@barry. I love your posts on forgiveness and I have learned over a lifetime the importance of forgiving those who have caused me harm. That said, in forgiving the people who have hurt me the most, I remain mindful of the harm they have caused and do not put myself in harm’s way again. It’s really, really hard to forgive someone who shows no remorse and continues abusive behavior, but I’ve found that the act of forgiveness brings me peace and serenity. Mind you, I may have to work at forgiveness a long time and ask for help from higher powers to achieve that state, but it can be done. One method that has worked for me is to pray for blessings for those who have hurt me. Every time I would think of them and the damage they have done, I would stop that stream of thought and replace it will a prayer that they be blessed, that their lives be full and happy. The people I’ve struggled to forgive have never apologized, shown remorse or changed their dark, destructive energy. However, in the process of forgiveness, I have protected myself from further harm and set myself free from bitterness and resentment. The act of forgiving is transformative and healing to the forgiver.
@bluebelle Wow, you definitely have more grace than me, its a beautiful thing that you can pray for them to be blessed with happiness and full lives! Thank you for that, I can see the beauty of it. And the difficulty! My mind is already wrestling with actually doing it. It feels like a purification in some sense to the one doing the forgiving. I would never advocate that anyone put themselves in harm's way again, thats an important point.
@bluebelle Wow, you definitely have more grace than me, its a beautiful thing that you can pray for them to be blessed with happiness and full lives! Thank you for that, I can see the beauty of it. And the difficulty! My mind is already wrestling with actually doing it. It feels like a purification in some sense to the one doing the forgiving. I would never advocate that anyone put themselves in harm's way again, thats an important point.
Grace is hard to learn. The best way is just to give in and do it, no matter what your pride or ego or anger tells you. Then it gets easier.
@ana. You’re exactly right. You just do it. You set an intention to forgive even if you’re still struggling with the offense. By setting the intention and striving to be your higher self, you’re setting yourself free from ego, grudges, and negative thinking.
Forgiveness when one has been hurt can be a diffucult concept because of our emotional responses. When a customer defaults on a loan, the financial institution sometimes forgives the loan. It doesn't mean that not repaying is condoned, liked, or swept under the rug. It means that the company figures it would be more costly to try to continue to collect, so they write it off-let it go. Without emotion, they let the numbers speak. Forgiveness for many is for themselves-not those who were the perpetrator. I like to believe that Karma will settle the score. It lets me off the hook. I no longer carry the weight of worrying if there will be justice.
I have no clue what the other individual's purpose or life lessons are to be, therefore I figure it's not my place to judge if they've earned the right to be forgiven. If someone wrongs me, apologizes, makes ammends, sure I have a clue they deserve it.
Otherwise, I am clueless as to what their spiritual role was, so I can't sit in judgement, therefore I forgive for my own benefit so I can move on. If their predetermined role was to do something that hurts me or someone else, how do I know who the teacher & who the student were to be in the lesson? In spirit, that soul may need to learn how not to hurt others, therefore I am the teacher. Whether they learn their lesson is their responsibility. On the other hand, that soul may ordinarily never hurt a fly, so they incarnated with the mission to cause harm so they can understand guilt or some other aspect of being the perpetrator in order to aid souls trying learn how to abandon such behaviors. In that case, I'm just a tool in the lesson. They don't need my forgiveness for that.
We've all heard stories of how a single kind act sometimes changed someone else's life. Being lightworkers we accept these things happen & they happen for a reason. We look for the light & try to envelop others in it as well. It's sometimes hard not to be judgemental of those who seemingly don't see the benefit of the light. But without those who can demonstrate the flip side, the quality and quantity of lessons to be learned on this plane would be limited. How many Trumpsters are true neanderthals, and how many are spiritual teachers assuming a role to help those on the fence make their own choices? How can one differenitate the neanderthal from the spiritual teacher assuming that role for the sake of teaching others? This is why I try to stay in my own lane, worrying about my own lessons. It's why I choose to be Pollyanna-ish about most things.
@theungamer
I don't work as a diplomat, but I have been a teacher of many children from other countries, and worked with hundreds of families over the last 40 years and counting.
What I meant to convey is I am very diplomatic, most of the time.
Forgiveness when one has been hurt can be a diffucult concept because of our emotional responses. When a customer defaults on a loan, the financial institution sometimes forgives the loan. It doesn't mean that not repaying is condoned, liked, or swept under the rug. It means that the company figures it would be more costly to try to continue to collect, so they write it off-let it go. Without emotion, they let the numbers speak.
I think this is an excellent analogy.
Justice and punishment are really just socially acceptable methods for obtaining revenge. It is a method that humans have developed to try to impart order in a chaotic world by tempering the passion of individuals with the, theoretically, greater dispassion of a collective. There is nothing good or bad about it, it is exactly what we have needed up until now. However, our paradigm is shifting and we are raising our awareness towards ever greater Unity. We are beginning to understand that we are not just individual islands, fully blocked off from any other individual whom we choose not to interact with. We are actually indivisibly connected to all others. We are unique facets of an all encompassing Universal Consciousness.
As we continue on this path of awakening, society will come to realize that punishment is a self defeating path. The human body is a good metaphor to understand this. We are comprised of millions of individual cells of immense diversity. However, they all work together for the greater good of the body. When some of these cells, for example immune cells, begin behaving in damaging ways we don't demand justice. Rather, we ask for healing. That is exactly what our collective body needs; healing for the individuals causing our collective dis-ease. The greatest, most powerful medicine we as individual cells and as a social body have is Love, and, as Lightworkers, our job is to be the world's super-spreaders. ❤️
That is an enlightening and beautiful post Frank. Thank you!
I feel lifted up after reading it.
@ana. You’re exactly right. You just do it. You set an intention to forgive even if you’re still struggling with the offense. By setting the intention and striving to be your higher self, you’re setting yourself free from ego, grudges, and negative thinking.
I so agree. After a difficult divorce, I wanted to forgive in order to let go. So, in meditation and prayer, I made a statement, "I completely forgive_______." Now, I did this through gritted teeth in the beginning, but I always added, "Please, Lord, make my forgiveness real." In time, my intention became completely sincere. @bluebelle's advice is important too--to send blessings. As my forgiveness became more sincere, it became easier to send blessings. It's very liberating to one's soul.