In the past, you have given meaning to your situation by describing your journey as a warrior's journey. Continuing in that way of thinking, no matter what you are facing, can you find meaning for it and for how you as a warrior want to respond to the battle you are in? You don't have to answer. Also how can we help?
Dear friend of my heart, I’ve not walked in your path or endured what you have endured. If I had your experiences, would I ask your questions, would I give up the battle? Honestly, I don’t know. As you know, I look at a physical disability from a different perspective since one of my children is a paraplegic. Losing physical function is an overwhelming heartbreak, yet a disabled person can persist, can find meaning and purpose, can love and be loved in return. Not only do I know this from my son’s experience, but also know from volunteering for ten years with patients at a spinal cord injury hospital. People are amazing. People do choose life and live it as fully as possible.
This week, I’ve been reading Henri Nouwen’s book Here and Now and this passage resonated with me:
“The great value of spiritual reading is that it helps us to give meaning to our lives. Without meaning, human life quickly degenerates. The human person not only wants to live, but also wants to know why to live. Viktor Frankl, the psychiatrist who wrote about his experiences in a German concentration camp in the Second World War, shows convincingly that without meaning in our lives we can’t survive long. It is possible to live through many hardships when we believe that there still is someone or something worth living for. Food, drink, shelter, rest, friendship, and many other things are essential for life. But meaning is too!”
Of course, I see disability from a parent’s perspective and know every day, hour and minute of your life is a blessing to your parents. Because I’ve not walked your path, I offer instead my heartfelt prayers for you. I pray that you are surrounded by angelic beings who comfort you, protect you, strengthen you and guide you through the days and weeks and months ahead. You are much loved in this life, Coyote. May you feel this angelic comfort soon.
Namaste.
My reiki master gifted me a rose quartz crystal at the end of our first session in October so that I could process all of my emotions and open my heart more. I wear it on my body most of the day, so I have that to keep my heart receptive. Of course, I will meditate more. I'd rather meditate on my own than on a Zoom call, but I'll still meditate at the time of each conference. Are they all at 6 pm now?
I also ask that if anyone sends healing to me, imagine me as a robust, fully healthy individual, unencumbered by disability. I say that because I know my purpose in life is to help the collective ascent to the fifth dimension, and that begins with literally shapeshifting my body and repairing my genome. I've had too many visions and received too many intuitive insights to believe otherwise. So @bluebelle, I know this wasn't your intention, but it hurts to hear that all I have left is just to accept the current state of my body. I feel deep in my being that humanity is fast approaching a point in spiritual evolution where our minds will have a lot more bearing on our physical expression. If the trauma I endured stemmed from a discrete event like an accident, I would come around to acceptance for the time being. But what I've been through has been successive traumas that have gotten worse over time, and the natural history of my diagnosis points to fatality by the age of 40. I can accept more trauma and death at a young age, or I can defy all expectations and reverse that linear trend. There's nothing in between in my situation. (It's like riding a bike: you either keep pedaling towards your destination or you halt and fall over.)
So the meaning I've placed in my life is to be a one-in-a-million miracle. Because it will also take a miracle for the world to come back from the brink of ecological catastrophe. But we make our own miracles, so this is all within our agency. I might be taking a big risk and setting myself up for profound disappointment if I fall short of my goals. But can you think of any memorable hero who didn't take risks or leaps of faith? Neither can I.
First, though, like a knight suiting up in armor, I have to take a sober accounting of what's at stake.
It takes strength to sit with anger. Anger has much less attractive pr than joy does.
But Anger needs a seat at the table too.
I wish for you whatever you need in the moment. I will wish for you whatever is best for you , even if it doesn't seem so in the moment.
I love you little brother. I am richer for knowing your story and your pain becomes my own when I read in your voice.
Your visions and insights for the fulfillment of incarnating the 5th dimension will carry you through! The body is magnificent and does regenerate itself. We will add you to our meditations of light and in celebration of health and wholeness for you and all mankind. Be well.
I so agree with Maggie. Never give up even during the most challenging times!I
Trust me when I say I have a Legion of Angels behind me as we battle these challenges of 2020.
May tonight's transition and celebration of the Winter Solstice and the powers of the Great Conjunction and the meaning and symbolic presence of the creation known as the Star of Bethlehem create many holy of all holies miracles for the Aquarian transformation of our world, and all of us now evolving with it.
Blessings for all of us and our earth, our world, our nations and all of our own loved ones during these times.
???????
"Your visions and insights for the fulfillment of incarnating the 5th dimension will carry you through! The body is magnificent and does regenerate "
This thread does not have to be just about me. Reading through the angel messages, it seems like lots of us will be going through the crucible, so I wanted to create a space for us to share about our own climactic 2020 battlesas long asthose battles are personal in nature. Outside events and politics will likely be ambient components of those battles, but there are other threads for posting solely about national/global news.
Also, don’t minimize your story by comparing yourself to someone “who’s much worse off.” Comparisons like those are disrespectful because they objectify whoever you think is worse off than yourself—maybe someone with profound disabilities, or a starving child in Africa. Either way, you’reusingthat “other” individual as a measuring post. Finally, minimizing one’s story by resorting to worse off/better off comparisons denies the extreme particularity of the world and each person’s life. Our unique experiences and relationships make one person’s walk in the park another person’s torture regimen. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Our pain is %100 real to us regardless of what other people are going through.
Blessings abound for all here but someday they are smaller than when we they might be. Nevertheless they continue day by day by day as each of simply gets up and faces each and every new day filled with our warriors heart and the protection of legions of angels.
We can do this Coyote you are not alone nor will you ever, ever be alone again.
We are here for you and for and with each other even when we are unable perhaps to describe our own personal or family struggles on this very public forum.
Love and blessings, wisdom and guidance prevail.
???
miracles for the Aquarian transformation of our world, and all of us now evolving with it.
@Michele-b Your words are so lovely and powerful. And so we begin the journey!
@febbby23 @michele-b. @lovendures @ghandigirl @luminous @bluebelle @deetoo
Thank you, friends, for sending me healing, and I apologize i've come off as defensive or insensitive. Encouraging things have been occurring in my life since Friday, but it's too soon right now to talk about them, otherwise I'd diminish their power. Just know that I am taking a bit of a break from the forum now simply because I am taking a break from the internet; I need to be present to whatever changes are happening to and around me. The date of my surgery has not been set because I haven't seen my neurosurgeon yet. I did have a reiki session on the 19th, though, and the reiki master did confirm with my council of guides that this procedure is for the best and highest good.
And Lovendures, to answer your question, I am in CT at least through January.
Coyote, I am glad you are able to be with family during this period of time.
The fact that you had confirmation this procedure would be of the highest and greatest good is excellent news Coyote.
I will continue to keep you and your brother in my prayers as well as your whole family Coyote.
Tribe:
After the 2012 election, I started to fantasize about the exact margins with which a Democratic presidential candidate would whup a GOP opponent at the local, county, and state levels. Because I’m a nerd for statistics, I know the recent voting trends for lots of US counties (gleaned from Wikipedia), and I’d dream up how those counties would vote in future elections: Westchester County, NY, goes Democratic with 72% of the vote! Los Angeles County goes Democratic with 75% of the vote! Miami-Dade County goes Democratic with 70% of the vote! That sort of thing. I did this a lot in the interim years between elections, in the run-up to 2016, and as recently as this fall.
But even 8 years ago, this sort of daydreaming left me with an empty feeling. For one, I’m not even a Democrat (I’m an unaffiliated voter), so why was I so fervently identifying with Team Blue? I reasoned that they were (are) the only major party in this country that champions somewhat progressive policies. But my strenuous adherence to future scenarios of Democratic dominance were out of proportion to that reasoning. I now know that the unsatisfying dregs these fantasies left me with were the result of the fact that my thoughts were creating an energy of unyielding antagonism and success through domination (might makes right). I was also seduced by the warfare mentality of taking sides and “playing for your team,” regardless of what your team stands for. That warfare mentality and antagonism has reached its zenith in the US collective, and in some ways the events that transpired yesterday in Washington were an inevitable endpoint.
To come away from this attempted coup with only deeper self-righteous antagonism for those people who heeded Trump’s calls, or by gleefully gaming out scenarios of the downfall of the GOP is to miss the point by 500 miles. The fact that the US Capitol saw an insurrection for the first time in 200 years, and at the hands of US citizens, should be a wake-up call to the uncomfortable truth that most of us have a hand in yesterday’s drama, however diffuse that responsibility may be.
Let me spell this out: by fantasizing about warring political factions and how one of those factions would obliterate the other, I was creating thought forms of violence that manifested yesterday in Washington, D.C. By being born into the wetiko field of separation and us-versus-them logic that defines our present reality, most adult Americans—most adults living on Earth, really—also bear responsibility for the banal violence that colors our world
(It’s worth keeping in mind that a person like Trump would never have ascended to his position without taking advantage of the us-versus-them architecture of America’s vampiric two-party system, although might-makes-right reasoning permeates pretty much all of the world’s institutionalized political hierarchies as this epoch closes.)
Part 2
Why am I writing about all of this on a thread called “the Last Battle?” I’ve come to understand over the last month that the last, hardest battle is always with the Self. Personally, that means I’m not fighting against my external medical diagnosis. Rather, I have to attend to the unassimilated beasts I harbor in my own psyche, which are manifesting themselves as nerve damage. My challenges aren’t entirely the faults of other people or impersonal forces. I have to grow up and acknowledge my own shadow if I don’t want to die a slow and miserable death in a nursing home at the hands of thought forms I willed into being.
Similarly, we have to own our collective shadow if we as a species want to avoid ecological catastrophe. This isn’t just about Americans. All nations possess unacknowledged shadows that have helped contribute to the polycrisis we now face as a global community. So, if you are in the US and appalled by what happened yesterday, one productive course of action Is to examine yourself. You can still be angry, but you can’t let that anger become self-righteous.
This is the hard internal work that will bring about the Great Turning.