I hope and pray we all survive the coming disasters. I have been trying to bring positivity into my life and fight off the negativity. I like to read the positive predictions to give hope to mine and the worlds futures. Then the dark ones bring me fear cause so many lives are at risk.
Laynara, I feel the dark and the light at different times. It seems to alternate in waves these days. If I sit quietly and give myself some space, then I get this knowing that we are all going to be okay. Laynara, you are going to be okay. Tonight I feel so much hope for our world, and also for you. And for our community of light workers.
Thank you Jeanne you are such a kind soul. I hope some day soon I can join one of your classes! ?
Laynara, Come January 22 to Read the future night. It will be free, just hoping for donations. Then there is a whole series of classes after that that will be wonderful! If you can swing it, it begins with Tarot classes January 29th. If not, stick with this community. The people here are so beautiful.
P.S. As for your fears, I feel that you and your loved ones are protected.
I will definitely look into it! This community is quite amazing and has changed my life for the better. Thank you all ❤️
Feeling very depressed and pessimistic days, about everything from the fate of humankind on earth all the way down to my family... I've had to stop doing active resistance work because of the politics in each and every group bringing me down. It got to a point where I was being treated like a wayward employee rather than someone trying to actively help. So I backed off... My daughter, who has had "issues" for a long time, is home from first semester of college, having completely flunked out (GPA is 0.0). My husband and I will giver her one semester to turn it around... In the meantime having her here creates chaos. She's mentally ill and excels at splitting and triangulating. It strains our marriage to the breaking point. I regret becoming a mother at all and am not looking forward to being a grandmother in future - not because of age, but because the mental illnesses are genetically predisposed, and even though it "skipped" me, I've been surrounded by mentally ill (and very toxic) people my entire life. I'm exhausted. Not that any of this matters if we all die in a thermonuclear conflagration...
Laura, I think most mothers of freshmen daughters feel like you do, regardless of an official diagnosis of mental illness. I've been receiving texts all night from a young woman who sounds similar to your description of your daughter. A year ago she also took home failing grades across all of her classes, too. Her mother made her get a job. She got one in a nursing home and is loving it. She now wants to become a massage therapist. I've known of many young people who earn 0.0 GPAs and explored programs, like Outward Bound, or service projects instead. Might focus that fury on creative destination planning ... wishing you the best.
Laura, I am saddened to hear this. You are having one of "those" days where family dysfunction (combined with external worldly dysfunction) just drains and crushes your spirit, eats away at your soul. It might help to just cry it all out, in a nice warm salt bath. Maybe you need a few days alone, to escape all this bad energy and just recharge. With me, solitude and retreat give me back my positive energy. I need alone time after high stress periods or I will go bust. As for your daughter I was the same way my freshman year. I wanted out of college, I felt so isolated and so alone there, even in a auditorium full of college students, and even with a few friends (that I felt didn't really know me). But going to work for a few years did miracles in motivating me into going back to college and getting that degree (low pay tends to do that). Maybe your daughter just simply isn't ready or she's not feeling well enough. It must be so much harder with mental illness, it might be overwhelming her. But she will find her way, even if her way is all about learning the hard way. None of this is your fault, and never will be, perhaps you feel guilt that you shouldn't have to feel. My ex-husband has schizophrenia, for years I felt guilt for having to walk away, but he refused medication at the time and I could no longer help him. You have your path to follow, and your daughter has hers. Sending big spiritual hugs and positive thoughts to you, and your daughter.
Thanks for the support, you all are lovely and it always helps to know others are "out there".
I do find walking my dog ~by myself~ in nature helps alot.
I get massages when possible, but I'm not a bath soak kinda gal. #SelfCare
I agree she's not ready for college, but she refuses to consider other options...
And at this moment I am typing this from a local hospital ER. My daughter had been complaining of "back pain" for a few days, I kept asking her to go to the doctor, and thanks to her oppositionality, she kept refusing. Yesterday she woke up looking awful and said "Take me to the urgent care." So I did. And now we know she let things go so far that she is septic - she has a kidney infection that has spread through her blood and is attacking her heart. So here we sit, worried and watching as she gets pumped full of 3 different antibiotics and gallons of saline. How did this happen? Again, oppositionality. We live in a warm, dry climate (sorry Cyclone Bomb victims). When encouraged to drink water she rolls her eyes and walks away. So no wonder. It's saddening to see the mental issues cause such a physical catastrophe, but rest assured I feel no guilt on this one. And thanks to our local flu epidemic, there are no beds to move her to, so I'm just sitting in a chair all night til hubby returns for morning shift.
So today's Moral of the Day is: DRINK WATER!! Whether it's 75 or 0 degrees!!!
Big hugs back to all of you - thanks again.
Laura, i'm so sorry to hear that! I'm sending you and your daughter love and prayers. The help for mental health issues is lousy and the stigma around it doesn't help at all. My son has adhd and is super defiant at times, by the time I go to bed (which can be early because I'm exhausted) he is often still high energy. He is still just a child but after we moved he was so heartbroken, he descended into violence, running away, trying to hurt me with a bunk bed ladder... you name it. He has settled now and is happy and things go well but I'm still exhausted from it. I too come from a family with lots of mental health issues and my mental health and energy levels have been in the gutter last year. I found out that my sons has a mthfr gene mutation, he doesn't have an enzyme that turns folate into methylfolate, thus low folate levels, thus many many health problems. I bought some cheaply over the counter and, boy, I am a different human being. I know now i can make it. the depression is gone, i feel healthy... they suspect that up to 30% of the population have this gene mutation and now I believe that a lot of health issues that run in families are linked to it. Anyways... I leave that here for you in case you want to research it.
I understand your worry about your daughter that's bordering on resignation. She must make these choices for herself, there is nothing you can do for her other than what you are already doing, loving her, reminding her to take care of her health, etc. But make yourself first priority. Find out all the things that make you feel good and "selfishly" go for them #RadicalSelfCare Cut the toxic people out of your life unapologetically. You have so much to give, Laura. guard yourself well.
Love and healing to you and your girl ❤️