[Sticky] Request or give emotional support

@seaholly 

I am still not feeling normal  but I am having to power through it, busy time at work. This is kicking my butt.

A lot of digestive issues. Feeling under the weather. Allergic to caffeine, please send spiritual version. I am beat but it's better than shingles from what I hear.

This is a bit of a vent. I am not sure what to think about my future anymore.

I haven't been around much lately because I haven't been feeling positive about things. I am useless when I am in a negative spiral like this, and I just think it's better for me to stay away when I am in this mindset.

But lately, the situation in the UK is increasingly putting my future at risk in regards to my health.

The state of the NHS is such that some people are waiting years for scans and treatments.

I keep saying it because it's true. The way the Conservatives have ideologically run down the NHS has made this personal to me and political.

I would like nothing better than for them to be kicked out of government so that the NHS can be fixed.

I spoke on the the phone with my consultant recently, and he wants to do another scan to look at my CSF leak, but he doesn't know how long the wait will be because there is a giant backlog of people waiting for scans. I can't go elsewhere because it requires their expertise.

So, when I look at the UK general election and I see Labour ahead on the polls, I am actually quite pessimistic that they will hold that lead and win, because in every general election before, over the last 14 years, when Labour were ahead, they lost.

Please forgive my pessimism, but it's based on recurring negative experiences over the past 14 years. I don't know any different. Negative after negative experiences, with maybe one or two positive ones here and there.

My future feels like it hangs in the balance. If the Conservatives win another 5 years, then there is little chance the NHS problems will go away anytime soon, which means more delays, more suffering, and more years of my life lost to this health condition.

I can't take painkillers or opiates to relieve my pain because of my other health conditions; it's not an option. I can't have nerve block injections because they don't work for CSF leaks. The pain and suffering stop when you treat the leak and seal the dura in the spine. You cannot just take a magic pill and fix this (although that would be nice).

I don't know why I'm here. Maybe I feel like I can talk to you all because the suffering we all endure as part of the human experience is better understood by like-minded spiritual people. I don't know.

It's more than just my CSF leak; the whole situation has a knock-on effect on other areas of my health and body. I am just existing and not living, and it has been like this for far too long. It's not a choice to live like this. I spend most of my days in my bedroom to manage my symptoms because they are positional. I don't really have good days where this doesn't happen.

When I see people such as those I know in my family contemplating voting Conservative, a little part of me dies inside every time I hear it. I often ask myself, how can anybody be this ignorant and selfish? How can you look at the state of things in the UK and think it is a good idea to vote more for the same? It's like they live in a bubble of not seeing or caring that there are people suffering from the policies of the Conservatives.

I feel drained, and I just don't know where to find the energy or enthusiasm to deal with things right now.

@luminous You have good reason to feel drained, downhearted and upset. You chose to bring your painful feelings to this healing community, and we are here for you.

I am sending prayers and healing energy for an assessment of your CSF leak to occur SOON, with stabilization and treatment to follow; deep and lasting pain relief, and a lifting of your spirits so that you return to your LUMINOUS self. 

May the upcoming UK election bring about the needed solutions for the people, the highest good for all.

Peace and love to you. Please keep us all posted. ❤️

@lowtide thank you. 🙏

@luminous 

I'm very sorry that you have to go through this. Being ill is hard enough. Not having access to Healthcare in unfathomable. 

I will send you as much positive energy as I can. I am glad you posted.

@luminous.  I have days where I am in a similar situation with fatigue and aches.  I know how draining it can be. It's a joy thief, and people who have not experienced extended waits for care can't seem to grasp how gruelling it is or are just callous.  

It's often a similar situation in the states and in some cases more expensive.  I will say prayers that people have enough good sense to vote for fixing the health care systems.  I will also pray that a cancellation occurs from someone who may need the specialist less or that they find another option so you can get bumped up to have what you need done.

I hope you get rest.

@ghandigirl and @anya thank you. 🙏

It is heart breaking so many of us have no access to the health are we need. Chronic diseases are prevalent these days due to environmental factors as well as modern day stressors. Prayers for Highest Good for all concerned.🙏🏻💜🪽🙌🪽💜🙏🏻

@luminous 

My heart aches for you. I wish that I knew the UK system better. Is the only end-run private care?

@raincloud
Currently, we have a single-payer healthcare system that is universal and funded by taxes. But over the past 14 years, the Conservatives have sold off local community hospitals, cut the number of hospital beds, and cut its annual funding (particularly from 2010–15). This was all done when we were dealing with a growing elderly population and the general expansion of our population from legal migration. Basically, the Conservatives failed to keep up with the pressures and demands of the healthcare system and directly exacerbated the problem with the actions I described above. So 14 years later, the NHS is now in desperate need of more hospitals, more beds, more money, and more staff to meet demand.
 
It was an ideological decision to not support the NHS properly when these pressures were well known. It was an ideological decision to close local community hospitals and cut beds. 
 
The conservatives have never believed in the NHS. They see it as a drain and an inconvenience. They want a US style healthcare system. 
 
Private healthcare is also available in the UK, but it's only available to those who can afford to pay the full cost of their treatment upfront or through insurance. Most insurance companies do not cover you for pre-existing conditions, and this is why it is not accessible for most people. If you are super wealthy, you would benefit from this, sure, and avoid the NHS, but most people can't, so they have no option.
 
Even if I could afford to go the private route, I can't because nobody in the private sector wants to treat me because of my other health conditions. I am too high-risk.
 
The end goal for the Conservatives (I think) is to break the NHS, then slowly asset strip it by selling it off piece by piece to private healthcare companies, and then charge people for it like in the US.
 
In the meantime, in this situation, people are not getting the treatment and help they need in a timely manner. So people are suffering and dying, which could have been totally avoided. I know from my own journey with my health problems during the past 15 years (14 years under Conservative governments) that my suffering has been prolonged due to the way the Conservatives have run the NHS. I have lost years of my life due to delays in getting treatment because I had to wait 18 months or more for a referral somewhere, 9 months for a scan, and 6 months for the results of an MRI. When you are dealing with something as elusive as a CSF leak, finding it with the right scan can take many tries. So when you have had a lot of scans trying to locate the leak and there have been long waits, delays, and cock-ups in the reports or the way they were done, this unfortunately does amount to many years that have gone by over time.

@luminous 

You provided a clear, if grim, report on the NHS. I am so sorry that you and many others are suffering due to the greed of a few.

I think I am at the point where I need to ask for some support.   I haven't posted much in the last year and a half--- it has been a tumultuous time for me personally and I don't know quite how to explain it all.  But so as not to bore you good people with details, here are some bullet points on the events that have happened to me since mid-2022:

1) Received an unexpected inheritance (nothing to celebrate b/c it was from my brother who died suddenly and too young.  But it did open up doors. )

2) While out of town, met up with an old boyfriend from 1982-1983.  We had always had tremendous chemistry and it was still there.  My 26-year marriage had been deteriorating for years despite my efforts to get H to wake the F up. 

3) Ended up moving out of my beloved Victorian era house (which I had spent over 30 years restoring.)

4) Bought a nearby small house.   Former ex-BF moved across the country to live with me in it. 

Intermission: Yes, I know this all sounds insane.  But there were so many coincidences and weird things-- it just sort of happened like it was meant to and was almost unavoidable.  

5) August 2023- retired from my job of 35 years. (I was burnt out.  This is a good thing.)

6) Oct 2023--My 96 year old mother fell and ended up in a rehab center for two months so I spend a lot of time and energy with that.

7) Mom moved into an assisted living apartment which was 1/3 the size of her former apartment in a senior living complex. (the largest assisted living apt they had!) This required much downsizing of stuff.  Some of this was 19th century family stuff.  Not only was it logistically difficult, it has been emotionally fraught and the job still isn't done. 

8) Former ex-BF is having emotional problems (depression, anxiety, panic attacks), plus he wiped out on his bike and wrecked his knee and apparently is allergic to all the lovely year-round pollen we have here. We are still good together but his emotional chaos is contagious.  I can wall it off to some extent but that doesn't feel right.  I am an INFP; we are wired to help people.

I miss my old house.  We are very attached to one another.  I miss seeing my 23 year old son as much as I would like (he won't meet former ex-BF and I get that, but it is still a problem bc we can't get people together.)  BF's emotional chaos bleeds over onto me and I feel it as if it were mine.   To be fair, he has been very supportive of me and my issues as well.   Husband still lives in the house (which is still half mine) and we are cordial. I don't want to go back to him.  I want to scream much of the time.   

I am pretty good at thinking things through and solving problems,  but my strength to do so is wearing very thin.  Plus I cannot possibly control everything.    I need a boost.   So does the BF (David). 

So if anyone can help me with this mess, I would be most grateful.  

Sorry to be so verbose.

@ana  You have a lot going on, and you are very brave.

I can sympathize to a certain extent since I too have not posted much lately, and I can understand what it's like to be in the eye of a storm and not see a way to improve things. I'm not sure if what I'm about to suggest will be helpful to you, but when I feel like I don't know what to do to make my circumstances better, I do two things.

The first is walking, preferably in nature, but any walking will do. Try a half hour a day. Sometimes moving forward physically makes one feel better, even as you don't quite know how to move forward in other ways.

The second thing I do is a techique popularized by The Sedona Method. It's been around for about 40 years but I discovered it about 10 years ago. It's a technique that shows you how to "release" things that are bothering you. Amazon sells books about Sedona and none are expensive. You can also Google or Wikipedia it. You ask yourself a set of questions and after repeating the set several times, the anguish surrounding the particular thing you're tackling diminishes. Sometimes you forget it altogether, even if for a short period of time. I often use it to help me fall asleep when my mind won't stop racing. It's hard do describe but if you end up doing it let me know. I know it has helped me.

You'll be in my thoughts during this trying time for you, and I know our beautiful community wishes you well.

The Sedona Method:

https://www.sedona.com/home.asp

@lynn

I don't know if my thoughts are exactly racing.

 I am simply frustrated that I know I used to be sharp and now the brain fog combined with fatigue and other things make it frustrating and it becomes incredibly annoying when people act as if I am stupid, when it's simply my body trying to heal from a virus and other things and the damage it caused.

 At this point I need a jackpot win to pay some bills and reinstate a better balance of power.  I don't think it will be fully balanced until my body mends a bit, and money does not buy happiness, but it does buy a vacation and good health insurance and comfort.  Clearly it can also buy Supreme Court Justices, so there's that.

My husband lost his job today, we are 65 years old, and it will be tough for him to get another supervisor's job. Please pray for us. He pretty much was aged out. I love this forum and I thank you.

I hope he finds a new job. It's so hard when you hit 50 even. I don't go to church, but if you do, go there and ask for help.

@averylegacy Sigh. I am truly sorry your husband finds himself in this situation. A few years ago my husband left a job as a controller at 65, and DID find another position as a controller. Don't give up hope.

@averylegacy  If he believes it was because of age, consider contacting the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Unless he had a position with mandatory retirement, firing someone at age 65 isn't a good look for any employer.

The process takes time but it might lead to a settlement. Also, the EEOC doesn't charge to file a complaint.

Or just contact them and get information. It can't hurt. 

https://www.eeoc.gov/filing-charge-discrimination

@lynn @billymike    Thank you.  I will look into the Sedona method