I hope I'm not unloading on everybody but I am struggling lately with feelings of pessimism, fear, anxiety, grief and sadness about everything that is going on. It feels like a bad dream, and although I initially had feelings this would pass (and that "T" would pass) I'm not so sure anymore. It's depressing to think of what this country has come to. Also, I am supposed to return to work June 1st and am terrified to go (I don't drive so I take the bus, and it's always full of people not wearing PPE or masks) and so contemplating taking time off from work for half a year.
Big shout out and virtual hug to you for sharing these very well feelings being felt by so many at this time.
June 1st sounds very, very near doesn't it especially for riding a public bus. So many factors to consider especially if the public transport in your area isn't really up to speed with thorough antiseptic cleanings every few hours as many are doing or using really great social distance requirements for standing in line, sitting far apart or absolutely requiring masks.
However if you're in an area where there wasn't any cases or very few cases it changes the mathematical probability but not the anxiety or fear ones.
Are you on unemployment insurance? That can be extended of course. So overall trust your feelings. And its good to share here and be heard by others.
Whatever you decide prayers and positive energies being absolutely sent your way!
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Hi everyone, I usually lurk and follow the predictions/posts of others, mostly because I have great difficulty putting my thoughts and feelings into words. I’ve been really struggling lately not only because of the suffering I’m seeing everywhere, but because I’m not seeing a reprieve from this horror anytime soon. My family and I have so far avoided catching COVID (as far as we know), but most recently I’ve come to realize that the reason we’re in lockdown (I’m in upstate NY) is not to prevent us from getting this virus, but simply to prevent health care systems from being overwhelmed (which I completely understand). What wasn’t sinking in before was the fact that 60 to 70 percent of us are expected to get this thing, and there doesn’t seem to be a damned thing we can do about it. I’m terrified that I will get it or my husband will (he’s convinced that he won’t survive if he does) or my 2 year old daughter, and I can’t stand the thought, but somehow we have to prepare ourselves for the very strong likelihood that we’ll be contracting this horrible virus?! I also keep hearing that in 6 months our economic crisis will be so much worse than it is already. I’ve been feeling so vulnerable starting a new job right when this lockdown began, and I just keep losing hope that I will be able to keep my job or even my life. I know I should probably stay away from the news; I know the federal government is useless at best and malignant at worst, and although I had hopes of the orange menace and his cronies being taken down well before November, I’m no longer sure. He always seems to survive, somehow. I know our state is starting to reopen and I just feel this sense of dread...Anyway, this probably reads as a lot of selfish verbal vomit, but I feel like I need to put it out there (I hope nothing I’m saying causes any offense).
Your feelings don't seem selfish to me at all. In fact, I believe many in this community feel as you do.
We want to come out the other end of this pandemic "ok". We want to survive, have good health, an income, food on the table, all those things. AND we want to live (not simply survive) while doing so. We are afraid and trying to deal with all of the "what ifs".
You also have a young daughter and so your thoughts are likely going to her, her health, her future and the impact this crisis will have down the line.
None of that is selfish.
By sharing your fears and your thoughts, you are doing a loving thing for your psyche. You are helping it be heard, to heal, to be understood. W
We understand. We care about you.
Don't lose hope.
Hope is a beautiful thing. It keeps us moving through darkness, it is creative, it is a balm to the soul, it allows us to see beyond. Hope is the light in the lighthouse on a stormy day, guiding you home, guiding you through the darkest of times.
If you can, join our Wednesday evening meditations. Everyone who comes seems to feel a gentle calming afterward. We help heal each other and try to help heal the greater world. It is filled with love and kindness.
Here lately I get trapped in my own mind and start getting the case of "what ifs" that causes my depression and anxiety to hit my like a bus, but then I feel this calming,light surround me and whisper " Everything will be ok, you just need to breathe and relax. All will be revealed in do time." I feel the love everyone is sending outwards and I try to hold onto it as tightly as I can. Thank you all
I just adore you ?Michele?
Stargazer...Oh my goodness! The loving, caring, energy just blasted me into outerspace. Nicest dearest sweetest comment. ?