@unk-p Like so many, they are only Pro life until a child is born. Where are they when that child needs nurturing, guidance, and medical attention to thrive? When leadership makes policy that risks children's lives, we've bottomed out as a society.
Trigger warning story below.
I am offering this story with love but realize it may be an emotional trigger for some and so I offer it with a warning to consider this before reading.
We all know someone who has had an abortion. It is possible you are not aware of the identify of that person, but you know them none the less. It could be your neighbor, a new friend, your aunt or shock of shocks, even your mother. Perhaps your choir director, your child's teacher or your doctor.
I have known a few women who have chosen to get abortions for a variety of reasons over the years. I feel blessed that they have shared their experience and journey with me. Not one decision was easy for them and their choice is something they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.
I have a story I would like to share with you which I feel is important currently with all that is happening in Texas.
20+ years ago a dear, sweet and kind family member was newly married to a man who refused to have children. He had already been married with a son and did not want to be a father again. Period. His son had a lot of challenges. Her husband was also a bit controlling, highly intelligent and charmingly manipulative. He wanted nothing to do with any further children. I was not a fan of his. I had my concerns when they got married. I didn't like how he tried to manipulate me and others during family gatherings either. He was narcissistic. I thus backed away from family gatherings when they did occur. His wife and I no longer had much contact with each other, we had been very close. We lived in different states so contact was infrequent anyway.
When this kind family member discovered she was pregnant, she went to the clinic to get an abortion and when her husband picked her up at the appointed time, he had assumed she had had gotten one.
She hadn't gone through with the procedure however, but she let him think she had. She did not tell a soul she was expecting. I assume she was afraid. Afraid of him and his reaction. She was also utterly alone now with this secret that she was carrying an unwanted child.
Her mental health already was fragile, this was a known fact. I don't know whether she was told by the clinic she was too far along for an abortion or whether she hoped her husband would change his mind once the baby came. Her sister was at the time, actively looking to adopt a child of her own. This may have also played a roll in her choice to have this baby, to possibly give it to her sister. I don't know how her husband didn't discover she was still expecting either. The rest of the family didn't know about her condition, mostly lived far from her, and didn't realize there was reason to be concerned.
When she went into labor, she did so alone at home and there was a complication. Both she and the baby died at home. The family was in complete shock and absolutely devastated. They lost a daughter and a child they didn't know she was having. At the funeral her husband kept professing his disbelief that she didn't tell him what was really going on. That "of course" they could have worked everything out had he known...they could have kept the child. ( Again, a master manipulator though the autopsy did clear him from a nefarious act, we were concerned.) Her death changed everyone's life. Her parents were completely broken. So were her siblings. It was the most devastating of times. Healing was long and slow for her siblings, her parents never truly healed.
When there is an unwelcome pregnancy there are women who believe they have no option and chose to have an abortion. There are women who believe they have no choice and opt to go through with their pregnancy, regardless. Both choices can take a toll. Both women are in are in need of mental health support, monetary support (perhaps), understanding, kindness and love. That type of love and support is rare and often woefully lacking for women in such predicaments.
Where is the love and compassion for women who suddenly find themselves excepting a child they are not anticipating in this new Texas "birth the child or be damned" bill?
I write this in honor of my sister-in-law (of blessed memory) who felt she had no option nor anyone to turn to in her time of need. I write this for her family members who were utterly broken in her death and that of her child, who wish they had known. Who wondered what they could have done differently.
Both my daughters have been repeatedly told over the years by 3 aunts, a grandmother and their mother that they will never need to feel alone if facing a situation where an unanticipated pregnancy occurs. That they will be fully supported in all ways on this issue and any issue from which they could use support during their life. That is a gift of their aunt's legacy. Being proactive and making sure they know they are supported no matter what. We owe that to my children, we own that to their aunt.
My daughters are the fortunate ones, they are privileged. I worry about the ones not so privileged. The ones who feel utterly alone with no options, I have seen what can happen to them.
May there be an out pouring of love and light during these dark times and may all people find that they are supported during their life. May we all celebrate with others though good times and many we never feel alone through the bad or even ordinary times.
Thank you for sharing this tragic yet beautiful story with us.
I have told my daughter from jump that a) no pressure from me to make me a grandma, ever, and b) if she does get pregnant accidentally (she has BC implants) I will support her no matter what avenue she chooses.
That's really all the rest of us can do - let other women in our lives know we support THEIR choice.
Thank you Laura.
That's really all the rest of us can do - let other women in our lives know we support THEIR choice.
I totally agree!
I guess the missing ingredient is good birth control education and ease of access to the different methods and take religion out of the equation. Prevention being better than cure.
Regards to all
Here is a creative way a teenage girl dance group protested the new abortion law. Partially filmed at the Texas state capitol in Austin, they channeled their inner Handmaids Tale.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAXFA4_sfxQ
LOVE THIS VIDEO!!!! Thanks!