@jeanne-mayell @lovendures Unreal to see the fires around LA. Safety and protection for all in the path.
These CA fires are very hard to witness. It breaks my heart. In these situations we’re reminded how we’re all connected.
I’ve been lighting candles and praying for everyone and all living creatures in the path of these fires. May you all be protected and safe. Thinking especially of those of you in our community and your loved ones who have been affected. Please let us know how you are doing.
God bless the firefighters. I can’t even imagine the monumental job they are facing. May the hand of Spirit give them continued strength, guidance and protection.
I have been out of the loop for a few days. What a terrible turn of events! Praying for all affected and all of us who bear witness.
I am respectfully requesting help and for my BF, David. He is spiraling down into a deep depression and is not keen on accepting help. The depression manifests as sleeping 18 hours per day and snappish, mean angry behavior, for the most part. Then sometimes he cries uncontrollably. (there are serious reasons he went into depression - I get it but this can't go on.)
I got him to tag along with me to my therapist today and she was quite disturbed at his attitude. She thinks he is close to having some kind of breakdown. I called NAMI for advice but they do not answer or return calls. I left the house we shared a few days ago because he scares me. (No physical abuse, just a lot of mental torture (thank the deities for alcohol and Xanax otherwise I would not be able to function at all), I will try to get him back to my therapist ASAP if he will go. She is a gifted holistic healer as well as a therapist. I don't want D to be carted off to the looney bin but I am afraid that could happen if he will not get help. I am a strong person, and very concerned but this is beyond my skills. Please help!
May @andy and Andrew @the-happy-medium and their homes be surrounded with protection from the fires. May all the families who are being threatened and devastated by these fires be sent helpers to address their needs. May the children be flooded with peace, comfort, and their fears relieved.
@ana You are in a most tender and difficult situation. May you be strengthened and calmed as you experience this with David. May you both be led to helpers who know what to do. May David's mind be held in the hands of angels who bring healing and peace.
Blessings and love. ❤️
Like you, I am concerned about David.
There are worse things than the loony bin, aka inpatient treatment, and it could get him started on medications that could help until therapy and life changes offer more.
I don't know where you live and resources vary widely in different locales plus one's health insurance can determine both the scope and quality of help to be had. Cognitive therapy and ACT therapy can be helpful in countering and creating distance from negative thoughts, https://www.verywellmind.com/acceptance-commitment-therapy-gad-1393175 but I wouldn't expect David to read a book right now and have his mood "fixed," just suggestions for the future.
Your therapist sounds lovely and competent but does she have training and credentials (ability to prescribe) to handle his issues? Hopefully, if she can't provide it, she might be able to suggest other potential sources of help. There are new treatments for extreme and persistent depression (ex. Ketamine and Esketamine) but they are used either in an emergency for suicidal ideation or after traditional ones have proved to be inadequate. (Also requires specialists to administer it.)
As an interim step, see if you can encourage him to get any physical activity. As you may have read, exercise increases both endorphins and dopamine in the brain which offer temporary feel-better periods that could allow him to consider options. Follow it up with a cup of green tea to reduce inflammation and then take care of yourself. Watching someone spiral downward is painful in the extreme and as much as you might wish it, you can't fully or perhaps even partly control this situation.
In the meantime, sending buckets of support for you both...
@ana, taking him to your therapist was a good start. But he should get in front of a competent licensed trained mental health professional who will treat him. No one here, including me, can substitute for that.
I agree with @raincloud, that inpatient treatment is not the worst thing right now. Assuming your therapist is a licensed mental health professional, I'd ask her, since she's seen him, if that's a good course of action. She is closest to this situation, although he is not her client, and she may hesitate taking him on since you are her client and that could interfere with her treatment of you.
Important question: ask him if he is in danger of doing himself (or you) harm? If either answer is "maybe" or "yes", then consider the inpatient option. It would likely just be a standard ten days for keeping a patient safe, diagnosing and treating, and getting them back on their feet. It's not a long-term solution though. Your therapist may know the best place to go for a brief stay where they can observe, diagnose and treat.
Maybe once he gets some immediate professional treatment, regular exercise, therapy, and a new habits may help him maintain better mental health going forward. This episode in your lives could be the wake-up call for a new beginning. But please get him professional help.