How Are We Doing? Wellness Health Check In. Please be Mindful in Your post.

@Coyote. I am rooting for you. Don't let life get you down and think of that Sun card. Sometimes things need to get broken first before it can be fixed in a better and more gratifying way. Try to believe in that. Also, think about what @laura-f said. St. John's is a great herb to try. It benefits some and is less sever than anti-depressants.

@Bluebelle, congrats! May the sun always shine on you, your wings soar and your heart filled with love. ❤️ 

@laynara. There are no words. I am so sorry to read about your loss. Hang in there.

So many hard things to bear for so many right now :( Much love to all of you who are struggling.

Last week, the 14yo daughter of a longtime friend took her life, and last night we found out that our 15yo niece has had suicidal thoughts and depression. The world and this year is pressing down on so many right now, and I have to wonder how much more people will be able to take before they snap.

We moved our son to his apartment at school on Saturday, in a state that hasn't mitigated covid at all or required any sort of distancing or masks. It terrifies me, even though I trust him. The day before he moved back, he and his girlfriend of nearly three years decided to give their relationship a break, even though they are best friends. Makes me so sad, even though it was a mature decision. I don't feel they are done yet, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. We chose the distance learning option for fall for our 15yo daughter ... not an easy decision, but we asked for her input, and she agreed. As hard as this all is and has been, I know my kids are mentally and emotionally doing okay ... so far.

@lovendures. Thank you, my sweet friend!  My birthday month is starting out pretty great, I must say.  It continues next weekend with another small family event in the big city.  I am just living in the moment these days and it helps dealing with all the chaos and turmoil surrounding us.  I keep hoping things are getting better in AZ, but it sounds like you are still in the midst of it.  Much love to you, my friend.

@coyote

I read your post last night before sleeping and you've been in my mind all day.  My experience with reading cards for myself has been so discouraging that I rarely even try that anymore.  When I did attempt it while feeling upset or discouraged, I only threw cards repeating my misery.  I'm convinced that our feelings influence the card process.  So, what I've tried instead, is to wait until I'm on even keel and then read situations, say in the Celtic cross spread.  I would ask, "what will the outcome of this situation be?"  Then I would continue to throw a few cards after the outcome card.  Those extra cards represented how the situation might be in one month, two months, six months.  I might ask, "how will I feel about "x" situation in one month, two months, and so on.  Invariably, I found more peace and clarity about the situation I was concerned about.  It's hard to be dispassionate about oneself.  We are harder on ourselves than we would ever be with a friend, aren't we?  

Have you meditated and tried automatic writing for yourself?  I've found that if I meditate on a topic and wait until I've reached a depth of serenity, I ask questions of spirit as I write.  Sometimes, I will start getting answers during the meditation itself, but then the automatic writing bears it out.  An interesting thing I've noted about this process is that the language of channeled writing is unlike my own writing voice.  I save all these channeled writings and occasionally go back to see if things turned out the way predicted.  It's not bad.  None of us will ever be 100% on this, but we may see a good batting average emerge.

I know your life has had more challenges than anyone should have to endure and yet you have persisted.  You've developed this wondrous perspective on life and a deeper spiritual knowledge than most of us would ever dream of.  I hope you will continue to share that wisdom with us.  

Sending you much love and peace, Coyote.  You're not alone.  Not at all.  

@jeanne-mayell

Thank you for opening the window on John O' Donohue ...what a beautiful gift for Bluebelle's birthday, and one for everyone here.

I was really inspired to see that this late great poet priest and amazing soul had left a legacy of deeply moving writings, and I plan on getting all of his books. Every verse that he wrote is like a poem unto itself.

Here is a little quote from O'Donohue that is charming:

~Morning Offering~

May I have the courage today

To live the life that I would love,

To postpone my dream no longer

But do at last what I came here for

And waste my heart on fear no more.

?

@stargazer He was a close friend of an old friend of mine. She took me to meet him back in the day.  It was after he died that I began to fall in love with his poetry.

@jeanne-mayell

It's so sad that he was taken so young.... how fortunate you were to meet him!

Thank you once again for sharing his beautiful heart and soul with us ?

@bluebelle

I'm intrigued by your automatic writing process, Bluebelle. I've produced automatic writing spontaneously when I've posted on this forum. But I've never sat down with the intention to write automatically. Do you type or handwrite? 

As for reading cards, right now I'm only drawing a card a day. I ask spirit what I need to know about the energies I'll be contending with for the day. Then I imagine light descending down on and use my left hand to draw from the deck (on Sundays I pull a card for the entire week). I've never been made more upset by whatever I pull. I think that even supposedly scary cards like the Tower shed light on my situation while also offering a way forward (that's why I like the Thoth deck; the imagery and possible interpretations are so rich). Maybe I'll try out a more involved process like the one you use once I've learned more about the Tarot and the meanings of the cards.

@coyote

Hi Coyote,  I type my automatic writing.  It just flows.  Then I save the document by date.  I thought many of your posts have been spirit driven in the past and that’s exactly how the automatic writing works for me.  I don’t do that writing on any type of regular basis, just when I feel led to do it, so it feels spirit directed.  

Before I tried this approach, it occurred to me that our writing during the Read the Future exercise was channeled writing.  So,  I thought, why not try it out by meditating on certain questions or topics and then writing whatever came to mind?

I love the Thoth deck, too and agree with your recognition of the richness and complexities within each card.  Each card is a work of art.  You’re inspiring me to pull a card everyday.  

@michele-b I saw your post to me the other day in the hurricane thread. We got hit again (nothing new under the sun there) and I'm just now getting back to you. Sorry for the delay. Nothing big here at the house from the storm really, just tons of tree trash and raking to do. 

You noted that I've been thru a lot in my life, and that is quite true. You also asked if I am still taking care of my family. I had my parents here in the house with me for a year and a half. Difficult to do for several reasons. First their health issues and care needs. Second, the unhealthy relationships that have always been there. Dad fell and fractured his hip in February. He was in rehab for 6 weeks and I had mom at home with me. She had been diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in early January-so it wasn't just a case of Alzheimer's I was dealing with. I knew her days were numbered. I prayed a lot. Just before dad was to be released from rehab in March, heaven helped me get them both placed in the nicest facility in the county-in a room together. Within 36 hours of their admission, all nursing homes went on lockdown because of  Covid. No more admissions or discharges would be made-not to mention visits. 

Within two weeks, the docs called me and said they wanted Hospice involved. I had been trying to get dad to use Hospice services at home for months, but he refused, being in denial as he was. The home gave him no choice. Mom was only there 5 weeks and she was gone. She passed while they were both asleep, so he didn't actually witness the event. I did get to visit her one last time a few days before she passed. 

The home has been great. They made an exception and moved dad from nursing care into assisted living on campus. They even found the furniture necessary to furnish his studio apartment since I cannot do so because of the lock down. Dad has been there since May. I can hear his decline mentally when we talk, and I think back to the dream I posted here months ago about seeing his death. I did misinterpret the dream, thinking that seeing his death meant he'd pass first. I didn't stop to consider that my mother was with my grandfather in the car accident in that dream-meaning she was already gone and was witnessing the rapid decline and eventual crash from beyond. 

10 days after mom passed, I had to put down my border collie. June ushered in a rough patch this year. The approach to the anniversary of Monica's crash can sometimes pass without notice, and some years, like this one, I think of her and cry at the drop of a hat. That's not surprising given the turmoil of the last few years. 

With all that's going on in the world, once I got the folks into the home, a friend had recommended a K-drama on Netflix for me to watch. It resonated with me considerably given the character's familial relationships. That kind of opened Pandora's box for me. As you noted, I've been through much in my life-including lots I've never mentioned to others. It's all been there under a microscope in the last several months. Very present. I've stopped visiting my usual internet haunts (like here), and have stopped reading news (headlines every few days), and have just been looking inward. Even some of what I read here back when George Floyd passed struck me wrong, so I knew it was time to isolate and limit my interactions/reading further. I'm waiting, as well, wondering how long dad has left, and what path I should take accordingly. Will it be the quick downhill as I saw in my dream, or should I go back to work knowing another passing is coming. My sister I'm sure is also nearing her end, and although that relationship is already over, will her passing be before dad's? Lots to consider.

In the mean time, my eating habits have drastically changed, I'm walking daily with the sole remaining dog and hence have dropped a fair amount of weight-almost 50% of a lofty goal I've set. 

My gut says that I'm in transition from one chapter of my life to the next. I'm still trying to figure out if the past traumas that hit me in the face daily are there to be processed one final time, or if it's coming up because there will be someone coming into my life with whom I'm finally supposed to share this information. Funny thing about Pandora and her 'box'- when she put the lid on it, the only 'plague' left inside was hope. I smile daily as I remind myself that that tiny spark of light inside can't be extinguished by outside forces. I also wonder if the past keeps coming up so I can review it and to be reminded of how strong and compassionate I've always been. 

So for the time being, I'll accept that I'm in the place I'm supposed to be-watching love stories much of the time, shielding myself from the harsh realities of the world we currently are facing, and preparing for what comes next in my life. Love, after all is one of the only things we can take with us when we depart this world, so it is of the most value. 

@cindy

Absolutely beautiful and inspirational. 

I am so glad that you are at this point and place in time. It is finally your time. You've worked so hard to do good and be good.

And yes you were always always this amazingly,  amazingly strong.

It makes me sad that the turnover of people on this site means only a few of us know just how much you've gone through.

But if the others could know you through my eyes and my heart, they wouldn't complain or worry about all of the many things so many do.

And that you've lost 1/2 of your weight goal is phenomenal!! Kudos to walking and the power of canine companionship!!

We've lost one too many dogs we've loved so now we have cats and chickens.  For some reason they balk at leashes and walks with us! ???

Love it when you come back and post. ?☀️?

@cindy

So very, very much has happened. Oh how you have been in my thoughts and higher realm prayers.

@jeanne-mayell

I have loved John O'Donohue for a very long time. A number of 100% Irish friends and his books and poetry were a big part of my spiritual inspiration journey.

But being here and hearing them through you during our meditation evenings has raised his many words of wisdom and beautiful  blessings to a whole new level.

His words make my heart ache in a beautiful poignantly good (albeit often also sad) kind of way

???

@cindy

My goodness. So so much but i am so grateful you finally came to a point of placement for them that relieved the unbelievable burden on you.  Life is so challenging. And there has always been a kind of mirroring between our lives though backwards in order and time.

My heart has always felt so deeply connected to yours. I think our angelic helpers/spirit guides and angels know each other in another space/ time/world. So that means we do too in my world spirituality view of reality. 

It's the same with a lot of people here. First time i ever talked virtually to one (V) who used to be here a lot, she told me I was one of her childhood grandmothers who used to help her/talk to her. And I knew instantly it was true.

Makes me laugh with happy synchronicities of so many higher angels gathered around us here. And explains how easily and deeply i can love so many here among us. 

?

@michele-b  So nice to hear you like him.  I met him in a small setting once because a close friend of mine was a close friend of his. He was deep and he seemed sad to me. I noticed the same with Henri Nouwen who I also met when he taught a class I was in.  Both were priests, and both wrote books that helped many, and both had great depth and sadness. 

@cindy, it is so nice to have you back and to hear all that has happened.  So much has happened with you!  Take care, dear beautiful friend.  I was thinking of you the other day and felt your great angel wings that have spread over us all.

@bluebelle

Can I ask what your meditation process is like prior to the channeled writing? Do you just sit with a single topic in mind? Do you do the sorts of meditations Jeanne has led at Read the Future Nights?