@streaminglight Holy Moly, welcome to our forum. What a treasure trove you have offered today. Thank you. I'm putting that post in the Intuitive Wisdom Forum Hall of Fame, both because it is so good, and because it is the first time that someone's debut post is that special. Thank you again, and welcome.
@dannyboy you are back in the saddle! You are home, and you are posting just like everyone else. Wow, so nice to read your thoughts today. After giving a big chunk of your liver to your wife's cousin, and spending the last 8 months preparing for that surgery, how are you feeling, my friend? And how is Kevin doing today?
@streaminglight What an inspiring post you've written. I've shared it with my sister, who is looking for a new job after being laid off earlier this year, and I find your story relevant not only to job seekers but to any of us who are attempting something challenging and new.
@tgraf66 It takes courage to reach out for help and I really admire you for doing so. I don't have any words to add to the life-affirming guidance you've already received here. But I'm sending you loving-kindness energy and hope that your job search leads you to the best place for you.
Many years ago I found this little Canadian show that was very similar to our forum. I had been laid off and had trouble finding new work. A man talked about affirmations and gave some examples. Based on his segment I typed up an affirmation, added cute clippart of children learning (I am a teacher ) and laminated it. I looked at it often, said it out loud, and for some time after I would have parts of it realized in various jobs I took on. Here it is:
I am happy and grateful that I now have a high paying job close to home that brings me great joy.
It was specific and focused. l already have a summer job teaching art for going on 4 years that is 5 minutes away. This year a fulltime job teaching Kindergarten became available . I never intended to teach full-time again but I needed a change from my former school year part time job, which was stressful and involved too much driving. Now I have two jobs at this school that I love.
The affirmation matches all I asked for. The salary isn't super high but does allow me to have excellent health benefits. It does bring me joy. It wasn't overnight, but it is amazing how the universe just dropped the opportunity I my lap, and until this job came along assisted me in other jobs that moved me forward.
Also I exercise, walk, dance or clean every day for depression. I force myself. It helps even if I cant do it for long. Music and Art are very healing too.
@tgraf66, thank you for sharing so much of yourself here with us. Your honesty tugged at my heart. I remember many months ago when you spoke of the chronic pain you were in, and how you faced that with resilience and courage. Having experienced a health setback and facing a job search, I am sure it all feels daunting to you. I understand the temptation to hide your head under the covers and stay there. I understand because I’ve had a history of depression, on and off, and have been there many times in my 71 years. The fact that you are sharing with us now and asking for help is very good sign – you don’t want to stay there. You’ve taken the first steps in moving forward by reaching out to us.
In my own life when I have been depressed, whether situational or not, I have often used many of the wonderful suggestions that people have posted here. For those of you who were Seinfeld watchers, I sometimes had to employ the George Constanza method of doing the exact opposite of what I would normally do – in my depressed situation, the exact opposite meant taking a walk, spending time in nature, calling a friend, watching a funny movie, dancing to music (that was a biggie for me), etc. – whatever would pull me out of my inertia and just get me moving and rejoining the world.
I’ve been out of the workforce for a long time and realize that searching for a job is very different from when I was employed. Maybe it’s my age talking, but it feels more complicated to me. I have no real practical ideas to add along those lines, but I love and support the suggestions that people have offered here.
@streaminglight, your post was so inspirational that it made me think of a John O’Donohue poem that I love, "For a New Beginning." Our lives are a series of new beginnings – some are directly forced upon us by life circumstances, some are Spirit’s direct call for us to step outside of our safety zones – but for me, it’s Spirit using circumstance to move me forward. Every moment of our lives is a new beginning to grow into our highest, authentic selves.
FOR A NEW BEGINNING
By John O'Donohue
In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the gray promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life's desire.Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will home in a new rhythm,
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.(Source: To Bless the Space Between Us: A Book of Blessings, by John O’Donohue, Doubleday, NY, 2008, p. 14.)
I think many of these things were helpful to me in the past, but they are not working that well for me as I have been dealing with PEM. It's likely a post covid symptom. For some reason. MD's are not quite caught up on this aspect of the pandemic, and pushing too much will do more harm than good.
I, as well as many others who are navigating this odd new normal, feel quite misunderstood at times. The healing from post viral things is not helped by the exterior world being pushy in any way.
But this is an opportunity to really see that there is always more to be learned. I do hope there is more research on post covid issues. What may present as depression is not really depression, although antidepressants may help a tiny bit. And I sense that counseling is helpful, but it's also similar to putting a tiny band aid on a wounded structure in the body.
@anya, I'm very sorry you are dealing with post-covid symptoms. I very much relate to the PEM and empathize with you. I've had myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome for the past 30 years. The symptoms of each are pretty much identical and challenging to treat. They're complicated and can sometimes be debilitating. It can make navigating your day-to-day life very difficult. If you're waking up with crushing fatigue, brain fog, orthostatic intolerance, etc. that affects how you spend your day. I understand feeling misunderstood (e.g., just take a walk or exercise and you will feel better), which can make adjusting to the new normal even harder to deal with. I'm fortunate to have found an understanding CFS physician who can offer guidance, and friends who support me.
Over the years I've learned to respect my limits and do what I can. The "doing what I can" helps with my depression. I have become a fierce medical advocate for myself, as well as for others. My ME journey has made me more empathetic ... kinder, I think (hope!). I'm kinder to myself too. I'm a bit slower in thought and speech -- writing helps with that -- and I do not multi-task (I was never good at it anyway, lol!) But the hidden blessing is that I see more, with a different kind of vision. I believe I am more present now than before I was diagnosed with ME.
I'm sorry you are going through this, @anya, and hope you find some resolution as you move forward. There has been some ongoing medical research on long Covid being done over the past year, which will hopefully benefit people like you and me.
@deetoo many days it is worse than I can explain. I’m trying to psych myself up for stamina to get a bit of a break and get out of town, but the pem and all else pummeling my spirit.
And the predatory people decide to target the vulnerable. Kindness and gentleness necessary.
@anya, I understand. I've had those days, believe me. Is there anyone there who can help you get out of town? It does feel like a change of scene might help you. Whatever is needed to nurture yourself.
Self-kindness and self-gentleness are essential. It took me a while to fully comprehend that. I'm sorry that you're dealing with predatory, toxic people. I'm praying for your protection, guidance and healing.
It's late and I'm tired, but I wanted to acknowledge everyone's thoughts, prayers, energy, and suggestions. I have started taking short walks daily, nothing much to start because I've been sedentary for so long, but it's a beginning. Thank you especially to @jeanne-mayell for sending the meditation recording. I have used it a couple of times so far, and although I don't know if it's having much of an effect yet, I will keep trying. My problem with it is that I'm usually snoring within about five minutes of starting it. ;-)
I am considering doing a small blog somewhere. I don't think it would be appropriate to do it here on the forum since it will be all about me (obviously! ;-) ), but I don't know where yet. Again, thank you to everyone, and I'll keep you all posted. I would appreciate continued energy flow from anyone who is inclined and has the time. :-)