I just got my second booster. So far only a sore arm. I have been lucky for all these shots, little to no side effects. I have a rare blood condition called Essential Thrombocytosis for which I have to take what is essentially a "chemo" drug that increases (!!) my vulnerability and creates exhaustion, so I still wear a mask for grocery shopping and things like library visits, but other than family (all vaccinated) I rarely see anyone. I have a great emotional support system with family and friends (and here!) and lots of phone conversation, but if I, who have a lifetime of positive affirming studies, knowledge of and use of many healing modalities, and total belief in LIGHT, finds depression creeping up on me, how must others feel?
My home is not being bombed. I have food in my kitchen and I live in sunny Tucson, AZ. As an empath, I find myself, even with enormous Spirit protections, even with all my years of experience and knowledge, being inundated with the pains and sorrows of millions. I am positive and active during the day, it is first awakening that seems to be a problem ...those first moments in-between sleep and waking where there is a grim dread in my gut...almost as if I have not been able to return to the physical body without bringing sadness and dread back with me ...and returning from sleep-etheric work with even more Light than I began was one of my first lessons! So is anyone else experiencing this? This momentary but intense morning dread? Is it that I live alone and no longer have touch available upon awakening that feeds the out of body negatives and allows them in through all my spiritual screens and protections? I work remotely and my family are all busy with their jobs during the day but all I have to do is ask and someone is ready with hugs and love and laughter....and yet each morning for the past few weeks I awaken with dread. I acknowledge it (because stuffing it or denying it only gives it power) and by the time I am actually up and moving around it dissipates, which is why I am wondering the cause. Maybe I need some new visuals for sleep protections? Clearly the war and all the brutal transitions and sorrows and fears are a part of it...but is that all?
I didn't intend any of that....just that I got my booster. Clearly Spirit wanted me to ask since I have deleted and written it all out again several times now...I am not sure this is the best thread to post it in ...but it is where I am and where the words are manifesting.
Thanks for reading. Journal writing for self is always good, but sometimes we need to share those "writing it out" moments and this wonderful forum is a safe and healing place to do just that.
Blessings & thanks, ❤️ 🌺 🌻 🌼 ❤️
Karrie
@tesseract I am very familiar with morning dread. I've no insight to share, though I dearly wish I did. I merely endure it, and try to view it as having less meaning than I think it does. Perhaps there is some comfort in knowing you are not alone in this dreadful occurrence.
Re: vaccine My husband had his 2nd booster a couple of days ago. He was very tired and low-energy the day after but today he was out cleaning up the yard when I was at work. Yay.
Well, I don't feel actual "dread" upon waking in the morning. (I do if I happen to wake at 3 AM or thereabouts that's another situation.)
Instead of dread in the morning, I usually wish I could just keep sleeping and I'm kind of like "Oh crap another day, can I just go back to my interesting dreams?". So I have to make myself get out of bed and either take a shower immediately or go outside and listen to birds and look at the greenery to get myself perked up. Showers are good, but nature is an especially awesome healer. I don't know if this would help either of you, but it does help my attitude. Especially observing the birds. I have a bird feeder outside the kitchen window and near the back patio and in the morning there's always somebody having breakfast there.
I totally understand the morning dread. In my case, I think it's more like Ana said, "Oh crap another day." There has been so much to deal with in life the past several years (both individually and collectively) that I just feel that I'd rather sleep in than deal with the day's responsibilities or whatever weird out-of-the blue challenge might come up in my life or the world at large. I used to have vivid dreams and was able to remember them the next day. These days it's hit or miss whether I can remember any dreams from the night before. That all said, I rarely get a day where I have the luxury to sleep in whether I'm having interesting dreams or not.
Since this thread is about the vaccine, I probably should mention something about the vaccine. :-) A friend of mine got his second booster last Thursday and said it hit him hard on Friday. He was feeling much better on Saturday. It's been about six months since his first booster and the second was recommended by his doctor. My Mom on the other hand is thinking of waiting until Fall to get her second booster as she feels that's the logical time to get both the booster and her flu shot before winter.
I got my first booster in December so I still have a month or two before considering the second booster. Does anyone have any thoughts on whether it is better to get the booster around six month mark or wait until fall? I apologize if this has already been discussed in this thread.
@tesseract This post really resonated with me. I've grappled with depression most of my adult life and only in the last year or so sought some treatment for it. I'm in a similar boat - I have a good job, a stable, loving home, a good support network, etc - but I've always had what I call a "demon" whispering to me that I'm not good enough, that people don't like me, etc. I fought that demon hard last year in particular as the pandemic brought me to a point where my mild depression was becoming all-consuming. I'm better now but I've definitely felt it on the uptick again the past six weeks in particular. I'm hopeful that as the snow leaves and the land around me begins to come out of hibernation that I'll be able to shake things off. Part of it is exactly what you identified - me soaking in the collective energy whether I want to or not. It's tough to manage. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
No booster for me - I'm only 42 (almost 43) and aside from a weight problem I'm still combating have no real pre-existing conditions that qualify me for ignoring the 50+ crowd number. If things were to open up however I would gladly take a second booster and round my shots out to four. I will continue to be the lone masker everywhere I go.
I wonder if a forum related to depression/mental health would be appropriate and helpful.
@tesseract thanks for bringing up morning dread. And thanks to @melmystery, @ana and @billymike for weighing in. I have it too, some days more than others.
It doesn’t matter how much good I do for others and myself in this world, it still arises.
Being in Nature helps, morning coffee really helps, hiking, gardening, getting my body moving is good for nearly everything that ails me. The Circle of Light Loving Kindness meditation on Wednesday helps. But most of all, it helps to read that so many empathic people also feel it during that moment between sleeping and waking.
It makes me want to do better. It’s tricky because I can get into a self blame game. What did I do wrong to bring on this feeling? I wonder. Then I remember that scene in Shindler’s List when Shindler sobbed that he should have saved more people.
So if Shindler, who saved so many lives, still felt he should have done more, then it's normal for caring empathic people who feel the pain in the world, to continue feeling they too should be doing more. That feeling is just part of being an empath.
@dannyboy I too am the Lone Masker when I go out and about. And I live in a Blue college town! It feels a little odd but I remain resolute, thinking that it may provide encouragement to a fellow masker.
Had the second booster, Pfizer this time, with minimal side effects - chills, feeling odd for a day or so.