Little chime in from The Netherlands. We did keep tulips around, after the speculation and plague died down;-)
Hopefully we'll keep something beautiful this time around too!
@ Coyote. Bluebelle said it better than I can, but I hope you will find the job that is right for you. The universe has a way of uprooting you now and then to a point that it might seem too much. However, I firmly believe good can come from it. The journey is hard, but will bear fruit!
On another note, every day we are seeing irrational risk taking behaviors in regards to personal safety as well: refusal to wear masks, refusal to accept the reality of COVID, refusal to social distance. It's so absurd, really. It's as if this mass denial is a form of hysteria about a pandemic and created into being by political propaganda.
I've been thinking a lot about this phenomenon on collective denial. Someone in one of the Predict the Future Nights, I believe, mentioned the five stages of grief --and that was an epiphany for me. When you look at the way people are behaving in terms of those stages, it makes a lot of sense. It helps me to empathize more with them instead of just seeing them as ignorant and partisan lemmings. Heh. It also helps me understand why they are so susceptible to falling victim to the propaganda machine churning out nonsense and pseudo-science. I see it in my friends and colleagues, and it's frustrating and so very heartbreaking.
From what does denial manifest? Well, it manifests from many places, but I think this is indeed coming from grief. Collective grief. And so many aren't recognizing their feelings as grief. They succumb to this denial and to the political suggestions that they are being controlled because it's easier than the soul-searching required to recognize this grief. Grief hurts. Grief is a psychological and emotional entity, and so many don't like to face that aspect of who they are. What is being grieved? The loss of the world they/we all knew. The loss of the world *they* knew is palpable, as is the accompanying lack of awareness that this will all lead to something better. They only see and feel and give in to the sense that they've lost control and that results in the desperately clawing against wearing masks or social distancing. It is their way of crying out, "I AM IN CONTROL! SEE? I won't wear a mask!!" One lady even admitted at a city council meeting somewhere that she won't wear a mask because she doesn't wear underwear and you have to let it all breathe. Ew. TMI! Like Bluebelle said, "It's so absurd, really." Yes, it is.
They absurdly allow themselves to be fooled into thinking the government, deep state, or whatever they want to call it is trying to take away their freedom. The irony is that they've been manipulated to think this because in their fragile state of denial, it's just easier to gravitate to *thinking* that refusing to comply with health directives is giving them more control.
So let's review the Kubler-Ross five stages of grief -- or now there are seven, actually -- These seven stages include shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. I see those refusing to comply with mask order and social distancing as being stuck between denial and anger and not progressing beyond those. It's very sad, tragic, even to consider the suffering within these individuals. They are suffering so much and they don't really understand they have more control than they realize. And that they could be working toward a place of healing instead of wallowing in anger and fighting, fighting, fighting.
Shock - March 10-15 is when most communities went to Shelter-In-Place. Everything came to a grinding halt. The world was in lock down. Everyone was kind of paused for a brief moment while people sought to get their bearings. Collective gasp and wide-eyed realization that this was a historic, HUGE deal.
Denial -- Here in California, I'd say it was about six weeks before the first rumblings of dissent started against SIP. I remember thinking that with the right leadership at the federal level, we could come together as a nation in collective sacrifice -- it could've been a truly galvanizing opportunity, but Orange Foolius was incapable. Our governor tried as best he could, I believe, but there was so much push back from the Republican side to make it about control. When our leaders are in denial, so many will follow that example because it's easier, I think. Governor Newsom isn't perfect, but I think he did as best he could under the partisan climate that exists everywhere right now.
Anger -- This is an off-shoot of denial. People can't accept that this isn't something any of us has control over right now. Various targets have emerged -- Democrats, science, Dr. Fauci, China, City councils, school districts, teachers, profit motive of mask-makers and PPE, the economy, etc. It's easier to find a tangible target than to be angry at a virus or angry at the incompetence from someone you might have elected into office who won't take responsibility and lead. It's just easier -- path of least resistance. People don't like to admit they were wrong, especially when they believe their party reflects the epitome of Americanism. To reject Trump, for them, is to reject themselves, their country and accept the party of UnAmericanism. So small-minded and so uninformed, but there you go.
Bargaining -- These are the people pushing for returning normalcy even though it's not time to even think about going back to pre-Covid living. I see this locally in my own school district where so many parents want us to open the schools pre-Covid style -- full student attendance in person on campus with no masks or social distancing protocols. We aren't doing that -- our plan is for a hybrid model - but parents and at least one board member are pushing back strongly. SUPER frustrating. Their reasoning is that quarantine is ruining their children's mental health and the lack of social interaction is causing irreparable harm. "They NEED their teachers! I can't teach them!" they say. I would imagine that if those same children got COVID and had to be hospitalized or the unthinkable happened, they're not considering that impact because their denial is preventing them from believing that we aren't living in a *normal* world right now. They really believe this is all over-hyped and their kids won't get it because it's not affecting children in large numbers -- Hello? They've been in lockdown since March. Of course the incidence is lower in kids. Lol. THINK PEOPLE! But the bargain, too, is about reclaiming control. Thinking will mean releasing control to the reality that we aren't in control -- not the way we are used to being in our lives.
Depression -- The beginning of the realization that control isn't possible. The futility of fighting it. The sorrow that what's lost will never be reclaimed. The dawn of acceptance -- for some. Sometimes this leads back to denial and anger. Sometimes it progresses toward acceptance.
Testing -- I think this is most visible in states where they've started to re-open, not because it's prudent but because of fear of revolt. Governors must weight the health and safety of their constituents against economic damage and fallout to same. They claim that they'll open with safety restrictions, but with so many people in denial and angry, there is mixed results. We are seeing how Texas, Arizona and Florida are relapsing into serious Covid-spread because testing the fates isn't always successful.
Acceptance -- Pretty self-explanatory, but I think even this comes in stages. One person might accept wearing masks could be helpful to others, even if they don't believe wearing one helps themselves. Or they might practice social distancing at work because someone in the next cubicle is recovering from cancer and they want to be safe "just in case." But as Kubler-Ross advocates themselves would say, one must experience all of these stages, sometimes multiple times and not in order to get to acceptance. And even after achieving a state of acceptance, we can regress back to anger, back to depression, back to denial.
I've experienced profound loss in my life -- my parents' divorce as a child, my own unwanted divorce (I fought it like hell and finally when I let it go, my life blossomed--new life, found me again, new and beautiful marriage) , a relocation away from where I grew up, my parents and my husband's parents all dying within five years of one another. The setting of my dad's estate and the resulting deterioration of relationships in my family that came as a result of misunderstandings I couldn't fix or control -- I have felt and experienced all of these stages -- still do. It's so complicated. But knowing the stages I am struggling with definitely helps -- and knowing there will be better days ahead, too.
If only someone with an audience -- a true leader -- could help counsel the collective that *this* is what we are all experiencing and to be *aware* of it. It will help. It won't immediately transform everyone, but think it will give them pause. It may give words to what they're feeling-- for some, those willing to hear it. If only we could get this into the national conversation - this narrative of grief and recovery and these stages.
Even while the knee-jerk reaction of most who are stuck in denial right now is to object, I think-- no, I feel and believe -- that it will plant seeds of thought that could help them heal -- What do you guys think?
Is anyone else picking up something similar about the market or heaven forbid, a national shutdown? If you are seeing sunshine, blue clouds and clear sailing ahead, please let me know.
I haven't been trying to read anything, but in the back of my mind there is always a reading going on about our collective. Last year before the crash, I would try to stay upbeat about the 2020 economy in light of an unforgettable 2013 reading I'd had that it would be the year of crash. But I kept hearing in my mind without asking that the the day of reckoning, was coming, coming, coming. Don't forget, forget, forget what you saw, you saw, you saw (back in 2013).
So what goes on in the back of my mind now is that there is no voice that is telling me to readjust what I had seen about this time. There is no voice coming in and telling me that it is going to be different from that earlier reading which showed a situation of slow down for several years. So I'd be surprised if all starts recovering now when we as a collective have not Yet fully recovered. Yes, we are protesting, glad of that. Yes some people are waking up, glad of that. But you can't turn a ship around that is as large as a planet and traveling full speed ahead, with leaders who are driving that engine in the wrong direction.
Every time I hear people carrying on about how we have to get back to "normal" I shake my head that we shouldn't want to get back to normal. Normal was destructive, normal was being in the middle of a sheep stampede towards a cliff.
There is no recovering until we as a collective face how out of sync we are with nature, both our own natural selves, and the natural world around us.
if we face that we could be okay. Slowing down is good for us if we do it fairly to all.
@jeanne-mayell - This may be another one for the Hall of Fame!
@parizienne - I agree, 100%. I think you hit the nail on the head. This is a collective grief and many people are unaware and therefore, unable to move beyond a given stage. Hard to do, even if you *are* aware!
I totally agree that we need leadership who can talk us through this on a national level. I think this may be the very reason Biden, with his personal history, is the person to get us started on that healing path. This national conversation needs to happen from the top!
It absolutely is so complicated - I can see some of these stages in myself since lockdown and in other areas of my life due to family losses (my mother died a little over a year ago.) It is heavy stuff. Thank you for putting this together so well and sharing it.
@jeanne-mayell Yes Jeanne, many people miss so many things we took for granted. The people I feel sorry for now are on the School Boards. What pressure they must be feeling. Especially in the red states! Omg! Those parents are pulling their hair out. I’ve been a Mom and now a Grandmom, and the parents I feel the most compassion for are the ones with teenagers! They don’t go anywhere unless they are with their pack. They consume huge amounts of food. I just can’t even imagine! I remember once at a parent-teacher conference I was meeting with a mom who had 4 teenage boys and 2 daughters. I asked her how much her grocery bill was.....$850 a week! That was at least 10 years ago! Can you even imagine? They were well off and could afford it. Now? 40,000,000 people out of work? Don’t forget, that they most likely lost their healthcare too. The depression you are feeling is well grounded. I cry daily just listening to the energy. Soon enough people will come out of denial and realize we must create a new future. It will come. It will come. Ps. Was just reading all the hits! Wowzooo!!! Congratulations people! You are happening now!!, ? ? ? ? you are the cool kids!
I really like you. writing style, ?
And very good analysis. This and the posts in this forum let me believe again that there are enough smart people in the US. As a German that is 55 years old, I grew up seeing the USA as our big brother. I lived not far from the Western-Eastern Germany border. And we knew we have a reliable big brother on our side, that saved once Berlin, and helped us with the Marshall plan. The last 3,5 years damaged that picture so much. I already compared the USA the last years with the Fall of the Roman Empire.
The protest ( BLM), this Forum, the press that is called Fake News Media have giving me hope again that the US will turn around, we need a reliable US . I strongly believed a few months ago that the US will fall apart, it might still happen, or maybe some states will seek independency . But there will be a strong USA again ( I guess 2022 onwards). Not as strong as 10 years ago, but more united.
I still keep thinking that maybe another colour than Blue and Red will raise in the politics. Maybe the white of the stars ...
Thanks everyone:-)