Yesterday.. I lost a friend.. of many years ago.. at time when we both lived in a very very small town that we both moved to after we married. We ..weren't from around there...a rural area..where neighbors depend on themselves.... over Trump.... she is "proudly voted for Trump and will proudly do so again" and said other more hurtful things. I moved away from that town when my son was 6 when his father and I divorced. Our daughters went to school together...we sat at each others tables and ate each others food and shared each others lives. They graduated together...she helped me through a very nasty divorce and a very painful hurtful time before it. I helped her through many crises of her own. We were like sisters. I had to move away from a home I had built/put down very deep roots to. My children were greatly affected by the entire situations we found ourselves in that even today... have ramifications and painful memories. She and I ..stayed in touch as we could in the past 26 years... but once Trump won and became president.... she began to change... to someone .. I .. did ..not....know. All of our communications became about Trump and why I should support him... that I needed to listen and learn...she has been all over the world and seen much and she sees what Trump is doing to save this country. She sent me a video "by accident" with a pious story of Impotus mother coming to this country and mixed with some evangelical bs.... saying watch this it gives me chills...I replied Yes it gave me chills for the wrong reason and I sent a Lincoln Project one back...she then blasted me back and said.. it was sent to you in error.. I know how you feel.. you should have not replied but no.... you are too argumentative and arrogant and just had to say something. Anyways to make a long story short.. I told her nothing..politics or otherwise..will change the love I have for her that lives in my heart..and that I pray daily for her continued well being as well as the family. I was advised in so many words my prayers are not needed that she has friends who are very conservative like she is and prayers aplenty and a very personal connection to her Father. I see that the road we once walked together forked..and we both went down different ones. I will always love her and be thankful for our presence in each others lives.....and understand... we have grown too far apart in this lifetime...we will have to see each other on the Other Side to reconnect to the peace and love we once knew with each other as I can no longer let that Trump hate in my life.
I am sad... it hurts.
My heart truly aches for this loss that is shared now across our nation.
Over and over i have heard similar stories, similar pain, and what may be life long missings for once deeply dear friends or even family members.
Even when you have both tried to explain your side, reason with their side, we are sides devided, political parties divided and sadly a nation so divided that its going to take perhaps even decades to undo the damage we each have created, each have any idea how to balance such huge differences and put them aside and still have some semblance of a relationship.
It's all so terribly, terribly sad and my heart goes out to all of you so affected. I have not hit this impass with friends simply because we are all separted by time and space of covid now and we all chose to not discuss politics or even frankly the coronavirus at all. We are each living separate lives without the shared events we once participated in.
All I can suggest to those i know who are currently going through this in their families or friendships is keep contact if you need it but don't go deeply into anything that's a trigger. And it sounds like you have tried.
With some of us, every single topic is a trigger if we are very sensitive or very defensive. And almost all of us are.
I'm sending you huge waves of understanding of your loss, empathy at your deep sadness and gratitude for sharing such a personal story.
?????
I can only imagine. You've lost so much in your life and work and try so very hard to do your best for everyone!
You are an amazing woman. Don't give up though things may get much much worse in the years ahead in many respects, that others may at least realize how much we all need friendship, sharing and healing in our personal relationships.
I believe healing in relationships often take a lot of transformation in all of us before true healing can occur in each of us.
Something like a shared loss of someone or even something between you may create openings. But for that to even begin to create the opening into healing your friendship would need to morph into a balance point of boundaries/topics/not blaming anyone or anything for anything that is.
It has to start at some point between individuals before it can move to a bigger scale that our world may eventually depend on.
Even just an occasional thinking of you note or card would be a start, bit by bit over times ahead ?
Sending very best thoughts, prayers in all forms and light into the fractures of relationship for you and others and everyone hurting and missing and so deeply sad now.
Remember you're not alone, not without friends. We are all here for you. Really and truly!
@michele-b Thank you so much.. I think I'll go take a shower ..aka have a good cry.. and.. pick up the pieces and move on.. I do.. have a lot of experience at that *sigh*
@journeywithme2 I too have had to cut 2 family members loose. Yes it bothers me but I also think if it as self care. I can no longer allow toxic people in my life, even if I love them. Hopefully one day things can change but if not then I feel that’s how it was meant to be. I’m sending you a big hug wrapped in lots of love. Soothe your heart dear one. Peace ☮️
Ugh! The experience is the hardest part. Crying in the shower is both releasing and cleansing on the other hand! Love to you from all the angelic helpers and nature deities around you ???
Hahaha. Perfect comment and so much more succinct and to my point then I was in what...3 replies? ?