Giving readings: ideas, ethics, best practices

@ruby Vesta (why are some @ tags different from names? I love RUBY and Vesta, great names.

Of COURSE you can use "In This Minute!"

I had a fairly steady rule that I would not read for someone within three months of their last reading unless it was some kind of emergency. I felt, still feel, that if the readee doesn't work with the info given, there is not much reason to do another reading. Now there are exceptions, of course, and I responded to those as they merited. I could do that because I wasn't doing readings as income, and most readees saw me at our Center's "Fairs." I am flattered to say I did have folks who came specifically to see me every three months, but you could tell when a person had not worked the information, had not "accepted" what they had been given, because the same info would come through again, and again. I have always seen readings as counseling. I am an ordained Spiritualist Minister so I do have training in counseling, from the spiritual point of view as well as counseling classes during my university years. I almost minored in psychology, but went with Creative Writing instead. What does THAT say about me! 😀 I was always too scared to depend on readings for income, plus, here in Tucson, there was a requirement to have a "FortuneTeller's License" or you could be arrested. Undercover cops would come to services at metaphysical churches, trying to catch intuitives giving medical advice in their messages or other "no-no"s. It was a pretty strange time. We could do "Fairs" via the Center because the Center would have all the legalities under control. Then of course came the Internet and all things changed in terms of access and opportunity. Both for the better and for quite a bit worse. I've said before that the "digital highway" is filled with a kazillion "psychic shops" and it was only when I found @Jeanne-Mayell that I felt I was safe in receiving or giving info—&even then my introvert-ness kept me at the back of the room, still only reading long after the Forum was created.

I agree with you when you said you "encourage readees to wait a week or two before getting a reading on a subject about which they were terribly upset or emotionally affected." Most of them didn't want to wait though!

The most common request (thank heavens not EVERY Fair!) that I got over the decades was "Can I get my girlfriend/boyfriend back?" I always felt so sad for them, but many came back and had dealt with whatever Spirit told them and either the relationships healed or the readee grew enough to have moved on.  I was taught to not remember anything given out once the reading was over, it wasn't my stuff, it was theirs, and I didn't need have it all in my consciousness. It would come back in if they asked or discussed a prior reading, but I never had to retain it all and I've been grateful for that over the years.

Well, there I go blithering on again. DO use the "minute" thing, it helps readees understand how it all works.

🌼

@jeanne-mayell 

I do understand the caution though, sadly, the 'net is a place unethical people utilize for gain.

Being immuno-compromised I rarely go out to gatherings anymore, let alone give readings, which is probably why I am so verbose in the Forum now that I finally found a safe place. I love sharing here, but it is not and never will be for clients. 

Posted by @Jeanne-Mayell

I've been inundated with promoters over the years and have not figured out a way to let people promote themselves or someone they like, yet keep the forum clear of hundreds of promoters.

That's terrible. The net is so bipolar, or maybe, it's simply like the nursery rhyme, When it is good it is very very good but when it is bad it is horrid! 

If all makes me feel a little ill. I had no idea promoters were such a problem. I can be naive. 😟 Thank you for keeping us clear!

& thanks for a place to discuss readings, ethics, and best practices. There isn't much of that out in the "psychic" world, everyone wants to be famous. Our Center fell apart (after 50 years) initially because of the shutdown, but ultimately because the people who were going to get it going again just wanted to be a "Long Island Medium" instead of a Center of Light and Service.

More and more I believe this "space" is extraordinary. Especially now that I understand some of the bumpy roads and glaring billboards on the information highway. Thank you for being YOU! ❤️ 

@jeanne-mayell, thank you for opening this thread.  It's extremely helpful to see how others deal with some of these challenges.

Whenever I have given an individual Tarot or cold reading to someone (which at this point in my intuitive development are primarily friends, family or acquaintances), it’s important that my own stuff isn’t interfering in my communication with Spirit.  If I am in a wonky emotional space or very fatigued, I am unable to be fully present for others.  I shortchange that person, as well as myself.  @tesseract, like you I also have autoimmune disorders and have learned the hard way that I need to protect myself and ensure that my energy bank is full before I draw from it.  Because of my autoimmune problems and empathic sensitivities, even group energy can sometimes be very draining for me.  (Jeanne once called me a canary in a coal mine, LOL!)   I can also become depleted by people who are looking to me for the answers, a quick fix, or regularly using me as an emotional dumping ground.  The latter has even happened with a few friends and family members, where I’ve had to cut that particular cord.  My time and energy reserves are precious and I won’t allow myself to be used in that way.   I bless them and energetically remove myself from the situation.  I’m aware that such needs and behaviors often come from those unhealed parts of ourselves.  It's those times we don’t trust ourselves and are often seeking to fill old emptiness.  I’m not immune from sometimes feeling that way and acting on it.  We’re all works in progress!

I consider doing readings a sacred zone, where Spirit is in charge.  I will respond to direct questions and communicate what I see, but my primary intention is to use whatever intuitive gifts I have to help people trust and empower themselves – to help someone walk through things by energetically supporting that.  No matter what we see for someone on the horizon, ultimately free will comes into play.  There are many paths we can take to get there. 

I’m excited for Jeanne’s Become Deeply Intuitive course bc I’m a bit lazy about pushing full steam ahead w my psychic growth and need the boost, and because I lack confidence w tarot. I’m not sure why but I have a feeling I’ll find out. ;-) I’ve visited psychics for many years and have been taken advantage of monetarily only once. I was in a dark time of my life and I learned my lesson. As I grew to realize my own abilities in the last 6 yrs and receive visits from a devoted spirit guide, angels, goddesses, and ancestors, I realized “hey, I’m an empath and have known things all my life!” It really was a relief to know all I knew and heard and was guided toward and protected from is a gift not to be taken lightly. I feel truly blessed. 
   My one sad truth was to realize there are psychics who are intimidated by my strong aura. These particular psychics push back, pull back, and try to dominate me during the reading. It’s palpable and yucky. While I’m wise and savvy, I also don’t anticipate this type of attempt at intimidation. After all, I believe I’m harmless to others! But as was pointed out to me, there are some psychics who don’t appreciate and are intimidated by another strong psychic presence. I wasn’t hurt by this realization and it helps me zone in more accurately on who is friend and who is foe. All valuable life lessons.
   I’ve pulled cards for a couple of friendsbut, again, I become unsure of myself w tarot… even pulling cards for myself. So, yea, I prob should put that question out there to spirit bc I rely more readily on messages from them and also some visions. Hence, I’m super excited for the course! 
   Happy Super Bowl Sunday! My friend & fam are cracking up bc for yrs I referred to it as The Stupid Bowl and while I’m not a TS fan of her music I’m not a hater either obviously. But dang if I didn’t start watching and paying attention to the game. I am team Chiefs and we’re having a very small SB “party” tonight. Never say never! Lol 

@deetoo I have found that some people will become very dependent, almost addicted, to card readings, and I have had to gently cut them loose. Your comment about being treated as an “emotional dumping ground” also rings true. With a few exceptions, the less I know about a person and their issues or problems, the better I am able to read for them.

I do love the Tarot and find card readings to be a great tool for perspective and communication. 

Years ago my ex and I went to get a reading. He was skeptical bc he hadn’t grown up with these practices and shared nothing really in order to ‘test’ the medium. On the other hand I have seen people share their life story (maybe out of nervousness or maybe they need attn) when the mediums face is clearly like: stop talking and let me read. As the person doing the reading, you know what you need but the client doesn’t understand you don’t need the life story or emotional dump bc they haven’t experienced those gifts. If you’re in a group medium reading it’s appreciated by all to let people know please just ask the question and I’ll ask for any details necessary. 

I have done a few impromptu "readings" (I use quotes because I don't think I'm all that good), but when I was learning many, many moons ago, a couple of things stood out for me. One was that I must always give what I get whether it makes sense to me or not because the message is not for me. The other was that I must do my best never to take credit for something that "I" said. The reason for this is that I am not the source of the messages; spirit is. I always use "we" or "they": "we" when I am speaking directly *for* a person/soul or group on the other side, or "they" when I am simply relaying a message.

With regard to remembering what I've been given for people, I have never been able to remember what comes through for others even if I want to. The messages come through, I pass them on, and it's gone. That's for the best, because the information/messages are not for me.

I have a hard time using cards or crystals or anything tangible because I find it distracting. When I have done readings, it's always by mental/spirit connection, and while I am always fully aware of my surroundings, I am at the same time in a different place in my mind.

If I am asked to and/or allowed to give a description of the person/soul who is speaking, I can see them quite clearly, but for the most part whoever is speaking or presenting a message feels as though they are standing behind me speaking over my shoulder, close to my right shoulder for someone on the querent's maternal side, left for the father's side, and further out on either side or in the center for someone unrelated (especially for masters/teachers). If I am passing along information *about* a person instead of *from* someone, I am always given to know whether the person I am speaking about is in the physical or has passed on.

I am also very careful not to waste the person's time (or money if they're paying me which is rarely, if ever). I do my best to stay on message and stay focused on the session. I also do not allow myself to editorialize by injecting my opinion(s) or go off on a tangent unrelated to the person I'm working with. The session is about them, not me.

@tgraf66 From the amount of wisdom you just posted, I'd say you are probably quite a good reader. I love how you have a place for people on the maternal side, paternal side, and not related. That is quite interesting.