I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends, that's awful.
I'm even more sorry that your "friend" went so far over the line. Unfortunately, they are suffering from a form of mass delusion. Almost mass hypnosis.
The next time that happens, whether with this person or someone else, rather than try to engage them in dialogue, I'd just shut it down if I was you. Kind of like what @Deetoo suggests. Only I'm from NYC, so I would probably not be as kind. It's become clear over time that trying to dialogue with Trumplodytes, especially evangelical ones, doesn't make anyone budge on either side (proven by research, btw). In general, religious extremism is long known for poisoning human relations, that's not going to change now.
Here is an example of what I would text in this situation:
"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts. It appears we have reached opposite sides of a chasm which at this point in time cannot be breached. I love you, however if you do not refrain from trying to engage me in discussions of this sort I will have to block your communications. We are all in the same boat, however you and I are no longer on the same page from a moral perspective. I wish you all the best, be safe and well. Goodbye."
Hang in there Tricia, I know CT is getting hit hard, an old college friend in Greenwich just lost his sweet 87 year old father in law to COVID.
...
What is weird to me is this is the second person in my life who did this to me recently. My husband's cousin on my birthday did the same thing. So I'm starting to think that I am supposed to learn something here. The Universe may want me to change my thinking and how I respond. I must meditate on it and listen to what my guides are trying to tell me perhaps.
Thank you again Dee! ? ? ? ?
I definitely think you are on to something here. ?
Btw, I am so sorry to hear about your friends. Sending virtual hugs. ❤️
Thank you Laura! funny thing is I'm from NY originally too, southern Westchester county right near Greenwich! I started supporting the exec I do (at my company) now 6 yrs ago and he's in N. Carolina - a real "southern gentleman". I had to "check my NY side" of myself a bit because he had me realize that part of me might not be appreciated while supporting such a southerner. He's a really nice man and he is happily not a GOP supporter. He teases me about the way I say "water" or "director" with my NY accent.
NY is going through the peak now and my heart goes out to everyone in the city especially. I also heard of two other co workers who have the virus but are thankfully ok.
I'm sorry about your friend's father in law. I think CT is at it's peak now and they told us not to even go to the grocery store or pharmacy for this week. So we stocked up on frozen food over a week ago to last us through Easter.
I think everyone will be affected, whether it's immediate or friends or even family. This is not something any of us have dealt with in our lifetime. We are all a bit on edge I think, so I'm thinking I've got to be stronger in one way, and perhaps more forgiving in another.
The one thing I can always count on is loving honesty from you and I love how direct you are. I truly appreciate that. ?
I lived south of the Mason-Dixon line for 15 years (and have family in TN and OK). I was mostly trained out of my Bronx accent (AC-Ting!!!), but enough traces remained that people would peg me as Northeastern, but they couldn't nail down where unless they were also originally from metro NY. When I was working in health care, every year we'd have a performance review. Every year I'd get the same feedback: "The patients and their families love you, but your coworkers say that you are condescending and yell at them." I never yelled at anyone, never cursed at anyone, never called anyone a name. OK, I did (and still do) have a significant eyerolling problem, but I learned to put that in check as best I could. And I always talked fast, still do. The struggle is real. It was a relief to move to San Diego, where talking fast and eyerolling are celebrated in TWO languages.
So southern Westchester near Greenwich... Larchmont? Bronxville? New Rochelle? Mamaroneck? LOL - I still have family I don't talk to in Eastchester and we lived in Croton for a year in the 90s. I spent huge chunks of my life in Westchester County for work and leisure. And more family I'm just not in touch with from Shelton to New Haven.
So thank YOU for appreciating my kind bluntness ?
Be safe, be well, hang in there.
So saddened to hear of the loss of your friends :-( I have been challenged during this time period to set and honor my boundaries. A best friend of over 30 years attacked me viciously on a Facebook post over Trump and when I refused to agree with her point of view ... she called me some pretty awful names... and...attacked my character.. in a public forum. She was very surprised when others called her out on it. I am Southern born and bred... a true native Atlantan! Women were raised to not be rude/outspoken in public..."God don't like ugly" "Bless your heart" It has taken me all of these 60 something years to finally speak my Truth, quietly and firmly and draw boundaries and limit interactions if boundaries are not respected. It still hurts my heart that someone I love could be so hurtful.. over the Orange Foolius !!!!! Perhaps... speaking our Truth ... quietly, firmly and with love... is a healing as is the refusal to tolerate harmful interactions anymore. I pray for our world, our people in general and individuals by name each time I wash my hands. Sending you much Light and Love as a Healing Balm to apply to the wounds in your heart from these encounters. <3
@laura-f, that's a funny story. I've noticed that sometimes when you're direct/forceful, some people think you're yelling or mean. People used to tell me that New Yorkers were rude until I finally visited. I used to frequently visit the city to see a friend. Felt quite comfortable there. I never experienced the people as rude -- just a lot of fast talkers!
I have a significant eye-rolling problem too. (Is it really a problem?) My boss had to call me out on it. And my husband frequently says "there's that [my last name] eyeroll!" Sometimes an eye roll says everything you need to say.
I am a slow talker and it drives my sister crazy. I blame it on my brain fog. Should we ever meet, you'll have to be patient with me. ?
I grew up in Baltimore City but never had a strong Bawlmer accent. Not sure why. I miss that city and its grittiness. In my 20's I frequented a vintage shop that was owned and managed by Divine (if you're familiar with John Water's movies). I remember going in there and proudly strutting out in this beautiful red and white, early 50's Lucille Ball-type dress and very high-heeled, open-toe shoes that were too small for my size 9 feet. The dress had stitches that were dry-rotted and totally ripped out as I exited my car. And I could barely walk in those shoes. But it was all worth it.
Thank you for indulging me in my travels down memory lane. It lifted my spirits.
So difficult to find out about the loss of friends. People who were part of your life, ones you cared about.
Compound that with needing to shield yourself from vitriol spoken by another who who has chosen to follow people spewing lies and harm.
I am sending you love and peace. As am doing this, I see a bee fling to you, with wings outstretched. It hovers by you and then flies away. An offering of blessings and healing. Is it sending you a bit of sweetness perhaps? Bees are also team animals and community is very important in their lives. Let us (your community) help lift you dear Tricia.
May you feel love and kindness.
Posted by @ghandigirl:
So for me, my choice is to choose peace and joy. I thrive on looking to underline, and seek out the silver linings. And when life isn't fair and it reminds you of every single time it just wasn't fair and you had no control, and your old wounds feel fresh and stifling, remember then you are a precious soul and you are here for a reason.
Dearest ghandigirl,
I had a hard time writing this post, because I couldn't decide which of your words I wanted to highlight. Everything you wrote was so beautiful -- filled with so much courage, honesty, wisdom and hope. Each time you post, you inspire me -- even those times when you're feeling really low, you show such raw courage through your vulnerability. You help me to accept myself just as I am -- and by your example, to be more honest, vulnerable, courageous and joyful. And you remind me -- over and over again -- that the choice is always mine.
Thank you, my friend. You are a beautiful light warrior.
Posted by @ghandigirl:
So for me, my choice is to choose peace and joy. I thrive on looking to underline, and seek out the silver linings. And when life isn't fair and it reminds you of every single time it just wasn't fair and you had no control, and your old wounds feel fresh and stifling, remember then you are a precious soul and you are here for a reason.
Dearest ghandigirl,
I had a hard time writing this post, because I couldn't decide which of your words I wanted to highlight. Everything you wrote was so beautiful -- filled with so much courage, honesty, wisdom and hope. Each time you post, you inspire me -- even those times when you're feeling really low, you show such raw courage through your vulnerability. You help me to accept myself just as I am -- and by your example, to be more honest, vulnerable, courageous and joyful. And you remind me -- over and over again -- that the choice is always mine.
Thank you, my friend. You are a beautiful light warrior.
Ok, now you both are going to make water come out of my eyes.