He did the best thing he could do by seeking out inpatient treatment. Support him with your love and prayers during his treatment; once he is back in the world he will need your support, too. What a terrible situation he has been in!
@pamp I’m so sorry to hear this. I will lift you all up in prayer. Just be there for him if you can. You take care of yourself too. He’s safe where he is. Sending you all healing white light and lots of love.
@pamp i will be praying for your brother, and for you and your family. Peace and love to you.
@pamp sending lots of compassionate strengths and warm hugs. I’m not sure what more you can do except for being there for your brother and support him with lots of care and love. Let him know he matters and you’re proud of him for recognizing his pain and his courage for taking the necessary steps to seek help and support.
share the love and light
I can feel how heavy your heart is right now.
I envisioned a blanket of love wrapping around you. Also that you and your brother feel hope and this weight lift off of each of you. May you both know that you are loved.
One of my brothers tried to kill himself this morning. He's missing his wife who unexpectedly died in January. Because of medical debt related to the care of his severely disabled stepson the house has to be sold to pay for his living facility. I think my brother has been holding it all in, trying to be the stoic man his father tried to beat him into, but he finally snapped. Beer and weed are not good coping mechanisms, and that's what he's been doing. He beat a heroin addiction years ago, with his wife's help, but I have a feeling he went back to that. He has signed himself into a psych unit, so no drugs for the time being. I don't know how to help him if he can't or won't open up to any of us.
As someone with years of Nar-Anon meetings under their belt, I'm here to say that you can't help him, he has to help himself. You can't fix him or change him. You can't save him or improve him. You can't protect him from himself or from his life circumstances.
What you can do: You can keep expressing love and support. Your love does not have to be unconditional. You can hold him accountable. You can listen if and when he does want to talk. You can offer encouragement without judgment.
@pamp I am sending you love. I agree with @Laura 100%. I'm sending you love and sending him love too. Usually, what happens with drug addiction is that the family finally lets go, surrenders to the understanding that only the addicted one can help himself. Sending love, knowing that he is loved is the best way-- from a distance.
@snowbird, I agree with you about taking care not to use the body mind connection to blame the victim when someone has an illness. I've known people who are so sure they know the emotional cause of an illness, and it amounts to blaming the victim, which makes it worse. Back in the 1980's, when the body-mind connection was revving up, there was so much blaming the victim.
But the body-mind connection is real, and every emotion has a corresponding chemical component in the body. So if we can look at the whole person, not just treat physical symptoms as something separate, there can be a benefit. The key is to remain agnostic, open, and not fundamentalist about it. The key is to use the possibility of an emotional aspect of an illness as a point of inquiry.
I get knee problems and Louise Haye says, control issues, and she's right in my case. I need to relax more, let go, and my knee gets better too.
When it comes to children, physical symptoms can sometimes tell us something that could be going on emotionally that the child can't tell us. So if we can use that information to check something out, rather than ignore it, there could be a breakthrough.
I have a friend who was being sexually abused by her grandfather all through her elementary school years. She couldn't tell anyone because she was too young and he was her grandfather, but right after the abuse began, her face swelled up, and she broke out in welts all over her body. She suffered serious weight gain too. Her parents never figured out that there was an emotional cause. She had to deal with it herself.
So, no, don't blame the victim, and don't be so damn certain, but don't ignore the body-mind connection either.
@pamp, Laura and Jeanne already said it. Only he can help himself. Be there, don't judge and do not offer advice. That will only make it worse: he already knows these things. First step is seeking help which he already did! Thinking of you and sending you my prayers. ❤️
@pamp You are not alone. I'm sending you love and healing energy. It takes an emotional toll to watch a loved one struggle with addiction, and it's so easy to put our own reactions and needs on the back burner. I hope that you have people who you yourself can turn to for comfort and support now.