Good for you for blocking that person on facebook! That is a perfectly legitimate response. It's about self-preservation; you don't need to subject yourself to that kind of abuse (which is what it really is). Blocking is self-empowering!
Fear, Anger, Fear, Anger, Fear, Anger. Round and around we go... It seems that lately these are the states we are all stuck in. Everything around us seems to be careening out of control and our Fight or Flight instincts are in full on emergency mode. The thing is, those instincts only belong to part of us, the flesh and blood part. Our true nature knows nothing of those emotions, only Peace, Love, Courage, Strength, Gratitude, Joy and Connection. If you are having trouble finding any of these states of being, perhaps stop focusing on the outside world for a second, and bring your focus inward. In this state of quiet reflection, ask for guidance on what is blocking you from discovering who you really are. ❤️
So true, dear Frank .....
Man, am I totally inundated with the stupid MSM and their all-too-obvious agenda of fear-mongering.... it's always more gathering of the mega-$$ mind-set, if you get my drift.....
To go within is to see the truth ....
?
Take note friends. I've seen that there's a lot of infections in the WH that were not revealed. Posted this earlier. Felt one of the major players is seriously ill. Saw this a few days ago. Their denial is literally making them sick. @jeanne-mayell
I don't have your faith, but I am still going to fight with every bit of my spirit that is in me. I will fight for the return of bipartisanship and fairness in the federal government. I will fight for kindness and compassion to be the norm. I will fight for racism and all forms of discrimination to be shunned and for any followers of Trump to hide deep in the underbelly of civilization, too ashamed to admit that they once supported him.
It is simply my way to fight even if I worry that I am fighting a lost cause. But I rather die with my head held high as a light warrior than a participant in Trump's country.
I agree with you completely! Why should we remain civil to these people when they show no civility to us? Why should we subject ourselves to being mistreated and disrespected while we listen to their lies?
Your response was eloquent and justified. The time for being civil to Trump supporters is long gone! Do we resort to violence? Of course not, because we are better than them (further, if you fight with trash, you have to get down on their level, and they beat you from experience). But we don't need to say "well, I respectfully disagree" or stay silent as they spout out lie after lie. I tried that, and all it does is encourage them to continue. Only by confronting them strongly (and occasionally following through with the promise to cut them out of your life if they continue to accost you with their Trump-worshipping dogma) can we hope to turn the tide and encourage others who sympathize to stand up for themselves.
Whatever you do, don't feel guilty for sticking to your guns. The First Amendment merely says that every citizen has a right to speak their peace without government interference. But it does not say that we, as private citizens, have to subject ourselves to it. By rejecting their lies, we are exercising our right to free speech too!
Why should we remain civil to these people when they show no civility to us?
The question of how we talk to one another when we disagree has been on my mind. Since I teach writing, I spend a good deal of time thinking about HOW we say what we say, and how we can be more intentional and effective with our speech.
We desperately need to find a humane way to engage in discourse when we disagree with one another. Sometimes, that may mean walking away. Boundaries and respect are important and I'm not suggesting anyone allow themselves to remain on the receiving end of verbal abuse. Nor am I advocating for trying to persuade people who are too far gone and not open to different perspectives, which is many times the case with people who have been brainwashed by Fox, Brietbart, Limbaugh, and other right wing media. (Check out the documentary The Brainwashing of My Dad for an excellent look at the mechanisms of this toxic media.)
Yesterday a dear friend of mine shared a post written by someone else that demeaned people who read and believe pseudoscience and conspiracy theories on the internet. The tone belittled these people, rather like other memes and texts I've seen that say things along the lines of "I know you anti-vaxxers are too stupid to understand this, but let me try to explain to you why you're wrong anyway..." Shaming people NEVER works to open their minds or hearts. No one will listen when you talk to them that way.
We're not going to "win" by stooping to base behavior, and I'd argue that there's no "victory" to be found if we keep approaching this discourse like it is a battle. Arguing, even with all the best evidence, reason, science, etc. is going to be futile. We need to move beyond a winners/losers dynamic.
I don't have the answers and don't imagine there is one right way. I teach writing, but I stumble trying to get my words right all. the. time.
But I have learned a few things, and one that is most clear for me is to start with mindfulness. That can mean a pause--waiting, even an awkward amount of time--before you respond. Notice what you're feeling: in your body and your emotions. What thoughts circulate around those feelings? Are you feeling threatened? Afraid for your safety? Disgusted? Angry? Hostile? Wanting to protect yourself or what you believe? Just notice that. I am in no way saying what to feel or to not have these feelings. We're human. But I will say that when we speak out in the initial moment of anger or fear we don't always act from our better selves, nor do these words tend to promote constructive discourse. Often, they feed the fight itself.
The organization Showing Up for Racial Justice asks members to "call in" instead of "call out" when speaking to others to promote awareness of racism and social justice issues. Race is a topic that is highly provocative--people often get defensive, and when you're in defense mode, you're stuck in that "battle discourse" and unlikely to really hear what others are saying. "Calling in" is invitational--and really, that's the best we can do is to invite others to see things differently. We need to de-escalate and get to that invitational space first. NOT EASY. But not impossible, and I imagine this gets better with practice. (I'm no expert! Just someone who is trying.)
Here are a couple examples. (And neither have to do with T or his supporters. For many of them it will take the waning of his power for them to be open to our invitations for discourse.)
My mom works as an account clerk for her county's heath department. She and I usually disagree on political issues and generally avoid difficult conversations since we live far away and don't get to connect much. She was talking about her work trying to get COVID-19 testing supplies and stated that she didn't agree with the push to get data on race with testing. To her mind, what difference could it possibly make what race a person infected is? COVID-19 doesn't discriminate, so she suspected some political agenda. (We are both white.) Now my immediate response was to bristle and feel defensive. I've been following calls for this demographic data by Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris and others, and because I have read about issues related to racism, from environmental, historic, and personal perspectives, I'm aware that structural inequities and a history of trauma make racial minorities more likely to have chronic health issues which make them more vulnerable to complications from COVID-19. Also, because of economic inequality, there are more people of color in essential & high risk professions. My mother didn't have the same opportunity for higher education as I did; she also is not much of a reader and just isn't getting the same information--we were coming at this from very different places. But I felt it would be wrong to just ignore the comment, so I picked up the thread that was most likely to connect us: her words indicated that she believes race shouldn't matter because we are all the same. And that is true! Race is an artificial construct. So I said I agreed with her that it really shouldn't matter because we are all human beings. But I see the legacy of racism and how that is still very much at work in our lives today, as much as we'd like it not to be. Because I live in the south, I was able to draw on examples of some of the worst, most explicit examples of racism--this worked to keep her from feeling attacked and to remain open and invited in the conversation. (Honestly, I think her area is highly racist, but saying so then would not have served my purpose and would have shut her down. I didn't use the term "white supremacy" for the same reason--she's not in a place to understand what that means, especially having come from a blue collar background.) We had the most open, engaging talk on race, and while I don't know if she changed her mind or not, she was considering the points I made. And we left the conversation feeling connected and not oppositional.
Before we went into shut down this semester I had my first set of student conferences--I meet with each student individually to discuss their research topics and offer instructional support in the process. One student, "D," had a topic that was still pretty vague and I was trying to help him get a clearer sense of where he wanted to go. He was interested in understanding whether or not climate change was real. He explained that where he comes from (his words) not everyone believes in climate change, and he talked about global warming and climate change as though they were totally different things and one is real and the other isn't. Now, this wasn't easy because even though I don't hold science as the pinnacle of knowledge that many people do, there's just so much evidence that our climate is changing because of human activity and the only "arguments" against that position tend to come from conservative media at the behest of the fossil fuel industry. Anyway, I was this young man's teacher, and my whole purpose was not to tell him what to think but to offer models for ways to think and invite him into learning to engage with the world in a more complex way. For him to be open to that he needed to feel safe and encouraged and in no way belittled or ridiculed. Because his experience and understanding was so very different from mine, even down to what we meant by the words we used for what we were talking about--"Climate change" and "global warming" had totally different meanings for him. Because I was in a position of relative power, I has to be extra careful to not shut him down, so rather than saying "this is what you need to know..." I positioned my understanding as relative to his (which was humbling and not easy because these positions are not equal--the planet is warming!) and explained that it was hard for me to understand what he meant because in my own research I've not encountered the same definition of these terms he has--could he tell me more about that to help me understand...? Phew, it was not an easy conversation at all, and he got plenty frustrated with me, while inside myself I kept taking deep breaths and pausing and trying to be patient as well. I wish I had a happy ending to tell you, that he learned more from his research and developed his own perspective on the topic, but stupid COVID-19 happened and he never replied to any of my emails when we transitioned to online classes.
I'm not saying every conversation deserves this level of care and effort, but personally, I find benefit from practicing mindfulness and a willingness to be open and engage in difficult conversations when possible. Minds are not souls. If we ignore or demean others whose minds are clouded, we do nothing that might possibly bring light to darkness. We also close ourselves off from that potential for the growth that can come from forging connections and understanding. It is a humbling practice, because we have to open ourselves to vulnerability and accept that we may not be right about everything we think we know. I think of the visions of lightworkers, especially @Baba's recent one, and while there are many ways to share your light, I think it is always invitational. We open ourselves to share our light with others, but the light is within them as well, and unless we can connect with one another, we lose the potential for the light that ignites in our recognition and appreciation of our mutual humanity and divine interconnectedness.
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about.
Rumi