I literally could have written this post myself not so long ago. And probably could again. I get it, I really, really do.
I am always a warrior for better health and always seem to be on the mend, or sickened, or sad, or ANXIOUS. As I begin to even out again I can observe that me, that me that still has a painful injury, albeit slightly less so. That me who has to stretch and move so as not to lose the ability to do so, after many physical challenges.
You are much younger than I , but please believe me when I tell you that I know the feeling of your body betraying you, and having to learn to ignore pain as much as possible.
I too have lost my hope. I believe I will be a famous artist someday, or at least the bipolar part of me does, yet right now, I am in a holding pattern waiting for the ships to come in.
The Depression sometimes takes me for a spin. Lately though, I can see that I am more aware of the observer in me observing this. And I am finding some peace in working on self forgiveness. And forgiving people who never apologized. I do this for me, not for them. I noticed in your post that you are also able to see the observer in you, observing. That observer is your higher self, and he is there to support you. All you need do is believe. And it hurts to believe and then things just fall apart, or your heart is broken. But you are more than your broken heart Coyote. You are more than this body. You are so much more, and you are made from love, and held in prayer, by me.
That space between the pain body and the higher mind is the space in which I find the most comfort. It is a space that reminds me that I am eternal. It is a space that makes me grateful for the touch of a loved one, despite the pain in my body that never goes away, the nerve damage I have largely learned to ignore.
It is also true that "it's okay to not be okay." Some days it is just necessary to allow yourself the frustration, the grief, the hopelessness, if only to appreciate when you are able to put some space around it all, and decide to keep on trying.
Little brother, you feel like family to me. You will come out on the other side of this fire like iron. I feel it strongly.
p.s. Tonight I stated and prayed,if I can only stay alive till the vaccine arrives, please G-d.
Its just wanting to get this election over with and starting to heal that’s so stressful......and fearing it won’t happen. I can’t believe there are so many millions that support him as if he’s a god! I’m still hoping my sister wakes up.
Anita
Im with you, Coyote. Every day for 4 years, all the awful things he’s said and done.
its so tough to hang in there. Remember how we hated Bush? Now that’s a memory. I try to remind myself whenever I get petrified.....this will soon be a memory. I can’t wait until he’s gone! Hang in there.
Anita
I feel for you and your physical struggles. The emotional and mental tole makes it even harder. I will keep you in my prayers and especially focus on you tonight during the meditation.
One must sometimes take time just to focus on healing and TLC for oneself. I know that many of us sometimes feel a bit guilty when we do that - focus on ourselves. I know it's like when you are in an airplane, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can place it on your child.
As Jeanne usually says: "We got this". I know many of us will place you in the circle tonight, but I hope you will continue to place yourself there too.
When you mentioned going to your parents in CT I got a good feeling about it. I'm glad you will be there, since I got a sense of healing during that time and place. ? ❤️ ?
Dear Ghandigirl, my heart goes out to you in the situation with your mother. I'll be sending you lots of love and light tonight and praying that the Universe intervenes so that you will have the ability to reach her. Sometimes things happen for a reason though and perhaps you will be able to reach her when the time is right for her and you. I have family and friends who have dementia and it's so difficult.
One of our closest friends has frontal lobe dementia. He's not communicating much anymore, but when I called one day to talk to his wife (they are extended family), he picked up the phone after many months of no communication and said "I love you Tricia". I noticed that when I let go, they suddenly have a moment that surprises me. ? ❤️
I'm sorry that this is late, I'm just now getting a bit caught up, but I will definitely keep you in our prayers and healing meditation tonight. I know how you feel and have had the same thing happen recently so I'm with you and giving you a big hug and lots of light. ? ❤️
I'm getting caught up here and just read you had an accident on the autobahn! I'm so sorry and I pray you are all feeling well and unharmed! I'm so grateful you are ok and I know how the autobahn is since I've been to visit family in Germany many times. They drive so fast there it's scary and a miracle that you are all fine. I'll definitely place you in the circle tonight during the meditation too.
I know that foxes are a very powerful animal spirit and I think you will be the one to figure out the message from the fox during one of your own meditations :)
My love and healing light to you dear Baba! ? ❤️ ?
@triciact Thanks for your kind words. I am feeling much better today and the soreness has improved. We may be without our car for a while due to repairs, but since we are about to be locked down again we will be spending a lot of time at home in any case. The autobahn is indeed something that is best approached with plenty of respect and care but as the fox showed us, unexpected things can and do happen despite all the care we take.
Thanks, Tricia! I am reconciled to what happened, and although still sad, it didn't take long because I was true to myself and that's important to me.
I try to be hopeful that all the relationships that have been strained or destroyed by this evil, evil man can be made right.
Sadly, I think the majority of T. supporters won't wake up unless it affects them personally in a negative way, and even then.
I get it; I would like to curl up in a hole like a hamster with a piece of fruit for the next week. Someone tell me when it's over. LOL