A few people have been posting about their bi-polar disorder in another thread so I've created this topic for them and anyone else who wants to post about it.
So we are all on the same page, please read what the APA (American Psychological Association) writes about it: https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/bipolar-disorders/what-are-bipolar-disorders
The main characteristic of bi-polar disorder is extreme highs and lows in energy, mood, and ability to function. These mood episodes are categorized as manic/hypomanic (abnormally happy or irritable mood) or depressive (sad mood). And the symptoms vary by person in how extreme they are and how long they last.
While the APA is not the final word, it helps to know what they mean by the term bi-polar since they coined it.
You can also look up the DSM-5 (Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) on the subject. This is the Bible for counseling/diagnostic clinicians that sums up the studies on diagnoses.
Although the APA and the DSM is not the final word, (at one point, they considered being gay a disorder), their diagnoses are base on good science.
While the literature is filled with the devastating aspects of bi-polar disorder, including increased risk of suicidality, devastating gambling behavior, sexual addictions and all kinds of addictions, and devastating bouts of anger and even violence,
I am interested in some of the positive aspects bi-polar disorder.
People who have manic episodes can also experience moments of great possibility, brilliance, and thinking.
I've thought that Georg Friedrich Händel must have been in a manic episode when he wrote the Messiah in five days. So I googled it and at a neurobiology conference on bi-polar disorder one psychiatrist maintained that Handel was bi-polar along with Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Leo Tolstoy, Virginia Woolf, Judy Collins, and James Taylor.
Copying these bipolar posts here:
@Ghandigirl Today was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, and I was unbelievably depressed. Just wretched.Only now do I realize this advice is also meant for me, and that is because you both reminded me. These helped a lot too:Forgiveness? Does not mean you have to allow them space in your life again. It means not holding that harm and hurt as part of your energy anymore. ""... there is no shame in asking for help when you need it. We must learn to receive as well as to give.."I know why you felt compelled to write this, because G-d knew that I really needed to hear it. Instead of writing here for support, I weakened myself with inconsolable grief the entire day.. Bipolar Depression is a burden. I was too ashamed to reach out today. This is also a very good reminder.
@Febby23 My son in law has bipolar. It’s hard. Please know that you are loved and cared for. You are precious and vital. We need your spirit and light. This is what I always tell him. The most tender, beautiful souls are the ones who understand the struggle. Love to you friend. Peace be with you always.
@Journeywithme2 My best friend from high school is bi-polar. she is a wonderful person. just as you are.
@Jovesta I am also bipolar. If you need any guidance or positive talk, I am here! I have been under control for years
@Polarberry Add me to the club. It's a struggle always but years of being looked at sideways have made me realize bp people are special in a lot of very good ways. Society and science tend to focus on only the negative(s) of the disorder. I will never again apologize for being who and how I am. I don't know your whole story, ghandigirl, but judging from your posts, you are intelligent and empathetic and forgiving. Reach out if you need to because there's no shame in it at all.
@Moonbeam I think there are quite a few BiPolars on this forum incl me;-) Perhaps it is our brain makeup that makes us feel so much and see past the misty curtains of time. Know that you do not have to stand alone. Forgive yourself for whatever you blame yourself. It is okay to feel down sometimes as long as you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.Big, virtual hug ❤️ and take all the cuddles your little furries can give you .
Last couple years I've become increasingly interested in the link between disorders like bpd and migraines and psychic ability. I wonder if there's any good books on the subject.
I am bipolar, and with a lot of people depending on me, I consider it my solemn obligation to listen to my doctor, take the damned meds, and studiously avoid social media "experts" on what might or might not help, and why I have been so 'gifted'.
It is anecdotal, to be sure, but I can tell you this quite definitively from personal experience: my worst breakdowns, when my meds are most likely to stop working? Are when large groups of people are on the verge of being hateful and violent.
I'm not sure you can call that psychic, per se, so much as simply intuitive. I was virtually catatonic, though, on a suicide hotline for 5 hours, the day before the insurrection. We're still working to get the med combination correct, but my nerves knew the day before it happened. You might even call it "pre-traumatic stress disorder" I suppose.
That is so interesting. I always say that unless you live with a bp brain, you can't really understand what it's like. I realize that may sound somewhat arrogant, but it's true in that it's so hard to explain what's it's like to have a brain you can never, ever shut off.
One thing to be at peace with... Bipolar Disease is simply a chemical difference in our brains. The meds IMO should not be seen as a drag. They are my key to balance. Yes, every so often I have days where the swing is stronger than the meds typically control and I just go with it. I understand it and there is no stigma involved. My mom was bipolar, as well as my grandfather. I am pretty sure that my trans son is bipolar as well, although we have not been able to get him checked out for it yet.
Another thing. And this is a question to my bipolar buddies. Do you get the brain zaps as you are edging towards sleep? When things were really stressful before the inauguration, I was having mass zaps and it got close to being really scary. Just curious if you have that as well...
Yes, and there is a lot of research being done at present on the functionality of glial neural cells in people with a wide array of disorders. The best analogy I can think of is that a bipolar brain has intermediary neurons that are the equivalent of wiring for a 110 volt wall outlet in places where we need the 220v wiring. Other folk are only running space heaters to those parts of the brain, but we're trying to run heavy duty baseboard heaters and the circuit breakers are fried.
High quality fish oil, lutein, and capsaicin help. But not as much as a good mood stabilizer and maybe not living through a freaking racist insurrection.
It was very comforting to find this new thread. Thank you for this.
I have often wondered about psychic ability and bipolar disorder. I have known I had psychic ability my whole life, but I have only known I was bipolar for a little less than two years.
It is something I am still grappling with. For me the manic aspect helps me to work for hours on my art. I tend to finish pieces the same day. More troubling is the depression which can be a tsunami of grief at times.
I would like to learn more about the positive aspects. Encouraging to hear that Honest Abe was bipolar.
As for brain zaps, I do find that at the end of the day, Anxiety sometimes grabs ahold. I limit my news consumption at night, if I am able to(binge watching news videos can be a manic trap sometimes), and having a sleep routine +sleeping aid helps a lot. Having been recently diagnosed with Inattentive ADHD has compounded my difficulties. I am still in the anger- denial- bargaining stage I guess. I don't want to have either of these conditions, but I will at some point need to decide to be okay with them.
For me the manic aspect helps me to work for hours on my art. I tend to finish pieces the same day.
My late husband was bipolar, and ADHD. For the first ten years of our 30 year marriage he was undiagnosed. When he was finally diagnosed it was "Atypical Bipolar" which simply meant they couldn't really figure him out :) His IQ was just under 200. He was a jazz drummer, a songwriter, a brilliant photographer, a woodworker, a healer, an intuitive. He could fix anything, yet he rarely finished his own projects. You finish things! Wow. I am impressed. and delighted. We learned to cope with manic, especially when the meds did not seem to work with his body chemistry, with sheer will power and a belief in Spirit. I don't recommend going without meds to anyone. In his case every med he took created almost catastrophic side effects. Hence the A-typical. In conjunction with a wonderful physician we worked with diet and herbals. In conjunction with Spirit, we worked with energy and Light. It was not in the least easy. It was all compounded by a vascular tumor in his arm and a brain tumor we knew nothing about until the last eight months of his life when the first broke his arm and the second became apparent during chemo. He was a Vietnam Vet, and I believe Agent Orange created the tumors and his experiences in 'Nam exacerbated everything. He was spit on when he came home from 'Nam.
I am here for you anytime you need to talk. Email me whenever you need. I cannot speak to being bipolar and ADHD but I can speak to 30 years of life with the dis-ease and encouragement in seeing someone working to balance the manic with the art. Altho the marriage was ...to say the least....tumultuous (and second marriages for both of us) we kept on keeping on, trusting in communication, Spirit, and most of all of course, Love.
I can tell you are loved here in this wonderful energy. I add mine. Blessings and Light.
@ghandigirl if you (kind of) have it under control it can be positive. My psychiatrist put the phases into +1 (manageable) to +3 (off the charts manic) and -1 (manageable depressed) to -3 (suicidal).
Although I've only had one +3 manic episode in my life, I do get +1s more often. These are jump started by good things happening. I find that I experience emotions more intensely because of it, which is great when manic; happy feelings galore;-)
The downside of course is that depression can also drag you down. As a child I loved the series Alias Smith & Jones and was gutted to find out that Pete Duel had committed suicide. As a kid that had a big impact and in a weird way, has helped me fight suicidal thoughts. It is the reason why I do not want to be defeated by depressions, even though I get them regularly. I refuse to. I will not give up. I feel it, I die a little inside, but I cannot follow the end game of -3, even though I have come close.
Despair still comes easy though. My failure to heal Starlight, the kitten I got in December, hit me like a ton of bricks because of it. Feelings can be overwhelming. These are things you cannot avoid.
I know I can go from +1 to -1 pretty easily, so I try to stimulate good feelings by music I love, movies that make me happy and good experiences. It has been harder this past year, but I thank my daughter being here for me not falling off the cliff: I have her to care for, to stay sane for.
It does take the effort to know yourself though. Every single button.
To make a long story short; it is my personal opinion that those who are Bi-Polar are more susceptible to feelings and emotions. We react with gut instinct more often than 'common sense'. Taking a step back is harder. The upside is that we can use that to make life a wonderful experience, *if* we manage to keep negativity away. We have the ability to feel life at an intense level. To me that is a gift.
It might be that that is also connected to being an empath etc., but I cannot say.
Since I have epilepsy as well, I might just have a very strange brain make-up;-)
It must have an impact on creativity though, since many, many artists 'suffer' from it. Vincent v. Gogh was one, but many living artists as well if Wiki is to be believed.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_with_bipolar_disorder
At any rate, hope it helps you a little @ghandigirl
Find the good things in life and MD/BP will increase it 10 fold. As Sinatra said: "Being an 18-karat manic depressive, and having lived a life of violent emotional contradictions, I have an over-acute capacity for sadness as well as elation."
I can't take any meds. I have problems with my ears so I am always afraid of ototoxic effects, and I have a physical condition that doesn't need to be exacerbated by them.
But on the upside, when I need to get something done, I am a combination of Taz and Roadrunner and can usually make it happen. ?
Last night I slept soundly, but for two nights prior I had what I describe as "bipolar dreaming". Entire movies, largely nonsensical, playing all night long, and waking up exhausted from dreaming so hard. Circles under the eyes kind of tired. Before medication, I dreamed like this for years whenever the ADHD wasn't causing decades long insomnia, that is.
Very emotional, feeling saddened by Texas, and everything else. G-d Bless America, my Home Sweet Home.
Does anyone else experience these intense lucid dreams and visions?
@ghandigirl, yes I recognize it. Most of the time it's how I see things happen prediction wise. Partly awake / 'lucid dreaming'. I haven't been *not tired* since my 20s I think. Being tired is kind of part of the game for me. Even if I sleep for 9 hours straight.
Is this new for you? Because it can be quite something to deal with.
@ghandigirl could it be that your brain chemistry has gotten used to the medication and thus your natural abilities can shine through?
That's a positive way to view it.
It tends to feel like my meds just aren't working as well. I don't know. It's all new to me still.
I have been toying with the idea that on some level, we choose the existence we go through -- not quite an analog to karma, but a quite similar notion: what lesson am I trying to get from all of this?
I especially think about it when I see things like "+1 to +3". I'm a mixed state (Bipolar II), so for me, mania is a clear "-3" and not in the least bit fun or productive. Energetic, yes, but entirely negative.
I am finally on good enough insurance and with a good enough physician to be on the right Rx, and it makes a world of difference. Forest bathing helps, too.
What I think about, though, on a meta level, is forgiveness. It doesn't come easy to me, or at least, on a meaningful level. As a peacemaker, having a forgiving face is easy. It's having a forgiving heart and soul that takes some doing.
And I think, on some level, knowing that the electrochemical makeup of my brain is just a wee bit whack-a-doodle makes it easier for me to be less judgmental of my equally flawed human foils out there in the world. They are merely crazy in a different way than I am.
I have been toying with the idea that on some level, we choose the existence we go through -- not quite an analog to karma, but a quite similar notion: what lesson am I trying to get from all of this?
I believe you are entirely correct with that but then again I'm just an incarnate human so...
And I think, on some level, knowing that the electrochemical makeup of my brain is just a wee bit whack-a-doodle makes it easier for me to be less judgmental of my equally flawed human foils out there in the world. They are merely crazy in a different way than I am.
Yep, we are all whacko in our own way. Not-crazy is boring IMO. ?
I just woke up from a nap. Finally crashed. Have barely slept the last two weeks due to reluctance to go to bed/sleep. Intensity of my dreams was really bothering me.
moonbeam, same here. Always tired no matter how awake I am or how much I am able to get done. Having a bpb is exhausting.
I am learning that reframing my whole life through the bipolar lens has led to a lot of self recrinination and judging. I am well enough to see how unwell I was, and I am far enough along to recognize the futility of blaming myself. It is like blaming myself for needing glasses. Self forgiveness is the way, loving the "Bipolar Betty" in me, as I have named her.