@ghandigirl I do feel for you ghandigirl. I find it hard to face the morning after a night of little sleep. For going to sleep at night, at bedtime I read something that puts me in a different time/space, fairy tales work well for me. I have a big book of Italian folktales collected and written by Italo Calvino. Also Sherlock Holmes stories. Right now I am reading from a little book New Moon of the Seasons: Prayers from the Highlands and Islands extracted from a giant book of old Scottish prayers and incantations collected by Alexander Carmichael – they include ones for sleep time.
I have found that 30 minutes of vigorous exercise (where your breathing is elevated) during the day or early evening has the most positive impact on my quality of sleep that night.
@ghandigirl I think it is. if it gets really bad for me I take a warm shower with lavender soap or magnesium soap and take this:
i does have valerian so check with MD if you can take it. I also drink hop water left to become flat because the bubbes bother me.
I have been struggling for a few days this week.
I don't know if I believe in angels or G d, but I asked both for help tonight.
@ghandigirl Dear Ghandigirl,
@ghandigirl I'm feeling already much better today. I just started sending good, soothing energies your way!
@ghandigirl i am so sorry this happened to you after all you have endured. I am healing your way.
I have decided I need to evict my BF from my house. Legally I have to give him 30 days after the end of the current lease period for him to get out. That would be October 30. He stopped seeing his various therapists and went off his "brain" meds about a month ago and this is not working for him. He was doing really well for a while but he's basically given up. He's depressed and angry and feeling sorry for himself. I think he is afraid of getting better. I don't understand why he just quit. Things were getting better. He's in progress of finally getting set up for badly needed knee surgery and treatment of a couple other long-neglected physical issues. He's a high-level-brass playing musician whose career was knocked sideways by the onset of "musicians focal dystonia". I found a special mouthpiece for him that practically cured it. He sounds amazing now and knows it but said it made him feel even more depressed. I think he is afraid of getting better. I've known this guy for over 40 years and he was always a driven, confident person. No more.
Living with his attitude and negative energy is destroying my own mental health. He does not have a lot of financial resources. A friend suggested I write him a check to cover moving expenses and a few months of living. I think that is a good idea. It won't bankrupt me and it would help expedite the eviction. But I don't think he's even going to try to get a new place. Extrapolating the current course, I see the sheriff arriving on Oct 30, making him leave the house, and moving all his stuff onto the front lawn. Then BF will probably drive off drunk and get into worse trouble. Or he'll walk into the street and let a car run him down. It would be his fault --not mine-- i understand that -- but it is a terrible shame for a talented and fundamentally good-hearted person to end that way.
I've been trying to find a therapist for myself. My primary physician got me an appointment for late November. I really need someone a lot sooner than that. I've tried calling others who take my insurance (it is actually good insurance, for most things) but no one calls back or else I get a bot that says they're not taking new patients.
Any advice or energy would be nice to have, if you can spare it.
@ana What you've written here is really reasonable and sensible, and I completely understand why you'd want to do this. I would love to tell you something more positive, but I have to say that I received a warning regarding you and your plans to evict your BF from your house at this point of time. I'm not entirely sure what exactly will trigger it, but I have a feeling that your life might become unexpectedly dark afterwards, rather than easier, and that there might be no further movement in your life after that. And I mean you yourself, rather than your depressive BF and his life. I'm so very much sorry when I have caused you concern now, but I'm afraid I was worried about your physical safety when I had this insight. It feels like deep despair might lead him to react in unexpected ways without any good consequences for you. I completely understand that it can be very difficult not to put your plans into action immediately, but perhaps it is worth considering whether you could get significantly more support, care, and protection from your friends and family or others before taking the planned action or some other action against your BF? I also think that Al-Anon might be a good next step for you, as I believe it could be beneficial to your well-being and resilience. I am sending you my support and love by praying for a positive and harmonious resolution to your current situation, which I believe to be at a truly difficult standstill.
I meant the Al-Anon Family Group, of course 🌻
@ghandigirl Oh no, I'm so sorry to read about your fracture. I can only imagine how uncomfortable it must feel, especially as you might have a plaster cast on your arm now. My best wishes for a speedy and gentle recovery. I hope you can find the patience and have some paid time off to allow your body's natural healing powers to work now, and I am also sending some more healing energies for your arm.
@ana Sending you healing and love, as well as for your bf.
@Joy was right to sound an alarm, although I'm not looking for any psychic insights about your situation, just good common sense. I am glad she noticed your post.
I agree with Joy that you should have some on-the-ground support for this situation. Starting with a mental health professional, i.e., a therapist for you who can guide you through how to safely remove your BF from your home and, even from your life, if that's what you want, but safely for both of you. And a therapist who can help you sort out your feelings. And a therapist might be able to direct you to facilities for him.
You have given so much to help him that you are clearly out of fuel which is why you said you didn't care if he died in the street. But you do care about him, and you'd be devastated if that happened without sending him off to a safer situation than the street.
So you are going in the right direction by planning a way to move him out. Maybe a residential treatment or assisted living facility that provides a safe bridge to proper care for him where you can drop him off. I've seen alcohol and drug residential facilities that are free but the residents run it and do all the work. There is one in North Carolina. A friend of mine removed her sister from her home after two years, packed up her car, and drove her there and dropped her off. If he is as sick as he sounds, then he might qualify for disability, in which case he might qualify for affordable housing, day treatment, or residential treatment. A therapist could direct you on this.
@ghandigirl Oh, that must hurt. Sending love and healing your way. And healing for that fracture.
First ER doc botched it. Never told me to ice it. Wrapped it too tight. Set the sling and bent the arm at the wrong angle causing swelling and pain and numbness in my pinkie.
Second visit to second ER doc... Read the x-ray and told me it was broken. Nobody called me with the results of the first ER visit or put the results in my online app. Told me the botch job was responsible for the pain.
I can't wait to get a cast. Praying it's not too swollen to get one. I hope I get one tomorrow in a cute color my littles will like. I've been injured since Saturday night. The discomfort from the splint is getting old, it's very hard to maneuver with it not being solid like a cast.
I had a catastrophic injury to my right arm years ago. I am recalling all the adaptations I made for myself. I became ambidextrous from that experience. I am adept at using either hand and doing things one-handed.
As awful as this is, it comes nowhere near to that time in my life.
Worked on a mosaic frame. Time flew by. I forgot the pain and the sling rubbing on my neck.
Thank G d that I am an artist. I don't know how I'd be getting through this life.
@ghandigirl Love hearing you talk this way, even with the pain. You are a trooper.