Cross posted from 2024 U.S. Presidential Election in the hopes that we can also move discussion over here to include ways to honor MVP's statement on filling the sky with the light of a brilliant, brilliant billion of stars.
I have done a lot of reading since the first T regime ended on self improvement. While I tried books on Reiki and the like it didnt’ resonate with me yet (I feel like I’m not quite ready for it). But I did land on Stoicism and much of it resonated with me. Perhaps this is why I still feel calm about the road ahead.
My favorite book (so far) is one called Reasons not to Worry. I just finished it two weeks before the election. (Irony!). Going back into my Kindle today here are some relevant quotes I pulled out.
“The Stoics also articulated the mood that we shoudl asipre to as our default setting - ataraxia (literally, ‘without disturbance’) - a carefully calibrated state of tranquility that is not happiness, or joy… …ataraxia is a state of contentment or peace where the world can be falling in around your ears but your equilibrium is undisturbed.”
“We only have ourselves and each other - and flawed as we all are, that is enough.”
“The ancient Stoics believed you should work hard and take pride in what you do, but that work is only one part of life.”
“The Stoics were not ones to just sit on their hands and say, ‘Oh well, no point in trying because it’s out of my control.’ instead you should do everything to the best of your abiility (which is actually somethign you do have control over) but realize you cannot control the outcome of everything. As a result, your energy is put into doing the best you can do, and not in fretting about whether the outcome is successful.”
“The Stoics classified a range of thing sincluding wealth, health, and reputation as a ‘preferred indifferent’ — meaning it’s preferable to have them but you shoudl essenitally be indifferent as to whether you’ve got them or not. That means not clinging to things or falling apart if you lose them. Instead, your character is the most important thing. ARe you behaving well or badly? Are youc ultifvating the things that the Stoics called ‘the virtues’: justice, moderation, wisdom and courage? Are you relaxed? Is your inner self tranquil? Do you treat others well? Are you able to control your anger? These things wer emore important than the accumulation of repuation and capital. They are even more important than your health.”
All of these quotes I had highlighted stood out to me today in the wake of this past week and while I’m a work in progress, the last paragraph I quoted in particular is one everyone should read and consider today, tomorrow, over the weekend, into next week, through the holidays, and into the new administration.
As Harris herself put it yesterday: “There's an adage a historian once called a law of history, true of every society across the ages. The adage is, only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. I know many people feel like we are entering a dark time, but for the benefit of us all, I hope that is not the case. But here's the thing, America, if it is, let us fill the sky with the light of a brilliant, brilliant billion of stars. The light, the light of optimism, of faith, of truth and service.
And may that work guide us even in the face of setbacks toward the extraordinary promise of the United States of America. I thank you all. Make God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America. I thank you all. “
Again, let's use THIS thread to talk about ways we can continue to be the light. We've comiserated in the election thread about our fears, let's illuminate our HOPES here.
I will start. I still don't feel comfortable going door to door during an election season because of wehre I live and who I live near. But I can continue to shine the light of compassion in the interactions I still choose to have. When I think of people who stood up to injustices in the past, it can be very hard to pile drive someone who speaks from a place of concern and empathy. As more turn from T going forward - and trust me, this WILL happen, they'll instinctively start to look for the helpers as Mr. Rogers put it. I plan on buying a red sweater that I wear frequently - both to solidify the metaphor and remind myself that there are very good reasons why some of the people I met on this journey feel we needed Trump. I'm more evolved than they are, but just as I've never given up on a student during my time in education, T's ilk can throw whatever they want at me and my resolve will remain firm.
If I see people targeting my LGBTQ+ friends, I can choose whether I stand up for them or not. I plan to stand up for them.
If I see people targeting my minority friends, I can choose whether I stand up for them or not. I plan to stand up for them.
If I see people spouting hateful rhetoric, I can choose whether I point out the harmful, hurtful things they're saying. I plan to point it out.
If I see people using religion to tear people down, I can help build them back up.
At the end of the day, what's in my control? (going back to my stoics post above). How I act, how I treat others, and how I live a life of empathy and compassion. I won't walk that path alone even though it may feel like it sometimes. Light finds light.
Find light.
How will you find the light?
@dannyboy I? Have been a stoic all of my life it seems.... enduring through so many variations of "hell on earth" that taught me what and how I do NOT want to be.
Yesterday? I went out to buy groceries. I practiced kindness to all I came in contact with. Helped someone find what they needed on the aisle when they couldn't see it, helped a man riding in one of the mobility shopping carts unload his goods and looked deep in his eyes and smiled and told him to have a blessed day... his thoughts shone out "It feels good to be truly seen" I had let a young man with just two items get in front of me and my buggy full ( I shop once a month) I thanked cashiers for their help and wished them a great day. I put my buggy back.... in other words? I practiced being a good person and doing what I could do in the little things. I can not change anyone... I can only change me. I can choose to act ... rather than react. I can choose to love... even when love is lacking . That? Is my way forward.
@dannyboy Your post really hits home for me. These past 8 years, just for reference, have been filled with so much. Moving to a new state, husband having 2 blood cancers and 1 bone marrow transplant, Covid, the orange one's presidency, death of husband and 6 weeks later death of youngest child by suicide. I am stoic, I am strong, I am still standing, I am resilient, I will be okay. I do not wear rose colored glasses or have a Pollyanna attitude, I just have come to know who I am. I feel sorry for those who think the orange one is the answer, we shall see how this all plays out. Yes, I am stoic and strong, and will continue to care about those who need it the most. Hug your loved ones.
I practiced being a good person and doing what I could do in the little things. I can not change anyone... I can only change me. I can choose to act ... rather than react. I can choose to love... even when love is lacking . That? Is my way forward.
It sounds as though your character is primed already to shine lights This is exactly how it goes.
I am resilient, I will be okay. I do not wear rose colored glasses or have a Pollyanna attitude, I just have come to know who I am. I feel sorry for those who think the orange one is the answer, we shall see how this all plays out. Yes, I am stoic and strong.
If stoicism is resonating with you, I highly recommend further reading on it. The book I referenced above is very easy to dive into. But this part of your post in particular resonates with me because I've had a few people accuse me of having those same glasses on. I'm not hiding my head in the sand by avoiding news and trying to be kind - I'm very much aware of what's happening around me - but - how we respond to it all is within our control. The events themselves, not quite as much.
You most certainly ARE strong and stoic! Thank you for sharing that light!
Thanks for this thread, as I feel that the focus needs to be on the path forward and will be more so of the PTSD of the election wears off.
I would like to see the path forward recognized in the periodic predictions, not only in terms of the positive that should guide us, but also the negative that can make us aware of the obstacles (i.e. what should be expect to encounter in the pending darkness).
I also try to be a good person by shining light on people I sense are troubled, even a simple smile and “have a good day.” The bright eyes and smiles in return tell me it’s appreciated.
I’ve been very generous, esp this past yr, w GoFundMe requests. But I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going to save anymore Magas from themselves but will be very discretionary w my donations. And, honestly, w the changes ahead, I need first to take care of myself, and my sons, if needed.
Let Magas knock on their leader’s door for what they believe he’ll provide. They’ll learn of their errors soon enough.
I’m from a huge family—28 1st cousins on one side alone. The majority are undereducated and small-minded, having never left our small town heavily Republican mindset. They can help each other.
Yesterday, I was calm. Today, some anger is rising up. I don’t enjoy seeing people suffer but I have no more tears for people who can’t save themselves yet pretend to be autonomous.
I imagine my feelings and perspectives will shift over time but this is where I’m at now. And I won’t apologize for sequestering for awhile and taking care of my broken heart first. Bc if more people tended to their own shit and shadows first, we wouldn’t be in such a sorry state. And as we cannot force change in people’s hearts and minds, I will focus on assisting those people who are don’t hold or hide so much hate and fear in theirs.
I’ve been very generous, esp this past yr, w GoFundMe requests. But I’m not doing it anymore. I’m not going to save anymore Magas from themselves but will be very discretionary w my donations. And, honestly, w the changes ahead, I need first to take care of myself, and my sons, if needed.
In my SEL work I have to remind teachers and administrators to put their own oxygen mask on first and it sounds a lot like what you're talking about here. What a great realization. Sequester yourself as long as you need to. Mend your broken heart. Secure your oxygen mask and take all the time you need to do so. This is part of the human experience.
When it comes to a simple smile and a "have a nice day" - high performing schools have all staff from the bus drivers to the lunch aides to the teachers to the administrators out in the halls before and after school, welcoming every student as they enter. Teachers welcome students every hour as students walk into their classrooms. Soemtimes this is the only positive interaction kids have in the course of a day. And the same may very much be true for the adults you pass that smile and simple acknowledgement on to.