feel embarrassed for posting today. This has been an hellatious nightmare of a week. One for the record books.
I do want to share something awesome and hopeful too at the end. Stick with me.
So, my arm has healed enough to go get a Chest X-Ray that I have put off. I was going to wait a while longer. Today though I weighed myself for the first time in a while and found I have lost more weight. Now this could be totally benign. I am doing the low FodMap, which is actually helping. There is very little fat and since I am just starting it, I am doing the straight diet before selectively adding high FodMaps back in slowly. Also, other horrible things occurred. One bad reaction to a med had me wanting to die, figuratively.
I don't like to give oxygen to sad stories. For me, retelling is reliving. There is more that happened that I don't care to share and I am using every ounce of my self-resilience to stay present.
So here's the hope. After the Chest X-Ray I drove to my local shopping Center and into a No King's Protest, which I joined.
I got all choked up and shed a tear or two to see all these people from disparate backgrounds, The old and the young, the trans, and the children and families. It was unbelievable. I drove through in my car, thumbs upping and clapping for them, then parked my car and joined them.
And here's the very best part of my story: I wasn't meant to be there, I didn't plan to be there, I wasn't wearing yellow, and I wasn't up to it. But I ended up there anyway, and I feel grateful and guided.
Just a quick update. I am daycare for Felix, who is closing in on 5 months old, so my days are busy. The little tank was over 18 pounds at his 4-month check-up. Quite a surprise to the doc and nurses as he was a big baby when born, but lost more than an average amount of weight after birth, and had trouble regaining. He was labeled failure to thrive. Then he shows up as a 90% percentile baby at 4 months. LOL I wish a double chin looked as good on us older folks as it does on him. We're connected, and have been from the start. I just haven't figured out from which lifetime. His mom was the first one to note it, I wouldn't have said anything myself.
I also lost dad on the 13th. He put up a much greater fight than most, and the staff were surprised at his passing, tho I wasn't. He had called me to say goodbye exactly one month before. Still plenty to take care of. I've always known that his death would usher in something new for me, I'm just not sure what or when.
I went to our local No Kings. I wasn't in the mood to get in the large crowds we had for a small town (about 7000), but a friend and I met, sat & listened to the speakers out of the way and made sure we were there and counted. It was too important to miss, even if I was grieving.
@Lovendures I'm glad you are getting better!
A man, with a history of mental illness and criminal behavior, from my former small town, was arrested at the Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, Atlanta,Ga. He was in possession of an AR15 assault rifle with 27 rounds of ammo with the intent of perpetrating a mass shooting there. That he posted he was going to do on social media. His family reported him when he left home. It was a hard thing for them to do.....and... is currently even worse due to the community's response both supporting and condemning them. Their emotional pain is immense and overwhelming. Our community has emotions running high due to our recent protest on Saturday the 18th (we had a great turnout!!!!) and the juxtaposition of this event, as well as the shutdown and the loss of SNAP benefits and many more programs that the low income folks of this red state and even redder area rely on. Loss of jobs, out of control electric bills, skyrocketing food costs (but "cheaper gas y'all" )Loss of services, loss of access to government help on many levels and the disparate views are causing such a split and division and turmoil here. This man? Is a living example of what lack of mental health care and medical care and cult indoctrination do to an individual..to a family. This community? Is a living timeline of division and coming together at the same time. Empathy and compassion battling it out with GQP racism, fascism, ICE raids, lack of affordable housing, lack of adequate health care, losing health insurance.... a microcosm of what is happening everywhere in America today.
I am tired, I am exhausted, I am beyond weary..... fighting and living amongst this turmoil day in and day out. I am struggling to remain stalwart and continue to fight every way I can. Today??? I need prayer and help to hold on to HOPE. I need comforting... as today? I am fearful.... I really do feel like John Coffee in the Green Mile.... "I'm tired boss.... mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other"
I need a hug. I need to hear " It's ok..it will all be alright" and still believe it....feel it. My cup is empty.... I need a refill.
@journeywithme2 Felix's mom wanted to see which pic I posted, so I signed back on to show her and saw your post.
Hold on. There is hope. It is within, so you don't have to look externally to find it. What is external are the things that are making you feel like it is not there. Mute those external things.
When Biden was about to step down, he was in my dreams, showing he was stepping down before it was announced. I was shown his houses being renovated to be central to family, which was the most important thing. He changed from his suit into vacation wear. I felt his deep pain at what those in DC and the US were doing to oust him, and yet I felt his peace in the folds of his family. I knew then what the outcome would be after his withdrawal, and I too withdrew from things that gave me a sense of the negative, even when that was not what most felt or intended. Many in the country were rejoicing, but events struck me differently. The dream reinforced in me that you do your best, and when it's time to take care of yourself, do so without regret. Even being forewarned of what was coming, I too felt despair for our country, but realized there were further lessons that many needed to learn on both sides of the aisle.
Peace and hope are internally manifested. If I'm not on the front lines of the battle doesn't mean I'm not in the fight. Behind the scenes is just as effective as front and center. Actors can't go on without set and crew. Disconnect from whatever is causing you to experience the tiredness. Turn off the news, avoid websites or social media that also causes you to feel negatively. I don't watch the news, but I do stay informed via social media. When it's overwhelming, I don't check it. I work in the yard, do my arts or crafts. In the last 5 months I play with the baby. It's ok to take time away and tend to yourself. Ground yourself-walk in your yard, or hike in a nearby park or forest, do some gardening. I go to the beach, but not everyone has that luxury. When you nourish your soul, and tend to your inner light, the people who need to see it will see it. We're not all meant to be on the front lines forever. Migrating geese take turns at the front of the v-formation to let the others draft and save energy.
My father had denounced 45 in his first term. As dementia took him further into confusion, he once again swallowed the Kool-Aid. I sat and filled out his mail-in ballot for the orange one last fall. I mailed it as well. Even with my beliefs. Doing the right thing brings peace. Dad was dementing, but taking away his voice for me wasn't the right answer. So even in difficult situations, we can have peace when we do the right thing. Don't take on the darkness others are embroiled in as your own. They are not your choices, so they are not your responsibility. Do what you feel is right, and know internally that good has always become the victor.
You can't vanquish light by producing darkness, you can only obscure it. On the other hand, light will always vanquish darkness. You are light, so keep hold of your hope, even if you have to turn your back on the things that make you feel the darkness momentarily. Tend to your light well, and it will always provide you warmth and guide your path.
@journeywithme2 I really think that it will be alright, despite our current circumstances. I think that things will be better, despite my current worldview. Evil fails in time. First it needs to be revealed, and it has.
Hi
I enjoy reading everyone's posts. They really give me hope.
I am very concerned about my Daughter. She was born a micro preemie at 23 weeks 7 days. She only weighed 1 pound 7 ounces. Her chance of living was not good but she beat the odds. She has psychically had very good health she is 19:years old. She has both Autism and an Intellectual Disability but was always the top of her Special Education class. She was able to graduate from highschool last June.
Sadly her mental health has been difficult for the last couple years. She has been in a Residential mental facility since July 3rd this is the longest she has been away from home. She has had mental health issues for the last couple years unfortunately I think she was misdiagnosed years ago.
We believe her diagnosis is correct now she actually has 2 diagnosis. One of them is Schzenphrenia she has been stabilized on a medication. The other one is way more complicated. She also has been diagnosed with DID or as it used to be called Multiple personality disorder. She has including herself 4 personas. All her personas are actual parts of herself. It is like she has been splintered into 4 pieces. Her personas have different names. At this point I never hear from Brianna herself mostly a persona calling herself Blue talks to me who at times seems mixed with Brianna. Occasionally a persona named Sunny and only once a persona named Ivy.
We were told she needs specialized treatment 6-12 months where she is now can't do the full treatment she needs and they are having difficulty finding placement for her.
Her DID is different from other cases in that her trauma is different, in that they believe it started back when she was around 14 when she was first realizing about being Autistic she was the only girl in her class who had Autism. She does not like being Autistic. Blue has actual told me that while Brianna is Autistic she is not. All through Elementary and Middle School I tried for her to be placed in the Autism classroom but doctors were not able to see her Autism at that time although I could.
I don't know that we will be able to find placement for her to get the help she needs. I believe she will come home eventually but I worry that she will spend her life bouncing back in forth between home and a residential mental facility. I just so want for her to be able to have a normal life someday. I worry that it won't be safe for her to live at home.
I am sorry this is so long.
@Cindy @Billy Mike. thank you very, very much. Cindy? Your words of wisdom resonated and have allowed me to give myself permission to "take five" to renew and refill my cup, release the pain and darkness that is not mine. I have observed geese migrating and sandhill cranes too and you are so very correct... they do switch off leads and rest in the v shaped drafts of flight. I think I am going to step back and sit out the next protest being held here - the weather is turning much colder.... I think I shall stay home and isolate and binge watch nature shows , cooking shows, and romance movies LOL. Bake, and make crafts and care for my critters as always. I think the world can move without me while I hibernate and heal.
Billy Mike? Thank you!! I very much needed to hear someone say that. "It will be alright"
I keep telling myself " It will all be alright in the end...if it's not alright it's not the end" according to John Lennon, Weezer and the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel :-)
For now? I am gonna curl up on the couch with q warm cuppa tea in hands and listen to some solfeggio frequencies music for Healing.
Thank you all for the Love,Light,Support and Prayers.
@journeywithme2 Thank you for sharing how hard things are right now. You’ve been a rock for this community and for so many others—it’s time you gave yourself the same care you’ve given everyone else. Rest. Sit with your tea, your music, and let yourself breathe. You’ve earned that.
As @cindy wisely said, hope comes from within. When we’re exhausted, hope fades. Rest and good music restores it.
Still, there’s also hope in what we see: a minority cannot hold back a majority of freedom-loving, informed people forever. History shows that those who are oppressed eventually rise. Saturday’s massive protest, the largest in U.S. history, was proof—this movement is growing.
Recently, an old oak in the woods reminded me: like the tree, our nation’s roots run deep and wide, built by people who came here seeking freedom. That spirit endures.
I have faith in America, even if transformation takes time. I’m not attached to when it happens—only that it will. Like the couple I met who waited years for their child to be born, sometimes what we hope for takes longer than we wish, but it still arrives. I believe it is only a matter of time for the Americans to get to the level required for the freedom we are seeking, freedom for all, not just a privileged few.
Hello, beautiful community. You have already given me so much hope and comfort over the last 9 years, but I have to ask for something more from you. Our beautiful granddaughter, Wren, was born in July with a congenital heart defect, Tetrology of Fallot. She will be undergoing open heart surgery to repair her heart sometime in the next few weeks. We should know a date for sure by the end of the week.
I am asking for prayers and positive thoughts for her and our daughter and son-in-law, Katie and Cody. They have been in a constant state of stress with the uncertainty and the constant monitoring that is required. They can’t let her cry very long ever because her oxygen levels will drop.
The good news is that the surgery is not new and has been very successful over the years. While that is comforting, it is still very scary to know she will be on a bypass machine for 5-6 hours.
I have personally witnessed the power of prayer and positive thinking (thank you everyone, especially Tesseract) and I truly believe anything you can send our way will help our sweet Wren get through this.
Thank you one and all from the bottom of my heart. ❤️
@shari I see an angel lying into Wren's little body to keep her safe during the procedure. I see angels moving into the bodies of the medical professionals attending her. And I see angels surrounding Katie and Cody with love and calming soothing angel energies. Praying for a successful procedure and smooth recovery. Sending an angel to you as well, sweet Shari, to keep you calm and assured during these times.