Posted by @jeanne-mayell : So much wisdom in your words, Jeanne. Thanks also to @ghandigirl, @lovendures, and @seeker4 for being so open and sharing your incredible insights with us. Your words have helped me more than you'll ever know.
There's a way in which someone who refuses to reconcile controls and manipulates us as we teeter on the brink trying not to fall over.
Posted by @jeanne-mayell :
@seeker4So powerful, your words, and your whole post. I agree that there is a way that a person's refusal to reconcile with another is a way to control the other person. And your statement got me thinking that it is also a way to controlherself. She's blocked out her own conflicted, confused, and painful childhood, as a way to fool herself into thinking she achieved control over those feelings. She doesn't yet have the strength to untangle the truth and see that in the end, it's a complex web of forces that caused her pain, not you, and possibly not even him.
Put another way, when someone has suffered, staying angry at someone gives them the illusion of control over that suffering.
In the case of your daughter, she finally got to have her father who had abandoned her all those years. But she still suffers from the pain of growing up feeling rejected by him. So she's created a story that he never really rejected her, because it was you who caused him to stay away.
We fabricate these myths when we refuse to forgive someone for the pain we endured.
It comes down to forgiveness. If we can't forgive someone, then we have refused to accept a world in which bad stuff happens to us and others.
What if it's no one's fault (and everyone's fault)? What if people are frail and traumatized and harm others because of what happened to them? What if we could understand all the forces that work upon a person that cause them to harm another?
Your daughter can't accept those forces in him, in you, in her, and in this world that have caused her pain. So to feel control and make it simple, she conveniently pins it all on you. But in her actions, she commits a terrible act of harm upon you.
It sounds like you are able to stop the cycle of unforgiveness by forgiving her, understanding her frailty, loving yourself, and yes, by keeping the door open.
@ghandigirl, I pray for you to find peace in this too. And thank you for reaching out. It takes courage to lay it out for us here. I hope it has helped you. I know you have helped us.
here is an incredibly moving post by @jeanne-mayell:
This happened a while back but it's so amazing that if you haven't read it, it is worth it now. I once saw a YouTube of some people who freed a whale tangled in fishing gear. Afterwards, she did a thank-you victory dance in the water for them. I'll find it and link it.
But this story is even more special.
A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so badly off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her…. a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, nudged them, and pushed gently, thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.
May you be so fortunate … To be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.
@bluebelle nailed how we all feel at this point about those who are keeping everyone unsafe. Thank-you, dear friend, for saying what needs to be said:
"In watching all these anti-vaxxers, I realize we are witnessing mass psychosis. They are brainwashed by the misinformation they receive on Fox News, Facebook and right wing extremist sites. It’s just unreal and unsettling and deeply, deeply disturbing. We’ve never experienced anything like this in our lifetimes. After watching these defiant, angry people act out in public, I’ve decided I don’t care if they don’t like masks and vaccines and science and truth. I’ve had it. They should be ostracized for their bad behavior because most of the country is horrified by this new pandemic of the unvaccinated.
Posted by @cindy :
I'm glad to hear so many are ok after the storm. There is something to be said for the peace of mind in knowing. Tho following such knowing can be hair raising in itself. Novella ensues:
Monica's funeral (the first of the crash) was on a Wednesday. We had funerals we attended every day following that. To be precise-2 or 3 daily. On Saturday after going to the morning funeral, the funeral staff notified us that Monica's ashes were now at the funeral home, as were some personal effects. Those items started a chain reaction that lead to my activism. The mistakes made were traumatic to say the least. In trying to regroup myself before the mid day funeral, I chose to read sympathy mail, only to come across hate mail.
The short version of this long tale is that there were right wing militias back then too. They hated that Monica's media coverage gave exposure to equal rights, the environment, and other progressive viewpoints. I spent hours that day at the police station while they investigated both the letter & what needed to be done to keep me safe. Even the postmaster was dragged into the mix to see the odds of someone being able to find my house should my rural delivery address become known. I was asked to stay home, stop going to funerals, keep a low profile (my face had been shown all over the globe at the funeral), vary my hopefully limited visits/ routes to & from the grocery store or bank. I was trained on how to check packages & my car for bombs.
In the decades since, I've only disclosed this a few times -just recently. I only checked my car for bombs once, as my 5 year old didn't stay behind the cart corral where I placed him for safety. Instead as I was on my knees checking the undercarriage as instructed, his tiny voice asked me from inside the car what I was doing. It was less than 3 weeks from losing my daughter in an explosion. I told him I had dropped my keys so I didn't scare him. The whole drive home I kept feeling the push to stop checking the car as it would psychologically harm my little one. I could feel that the militia were cowards who wouldn't be able to touch me. I prayed every time I didn't check the car & turned the key. In spite of the request to keep a low profile, I could feel Monica pushing me to do what was right. Just weeks later I found myself in another malestrom of press as I testified in front of Congress for the first time. I even had to make my home address & phone number (unlisted) public on my written testimony.
Fast foreward 25 years. In an interview for this years anniversary, the head of the NTSB commented on the law I helped to get passed. I knew the law was intended to give aid & support to survivors of transportation accidents. That's why I heeded the nudges to testify & attend DC meetings, have my own agent assigned to remedy the issues I faced to help those in the future in similar circumstances. But this summer I came to find out that once the assistance program I fought to have created exsited, it cascaded through our government & eventually internationally. The program became much of the basis for disaster response for survivors. I was flabbergasted.
People thought I was nuts for putting myself on the line (think stress) in doing what I did, and they had no clue of the real scope of what I was dealing with. It took a quarter of a century for me to realize why I was being urged from beyond so strongly to do what I did.
My point here is to show that you may not know why you are being led to do something. You may not see the ultimate outcome for decades-if ever. Still, follow the guidance you are given. Sometimes, you'll even have to do it in spite of the most well intended advice others are urging. There's a reason we are guided as we are. I assume that when we fail to follow our guidance, we'll either face consequences we'd rather not (like flooded basements), or alternative methods to achieve the desired goal will be plotted by the heavens.
I also wrote this to show that in the wake of the Texas laws, current political strife, etc., that such behavoirs have exsisted for eons. They were hidden back at the time of the crash for the most part, but have become more obvious. The more they are exposed, the more the collective can deal with them & support each other. Don't dispair- as I found out the hard way, the heavens will lead those who are willing to listen in the right direction to overcome.
@Cindy, your posts is so inspiring. @lovendures, thank you for posting her incredible words.
Now here are more powerful words that moved me, and probably you too:
From @ghandigirl
I have come to some realizations lately that have helped me to experience a paradigm shift.
It began with a dream where I heard myself say,"I am confused." and it has ended up with me finding a way out of daily grief and unforgiveness towards myself and others. I felt like I was drowning for years.
I have rediscovered the joy of being alive, having running water, plenty of food, kitty companions, amazing friends, and a very supportive and loving partner through life's adventures.
I am learning to accept my mood disorders at least a bit more and also to lightly extend a loving hand towards my child.
I want to thank all of you here for being an uplifting network of support. You liked me even when I didn't like myself. You have taught me a lot over these last many years that I have been a forum member.
Now more than ever I realize how very fragile life is and that we must live it gently. I also know how strong we are, and how bright the light is, even with all the efforts of those who would have us blindly walking and stumbling in that moonless forest of Cindy's.
I am returning to my true nature, of being a gentle steward and helper. I am feeling much better. I am ready for the future, and hope to have many more years here on Earth. We are not promised tomorrow, but if I can live and stay brightened, I feel my life will have been more than I ever even dreamed of or imagined for myself.
Gratitude feels so much better than despair and I am overwhelmingly grateful to no longer be flattened in the mud as I have been for more years than I can bear to admit. So on this Rosh Hashanah , where all new things are possible, I rise.
These last five years have left so many people discouraged. It takes a gifted eye and a lot of heart courage to practice active hope. @dannyboy does it in this Hall of Fame post:
"Acknowledge the worry, as you have here, but do your best to put it aside. There's so much at play here - do you honestly think a democrat forced to choose between Biden and Trump in 2024 will "sit this one out?" - there's far too much on the line.
I had a reading awhile back - eventually I'll find where I posted it here, but there's something coming in the next little while. While the media is trying to go back to "crisis of the day" - the California Recall, the inflation numbers going down - these two things alone are great reasons for hope.
Plus a bunch of people a hell of a lot better than I am at reading the future have seen plenty of things into 2024 and beyond that indicate this is a bumpy patch but by no means an indicator that we're spiraling back towards what we just left.
It's really, really easy to trash a room. Put your mind to it and you could completely empty every drawer, cabinet, bookshelf, into a jumbled heap on the floor in under 10 minutes.
It will take much, much longer to clean it back up again.
I'm not worried friends. Stay true!
Light and love to you all." -- @dannyboy
These last five years have traumatized so many. It takes a gifted eye and a lot of heart courage to practice active hope and see how we will push through to a more beautiful world. @dannyboy does it in this Hall of Fame post:
"Acknowledge the worry, as you have here, but do your best to put it aside. There's so much at play here - do you honestly think a democrat forced to choose between Biden and Trump in 2024 will "sit this one out?" - there's far too much on the line.
I had a reading awhile back - eventually I'll find where I posted it here, but there's something coming in the next little while. While the media is trying to go back to "crisis of the day" - the California Recall, the inflation numbers going down - these two things alone are great reasons for hope.
Plus a bunch of people a hell of a lot better than I am at reading the future have seen plenty of things into 2024 and beyond that indicate this is a bumpy patch but by no means an indicator that we're spiraling back towards what we just left.
It's really, really easy to trash a room. Put your mind to it and you could completely empty every drawer, cabinet, bookshelf, into a jumbled heap on the floor in under 10 minutes.
It will take much, much longer to clean it back up again.
I'm not worried friends. Stay true!
Light and love to you all." -- @dannyboy
Poetry by our @lovendures on 9/11 remembrance. She lifts us up with her great spirit:
"Prayers of remembrance for the people lost on 9/11.
Prayers for the families and friends still grieving and healing.
Prayers that our nation may once again find a way to come together for the common good, in love, kindness, hope and compassion. That our actions may demonstrate the best of humanity.
Gratitude for the lessons learned, to not take any day for grated, to love fully and with purpose.
Gratitude for those who ran toward danger to help and those to who bonded together to heroically prevented further tragedy that day.
Prayers for those still afraid of flying, of what might happen next and of people who look different than themselves.
Prayers that we can heal that which manifested from that darkest of times 20 years ago and the 20 years of war since.
May we always find the lighthouses during the storms.
May peace prevail on earth." -- @Lovendures
Here's another message from @ghandigirl, posted in the Great Turning 5 thread.
I had some distinct visions and messages today. Looking at that map gave me such a bad multi-layered feeling. I felt the immense sorrow of the Covid States. I felt the confusion of the newly dead, the regret and sadness of the sick, and the stubborn mental illness of the folks who just keep feeding the virus. The sheer lack of empathy is enough to take a sensitive empath out at the knees.
That being said, I also saw clouds parting, and rays of sunshine pointing up towards the Heavens, and then moving as one downwards where they hovered over the Earth. I saw light workers causing the sunbeams to shimmer into glittering flecks that fell like gentle golden confetti and engulfed the Earth, like a small hug to the Earth. The Earth was still sick but she was getting a golden sweater of love knitted in every person and being on the planet who shines their light.
Now in Space, I was looking through the Hubble's lens at our galaxy and then slowly saw all around me, and rippling outward, a scenario that was like a movie with moving images of all sorts of stars and places. I saw Saturn's Rings and Jupiter and then moving further outward, I saw the Earth in gold. The earth looked coated in gold glitter from space.
Angels were above us and cherubs were floating on the surface. Then I felt and saw all the visions in fast motion switched to reverse and going backwards in time to the vision of the upward facing sun rays at the beginning. There were angels above those sun rays too. This brought a great feeling of peace to me and a deep knowing that this is where we are. We are about to bring enough light to cause those upwards rays to move and then transform into a golden blanket all over the Earth. Some may live to see the Transformation. It is indeed The Great Turning.