Hello everyone, I need your help. Although it is something trivial, I can't do this alone.
I started smoking again over the Holidays. 2 years after stopping smoking, I picked it up again. It seems to be a cycle with me. I start smoking every 2 years after stopping.
I stopped on Monday, it went well until last night. I had a moment of weakness and got myself another pack of cigarettes. I will try to stop again tomorrow.
Whenever I had a craving, I would tell myself it will only last a couple of minutes and say the serenity prayer. It was going well until it didn't. I remind myself of how yucky I feel since starting again.
I need light, prayers, will power, resolve, discipline, detox, to love and forgive myself, and I don't know what else.
Thanks for your help!
You are definitely in my prayers and I will send you light and love.
I am a former smoker. One day I noticed that when I would lie down in bed at night I would feel like I was choking a bit (flegm)...then I noticed it when I would wake up. I continued to smoke. Then one night I awoke to tapping on the window behind me. I felt it was Archangels and the hawk spirit of my newly departed Shahman friend letting me know I needed to stop smoking. So one day I got the tapping again and I stopped. Well, of course the choking feeling went away the next night.
It didn't hurt to visualize (as I smoked) the smoke making my lungs black. So I will send the light, but also send yourself the light into your lungs. ? ? ❤️ ❤️ ?
@ghandigirl - holding you in love and light. I know how hard it can be to deal with bipolar/cyclothymia, not myself but loved ones. Take great comfort in knowing that your hyper-self-awareness will protect you and also those around you. The ancient Greeks created the concept of catharsis - releasing negative emotions in a socially appropriate way. To some extent, this forum can serve as an outlet, so keep us posted on how you're doing. Not everyone's brain is wired normally, and bipolar has a strong biochemical component to it. By acknowledging this truth to yourself, you are creating a better outcome too.
@BrightOpal - they say nicotine is worse than opiates. Similarly to what I'm saying to GhandiGirl, keep acknowledging the biochemical aspects of this addiction. Maybe you should try the patch (you can cut them up if they're too strong). I never smoked, but both of my parents were chimneys as I grew up (so I have asthma and learning disabilities, they do not), both of them quit, but not until a life-threatening scenario made them (in both cases, illness, hospitalization, being told by doctor to quit or die). Again, your self-awareness is what will keep something similar from happening to you. Maybe also hypnosis might be a help? Or at the least, maybe when you get a craving, instead of taking 5 minutes to smoke, take 5 minutes to meditate. Maybe just focusing on breathing will help. Hang in there, it's a tough addiction to kick completely. And rest assured knowing it's biochemical, and not a character flaw.
❤️ ? ❤️ ?
I'd like to ask for some light and love for my friend's dog Lilli. Her owner has been my friend for over 60 years. Lilli had an infection which was taken care of, but then the dog wasn't acting right - she started dropping weight and became very lethargic. My friend took her to the vet, which is some sort of clinic situation - so you don't always see the same vet. The vet blew her off totally, told her there is nothing wrong with the dog's weight (7 pounds down on a Weimaraner in a couple of weeks) and the dog is fine. Then Lilli started coughing horribly. Two friends recommended the Sage Clinic in San Francisco. Long story short, Lilli has a huge tumor in her chest. She is a young dog; she is being operated on Friday, and now she is in good hands. But my friend is very upset because she feels like she lost three weeks because of this bozo. So please send Lilli some healing vibes if you can. Thank you so much.
Healing sent to little lily who feels as small as a puppy right now and knows she is loved.
Thank you Laura.
It is comforting to feel that others understand me. This bipolar is a whole new world for me, only recently diagnosed in April and I am 56, almost 57 so I have been experiencing the world through a bipolar filter without knowing it for some time now. I also have PTSD & Anxiety that I deal with. I am healing up nicely, and doing all i can to support myself which includes visiting this forum, especially at night, and especially when anxious.
Reading all the posts and sensing who you all are behind your monikers gives me some peace. I want to thank everyone who has written to me. It has made a difference.
thank you all so much. Susan will be so comforted to hear how much you care.